Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

loads of people it seems

I get gmails for some guy in Wisconsin who buys a deer-hunting license every year, some guy in Ireland who does something to do with horse racing, timesheets for a temp worker in the midlands (that was a bit of a weird one, since I am from the midlands and my namesake was working not far from where I grew up)

I used to reply telling them but it doesn't make any difference, they just keep on coming.

So I work in the nonprofit division of a company that, by and large, handles for-profit business. The primary email address I monitor consists entirely of the word 'nonprofit' before the @. Not a lot of ambiguity there. So when I regularly receive emails that are like 'yeah hi would you be interested in this retail auto parts franchise' I have to wonder what people think 'nonprofit' means. Or if they've ever given it any thought. Or if they think. Gag me. With a spoon.

i get a lot of misdirected emails to my personal address and when I reply to say "you've got the wrong email address" the usual response is "well this is the one you/your colleague/Todd gave to me, which one am I supposed to use???"

― kinder, Friday, December 20, 2019 3:27 AM bookmarkflaglink

Lol "don't you tell me you're not the right person!" always blows my mind. i have a dude at work whose name is exactly the same as mine, sans three letters (first and last) so the same would sometimes happen to me.

So they'd email me when they wanted him and I'd say "you really mean this guy" and give them the right contact and they go WELL MY BOSS TOLD ME YOU WERE THE PERSON.

"I think i know who I am, athankyou"

You think. Which means you can't say for sure.

C'mon. Stop fuckin' with me, Neondirtpal.

My boss is trying to convince my coworker to buy the business bc she wants to retire

She wants $250k

The company hasn’t made a profit in years

She has been loaning the business money each year for years

How does she think my coworker could get a loan to buy a unprofitable business?

A couple weeks ago coworker told me she had a meeting set up with boss so she could present a business proposal (let coworker run the business for a year, split profits, pay boss a salary*, boss doesn’t have to do anything, see if coworker can make the business work before committing to purchase). Coworker is surprised bc boss says she also has a business proposal.

Coworker comes back from meeting and when I ask what boss’ proposal was she says 0_o boss suggested a new way of merchandising the stores 0_o

That was her bUsinESs pRopOsaL

*boss has not been paying herself a salary for years. We recently got audited.

Boss has somehow kept this v badly run business afloat for 40 yrs
NB her side hustle is landlord to several properties in the Bay Area and New Zealand

Some people have weird ass vanity businesses. it's so strange. I had a friend that asked if I would take her daytime shifts in a small, typical trendy boutique in the east village for two weeks ( I did not work there at all and supposedly the owner was fine with her asking whoever for two weeks). There were some days not a single person would come in. I think I sold 4 things the entire time I was there. The owner did not seem bothered.

Oh my boss goes hard out with this business and is v invested in it, she’s just not good at it

I know there are a myriad of reasons those businesses exist, especially ones that are very boutique and sell $$ over short periods to moneyed clients or are a hobby for a rich person, but my go-to thought is always money laundering

She could never work for anyone so she had to go into business for herself. She has a v scatterbrained approach to everything and constantly contradicts herself. The only reason she’s managed this long (apart from injecting more outside money into it every year) is bc we have little competition

I always think it's a money laundering front too. xpost

I always liked how Rice to Riches was set up to launder money and then it unexpectedly became a successful business. That was rice pudding was really good. I think there was a pizza place front in blyn too that unexpectedly became really popular too.

I did not know that about Rice to Riches.
Should've guessed something was dodgy; they serve COLD rice pudding.

I only like cold rice pudding!

cold rice pudding is extremely common ime

especially if not made at home, like nearly any Greek or Turkish or Lebanese takeaway place will have tubs of it in the drinks fridge to grab and go

I'm like 94% convinced that our CEO is some sort of warlock who feeds on the cognitive capacity of anyone who works for or with us. As if my dumb ass alone isn't evidence of that theory.

― i was so hungry that i ate a hole cake entirely to myself (Old Lunch)

on december 19, 2019, old lunch discovered the secret of capitalism

PLEASE stop your loud + impassioned discussion about the panoply of delicious foodstuffs on the McDonald's menu. PLEASE. Can you seriously not see my soul wrenching itself free from my body?

moving to a new even-more-open office next week— like i think we’re just sitting next to each other at tables or something

stoked for the intimacy

I hate it. I hate it so, so much. Like I don't care what point I am in the process, if I'm ever interviewing for a different job and discover that they've been infected with this open office insanity I am OUT.

And almost as if on cue, desk drumming begins from two rows behind me, with an unrestrained force + volume that might almost be comical under other circumstances.

How about instead of an open office we go for soundproofed cages. How about that.

don't move to the UK, pretty much all offices are open offices. I've never worked in one that wasn't. at my current job not even the CEO has their own office. they just sit at a bank of desks next to the one my team sits at

I'm sure there are more interactive work circumstances where such a layout is beneficial and makes sense but a workspace where people are largely just trying to concentrate on their own shit while contending with a smattering of hosebeasts with inadequate self-control is not among those circumstances.

I doubt it tbh. it's about cost-saving, not making work better. office space costs money

(Apologies, did not realize the antiquated slang term 'hosebeast' is apparently a gendered insult. Mine is an equal opportunity ire directed at anyone across the spectrum who logs into their work station and proceeds to behave as if they're at a foam party.)

Came in today to teach a 13 person class..five showed up. Seems six of the eight no-shows were pulled from the class (with nobody telling us), two that were terminated (with nobody telling us).

The only reason we had two classes today was because mine was supposed to have 13. We could have just folded this into one class.

So the class is now down to two people because they found out four of the six had already taken the class (how nobody figured this out before now is beyond me). Two is below the minimum requirements for a class.

The only reason I'm salty about it is it's 8 hours of talking, but if they'd told us in advance, we could have had one class and two of us could have shared it, giving me a break now and then.

Also who schedules training around New Years ffs

moving to a new even-more-open office next week — like i think we’re just sitting next to each other at tables or something

fucking loud in here, and not because anyone in particular is being loud, but just that there are so many people and so little to absorb the sound

at least there's free selzer on tap i guess

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FUCK OFF EPIC GAMES.

...sorry this was better for the missent email thread I guess lol

sending out emails with a Keep Calm and Carry On theme, what year is this?

where does neighboring co-worker refusing to use a mousepad rank on the list of crimes?

CLACK.... CLACK... CLAAAAACK

I don't think I've seen a mousepad in about 15 years, do they even exist any more??

Deicide sells one

I'm using a mousepad right now - its filthy

Someone was trimming their nails in a bathroom stall this morning. Whether fingers or toes, I couldn't say, but at this point I just assume whatever makes the least goddamn sense.

so ppl just scrape the mouse on their desks all day? what a world.

I actually use a little blackboard for a mousepad, and have a little tiny nail affixed to the bottom of my mouse. Works beautifully!

i have a mousepad with a picture of a puppy on it and i have a cordless mouse. much better mouse situation than in any of my previous jobs

These are only 8 euros!
https://www.seventhrecords.com/en/various-collectibles-37/magma-mouse-pad-1285.html

https://www.seventhrecords.com/en/upload/magma-rouge-noir-print-f54zty.jpg

sorry bit big there

I use the trackpad cos i have a lapper

Jesus Christ thats huge!

Thanks I use Extenz

lol, stop

Tho at first for some reason I thought it was the mark of the Empire from STar War

(Note: the following phenomenon mostly applies to outside parties rather than coworkers per se but, because these things often slip past coworkers unnoticed before they're routed to me, I am okay with implicating them.)

I never, ever thought I'd see the day that I'd encounter professional adults who lack awareness of the necessary components of a US postal address (i.e. those who fill out the address fields on a form and omit a street address, city, state, zip, or some combination of the above). Now I see that day on most days. And this post was, btw, prompted by encountering two instances of such within the past hour. Do these people receive mail ever? And if so, how?

super bizarre lol

These things come from enough different sources all across the country that I'm mostly convinced at this point that I'm just bearing witness to the degradation of the American mind in real time.