start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

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Phone conference systems where you have to say your name on entering - but which broadcast that to yourself as well as everyone else - I never want to hear my voice tbqh, but particularly not before talking to strangers, but particularly not saying my name as if I'm reading two words I've never heard before of a card I've just been handed.

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 9 March 2020 15:33 (four years ago) link

this is me leaving a voicemail, they should replace waterboarding with that

gramsci in your surplice (gyac), Monday, 9 March 2020 15:36 (four years ago) link

apparently a few people in my company didn't realize it would play the name and said shit like "kiss my ass" as their name only to be horrified when they heard themselves say that moments later.

sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Monday, 9 March 2020 21:37 (four years ago) link

my favorite though is when it says "please say your name, followed by the pound sign", and nobody remembers to hit the pound sign, so the name is like 30 seconds of the person saying their name, then eating sounds.

sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Monday, 9 March 2020 21:38 (four years ago) link

late again but that is obv rational pp

Fantastic. Great move. Well done (sic), Monday, 9 March 2020 21:41 (four years ago) link

(I barely need an excuse to report this)

https://filmeditors.tumblr.com/post/93233199637/shutupaubrey-princesschloepea-life-tip

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 9 March 2020 21:44 (four years ago) link

*repost

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 9 March 2020 21:45 (four years ago) link

I shouldn't make fun, I'm after all the guy who did an unintentional George Carlin routine when he thought he was muted during training just 6 months ago.

no discipline whatsoever. which means nothing more than "we are in such a shit shape right now that we can't afford to suspend you".

sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Monday, 9 March 2020 21:46 (four years ago) link

i told my kid off - like, seething with anger - when i was wfh one time and thought i was muted on a call.

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Monday, 9 March 2020 23:26 (four years ago) link

ohhhhhhh noooooooo

Yerac, Monday, 9 March 2020 23:27 (four years ago) link

ayyyyyup

back on the line briskly like, 'hi!' then noticing i'd hit 'speaker' instead of 'mute'.

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Monday, 9 March 2020 23:32 (four years ago) link

Someone did that to their kid once and the other person on the line freaked out thinking they were talking to her.

sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 March 2020 00:10 (four years ago) link

two weeks pass...

I think I saw a symbol in the park painted onto the path that was intended to remind people that they should keep 2metres apart, only what they had marked is more like 2 feet than metres. I could see some purpose in printing it larger so that people saw it and remembered it.
Just am wondering how good people's spacial understanding is, so would have thought actually trying to keep something closer to teh real distance would have been a lot more beneficial.
Hope people aren't now going to think they are keeping 2 metres apart when they're whatever that was.

I think it may have just been abstractly copied from a sign that is going around with the social distancing guidelines on.
Do just think that seeing it at that size might just mislead people.

& again the impossibility of keeping that distance in any supermarket is a little frustrating anyway.

Stevolende, Tuesday, 24 March 2020 17:31 (four years ago) link

Why do the salt the top part of Pringles instead of the bottom? The shape of a Pringle just about fits perfectly on the tongue, but the salty side is wasted.

Please do not make any sort of reference to r*s*lt*nt p*st*, please. We can talk about Pringles without that.

pplains, Tuesday, 24 March 2020 19:09 (four years ago) link

Couldn't you turn the Pringle upside down and rotate it 90 degrees?

nickn, Tuesday, 24 March 2020 19:31 (four years ago) link

or just salt the resulting paste before using it to stick together two intact pringles?

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 24 March 2020 20:57 (four years ago) link

If you turn it upside down and 90º, it becomes wider than it is ... deep.

Maybe for a big mouth like Tracer Hand that would work, but not for me.

pplains, Tuesday, 24 March 2020 21:23 (four years ago) link

respect to tracer for imagining literally the nastiest way to eat pringles (salt-side-out 3-pringle sandwich filled with resultant pringle-paste)

mark s, Tuesday, 24 March 2020 21:28 (four years ago) link

Tracer is the hero we need.

consultant haste (gyac), Tuesday, 24 March 2020 21:36 (four years ago) link

i'm glad someone's finally saying it.

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 24 March 2020 21:53 (four years ago) link

two weeks pass...

I can't fucking stand it when my kids (particularly the older one) have FaceTime conversations with their friends while walking around the house. She'll carry it around with her when she's making a snack in the kitchen, or brushing her teeth, and so on. I'll be sitting there, reading a book, and she'll just walk up and go "hi, dad!" And I'll look up and she has the fucking phone in her hand, hanging at her side, swinging around, and often ear buds in, too. I think, 1) that's got to be the worst video call ever and 2) why not go audio only if you're not going to look at the screen and 3) your life is not a fucking reality show, you don't have to broadcast every last second and 4) if it's come to just hanging around me while the phone is running, and your earbuds are in, and making non-conversation, then ... maybe you should just get off the phone and 5) I don't want to be in your reality show, get that thing away from me. I tell her it's rude to both everyone around her as well as the little five inch friend she has perma-streaming on the other end.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 19:10 (four years ago) link

kick her out imo

Yanni Xenakis (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 22:41 (four years ago) link

Done.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 22:50 (four years ago) link

in times like these rash moves are sometimes necessary

Yanni Xenakis (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 22:59 (four years ago) link

Same same same.

pplains, Thursday, 9 April 2020 00:53 (four years ago) link

My kids have discovered Facetime.

Nothing like hanging out, socks up on the desk and looking at weird tumblr, when lo and behold, it's the floating head of my mother next to me, being held aloft by one of the brats.

― pplains, Tuesday, November 3, 2015 8:20 PM

pplains, Thursday, 9 April 2020 00:55 (four years ago) link

afk people in video games. right now i'm doing this more than probably ever (video games) considering, lol, something's gotta pass the time, half the times we start virtual games and a motherfucker disappears 2 minutes into it, ruining it.

genital giant (Neanderthal), Sunday, 12 April 2020 14:34 (four years ago) link

also not that it applies atm, but waiters who come to your table and just look at you and don't say anything. I'm like a vampire, I require invitation, so not getting a "hi my name is xxx, what would you like?" leaves me to stare back silently until one of us blinks or walks into traffic

genital giant (Neanderthal), Sunday, 12 April 2020 14:35 (four years ago) link

Similarly, I got take-out yesterday, paid at the counter and, since the cashier immediately went back to their phone, sat down to wait for my presumably not-ready-yet order. Ten damn minutes later it becomes clear that one of the several bags that had been sitting on the counter the entire time was mine. The cashier had given me zero indication that my order was ready, or that it was one of the bags already sitting out, and was apparently unbothered that I was sitting there waiting for no reason while my food grew cold right in front of me.

Dan I., Sunday, 12 April 2020 17:14 (four years ago) link

when i go to play a funny game that will make me laugh, and it's filled with some asshole who responds to every prompt with the same forced unfunny meme.

memes used to have a communal aspect to them, now half the time it's one unfunny dick saying the same shit over and over again until someone else joins in because they want him to shut the fuck up and move onto something else.

genital giant (Neanderthal), Thursday, 16 April 2020 01:53 (four years ago) link

it's like the dude that says "that's what she said all the time", but even when it doesn't make sense.

genital giant (Neanderthal), Thursday, 16 April 2020 01:54 (four years ago) link

one unfunny dick saying the same shit over and over again until someone else joins in because they want him to shut the fuck up and move onto something else

board description

Fleetwood Machiavelli (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 16 April 2020 02:16 (four years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Realised last night that after months of seeing offers for a month's free trial of Netflix they no longer have tehm at the moment. Assume it must be because they've had as many new members as they need.
ho hum.
Wondering if I should go ahead anyway.
Been putting it off cos I spend a lotof time listening to podcasts as it is.

Stevolende, Saturday, 2 May 2020 16:09 (four years ago) link

I signed up for them Stevo and think it is a load of shit tbh. As soon as season 4 of Rick and Morty is finished I'm cancelling them.

calzino, Saturday, 2 May 2020 16:22 (four years ago) link

loads of the series that get raved about on these hallowed pages are absolute garbage, I'm afraid to say!

calzino, Saturday, 2 May 2020 16:23 (four years ago) link

Clicking on the Facebook logo of a corporate site to see their Facebook page and instead, getting treated to a pop-up window requesting me to log into my account so I can share the damn screen I'm on.

pplains, Wednesday, 6 May 2020 17:39 (four years ago) link

Why can't this guy get hold of Mojo magazine for me if he can get hold of Uncut.
I always associate them are they done by different p[eople now or something.
Thought they were 2 of the bigger UK music press.
Now this guy's claiming that the normal Irish distributor doesn't carry Mojo.

Blooming both want things to not open too soon and my monthly reading habits not to change.

Stevolende, Wednesday, 6 May 2020 19:32 (four years ago) link

I can't believe how worked up this has gotten me, but it's more due to the stupidity of it.

I went onto the Metallica.com store to buy some digital releases. I've spent a half hour trying to buy two digital releases, and every time it gets to billing, it gets stuck, because it shows no shipping options available (cos they're fuckin' DIGITAL) and tells me to check my address, and doesn't let me go any further.

If I add a physical product to it, it works. so if I add a 59 cent stencil to the order, suddenly I can get to the final screen. but then it makes me buy shipping at $5. if I remove the product...IT LEAVES THE $5 SHIPPING FOR A DIGITAL ITEM.

I can't believe how stupid this is designed and I guess nobody ever complains cos most people buy physical items too.

I am a free. I am not man. A number. (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 19 May 2020 23:48 (four years ago) link

Just get it from Napster.

pplains, Wednesday, 20 May 2020 00:13 (four years ago) link

There it is

I am a free. I am not man. A number. (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 20 May 2020 00:18 (four years ago) link

Can't wait to get the 14 cd reissue of Load

I am a free. I am not man. A number. (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 20 May 2020 00:19 (four years ago) link

Here's mine on a related note: I went to Epic Games to get the free GTA V for PC this weekend.

(I've got a PC that can barely load Minesweeper, but hey, it gives me something to "shoot" for!)

The next thing that happened has been happening way too frequently lately. I create a new account, go through the whole process, and then at the end, it says "You already have an account! Sign in with that!"

I promise I've never had an account with Epic Games before this weekend. I go through the motions again like a crazy person and yup, get the exact same result.

Then I get the idea, Why not reset my password? I do and go through the motions of that. This time, I log into my account with no problems.

Except it's not my account. It's Otto Baker lll's account. You might not know him as Otto because his friends probably call him Tre – which, btw, is my name too.

Anyway. Otto/Tre downloaded Fortnite from Epic a year ago and was never heard from again. But now I've got to be Otto if and when I ever successfully boot GTA V up on this crap PC.

But here's thing that I got irrationally made about. The welcome screen spells out our name in all-caps. And that's where I learned that this idiot didn't spell his name Otto Baker III like I would have. No. His name on epic was OTTO BAKER LLL.

pplains, Wednesday, 20 May 2020 00:23 (four years ago) link

OTTO BAKER LOL LOL LOL

nickn, Wednesday, 20 May 2020 00:55 (four years ago) link

Haaaaa

Yanni Xenakis (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 20 May 2020 01:56 (four years ago) link

You could have done a lot worse than “Otto” though

Yanni Xenakis (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 20 May 2020 01:56 (four years ago) link

wait, how did someone else register an account under your email?

I am a free. I am not man. A number. (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 20 May 2020 02:00 (four years ago) link

I don't know!

I get trebaker, tre.baker... dudes who go by trevon and I guess just forget about the second part?

Maybe he registered, never got the confirmation email and gave up, actually leaving his Fortnite hanging there in limbo. I DON'T KNOW.

My government name isn't really Otto though, nor was his. Hell, I guess that asshole Secretary of State under the first Bush was a Tre Baker too.

pplains, Wednesday, 20 May 2020 02:38 (four years ago) link

ahh my friend used his gov't name as his email and he was the first person with his exact name to get a gmail, so he constantly gets other peoples emails cos they forget to put "j✧✧✧.ja✧✧✧.jinglehei✧✧✧.schmid✧✧✧@gm✧✧✧.c✧✧" and just leave out the "43" or w/e.

so that makes sense.

I am a free. I am not man. A number. (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 20 May 2020 02:51 (four years ago) link

Yeah, I got both my day-to-day name and the government one.

Boy, my dad was pissed about that last one.

pplains, Wednesday, 20 May 2020 02:54 (four years ago) link

I get this shit all the time, I'm firstinitialsurname@gmail, and both personally and professionally annoyed at the number of companies that swear that you need to click this link to confirm your email address, but it's a bluff, they'll send you "today in Zoosk" emails from now until the end of time even if you don't.

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 20 May 2020 10:50 (four years ago) link


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