Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Oh yes. They were a slurper.

i was relieved this was in reference to the coffee drinker.

i hope to god that was in reference to the coffee drinker.

Morrie Antoilette (Old Lunch) at 7:55 20 Jun 19


Workplace restrooms are perhaps the strongest refutation of mankind as a civilized species.

there's one dude in my work who does that. does make more than me, also from money

it's an alpha move, guys

i do wash my hands but i balance it out by wiping my ass on the door handles

well you must be
an acrobat
to talk like this
and act like that

Is this a guy thing? Ive rarely seen ladies toilets in the disgusting savage state you guys describe here, but even at my work, twice emails have had to go out chiding the males in the office because of the state of the toilets (someone did the puke-painting here, too, apparently. Prob after a heavy work drinks session).

Is this a guy thing?

it is maybe THE guy thing of guy things. Nearly all public men’s restrooms are covered with piss, it’s fucking insane.

In 2016 I was about a week into a new job with approx 3/20 male/female ratio in that department, when they had to call an all-female conference for the floor to explain to staff that the daily state of the ladies' loos was a health hazard

Nearly all public men’s restrooms are covered with piss, it’s fucking insane.

public bathrooms yes, though. on many occasions I have spent longer wiping down enough surfaces in a pub or nightclub cubicle to use it than I have spent using it

used to work at a place where the wall above the urinal was covered in a crust of picked boogers that was never cleaned up, all i assume from the same guy (i didn't test the evidence). i never talked to anyone about it because i had no idea who it could have been. there were a lot of prime suspects.

having worked for years in a bookstore with a public bathroom i can assure you that both men and women are absolute fucking savages

piss splatter is a guy thing, yes, but smearing shit on the walls is surprisingly universal

pretty sure that whoever stashed turds behind books in the children's section was a guy tho

Oh boy, public restrooms! That's where I'm a diseased animal!

Women's bathrooms can be worse because they tend to hover rather than sit down to pee, and that makes it as bad as the men's.

yes, but men tend to get distracted and walk around the room checking their email, peeing everywhere

And every men's toilets has a door that opens inwards, so you have to touch the filthy handle which every disgusting savage who hasn't washed their hands has already fondled. At least if there are paper towels you can use them for a prophylactic layer.

in at least half of my workplaces over the years weve had phantom floorshitters/wallsmearers and its has always been women, but in general the mens loos are in consistently worse state

in my new book about dating i

I cant say I have ever seen shit smeared on walls/floors what is wrong with people.

In a former workplace (the civil service no less) there would be a complaint about shit smearing in the ladies every other month, never the mens from memory.

used to work at a place where the wall above the urinal was covered in a crust of picked boogers that was never cleaned up

Had the same at my work. A snotter collection that gradually expanded for a couple of years before it got wiped.

Someone wrote below a similar collection in a cubicle at a previous employer: "To whoever picks their nose and wipes it on the toilet wall: You are an ANIMAL"

the three-floor flood we had at one workplace was traced to someone blocking the plughole with tissues and leaving the taps running in the woman's bathroom. which seems a hard thing to do by accident.

we also had someone who blocked a bathroom sink with the remains of his noodle dinner. (it was one of those sinks with a plunger thing instead of an actual plug, how he managed to get all the noodles into the tiny gap is beyond me)

Probably not udon

udon know what people are capable of

ah ffs xp

I withdraw in favour of your pun

The people I work with are predominantly young and educated in an urban setting. A few weeks ago, during the workday, someone pooped on the floor in the women’s restroom. Not even in a stall. I tried to get Facilities to check security camera footage to examine comings and going from just before the person who reported it went in, but nobody was as interested in finding the culprit as I was. The mystery will never be solved, I have so many questions.

If you did find the culprit, would you have a heart-to-heart chat with them about floor shitting?

floor shitting is a key component of the annual performance review

I know I have posted about the floor/toilet seat shitter who brought in cups of water and made the entire stall each time she used it. Everyone knew who it was. The cleaning woman knew who it was. We think she was doing a makeshift bidet in there. It was impossible to not know who it was since the bathroom only had 2 stalls in each one. I called HR about it. They approached her, she denied it. Nothing could be done about it because, you know, no one was in the stall with her to see it.

ugh "made the entire stall wet each time she used it".

multiple different managers at my work like to make calls on speakerphone in their offices with the door open. literally not one aspect of that is necessary.

including personal phone calls

Colleague left the door of the shop ajar. Wtf does that? Well, she did. Boss wanted to send a reprimand (by mail) but manager said to let it slide. (Here three complaints by mail and they can fire you on the spot. Also no dole money.)

Her excuse? I had things on my mind.

She’s really stacking up the mistakes. Drives everyone nuts.

this is pretty minor in the scheme of endless bullshit at my job, but still fucking irritating

Manager: hey are you busy, can I ask you a question?
Me: sure, what's up?

- 10 minutes elapse -

Manager: so I need you to check something on the CMS

- 10 minutes elapse -

WTF. can you just ask me the fucking question when you know what it is??

So when it's pretty common knowledge that Person A has been a major fuckup and thorn in everyone's side for years, and it finally gets to the point where Person A's actions are proving detrimental to the company, am I wrong in thinking that rerouting a sizable chunk of Person A's work to Person B without taking any further action against Person A is effectively a punitive action against Person B which just makes Person A's life a whole lot easier?

(I am neither of these people, btw, but it sucks to see shit like this happen.)

this is basically what happens to me (as in I am Person B being given Person A's work because Person A is useless). Person A is going on a performance review in the next couple of weeks though so maybe some action will happen but I'm not getting my hopes up

it took 30 minutes for my manager to tell me what she thought was a problem with the CMS. it wasn't a problem with the CMS. there was a problem but it was a frontend issue.

And this is why I've slowly devolved from 'eager beaver go-getter' to 'surly grump who doesn't do anything that isn't explicitly in his job description'. Learned that lesson the hard way too many times.

Every time I think the toilet habits in this place have reached their zenith, they find a way to exceed my expectations. Well done Wales.

Today I was invited to look at a shit a stranger had done because "it's a fucking cracker, innit". Speaking to someone else that I actually did know and had spoken to before, he's been protecting the cubicle for 40 minutes now to make sure as many people as possible see it.

I don't think he understood what Pride Week was about.

wait, was this guy showing off a shit he'd done himself or a shit someone else left in the bowl that he was so struck with admiration for that he had to let others see it too?

dunno what's worse tbh, either way that is deeply fucking weird behaviour

this is what selfie sticks are for

what, unclogging toilets?

no point carrying two sticks

Was it a fucking cracker tho?

I've ever been subject to one justifiable instance of this behavior (pulled into my restaurant's ladies room to view a log the size of Margaret Lanterman's, which I was forced to acknowledge as a cracker, specifically of porcelain).

am i a prude for thinking it's not appropriate under any circumstances - other than those strictly medical or, where mutual consent exists, sexual - for bowel movements to be treated as show-and-tell objects? wtf people

I was going to agree with you but, given what I encountered that one time I conceded, I'm suddenly left wondering how many dazzling spectacles of poo prowess I've denied myself through the years.

I assumed it was his but I suppose it could have been somebody else's. You don't know , man. You're not in Wales.

I once showed one of mine to my wife, in a hotel room, because it was like a fucking draught excluder.

I am very entertained that you could only show your wife your poo in a hotel room. Holiday poo.