Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...

Yer auld da', that'll do the trick.

La Lechera, is your problem really with the full, more formal word "mother" (vs. the informal short form "mom") and not with "your"? Or with both together?

Anyway when I'm talking to my children, if I say "Mom" or "Mother" to mean my wife, that's confusing and odd to me. Because my wife most definitely isn't MY mother or mom. I don't call her Mom when we're talking to each other (ick).

"Mom's at the grocery store" = ambiguous. Could mean two different people.

"Your mom's at the grocery store" = unambiguous. Clearly means exactly one person.

"My mom's at the grocery store" = unambiguous. Clearly means exactly one person.

(FWIW I love my mother very much, we have a good relationship. But I've always called her "mother" and it doesn't sound remotely cold or fussy to me, because it's what I'm used to. One of my sisters calls her "Mom" or "Mommy" only when she wants something, so to my ears it sounds a little cloying. But that's just me.)

Alfred how about " consternatin' "

"Mom's at the grocery store" = ambiguous. Could mean two different people.

That's why you say 'grandma' when talking about your own mom in front of the kids.

To make matters even more confusing, sometimes my mom calls me mom (mami) and my dad calls me dad (tati). This is standard in Romanian.

That's why you say 'grandma' when talking about your own mom in front of the kids.

That's just relocating the same problem! My grandma is not at the store. Their grandma is at the store. So I would say "your grandma."

This is not complicated.

Just give everyone nicknames. Problem solved.

Just dissolve the nuclear family.

xpost Jookie's at the store, and Bizzle is at the doctor

Nuclear family is good not bad imo. One for the controps thread?

Just a joke. I love my family.

Apparently it's odd that me and my brothers say "my dad" rather than just "Dad" when discussing our dad.

Think this is a West of Scotland thing, yeah. My extended family all use it - even to the extent of exchanges like
Cousin: "Should I bring my gran when I come over?"
Me: "what your gran or my gran my-gran?"

My sister always objects. "She's MY GRAN TOO"

in California people refer to their parents as the mom or dad, much like they do highways and interstates

Students whose first language in Spanish will often write "my grandma" and "my mom" repeatedly in papers. For variety's sake, I'll ask, "What do you call them?" If they say "Mami" or "Abuelita" or whatever I urge them to use that nickname after the first reference.

Not as bad as 'the wife' but it's up there.

xp

people from the Houston area, however, refer to the children of their aunts and uncles as "feeder siblings"

None of these are bad.
What's bad is when you're so used to referring to your wife as 'mummy' around the kids, and not at all used to having your own mother visit and similarly not used to calling her 'Granny', that you intend to call your own mother 'Mum' or 'Granny' but keep saying 'mummy' when you're a grown man.

Your school bus is almost here = informative and normal

Your backpack is in the car = informative and normal

Your lunch is on the table = informative and normal

Your dance class is at 3:00 = informative and normal

Your guinea pig needs to be fed = informative and normal

Your mom is at the grocery store = hostile and passive-aggressive

Got it.

Yo momma.

is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

If dads can't deal with/feel weird or uncomfortable referring to their children's mother as "mom" ***when talking with their children**** the problem is more complex than we are giving it credit for here

i find myself calling my wife 'maman' when i talk to my kids because that's what they call her. it's like her name. kinda weird from the outside maybe.

to the kids, it is her name -- she IS mom
i appreciate you acknowledging that
to me "your mother" sounds very cold

it sounds cold because it is cold! it's saying she's YOUR mother but she is MY WIFE

it's all related

(Borat voice) MY WIFE

My dad has never been especially progressive (although generally more so than the average Romanian man of his generation) and he calls my mom 'mom' all the time when talking with me. Might also be a cultural thing, idk.

my sister loves referring to “your mother” when she talks to me about our mom, it’s like it somehow confers her power over me, or over her, or both. i loathe it obv

exactly!!! it's a power move and to have that come from my dad? to me? about my mom? YUCK

i find myself calling my wife 'maman' when i talk to my kids

TH channelling his inner J-J Rousseau.

Just give everyone nicknames. Problem solved.

― stabbing fantaisiste, repellent imagiste (pomenitul), Tuesday, August 11, 2020 10:32 AM (five hours ago)

This is more or less how my Indian in-laws do it actually. And really "Mom" and "Dad" are nicknames

My dad has never been especially progressive (although generally more so than the average Romanian man of his generation) and he calls my mom 'mom' all the time when talking with me. Might also be a cultural thing, idk.

never before have i disagreed with la lechera so vehemently

refer to my dad as "oscar" primarily or "my dad"

refer to my mum as "my mum", "mum, or "ma maw".

dad calls my mum "mum" in front of me or "your mother". my dad calling my mum "mum" was very confusing when both of my grandmothers were alive as this could mean either my mum, his mum, or my mum's mum (who he also called mum) but is less confusing now there's only one mum left

If my dad was called an amazing name like Oscar I’d call him that too

come on everyone, the valence of kinship terms is unlikely to be very generalizable but it doesn't mean anyone is wrong, either

I’m not trying to be right, I’m no prescriptivist! I’m expressing my opinion based on my experience.

LL, I am so sorry about whatever was going on in your family of origin. I totally believe what you heard in the way your father spoke.

However, you went further than that, into "dads" generally - that if we don't just say "mom" then it means something (presumably something bad) about our relationships with our spouses and children.

Excuse me but you know exactly nothing about how well or poorly I get along with my wife and children, just because I want to use language that I think is accurate about the situation.

Can only hear 'yer mother' in the voice of Jarvis Cocker

Sorry that’s not what I meant please accept my apologies and exit from this conversation. My outburst is regrettable.

Happy to drop it as well, and again, LL, we're cool - I'm both (a) sorry for what you went through and (b) reluctant to agree that everyone using the same words uses them in the same hostile / demeaning way. So, okay I guess?

yes thank you <3

(i didn't mean to be harsh either, i just disagree!)

My actual answer for this thread, and I can’t be fucked scrolling back up, is “let me pick your brain”. Disgusting turn of phrase.

Ugh OTM

I still the worst was ....can't remember whom of you posted it in the other Apolitical COVID thread, but calling a 20% salary decrease a "haircut".

I still get mad when I think about it and it DIDN'T EVEN HAPPEN TO ME!!!

Whenever I hear 'let me pick your brain' I imagine chimpanzees delousing synapses.

I think of Trotsky. But then I often do.

in modern parlance you ask "what's on your mind-grapes?"

I do, yes

'mind if i stir your brain-slurry for a minute?'

let me pick yr nose for a minute

my parents refer to each other as "your dad" and "your mom" but they've been divorced nearly 40 years

"what I would say is..."
or worse
"what I would say to you is..."

favourites of vacuous public figures who like to sound smart and considered

see also "I put it to you that..."