Chicago: customers are advised to allow extra travel time

lol Nick is old

I was watching Jesus Lizard clips on YouTube the other day and David Yow told a funny joke:

There are two ovaries. One ovary says to the other, "Hey, did you order any furniture?" The other ovary says, "No, I didn't order any furniture, why do you ask?" And the first ovary says, "Because two nuts are pushing an organ up the stairs."

is it funnier when he tells it?

;)

Nick, where did you access your credit report? I tried Annualcreditreport.com but their identity verification questions were hard. They were along the lines of "In 2001 you borrowed money from the College Foundation. What was the amount of this loan" or "What was the name of the lender you borrowed from to purchase a car in 1999." While it's true that if any individual were to know these facts it would most likely be me, I have no fucking clue how to answer any of them.

Apparently you can write them a letter to request info, but I have yet to get around to doing that.

I have no factual basis for my suspicions (only paranoia), but I wonder if the 3 credit reporting agencies didn't influence how difficult it would be to answer these questions so that the consumer would be forced to pay them to see their reports.

I don't know, sarah sent me some link. I had questions too, but they were weird trick questions, asking about some mortage I supposedly took out. But I just put "none of the above" and that worked. THey probably jsut did that because I don't have much of a credit history.

That's the one I gave him, Jesse.

I had the exact same fake mortgage questions, but it still didn't work.

That's funny. Trick questions!

We're sorry, for your protection we are unable to deliver your FACT Act Equifax Free Annual Credit Report on the internet. There are a number of reasons that we may be unable to fulfill your request online. You may have a Security Freeze on your credit file, an Active Duty Military or Fraud Alert, or the identification information submitted online may not match the information on file.

try one of the other non-Equifax companies to get your score. there are three different comapnies i think

(oops. not score: report)

Can you download Flight of the conchords episodes on i-tunes?

TransUnion:

The Identity Security System confirms your identity through a series of questions based on accounts and personal information contained in your Personal Credit Report. The system was unable to get enough information from the Personal Credit Report to complete this process.

Experian:

We're sorry, we are unable to process your request.

I'm having a bit of trouble with Equifax too. Experian seems to be working. But last time I checked, all 3 had different info, so I definitely want all 3.

(yes you wanna get all three.)

the last time i pulled mine, i ran into the same kind of crap. maybe if you call them, i'm sure they have 1-800 numbers.

These are questions I can handle

According to your credit profile, you may have opened an auto loan in or around June 1999. Please select the lender for this account. If you do not have such an auto loan, select 'NONE OF THE ABOVE/DOES NOT APPLY'.

TOYOTA MOTOR CRED
VOLKSWAGEN CREDIT
BANK OF AMERICA
NISSAN MOTOR ACCEPTANCE
NONE OF THE ABOVE/DOES NOT APPLY

Please select the county for the address you provided.

GALLATIN
MONROE
COOK
EDWARDS
NONE OF THE ABOVE

According to our records, you may have resided or currently reside on one of the following streets. Please select your street name from the choices listed below.

MELROSE
MAYFLOWER
CORDOBA
PEACH
NONE OF THE ABOVE


According to our records, you currently own, or have owned within the past year, one of the following vehicles. Please select the vehicle that you purchased or leased prior to July 2007 from the following choices:

GMC PARISIENNE
BMW 3 SERIES
RENAULT R15
HONDA ACCORD
NONE OF THE ABOVE

Wow. My credit report is a nest of inaccuracies!! This is not going to be fun.

I closed a credit card because I got one with a way better rate and they marked it "Closed--60 days past due" even though they currently owe me a check for an overpayment. There are a few others that concern me.

Also there was a really old account that I know for sure charged off, but they marked it "Never late"--we'll just let that one ride! :)

I tried the first two companies on annualcreditreport. The verification on the first was tough because one question was the account # of my auto loan, but it was a longer # than actually shows up on my statement, and the other was "who was your employer for the time range shown", but the time range was "not listed"!

The second one was easier and funnier, with such questions like "YOU MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE LIVED ON ONE OF THESE STREETS AT ONE TIME, AMIRITE?"

Haha, YOU OWN BMW, YES?

Were they questions like I just posted, or were they really in Engrish?

They were the ones you posted, but that's how they sounded in my head.

I'll be damned if Bally's didn't run a credit report on me! That's weird, since I pay them monthly through my debit card. Well, at least my gym membership is building my credit while it builds my physique.

I hate that word, physique.

...building my credit as it builds my smooth, young, taut musculature.

physiquist

Yes, I'd like to apply for a loan?

How's your credit?

Smooth and taut.

You could always get your credit report the way I got mine, try to buy a house! Just kidding. I was always really nervous about seeing mine, but it turned out to be much better than I feared.

Yay! Equifax loves me at least. Straight "PAYS AS AGREED" for me there! Fuck you, Experian! Go see how much Equifax loves me!

It's TransUnion that's being a bitch.

a mentor doesn't have a "mentee", a mentor has a "protege".

Results 1 - 10 of about 847,000 for mentee
Main Entry: men·tee
Pronunciation: men-'tE
Function: noun
Etymology: mentor + -ee
: one who is being mentored : PROTEGE

also, an asshole doesn't have a job, he has a "very annoying habit of pointing out mistakes of others while totally glossing over his own mountain of failures".

xpost.

Ha. Well regardless, that's the term they use at my job.

Mentorship refers to a developmental relationship between a more experienced mentor and a less experienced partner referred to as a mentee or protégé -- a person guided and protected by a more prominent person.

See, I'm fucking prominent.

Ha. Well regardless, that's the term they use at my job.

it was the word i used when i wrote an article about a mentoring program one of the guys i worked with was involved with and everytime the article got passed around someone would say "protege, not mentee".

Mentee sounds like some kind of fucked up mint

whatever, sea cow

fuck a manatee. I'm a dugong man.

http://strawdog.files.wordpress.com/2006/09/dugong-feeding-at-the-seabed.jpg

aw hell yeah

sea slugs are pretty cool
http://www.neatorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/dragon-slug.jpg

that thing is gorgeous!!

primitive sea creatures are mad pretty

Or a transparent sea cucumber:
http://chekjawa.nus.edu.sg/ria/photos/r382.jpg

a GIS for "sea slug" is an explosion of color

Conan's "Horny Manatee" sketch is the last time I giggled uncontrollably at that show.

the dumbo octopus:

http://www.geekologie.com/2007/05/22/dumbo-octopus.jpg

that cucumber reminds me of the radish dude in spirited away.

omg! i want a dumbo octopus!!

My National Geographic Wildlife Treasury cards really stuck with me.