Real love -- I'm, like, searchin' for that Queer Love -- LGBTQIA+ Love // A Thread for the Real Ones

So! My Saturday night date sold me out. I suspected trouble when I had to text him 15 mins before meeting: he was running late thanks to a "minor emergency" at his parents', whatever that means (what's a "minor" emergency?). Luckily a friend kept me company at the bar.

An hour later, date texts: "On my way, send location address plz?" That's the last I heard of him. For a while I thought he died -- until I saw a an Instagram post Sunday morning.

He's 24, a former student who emailed me four years after class to ask about getting a beer or coffee. On determining he was queer he gushed: he praised my self-assurance, brains, looks, etc. We might've met that night had I not plans already. It's worth noting I barely remember this kid in summer 2018.

I wonder if simply not showing up is a phenomenon of the young?

Anusii are a cliche?

that sucks. definitely hit next. it's been a phenomenon of the young and old as long as i've been dating tbh. xp

Yeah, I wanted to avoid generational generalization, but a few viejos noted The Vanishing has been more prevalent in the last four years.

I've ghosted more than my share, I should note.

I have never done this, to my knowledge?

me eiths it's dumb
I'm too polite though

wassup homieslice

good morning!

Mornin' sunshine!
What's on the platter?

I'm vegetarian tonight.

sexually or culinarily?

Lady Bracknell : Well, both, if necessary, I presume!

So, I’m in one of the only two gay bars in Marbella (southern coast of Spain) right now, and the thing here is that high heeled shoes are passed around, everyone tries them on, and then they take their turn swishing down what passes for a catwalk. Pleased to report that my boy got the loudest applause of the night. We make our own entertainment.

The bar is filling up because at 4am they close the doors, bring out the ashtrays, and everyone can smoke indoors.

We will be back tomorrow for drag queen bingo.

omgggggg jealous

Oh I forgot to mention the seventy something naked woman who did her catwalk turn clutching a large stuffed teddy bear.

stop

jealz to the max

Just ended a fabulous evening with j0rdan.

yesss. what did y'all do?

we went to a sports bar so i could watch basketball while we talked about madonna

...and Mariah Carey. And my terrible non-date last week.

ok well that sounds ideal (sorry for the delay how the hell do three days go by?!)

you know i saw Madonna's Mme X tour
she could still put on a show, i just wonder if it isn't time for her to maybe think about doing something else

we had dinner with Stevie last night!! and then he came back to our place and we plied him with amaro and we talked about sheryl crow and natalie merchant and celine dion and it was just a total delight <3

Amaro! Sheryl Crow! Sounds like my kind of night.

sounds like a blast

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHxbxAQSQMM

uhhhhhh i had no idea wallace shawn was in a chaka khan video lol

he's in everything!
also I'm pretty sure I've had that night before lol so fun xp ❤️

wassup docs
it's eighty goddamn degrees here today
too soon yo

lovely haiku

it's only about 70 here. we've had some random bursts of heat over the past few weeks though.

next week i will be in seattle, where it's gonna be 50 and rainy no doubt. i forget, are any of y'all based there? would love recs on things and places to do/see/eat/drink there!

Wish I had more Recs than go to PONY and the gay Karaoke bar on Cap Hill, and also you simply must visit the main public library, it is everything a public library should be imho

85 degrees already

omg I've always wanted to go to Seattle

i used to love working in the library in college. I would sit in the stacks in the basement, or the art stacks which were the super cool ones. but I had no place there TBH

I miss my college library all the time.

The cops caught the arsonist of the queer bar in Bushwick. Scary story of what happened.

Not gonna lie, my queer friends, but I really am getting a lot more worried about some things, like whether my marriage will be recognized in a few years.

wait i didn't hear about the bar. deets? how did i miss that. was reading an article about a gay couple last night just filed a precedent setting suit RE being denied infertility coverage for IVF. glad for the action.

so just now i'm served an ad on facebook for customized wrestling singlets that's just an image of hairy pecs bulging out of spandex (the co is t4ked0wn sp0rtswe4r, in case you want to google it and have the ads follow you around everywhere). and i notice that it has likes and loves. so i click on the loves because i have a premonition. about ten gentlemen come up, and i open each in a new tab, and am beguiled by ten miniature portraits of gay american men.

wrestling fetishists have surprisingly good taste in memes

sorry busy week! how creepy! honestly the sanitary side of wrestling alone counteracts how hot it can be don't you think? u know how many skin infections those guys get? gross.

so I'm going to fire island in Aug and i have to figure out my look. last year was health goth. I'm kind of feeling club kid this year???

HI
wtf is up

hello gays

hiiii!

we spent nearly four hours trying to put up two bookshelves yesterday. stupid drywall!!

Got laid in New Orleans last week with a Napoleon House waiter.

i'm gay. not much else up tbh. hi kate!

Gay meter low thank christ for this thread

There is one (1) gay bar in town and it is a municipal landmark for being the first local gay watering hole

See? They don't need anymore!

wait hoos i thought you were in dc?

I quite liked Gay Bar; my reading it coincided with my finally getting laid again after the pandemic had turned me into an ascetic.

i liked "gay bar" a lot, i think he is a really strong imagerist, there's a description of sniffing armpits in that book as being like an animal grazing in tall grass that sticks w/ me. i think maybe i connected w/ it bcuz he also has a british partner and talks a lot about areas/bars in london that i or my bf spent time in. i haven't read "deep house" yet but recently i saw him read from it & do a talk w/ matt wolf... jeremy is funny and pretty self effacing, and there's some ridiculous and/or baldly corny parts of what he read (esp when writing about sex) where he sort of embraced the embarrassment of it all irl

just finished Deep House and really enjoyed it; the reportage on the legal history of gay marriage is interwoven with the memoir aspects really deftly I thought. haven’t read this essay (or Gay Bar) but am keen to

if you like the interweaving of reportage and memoir you'll def enjoy gay bar

okay "gay bar" sounds pretty good. i think that listicle headline was just designed to annoy me with "unpaid". like, omg who do i send an email to in relationship hr?

i'm in a pretty good facebook group called "gaybarchives" or something like that. an elder gave a great rundown on "esta noche" a bar in the mission with predominantly cholo clientele. fun stuff.

i saw someone else reminiscing about "the spotlight" another old bar in hollywood, or like on the border of weho and hollywood. someone chimed in and said the chatted with leslie jordan there just after he quit drinking (he was having a shirley temple). i was in l.a. during some of the last years The Spotlight was open. i went once and i remember hookers out back.

there was a sexy bodybuilder who bartended at gold coast, another old bar around there. i kinda worked my way into hanging out with him and his partner, i guess i could have called them friends. they were probably worried about me as i was drinking a lot at the time. fuzzy memories.

i have vague thoughts about queer culture finding itself in a big flux state between "respectability" and "disreputability". go into any queer space and you'll always find a lot of tension between those two poles.

i think i went to esta noche once? it's now a bar for queer women called Mother, went there the last time i was in the city. it was nice but i felt terrible because i needed to take what turned out to be a hardcore #2 when i got there. sorry lesbians!!! didn't mean to foul up your space like that.

i went to the spotlight a couple times, the clientele there was...interesting lol. i once had a long chat with an older straight woman who was clearly a regular, she told me she worked for disney in the 70s as an animator. another time i went and a very drunk bear i was chatting with kept trying to tickle me, i had to threaten him with a punch in the face to get him to stop. i absolutely could envision leslie jordan perched at the bar there.

i miss gold coast! by far my favorite of the weho bars (there's really not much competition lol). there was an incredibly handsome and flirty bartender working there one night; my husband wrote his phone number on the bill in the hopes that we could engineer a three-way, but nothing happened. i took morbs there once after an outfest screening he was in town for. it's re-opened as another bar now, but i haven't been to it yet.

i think it was actually "gold coast" with the hookers out back. i'm not sure i ever made it to the spotlight.

xp yeah gold coast was fun! people were very friendly and non-judgmental there. let's see if this works... not every weho gay went to gold coast, but every one who did ended up in a spontaneous three-way.

also lmao at your giant turd in mother story

only went into Esta Noche a few times, tho i did once pick up some trade at El Tin-Tan half a block away and we got frisky in Albion Alley.

i love gay bars but whew, i hardly drink so they simply aren’t as fun as they once were.