Real England

This one would probably suffice: Rolling Ayrshire/Lanarkshire Thread 2011

otm

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D-josAFXkAEy2J3.jpg

wow

pick only one

pic.twitter.com/FkOaChsE3L

— Spelling Mistakes Cost Lives (@darren_cullen) March 13, 2018

'Exotic' bird turns out to be a gull covered in curry or turmeric https://t.co/ekQZ9kE7Dk pic.twitter.com/7MYnZoVX62

— BUCKINGHAMSHIRE (@DailyBUCKS) July 1, 2019

origin of the spices

vg, almost nickb-level there

Lol

holy shit

at the pun but also

daily bucks should coat their heraldic swan in turmeric as a tribute

On July 21st, 2009 I decided to write out the names of everyone mentioned in the day's edition of Huddersfield Examiner and it's a good job I did because in amongst all the celebs and murder victims, local man Jim Fennell got a mention for finding a 20p piece with no date on it. pic.twitter.com/ju2PHy2xi8

— Kevin Boniface (@MrKevinBoniface) July 9, 2019

only a couple of weeks till the 10th anniversary of Jim Fennell Day.

the only good news story

THAT NEWS STORY IN FULL

JIM Fennell of Holmebridge has found one of those 20p pieces that has no date.

You know, the ones that are supposed to be worth cash.

"I just found one in my change," he says. "I feel like Charlie Bucket in Willy Wonka with his golden ticket.

"What do you think I should do? Cash it in for £50 prize or should I be like Clint Eastwood and hold out for a Few Dollars More?"

Fifty quid seems good to me.

Now, let’s have another look at my change.

things jim fennell of holmebridge did not in fact say:

"I feel like charlie bucket in willy wonka with his golden ticket" y/n
"should I be like clint eastwood and hold out for a few dollars more?" y/n

You know, those 20p pieces that are supposed to be worth cash

@normalprivate

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/d5a1df7ecc885cc5fa2f31a9ea2be36e9df72b2b/0_273_3500_2100/master/3500.jpg?width=620&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=28682b0d31b1e1890de1778ca0f59259

Staff in a Middlesbrough McDonald’s received a surprise guest on Saturday night when a snake was found abandoned in the restaurant.

The corn snake, thought to be approximately three weeks old, was found by a member of staff in a plastic takeaway tub.

please sir not so loud or everyone will want one

broke: big mac
woke: smol snek

"Allow soldiers to have their own month" https://t.co/G20OZw4LW0

— Rejected Petitions (@rejectpetitions) July 10, 2019

This petition was rejected

lmao owned

lool!

As people are fighting over LGBT month and saying their should be a month for soldiers, i decided to create this petition so the people of the UK want what they want

genuinely can't decide whether this is a pisstake or not

maybe a petition for PIP to recognise PTSD as a genuine disability might be more useful to "our boys", but let's face it they can't even spell PTSD.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D_OKxGHWsAMdiym.jpg

these 2 beehives appeared out of nowhere on a local long abandoned colliery site recently. I didn't think it was inappropriate to ask some bloke who was approaching them what it was all about. His response was really shitty and standoffish and he gruffly told me to avoid them because they were very angry bees. Like as if I was planning on stealing them, lol that would be fun.

HANDS OFF MAH BEES

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9489417/britains-longest-serving-police-officer-five-arrests-52-years/

ACAB nonetheless.

someone didn’t train their sub properly and it shows pic.twitter.com/gWGiCdJu4L

— Addison. (@EXPENSIVE_HOE) July 16, 2019

Would you like to read about mass violence on a cruise ship sparked by a clown? Yes, you would.
🚢 🤡 🔪 👇🏽 https://t.co/bhfOFILx4T

— Conner Habib (@ConnerHabib) July 27, 2019

Allow soldiers to have their own moth.

Can't believe a bunch of patriots were violent shitheads

That cruise ship story is amazing. The level of detail - who knew that cruises explicitly forbidding fancy dress were a real thing? The mental image of some wee guy in a face full of clown make-up taunting a family who had their trip spoiled is never going to leave me either.

Too rye ay!

Britannia left Bergen at 1430 on Thursday, the violence occurred 12 hours later after a black-tie evening. It followed an afternoon of ‘patriotic’ partying on deck, with large amounts of alcohol being consumed by many guests. pic.twitter.com/zQcEXGDJeg

— Richard Gaisford (@richardgaisford) July 27, 2019

the backbone of our country there!

shd've been "This Is What She's Like" amirite?

who knew that cruises explicitly forbidding fancy dress were a real thing

enjoyed some American in the replies being baffled at 'fancy dress' meaning clown costumes as opposed to suit and tie etc. can see his point tbh

a spectre is haunting real england

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EAj5UYgWwAAfwNR?format=jpg

https://i.imgur.com/oOA1xkG.png

gammon pennywise strikes again xp

you'll bloat too

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/aug/16/seasides-town-new-toilets-feature-high-tech-anti-sex-measures

speaking of seaside towns and (hyper)real england, we have commenced a short stay in sheerness. so far, love it

*lunges towards the high-tech-anti-sex-measures lever*

astonishing that the shipwreck of SS Richard Montgomery is still lying there after 75 years and apparently laden with enough ww2 explosives (1,434 tonnes of TNT) to cause a mini tsunami if she goes bang!

Hence the high tech anti-sex measures

lol

if the great wave looms we'll know someone's been up to no good

seaside town of Porthcawl is planning to install anti-sex public toilets that would spray occupants with water

surely this is just going to entice golden shower fetishists