Real love -- I'm, like, searchin' for that Queer Love -- LGBTQIA+ Love // A Thread for the Real Ones

so I have had my own idea for YEARS that I have told several ppl abt and have gotten a good response to and I think I am going to finally finally try to pull it off next year, I think I have maybe even talked abt it on here somewhere, but the song is this v inexplicable house remix of "Rubberband Girl" and the performance is a complete ripoff of UNZIPPED (1995) where it will be a fashion show and there will be all sorts of zany chaos and hijinks backstage but w like perfect immaculate runway walks the second they come out from behind the curtain, the performance has nothing to do w the music but maybe I'll get some LIVESTRONG bracelets made and throw them into the crowd idk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KII-OXV86c

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFBc4rXKkTU

AERIAL is honestly the best Kate Bush album

also it is a bit $$$ (20 of them to be exact) but they are selling tickets for the livestream tomorrow night at 8:30! https://wl.seetickets.us/event/Night-of1000Kates/470113?afflky=UndergroundArts

stevie i still have that KB shirt you sent me! it's a lil snug on me atm but whenever i wear it ppl always ask about it

omg mine too is a lil snug, I forget which one I sent you but the one I have has her face on it and my belly makes it fold in half so that it makes her look like that one picture of Aphex Twin

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/da/Aphex_Twin_-_Syro_main_press_photo.jpg

you sent me the glow in the dark one (which amazingly still works after probably dozens of laundry cycles)

I just watched unzipped recently and it was so good. also did you know there's a sister documentary called catwalk that basically follows Christy Turlington all over the world?
pretty awful what's going on with Linda Evangelista. she just released the first body pics of her condition due to coolsculpting. unimaginable.

I was sad to miss Kates. Heard my friend Anna blew it outta the park, and saw the wacky inflatable Cathy and Heathcliff blow-up piece on film. Looked like a really fun time, but we had planned a dinner months ago with our gay friends, one of whom is going through a health scare...so it seemed more important to hang out with them.

I finished "Detransition, Baby," yesterday, and while I thought it ended much too quickly, I thought it had some really lovely moments.

hope your friend is hanging in there <3

xp y0ung?? she fuckin KILLED it (as per usual). I hope they post a recording of the livestream.

I've been listening to a lot of RuTH lately 🌄🌄🌄

yes Stevie, that Ann4

o boy what a life we lead really

so I'm not sure when the next time I'll "meet" someone is, let's call it, due to extenuating circumstances

do i care?

will i ever go out to a bar and pick someone up again? i had occasional game. all of a sudden I'd love to meet someone younger than me. i usually don't gravitate to that realm. i wonder what that's about

you will absolutely go out to a bar and pick someone up again, it is so inevitable

Date tonight. At a (rooftop) bar. I shoulda asked if he's jabbed.

first date? how did you meet? brown hair, big heart, bat eyelashes?

you know Stevie it's just at first it was pandemia, and then health stuff that's going to take another 6 months to settle. just didn't realize I'd be singing the same tune for the goddamn 3-year dark ages. but whatever i'm going to get so many beauty treatments when this is all through I plan on looking like Princess Jasmine meets Bella Hadid. mark my words.

also i quit smoking forever and it's truly something else. going on 6 months.

my new issue of BUTT just arrived!!!!!!!!!

omg i already read some of the poems
how is it at large?

is it large?

C'mon Simone, let's talk about your big "but."

I haven't read it yet bcz I got it at work and then *brag alert* went straight to my fuck buddy's house for a cute date and only just got home a few hours ago!!!

butts all around

butts rule everything around me

OK SO
I'm not a butt man and i keep feeling more and more alone
like American men are just obsessed with them
i feel like there's something wrong with me

Stevo you're killin it these days

don't care about the outside, it's what's inside that counts imo

like the way it feels?

yeah! i mean not to get too tmi or too cliche i guess but i just think anuses are this incredible part of us lol and i really like experiencing them.

So! My Saturday night date sold me out. I suspected trouble when I had to text him 15 mins before meeting: he was running late thanks to a "minor emergency" at his parents', whatever that means (what's a "minor" emergency?). Luckily a friend kept me company at the bar.

An hour later, date texts: "On my way, send location address plz?" That's the last I heard of him. For a while I thought he died -- until I saw a an Instagram post Sunday morning.

He's 24, a former student who emailed me four years after class to ask about getting a beer or coffee. On determining he was queer he gushed: he praised my self-assurance, brains, looks, etc. We might've met that night had I not plans already. It's worth noting I barely remember this kid in summer 2018.

I wonder if simply not showing up is a phenomenon of the young?

Anusii are a cliche?

that sucks. definitely hit next. it's been a phenomenon of the young and old as long as i've been dating tbh. xp

Yeah, I wanted to avoid generational generalization, but a few viejos noted The Vanishing has been more prevalent in the last four years.

I've ghosted more than my share, I should note.

I have never done this, to my knowledge?

me eiths it's dumb
I'm too polite though

wassup homieslice

good morning!

Mornin' sunshine!
What's on the platter?

I'm vegetarian tonight.

sexually or culinarily?

Lady Bracknell : Well, both, if necessary, I presume!

So, I’m in one of the only two gay bars in Marbella (southern coast of Spain) right now, and the thing here is that high heeled shoes are passed around, everyone tries them on, and then they take their turn swishing down what passes for a catwalk. Pleased to report that my boy got the loudest applause of the night. We make our own entertainment.

The bar is filling up because at 4am they close the doors, bring out the ashtrays, and everyone can smoke indoors.

We will be back tomorrow for drag queen bingo.

omgggggg jealous

Oh I forgot to mention the seventy something naked woman who did her catwalk turn clutching a large stuffed teddy bear.

stop

jealz to the max

Just ended a fabulous evening with j0rdan.

yesss. what did y'all do?

we went to a sports bar so i could watch basketball while we talked about madonna

...and Mariah Carey. And my terrible non-date last week.

I was single from September 2016 to March 2017. That's about it though.

am I the only regular contributor to this thread still single?

― hungover beet poo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn)

i'm occupying the "it's complicated" zone, in that i genuinely don't know what "single" or "partnered" means.

i'm basically constitutionally incapable of being single

yeah my 20-years-long conception of what a relationship should be is being unwrapped. it started by opening things up with my primary partner, and now i'm basically starting to "get" polyamory. it's really cool to have it all be good and real - for a long time i was scared by polyamory or thought it was some fake-out bs - but i feel more secure and ok-within-myself than ever, not needing nearly as many relationship attachments and obligations. it's interesting to be in that place and be experiencing new relationship energy. i can say i love the guy without needing that to mean anything beyond a shared feeling. ten years ago it would have been like - i love you therefore we must live together. it's taken a long time to unlearn all of that.

in all honestly i'm still learning about how much "gay friend / hook-up / sex party" social time i need in my life. i had a weekend (last weekend) with a lot more of that than usual. birthday dinner with friends, sex party, workout and hook-up with muscle guy the next day, plus saying goodbye to my partner for a week away (and having goodbye sex). i felt like i was stretching myself, but at the end of it i had a full and satisfied feeling.

i've been a fairly strong introvert and lone wolf my whole life, so it feels comfortable to go for days without seeing friends. but, say, after 3-4 days of it i start getting bored, lonely and restless.

what would really be awesome is a running buddy or two. i saw something about a men's group meet-up near me. i need to be more proactive about checking some of these things out. they don't have to stick, i just have to keep trying. i think they're less something i dread now and more like "this will be interesting / an adventure" than they used to be. still a lot of "utah culture" crap to wade through though, i can't help but feel like i'd have a better chance at connecting somewhere a little less fascist-fucked.

alfred i am more or less permasingle. not by choice really but definitely by default at this point

any other working stiffs with a long weekend have plans for labor day? i was this close to hauling ass down to the desert but i opted to take it easy at home instead.

i'm occupying the "it's complicated" zone, in that i genuinely don't know what "single" or "partnered" means.

― Kate (rushomancy),

"I am not seeing any man regularly."

z_tbd! did I miss you here as a contributor?!

No plans for Labour Day, I work and work, but I am going to a sugo-making party tomorrow followed by a pizza party. I've been sternly instructed that I'm invited to observe and not to contribute, with regards to the making of the sugo.

I play to meet a couple new film critics at the gay bar for midafternoon drinks, then my buddy, the chair of Florida Film Critics, will help screen a 16mm print of Eisenstein's Strike. Appropriate!

that sounds cool!

so does sugo making 😋

i'm going to the nude beach on sunday

jelly

i am always astounded by how huge some flaccid dicks are, like you think you might be immune to it but no there really are some absolutely giant soft penises out there

what kind of sugo??

might be a not-nude beach day tomorrow, it’s finally getting hot here. gay bar parking lot party is sunday.

oh and an update: i did end up “networking” with the guy from my last post, a couple hours before i had to give my presentation lol. we used his hotel room. wild to have had a 13-year window between hookups with someone! it was exquisite tbh

i am always astounded by how huge some flaccid dicks are, like you think you might be immune to it but no there really are some absolutely giant soft penises out there

― slob wizard (J0rdan S.), Friday, August 29, 2025 3:58 PM

a new meaning to Labor Day

z_tbd! did I miss you here as a contributor?!

i’m not sure how people do it these days but i made a little instagram story a few days where i was like “oh i’m queer, haven’t mentioned that!”. last year when i entered therapy there were about 40 gender options and nothing felt right, and my last few partners have all been trans, including people who transitioned while i was with them. i’m dating someone now who was like “btw if you’re straight we’re not dating”, and it was one of the first times, i guess the first, where i said “i’m not straight” out loud and it was fine. the next day i talked to a good friend of mine about things at length, including how to go about telling people, or whether i should. they seemed so happy that i was telling them (it was the first conversation i’ve had like that with a friend), and it just made me want to go ahead and put it out there as a 24 hour thing and just carry on

wild to have had a 13-year window between hookups with someone! it was exquisite tbh

awwww i looove hearing these kinds of stories!

z_tbd! a warm welcome from the queer thread to the wild world of non-straight bs!

errrr the straight stuff is bullshit, not the non-straight stuff

and really i should have said "wide" not "wild" though it is both

i am always astounded by how huge some flaccid dicks are, like you think you might be immune to it but no there really are some absolutely giant soft penises out there

― slob wizard (J0rdan S.), Friday, August 29, 2025 8:58 PM (forty-four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

i'd watch, like, flop-fight porn lol

Warm welcome, z! I raise mummy Aviation Royale to you.

"I am not seeing any man regularly."

― hungover beet poo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn)

oh well in that case i'm _definitely_ single lol

it's the "regular" thing that's the issue. much as i try to lead a regular life, it doesn't take. i can't seem to establish routine with other people, beyond the two platonic friends i have coffee with every week - certainly not the girl i'm seeing lately. shit's beyond her control. everything is catch-as-catch-can.

the main thing for me is cuddling. my girlfriend was able to come up today for a half hour and we didn't talk, just cuddled. there are so many other things we'd like to do together but there isn't time.

yeah my 20-years-long conception of what a relationship should be is being unwrapped. it started by opening things up with my primary partner, and now i'm basically starting to "get" polyamory. it's really cool to have it all be good and real - for a long time i was scared by polyamory or thought it was some fake-out bs - but i feel more secure and ok-within-myself than ever, not needing nearly as many relationship attachments and obligations. it's interesting to be in that place and be experiencing new relationship energy. i can say i love the guy without needing that to mean anything beyond a shared feeling. ten years ago it would have been like - i love you therefore we must live together. it's taken a long time to unlearn all of that.

― she freaks, she speaks (map)

for me "polyamory" is a question of "am i getting my needs met?" my ex-wife felt like she needed to be my everything, and that was fairly disastrous. i'm a complicated person and i don't think it's reasonably to expect one person to meet all my needs. i don't think i have the time or the energy for more than one romantic partner in my life, but intimacy? sure, i can theoretically be in intimate relationships with a number of different people at once. the problem is just getting any of us to go outside and touch grass.

i am always astounded by how huge some flaccid dicks are, like you think you might be immune to it but no there really are some absolutely giant soft penises out there

― slob wizard (J0rdan S.)

oh yes, i have considerable experience with soft penises (estrogen will do that) and they are wonderful. it's kind of a meme among some transfems to talk about what natalie wynn called the "mouthfeel". i like girls and i like sucking dick and i'm lucky enough to be in an environment where there's no contradiction between those two things.

finally WELCOME z_tbd, :tada:

I learned a few minutes ago that this bartender I hooked up in April (and called it off because he was "confused") spent the week in santeria ceremonies confirming him as one of their own.

that is hot xp and that is interesting! i feel like religion is kind of in the air lately. we get lds missionaries who roam our trailer park occasionally. twice they've knocked on our door. i let j handle it. he's kind but very firm - 'don't come back.' of course they came back, the sisters this time. the senior one had the audacity to say 'you are a son of god' to j. and he was like 'let me tell you something about god, first of all you know nothing about it' and went off a little :).

something about a reaction to a post of mine bothered me, so i’m just going to say it:
i know the butthole isn’t everything— this is obvious— but it’s important to me. i was quite literally a power bottom for years. i have grown to accept my diminished body and range of options in terms of pleasure, but in the realm of hook-ups and sex parties and whatever, it sort of ruins the mood to say, “sorry i had cancer so i don’t have a butthole and we can’t do that.” because the thing is that even though i have always had a latent top side, i have bottom energy, and i can’t really change that tbh.

so yeah, the butthole is overrated and doesn’t mean everything, but it does mean a lot to many men, myself included, and my sexual possibilities are lesser because of this.

not scolding, fwiw, just trying to explain my feelings and frustration.

it would be easier if i had an enormous cock and could find bottoms to hop on it, but alas, i am merely average in that department, and i get asked constantly to bottom on apps etc, even when i literally spell out how my body is different in my profile.

i'm sorry tabes :(

i'm glad you explained a little more. mourning it with you.

thanks map, for your kindness and understanding

you deserve both! you're a wonderful person. i was afraid of feeling in that moment. i wish i could give you a big hug :)

thanks for saying that tabes. whether or not other people feel the same way about their bodies, it's really clear that it was important to you, and losing part of your life that was important to you, for reasons beyond your control, is really painful and does deserve to be grieved.

Idk where else to post this, but I’m drinking coffee and delighting myself in thinking about all the different English words that begin and end with ‘P’ syllables and their diversity of meanings that somehow makes a beautiful salad:

Pap, pape, pop, poop, pup, pep, pip, pipe, pope…

So many dirty one-syllable words that begin and end with the same syllable: poop, tit, boob, cock, rear, mime…

thanks for saying that tabes. whether or not other people feel the same way about their bodies, it's really clear that it was important to you, and losing part of your life that was important to you, for reasons beyond your control, is really painful and does deserve to be grieved.

thanks kate. also i hope recent comments on other threads about the length of your posts wasn’t taken as negative— i tend to like and agree with your posts, even if i gloss over them at times— but just an observation.

i didn't take it that way at all! i know you well enough to know that any criticism you offer is constructive and in good faith, and i took it seriously in that vein. what i've decided for now is that i do find value in writing long posts, and others do find value in reading them, so i'll continue to go on at length when i feel it's appropriate. however, if something starts getting away from me, i've started putting it behind a spoiler cut. we'll see how it works out :)

:-)