Real England

Watch to the very end.

pic.twitter.com/MTpDOD5Try

— Happening 🔞 (@witzhappening) June 8, 2020

looool

The dude filming it calling him a legend, laughing his ass off but just before the end says "he went that way"...

Another one, this is strange now.

Like something straight out of the Beano, but it does look a bit fake. Police don't normally wear the chinstrap down like that iirc?

They do in a high-scamp area though.

I’m calling the police pic.twitter.com/1WIG3bhQZR

— mnrrntt2 and 87 (@mnrrntt) June 21, 2020

from the led by donkeys wikipedia page

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c9/A_Led_by_Donkeys_billboard_quoting_Boris_Johnson_saying_leaving_the_EU_will_cause_uncertainty.jpg

Knife fight between daytripping Londoners near the amusements at Bournemouth Pier is pretty retro Real England.

Knife fight at a beach rave in Sheppey, a more modern approach.

Let's hope the Teds stay out of it this time

Still with Kent Online,

Controversy struck yesterday after Kent Police tweeted out a photo of two officers holding the Gypsy Roma Traveller flag, prompting hundreds of angry responses from the public.

....

Mr Ferrari shot back at the councillor, arguing that police should not get involved in political campaigning and asking him: "Why fly a flag for Gypsy rights?"

The LBC host continued to tell listeners about his time living in Kent, when a toilet and plasterboard was dumped into his parent's land, to which Cllr Osborne said we should be careful to point fingers at who is responsible for fly-tipping.

Mr Ferarri added: "Why can they not tweet quick enough about Gypsy rights, but we have to ask about Armed Forces Day?"

Illustrated with this picture of Cllr Osborne for some reason.

https://i.postimg.cc/GmCZyPcP/LSB15-HVHRLNQDEYO5-LEH.jpg

i noticed via the radio the other day that it's Armed Forces *Week*, not just a simple day for our brave boys and girls

then the Beeb had some chinless cunt doing PR for the military but i turned over

Armed Forces 24/7 365 in Kent, baby.

shitting in burger box at the beach is classic Real England

12 tonnes of rubbish left on Bournemouth beach yesterday. People had even defecated in burger boxes & left on beach. We are creating a pandemic & pollution hell on Earth #Covid19UK #plasticpollution pic.twitter.com/FoYcvligF1

— dominic dyer (@domdyer70) June 25, 2020

i can only imagine with a shudder of gratitude for being elsewhere

U aim for the box, u best not miss

There was once this really unpleasant character who used to often hog the local phone box for hours (this was in the pre-mobile phone era) and often make innapeopriately sexual comments to any children in the area. So My partner's nephew and neice decided to leave him a present in the phone box, they shat in a ferrerero Roche box and left it on the shelf for him. He definitely wasn't impressed when he opened it!

So many questions.

Like one big shit or loads of little ones, one for each chocolate?

Lmao. 'Yo dawg we heard you're being a shit in a box, so we put a shit in a box in the box you're a shit in'

You ask that and not whether it was wrapped in gold foil?

I can't remember which one shat in it but they were 12 and 13 years old at the time if that helps!

Clearly the trick is to drop a massive tartare-induced deuce then to carefully sculpt it into a dozen chocolatey pebbles before wrapping them, Midas-like, in foils of gold.

Probably advisable for the 13 year old to play the Ambassador, bit more gravitas.

Stage one: open the box

Nothing was wrapped, so God knows why this fule even picked the box up, but he did!

I like eat a Ferrero Rocher box, shit it out and then spread the resulting paste between two intact Ferrero Rocher boxes

I think the phone box guy was addicted to sex chatlines. I'm not joking he would be in there for hours, possibly on speed, he'd even bring his bathroom rug in there with him some days!

Classic Real England, they don't make 'em like that any more

I was walking along the Regent's Canal once (up near St Pancras old church) and saw the most beautiful, ornate box floating along by the side. Looking back I should have known better, but I fished it out - all finely folded thick white card on a light wooden plinth, replete with a bow - and opened it up. Inside, lovingly inlaid, was a perfectly formed human shite. I fully expected Lisa Riley or someone to jump out with a camera but nothing.

itt: posts with beautiful vivid imagery

Classic Real England, they don't make 'em like that any more

― tired of waiting for icu (Matt #2), Friday, 26 June 2020 14:33 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

RIP phone boxes

https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/18561160.angry-mods-descend-brighton-battle-madeira-drive/

So tempted to hit the spoons and then go and laugh at the angry mods in the miserable pissy rain

“Heaven,” said Bert Lockley, a regular, sipping his first pint of draught Guinness for three months. “I’ve missed this more than my missus when she left,” Lockley said.

Here are the bar staff at The Alliance Inn @MENnewsdesk pic.twitter.com/1lRB2kscTk

— Rebecca Day (@RebeccaDayMEN) July 4, 2020

I admire their enthusiasm but each of those blow up sex dolls will have been through enough hands by 11pm to qualify as a superspreader event in their own right.

Spreading what though?

thatcherism https://t.co/9vlKfWzZ0A

— friends of pudding (@friend2pudding) July 13, 2020

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EdtlIseXsAEGRex?format=jpg&name=4096x4096

couldn't get a proper pic because i feel like a creep taking pics of local posh tory houses even though I'm quite inclined to be very nosy about what these ppl are like and wtf makes them tick! But this house has a nameplate: "Aslan's How" with a homemade laminated rona rainbow pic in the window : "God is in control"

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EdyKRkyXgAI9p1F?format=jpg&name=4096x4096

just sighted my first old-school horse and cart "real" scrapper in ages, huge rigger boots on as well - scrapper to the core this dude was.

still come round regular round here, there's an area of Hull called Gipsyville from back in ye olden days

I guess what they say is true, England *is* turning into Romania.

xp

Anglia, pământ românesc.

some tatters used to leave their pony tied out on a grass verge not far from my house, used to feed him Polos on the way to work in the morning

I wonder how much the Rona has decimated the industrial metals markets, in the noughties all the huge Chinese infrastructure spending was pushing copper to be the new gold. I can remember when copper was that cheap if a cable drum was broken people would throw it in the skip and grab another!

got a birthday card in the post from the UK, one of those ones that is either the innocent smoothies aesthetic applied to drinking or an alcoholism joke (never clear which). a uniquely british form of humour afaict.

Did it have the word "cheeky" in it

I only deal with appropriately respectful alcoholics ftr!