Donald Trump: Classic or Dud?

i DEEPLY wish that the phrase "and the time he got within 500 ft of karl malone, who immediately screamed 'FUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOUUU!!' at the top of his lungs before escaping down an alleyway while blasting an air horn" could be added to that sentence though

I wonder if his death will eventually be celebrated as a sort of unofficial national holiday, with impromptu fireworks, pinatas, parties ... like, Don't Be An Asshole Day.

Anyway, for fellow masochists:

https://www.c-span.org/video/?475971-1/trump-v-vance-oral-argument&live

he definitely seems like one of those people who is going to choose to cryogenically freeze his body rather than succumb to death

I don’t think he has given even one second of thought to his own death. It wouldn’t surprise me if he doesn’t have a will.

there's a song called "When Will You Die?" by They Might be Giants that, if it was released today, would immediately be assumed to be about Donald Trump

I'm so tired
Of your lies
And the evil things
You're doing behind my back

Are there crimes
That you have never committed?
I doubt it, sometimes I wonder
When will you die?

You're insane
You are bad
You wreck everything you touch
And you're a sociopath

But there's one thing
That everyone's wondering
When will you die?

I don’t think he has given even one second of thought to his own death.

lol, he probably has a dedicated team doing constant sweeps making sure a mysterious nerve agent doesn't get within 50 feet of him.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Novichok_agent#Instances_of_usage

that time that he had public servants beat up citizens and throw priests out of a church so he could do a photo op was technically an event honouring him by the time he walked outside I guess

I was wrestling with how to describe that, but then I knew I could count on good ol' Sic Flair to swing in with the realness.

these last few posts sure are interesting october 3 reading

There’s a Donald Trump episode of Sesame Street and 15 years later it’s pretty on the nose! pic.twitter.com/oaLjCf1AUZ

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) October 13, 2020

wait until he finds out about the 80s and 90s

I meant in pop culture generally too, but here's Sesame Street covering Trump as a slumlord claiming classiness in 1988. And some gross behind-the-scenes of Joe Pesci as Trump on the show in 1994, when they did the same plot as the end of Bloom County in 1989, Trump buying the whole thing and shutting it down.

your skin is like love to me, my barron

Trump on his son getting the coronavirus: "My Barron. My tall Barron. He's very tall. My beautiful Barron. Handsome. He is handsome. But my beautiful Barron had it. He recovered, like, so fast. I said, wait a minute: how long did that take?"

— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) October 15, 2020

His hard stop with interjectionary 'like's makes me. Like. Sick to my fucking stomach.

He sounds like Baron Harkonnen talking about Feyd.

     Rabban leaves just as Feyd steps out of the shower.
     The Baron turns to him lovingly.
--                            
                          BARON
                    (to Feyd)
               And when we've crushed these people enough
               I'll send in you Feyd... they'll cheer you
               as a rescuer... lovely Feyd... really a
               lovely boy.
                    (suddenly he smiles and screams)
               Where's my doctor?

Realized that I've never seen this guy laugh. Even someone like Nixon I've seen giving a hearty bellylaugh. He's so joyless.

Mary T's book lays out the why and how of all that really.

To be fair, Nixon was pretty drunk most of the time.

TS: gin vs. adderall

Trump tells Iowa MAGA crowd how angry he was to see the Iowa news talk about Iowa floods and problems with Iowa crops instead of his nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize (*anyone can be nominated). Even the MAGA audience is confused 🤷‍♀️ 🤷🏻‍♂️ pic.twitter.com/VSkAjCtkve

— Ben Meiselas (@meiselasb) October 15, 2020

It really is astounding that even 1% of the population would vote for this sentient shitstain

"I get home, I turn on the tellavision!" Why is he talking like Jerry Stiller?

He asked Melania if she knows what the Nobel Prize is?

darlin’

what's the opposite of a tight ten? a prolapsed term?

Hitler was actually nominated in 1939, so there's that.

"ya floods in Iowa"

That's one of the most "beyond parody" things I've seen from a guy with a lifetime of them. God he's so fucking clueless how shit like that comes across.

I'm sure he was just joking around tho, what a card

Realized that I've never seen this guy laugh. Even someone like Nixon I've seen giving a hearty bellylaugh. He's so joyless.

― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Thursday, October 15, 2020 1:21 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

The only time I've seen him laugh was at the Al Smith dinner in 2016

https://s1.ibtimes.com/sites/www.ibtimes.com/files/styles/lg/public/2016/10/21/clump-doinner.jpg

he's got that Kanye thing, hyper-aware when the cameras are on

reagan, too

I like the rakish angle of the cardinal's cap... he looks like a ceramic salt shaker.

Twitter Shuts Down Entire Network To Slow Spread Of Negative Biden News https://t.co/JPmjOrKPcr via @TheBabylonBee Wow, this has never been done in history. This includes his really bad interview last night. Why is Twitter doing this. Bringing more attention to Sleepy Joe & Big T

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 16, 2020

Trump owes $400+M to the wallet inspector

lol what an idiot

President Trump Declares The Babylon Bee His Most-Trusted News Source https://t.co/oObdxaH3w6

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) October 16, 2020

I wanted to say he's the dumbest human on earth but then I scrolled through the replies so let's just say that he and his supporters could be outsmarted by a not-particularly-bright dog and leave it at that.

Did he ever host a Fake News Awards? Just another promise broken ...

My favorite reply was a Trump supporter who literally used the phrase "4d chess"

It would have been better if the supporter had thought it was "forty chess"

Farty Chess.

farty jizz

I have regrets now

when the Babylon Bee is dunking on you...

I wanted to say he's the dumbest human on earth but then I scrolled through the replies so let's just say that he and his supporters could be outsmarted by a not-particularly-bright dog and leave it at that.

He's a dumb person's idea of a smart guy.

No, he's a dumb person's idea of a tough guy. Being smart is not exactly seen as a plus here.

'Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart.'

Did he ever host a Fake News Awards? Just another promise broken ...

― Josh in Chicago, Friday, October 16, 2020 7:39 AM (two hours ago)

he did.

for some reason i saved the entire thing (HTML, images, etc) on the day it happened