Real love -- I'm, like, searchin' for that Queer Love -- LGBTQIA+ Love // A Thread for the Real Ones

hope your friend is hanging in there <3

xp y0ung?? she fuckin KILLED it (as per usual). I hope they post a recording of the livestream.

I've been listening to a lot of RuTH lately 🌄🌄🌄

yes Stevie, that Ann4

o boy what a life we lead really

so I'm not sure when the next time I'll "meet" someone is, let's call it, due to extenuating circumstances

do i care?

will i ever go out to a bar and pick someone up again? i had occasional game. all of a sudden I'd love to meet someone younger than me. i usually don't gravitate to that realm. i wonder what that's about

you will absolutely go out to a bar and pick someone up again, it is so inevitable

Date tonight. At a (rooftop) bar. I shoulda asked if he's jabbed.

first date? how did you meet? brown hair, big heart, bat eyelashes?

you know Stevie it's just at first it was pandemia, and then health stuff that's going to take another 6 months to settle. just didn't realize I'd be singing the same tune for the goddamn 3-year dark ages. but whatever i'm going to get so many beauty treatments when this is all through I plan on looking like Princess Jasmine meets Bella Hadid. mark my words.

also i quit smoking forever and it's truly something else. going on 6 months.

my new issue of BUTT just arrived!!!!!!!!!

omg i already read some of the poems
how is it at large?

is it large?

C'mon Simone, let's talk about your big "but."

I haven't read it yet bcz I got it at work and then *brag alert* went straight to my fuck buddy's house for a cute date and only just got home a few hours ago!!!

butts all around

butts rule everything around me

OK SO
I'm not a butt man and i keep feeling more and more alone
like American men are just obsessed with them
i feel like there's something wrong with me

Stevo you're killin it these days

don't care about the outside, it's what's inside that counts imo

like the way it feels?

yeah! i mean not to get too tmi or too cliche i guess but i just think anuses are this incredible part of us lol and i really like experiencing them.

So! My Saturday night date sold me out. I suspected trouble when I had to text him 15 mins before meeting: he was running late thanks to a "minor emergency" at his parents', whatever that means (what's a "minor" emergency?). Luckily a friend kept me company at the bar.

An hour later, date texts: "On my way, send location address plz?" That's the last I heard of him. For a while I thought he died -- until I saw a an Instagram post Sunday morning.

He's 24, a former student who emailed me four years after class to ask about getting a beer or coffee. On determining he was queer he gushed: he praised my self-assurance, brains, looks, etc. We might've met that night had I not plans already. It's worth noting I barely remember this kid in summer 2018.

I wonder if simply not showing up is a phenomenon of the young?

Anusii are a cliche?

that sucks. definitely hit next. it's been a phenomenon of the young and old as long as i've been dating tbh. xp

Yeah, I wanted to avoid generational generalization, but a few viejos noted The Vanishing has been more prevalent in the last four years.

I've ghosted more than my share, I should note.

I have never done this, to my knowledge?

me eiths it's dumb
I'm too polite though

wassup homieslice

good morning!

Mornin' sunshine!
What's on the platter?

I'm vegetarian tonight.

sexually or culinarily?

Lady Bracknell : Well, both, if necessary, I presume!

So, I’m in one of the only two gay bars in Marbella (southern coast of Spain) right now, and the thing here is that high heeled shoes are passed around, everyone tries them on, and then they take their turn swishing down what passes for a catwalk. Pleased to report that my boy got the loudest applause of the night. We make our own entertainment.

The bar is filling up because at 4am they close the doors, bring out the ashtrays, and everyone can smoke indoors.

We will be back tomorrow for drag queen bingo.

omgggggg jealous

Oh I forgot to mention the seventy something naked woman who did her catwalk turn clutching a large stuffed teddy bear.

stop

jealz to the max

Just ended a fabulous evening with j0rdan.

yesss. what did y'all do?

we went to a sports bar so i could watch basketball while we talked about madonna

...and Mariah Carey. And my terrible non-date last week.

ok well that sounds ideal (sorry for the delay how the hell do three days go by?!)

you know i saw Madonna's Mme X tour
she could still put on a show, i just wonder if it isn't time for her to maybe think about doing something else

we had dinner with Stevie last night!! and then he came back to our place and we plied him with amaro and we talked about sheryl crow and natalie merchant and celine dion and it was just a total delight <3

Amaro! Sheryl Crow! Sounds like my kind of night.

sounds like a blast

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHxbxAQSQMM

uhhhhhh i had no idea wallace shawn was in a chaka khan video lol

he's in everything!
also I'm pretty sure I've had that night before lol so fun xp ❤️

i honestly only know pia zadora from "santa claus conquers the martians"

i can confirm that "santa claus conquers the martians" is excruciating

she was in a movie with orson welles, butterfly! and controversially won a golden globe for it, i just learned. first read about it in john waters’ crackpot i think. it’s not very good :(

As I recall, the Anne Frank "she's in the attic!" urban myth began with Pia Zadora.

table’s IG was just recommended for me to follow on my morning scroll— how ever do these apps track us so well? Is it noticing that I follow some other ILXors or has Meta followed me here?

It’s building a web of likely contacts based on:

- who you follow
- who your followers follow
- who you’re linked to on Facebook
- who your Facebook friends are linked to
- who you’re connected to on any other Meta application
- who is in your contact info

I’m not mad about it.

My old and unused Facebook account still sends me “HEY IS THIS PERSON YOUR FRIEND??” e-mails every few days and invariably it’ll be one of the ten people I’ve blocked on my current Facebook account. That makes me mad. I don’t want to be reminded of those people!

Facebook has recently been asking me if I want to send a friend request to an opera singer/classical soloist who was recently murdered by his son. I file that under “not great”

Why do you want to remove this suggestion?

It is irrelevant to me.
Something is wrong.
Patricide.

That sucks :(

it's super awful.

i am sorry for the .. err violent shift in subject matter but i just got a notification that the only piece of "sexy underwear" i've coveted in recent memory is back in stock, this bike "vintage lace-up jock" jawn. it's a little overpriced but i just ordered anyway. i'll probably be disappointed but what good is a gay life without ordering useless underwear based on photos featuring models that are decidedly not you, well into old age??

I have accepted and followed back ;-)

i'm starting to see a zoomer fashion thing at the gym that i like. i've only seen a few guys who can pull it off. 70s wayne gretzky in the hair and build. sweat pants and sweat shirt match, are full-sized and not too baggy. white crew t underneath.

mostly i see a-shirts, ballooning joggers and mop tops on the young ones. i actually had a bit of triggered teenage social anxiety at the sight of some kid in jnco-equivalent pants the other day. like he could have been teleported straight out of my jr high school hallway ca. 1994.

millenial gay guys seem to have all passed around a memo 5-10 years ago that light-colored shorts (mint green, rusty faded orange, light blue-grey) and a black top is the gym uniform. a popular cutaway top among that crowd is made by "neleus" - go figure.

my gym uniform tends to be “whatever t-shirt I wore to bed the night before” and sweatpants (winter) or black shorts (summer)

i support that. i'll admit to caring more about my gym outfits than my work outfits. it's a little bit of a fantasy space for me. i have many gym clothes. sometimes i lay them out the night before an early morning. i settled on "military-adjacent crossfit tough guy" 8 years ago, and i'm still the reigning "shortest shorts in the gym" title holder with the ranger panties 🩳 🏆. it's feeling a little played out and not representative of who i am though. i wish i could graduate to a fur cape and a loin cloth - only slightly kidding. garish knowing 80s-inspired stuff doesn't appeal to me. i never liked bodybuilder fashion anyway. i'm into outfits that say "i compete in a sport or do a physical thing other than this". fight shorts. jiu jitsu tights. football jerseys. i wish singlets were more acceptable. they're very sensible for the activity! and they're obviously the hottest.

i don't watch football and don't plan to anytime soon BUT i do follow the "sports beefcake" group on facebook, which is basically the same thing right? i'm amazed at how many full-relief cocks and balls are visible in bright daylight under lycra, no underwear these days. it's a pain in the ass to find porn online anymore but dicks are proudly displayed on every football field in the country.

i don’t have the Gretzky cut but i rock full monochrome sweatsuits pretty regularly. i own more sweatpants than i do jeans or slacks, and i don’t foresee that changing anytime soon.

my gym outfit tends to be cut off tee and shorts or sweats, depending on the season.

i have a pink Sergio Tacchini tracksuit that i wear whenever i DJ at the italian club lol

ha, i have a faded baby pink sweatsuit i pull out on special occasions!

i should get a tracksuit. archival 60s-70s coach attire would be pretty sweet.

I think tracksuits and sweatsuits look silly in all circumstances, my whole life I’ve been internally laughing at the chav look like “you’re pretending to be hard but you look like a ridiculous clown”

“Looking silly” isn’t always a bad thing, I’m not knocking it

Given my size and physique I'd look like young Timmy Chalamet playing dress-up.

hot. gotta complete it with a gold cross necklace.

I can’t see that— young Jean Reno tho most definitely

i feel some elements of “degrowth” is also eco-fash adjacent.

I think tracksuits and sweatsuits look silly in all circumstances, my whole life I’ve been internally laughing at the chav look like “you’re pretending to be hard but you look like a ridiculous clown”

“Looking silly” isn’t always a bad thing, I’m not knocking it

that’s funny, i think wearing clothing that is uncomfortable (jeans, slacks of any sort, most pants that aren’t sweats) looks silly.

but is it eco fash too?? don't leave me hanging

i kid i kid

That’s so interesting— I find jeans to be extremely comfortable, and slacks to be sharp-looking enough to be worth the slight degradation in comfort level. I only wear sweat pants to the gym or on weekend mornings and I always feel like I’m in pajamas when I do so

As I've gotten older I've gotten used to wearing shorts, like, everywhere.

i support that. i'll admit to caring more about my gym outfits than my work outfits. it's a little bit of a fantasy space for me. i have many gym clothes. sometimes i lay them out the night before an early morning. i settled on "military-adjacent crossfit tough guy" 8 years ago, and i'm still the reigning "shortest shorts in the gym" title holder with the ranger panties 🩳 🏆. it's feeling a little played out and not representative of who i am though. i wish i could graduate to a fur cape and a loin cloth - only slightly kidding. garish knowing 80s-inspired stuff doesn't appeal to me. i never liked bodybuilder fashion anyway. i'm into outfits that say "i compete in a sport or do a physical thing other than this". fight shorts. jiu jitsu tights. football jerseys. i wish singlets were more acceptable. they're very sensible for the activity! and they're obviously the hottest.

i don't watch football and don't plan to anytime soon BUT i do follow the "sports beefcake" group on facebook, which is basically the same thing right? i'm amazed at how many full-relief cocks and balls are visible in bright daylight under lycra, no underwear these days. it's a pain in the ass to find porn online anymore but dicks are proudly displayed on every football field in the country.

― map, Thursday, January 22, 2026 5:14 PM (yesterday)

i fucking love your fashion sense

one of the things that challenges me as a lesbian is the notion of making myself into an object of desire. it might seem weird but seeing your love for doing that as a gay man feels validating, gives me confidence. sexuality is complicated and all that and i am genuinely attracted towards men.

i think a little bit about the old "fag hag" stereotype. and i find it interesting because i'm kind of half fag and half fag hag. i like queer guys cuz they can do things, feel things, experience things, that straight men are shamed out of admitting or embodying. queer guys can make themselves into objects of desire. i've been reading a lot about heteropessimism lately - talia bhatt's takes on substack and just this morning i was watching avelo's video on "why we love hot evil men" - avelo refers to herself as a "former gay man". a lot of heteropessimism, for me, is understanding that a lot of what attracts me to men... isn't something heterosexual men are _allowed_ to express under patriarchy.

in other news my phone has been out all fucking week :(

That’s so interesting— I find jeans to be extremely comfortable, and slacks to be sharp-looking enough to be worth the slight degradation in comfort level. I only wear sweat pants to the gym or on weekend mornings and I always feel like I’m in pajamas when I do so

different strokes!

i have also resented having to wear anything for the sake of “decorum” or “propriety” for most of my life, so it sort of tracks that i am a 41 year old who prefers sweats but isn’t a slob about it

it might seem weird but seeing your love for doing that as a gay man feels validating, gives me confidence

this makes me happy to hear :). and it makes me want to keep doing it. i really appreciate the affirmation. i think that masculinity removed from a lotta rules and prescriptions (patriarchy, capitalism) becomes more like a flavor that exists in a balance with all of the other flavors a person can take on. i like to .. accentuate and celebrate the masculine but i think it can cross a line pretty easily into "forcing it". so much depends on motivations. it's subtle but can be kind of dramatic i think, why people are gendering, if the "why" is clouded with a lot of pain or disconnection. i'm trying to give a lot of .. charity towards myself when it comes to all my "gender stuff" haha.

i won a harness at drag bingo this week, my lesbian friend had to demonstrate to me how to put it on correctly lol. i am almost certainly never going to wear it in any context but nice to have just in case i guess

i'm currently harnessless but i have a vest, an arm band and some wrist bands and a hat as far as leather goes. a few years ago i spent way too much money on some horse leather wesco engineer boots. all this plus a jock = my outfit at the monthly sex party. i like having a reason to wear it all.