Real love -- I'm, like, searchin' for that Queer Love -- LGBTQIA+ Love // A Thread for the Real Ones

omg i already read some of the poems
how is it at large?

is it large?

C'mon Simone, let's talk about your big "but."

I haven't read it yet bcz I got it at work and then *brag alert* went straight to my fuck buddy's house for a cute date and only just got home a few hours ago!!!

butts all around

butts rule everything around me

OK SO
I'm not a butt man and i keep feeling more and more alone
like American men are just obsessed with them
i feel like there's something wrong with me

Stevo you're killin it these days

don't care about the outside, it's what's inside that counts imo

like the way it feels?

yeah! i mean not to get too tmi or too cliche i guess but i just think anuses are this incredible part of us lol and i really like experiencing them.

So! My Saturday night date sold me out. I suspected trouble when I had to text him 15 mins before meeting: he was running late thanks to a "minor emergency" at his parents', whatever that means (what's a "minor" emergency?). Luckily a friend kept me company at the bar.

An hour later, date texts: "On my way, send location address plz?" That's the last I heard of him. For a while I thought he died -- until I saw a an Instagram post Sunday morning.

He's 24, a former student who emailed me four years after class to ask about getting a beer or coffee. On determining he was queer he gushed: he praised my self-assurance, brains, looks, etc. We might've met that night had I not plans already. It's worth noting I barely remember this kid in summer 2018.

I wonder if simply not showing up is a phenomenon of the young?

Anusii are a cliche?

that sucks. definitely hit next. it's been a phenomenon of the young and old as long as i've been dating tbh. xp

Yeah, I wanted to avoid generational generalization, but a few viejos noted The Vanishing has been more prevalent in the last four years.

I've ghosted more than my share, I should note.

I have never done this, to my knowledge?

me eiths it's dumb
I'm too polite though

wassup homieslice

good morning!

Mornin' sunshine!
What's on the platter?

I'm vegetarian tonight.

sexually or culinarily?

Lady Bracknell : Well, both, if necessary, I presume!

So, I’m in one of the only two gay bars in Marbella (southern coast of Spain) right now, and the thing here is that high heeled shoes are passed around, everyone tries them on, and then they take their turn swishing down what passes for a catwalk. Pleased to report that my boy got the loudest applause of the night. We make our own entertainment.

The bar is filling up because at 4am they close the doors, bring out the ashtrays, and everyone can smoke indoors.

We will be back tomorrow for drag queen bingo.

omgggggg jealous

Oh I forgot to mention the seventy something naked woman who did her catwalk turn clutching a large stuffed teddy bear.

stop

jealz to the max

Just ended a fabulous evening with j0rdan.

yesss. what did y'all do?

we went to a sports bar so i could watch basketball while we talked about madonna

...and Mariah Carey. And my terrible non-date last week.

ok well that sounds ideal (sorry for the delay how the hell do three days go by?!)

you know i saw Madonna's Mme X tour
she could still put on a show, i just wonder if it isn't time for her to maybe think about doing something else

we had dinner with Stevie last night!! and then he came back to our place and we plied him with amaro and we talked about sheryl crow and natalie merchant and celine dion and it was just a total delight <3

Amaro! Sheryl Crow! Sounds like my kind of night.

sounds like a blast

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHxbxAQSQMM

uhhhhhh i had no idea wallace shawn was in a chaka khan video lol

he's in everything!
also I'm pretty sure I've had that night before lol so fun xp ❤️

wassup docs
it's eighty goddamn degrees here today
too soon yo

lovely haiku

it's only about 70 here. we've had some random bursts of heat over the past few weeks though.

next week i will be in seattle, where it's gonna be 50 and rainy no doubt. i forget, are any of y'all based there? would love recs on things and places to do/see/eat/drink there!

Wish I had more Recs than go to PONY and the gay Karaoke bar on Cap Hill, and also you simply must visit the main public library, it is everything a public library should be imho

85 degrees already

omg I've always wanted to go to Seattle

i used to love working in the library in college. I would sit in the stacks in the basement, or the art stacks which were the super cool ones. but I had no place there TBH

I miss my college library all the time.

The cops caught the arsonist of the queer bar in Bushwick. Scary story of what happened.

Not gonna lie, my queer friends, but I really am getting a lot more worried about some things, like whether my marriage will be recognized in a few years.

wait i didn't hear about the bar. deets? how did i miss that. was reading an article about a gay couple last night just filed a precedent setting suit RE being denied infertility coverage for IVF. glad for the action.

so just now i'm served an ad on facebook for customized wrestling singlets that's just an image of hairy pecs bulging out of spandex (the co is t4ked0wn sp0rtswe4r, in case you want to google it and have the ads follow you around everywhere). and i notice that it has likes and loves. so i click on the loves because i have a premonition. about ten gentlemen come up, and i open each in a new tab, and am beguiled by ten miniature portraits of gay american men.

I may be reading too much into it, but the Return of the Mullet feels reactionary to me--like, a certain type of masculinity's clap-back against the 'feminization' of men. If queer men are appropriating it, cool--but it's still ugly.

― cryptosicko, Saturday, August 2, 2025 5:37 PM (six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

haha, see, it isn't masculine enough for me. it's masc lite. and lesbians already co-opted it ten years ago! if you're gonna get a perm, grow that shit out to shoulder length and go full david lee roth imo. come on, you aren't showing me you have any balls unless you're unhireable lol.

broccoli hair:

https://preview.redd.it/how-do-kids-get-the-broccoli-haircut-v0-hbyp2hepg5je1.jpeg?width=1080&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=c6de3aee69c5d7795180ab855beed9cb2270f2b9

Looks silly but what do I know--I'm old.

the thing is that some people just… have that kind of hair?

like, i have fine, straight hair, and it looks best when it is done in a style that was very popular with Richard Spencer and other assorted Nazis a few years ago.

just sort of seems bizarre to hold immutable features against people

Mullets, man buns, pony tails and long hair in general are absolute 100% turn-offs for me. Keep it short and neat!

to table’s point, i feel a lot of resentment towards all the youngsters with perms, having grown up at a time when boys were shamed for curly hair. as i recall, this was the subject of an *entire episode* of 'boy meets world’, a show that contrasted the irresistible magnetism of rider strong’s hair flip with ben savage’s “brillo head” as a running gag. it wasn’t exactly subtle!
broccoli hair belongs to the naturally curly, i say.

i have curly hair! i don't mind curly hair. it's getting a perm that squicks me out. some of these kids are def getting perms. but honestly it's nbd.

I love curly hair! I was reacting to the style in the photo.

haha. it looks silly to me too. and i'm also old.

Oddly the biggest and most intense move of my life! Tomorrow is D-Day, I’m filling a U-Haul and a. Dropping off two dressers for one friend, b. Dropping off a chest freezer, an Expedit and some flood flooring for another friend, c. A credenza and two crappy bookcases to Habitat, d. A pile of old test pressings and nostalgia-garbage to the dump, e. Storing a bed and a mattress and a desk and another dresser and a a television for my niece when she starts her third year in September, f. Storing my merch cache in my manager’s basement along with a Juno-106 for him as a treat, g. Returning the U-Haul and packing my studio and finer instruments into the back of my car and hauling to the west end to toast my departure with my west end friends, h. Planning to enjoy my “last breakfast preference” (soft scrambled eggs garnished with Maggi sauce) with my buddy who is hosting me and then hauling ass as the sun comes up

damn what a marathon. best to you! i'd be dunzo at two of those tbh.

i was just thinking of reviving this thread to note that our (ex) third sent us a lovely check-in message today. exchanging messages about once a month feels like a nice rhythm and i'm proud of him and happy that he's staying in touch. miss him and still love him tbh.

dunzo at two of those otm

i’ve been dying to move out of the city for ever and it was looking like yeah this is about to finally happen and now i don’t know, the new situation feels too risky and too restrictive. i am really suffocating here but i’m too depressed to feel desperate.

i got a nice message from a former bandmate today. it’s nice hearing from people out of the blue, it’s pleasantly disruptive. once a month seems like a nice interval for setting up that kind of disruption.

backing up a bit, i wanna talk about mullets. the thing that annoys me about the grown-out textured fauxhawk with aggressive taper, “modern” mullet is they look way too edgy and stylish.
the whole thing about the mullets kids had in 30 years ago is they were basically really dorky, awkwardly conservative haircuts except for the beautiful flow in the back. a mullet is supposed to make you look like a dweeb. it shouldn’t be too cool. i think the kids who wear that style now are claiming a daring abdication of style but doing the opposite. business up front or gtfo.

you know it's a good day when you finish sucking someone off and she says "well, that settles it, i'm keeping it"

niiiiiiiice

powerful!

had a cute fella over for a dalliance the other day, he came over early (8:30!). i bought donuts and made him some coffee. then we made out and got naked and played with each other’s feet a bunch. he left before 11. fun stuff!

A novel knockback on Saturday night, from someone I’d met and flirted with before: “I really fancy you, I think you’re gorgeous, but I’m not your type, and you don’t fancy me enough”.

Dude from Feeld wants to get together to j/o. He’s taking it slow because he just got burned by another person who, like me, is partnered. I am cool with it!!

loving all this tomfoolery.

i spent a few hours in bed with muscle worship hookup last weekend. i promptly stepped on and broke my glasses within the first five minutes but resolved to keep the mood up. it was fun but the guy is pretty closed off beyond the muscle worship thing and i feel like i've gotten as far as i'm going to get as far as a connection goes, so i've cooled on it. we made tentative plans to work out and get naked afterward but idk i'm busy lol, just not feeling a spark here.

yes i love all the hot stuff happening. closest i've gotten is asking my ex to kiss me (she wants to, she isn't quite ready, and that's ok, we're in uncharted territory with each other here)

i've never heard anyone talk about MDRs before. medium distance relationship. idk maybe it's not a thing. maybe it's just me. being into someone and only getting to see them every couple of weeks and wanting to do things with them in-person other than sex. but also, like... i just haven't really been able to talk about my sexual desires with past partners. it was a little bit them, and a little bit me, like the monkees song goes.

it's just like... living the semblance of a normal life has been hard for me since i left my ex. today i get up and i just cannot motivate myself to do laundry. like. cannot. all i can think about is how horny i am. i don't actually know how it works, but i told her i was super horny for her and suddenly i was able to do my laundry. is that normal?

the other thing is that we're not necessarily kink-compatible and she's totally ok with me getting with other people and now i'm just, like... fuck, i still have to find someone i trust and who i'm kink-compatible with. i mean i'm better off for being in a relationship-ish, it helps. and i don't need to rush. except for the fact that i'm extremely thirsty...

j. and i were joking about funyun-flavored lube. "why does this hole taste so deliciously crunchy?" "dead lice." <3 you're welcome.