Real love -- I'm, like, searchin' for that Queer Love -- LGBTQIA+ Love // A Thread for the Real Ones

So! My Saturday night date sold me out. I suspected trouble when I had to text him 15 mins before meeting: he was running late thanks to a "minor emergency" at his parents', whatever that means (what's a "minor" emergency?). Luckily a friend kept me company at the bar.

An hour later, date texts: "On my way, send location address plz?" That's the last I heard of him. For a while I thought he died -- until I saw a an Instagram post Sunday morning.

He's 24, a former student who emailed me four years after class to ask about getting a beer or coffee. On determining he was queer he gushed: he praised my self-assurance, brains, looks, etc. We might've met that night had I not plans already. It's worth noting I barely remember this kid in summer 2018.

I wonder if simply not showing up is a phenomenon of the young?

Anusii are a cliche?

that sucks. definitely hit next. it's been a phenomenon of the young and old as long as i've been dating tbh. xp

Yeah, I wanted to avoid generational generalization, but a few viejos noted The Vanishing has been more prevalent in the last four years.

I've ghosted more than my share, I should note.

I have never done this, to my knowledge?

me eiths it's dumb
I'm too polite though

wassup homieslice

good morning!

Mornin' sunshine!
What's on the platter?

I'm vegetarian tonight.

sexually or culinarily?

Lady Bracknell : Well, both, if necessary, I presume!

So, I’m in one of the only two gay bars in Marbella (southern coast of Spain) right now, and the thing here is that high heeled shoes are passed around, everyone tries them on, and then they take their turn swishing down what passes for a catwalk. Pleased to report that my boy got the loudest applause of the night. We make our own entertainment.

The bar is filling up because at 4am they close the doors, bring out the ashtrays, and everyone can smoke indoors.

We will be back tomorrow for drag queen bingo.

omgggggg jealous

Oh I forgot to mention the seventy something naked woman who did her catwalk turn clutching a large stuffed teddy bear.

stop

jealz to the max

Just ended a fabulous evening with j0rdan.

yesss. what did y'all do?

we went to a sports bar so i could watch basketball while we talked about madonna

...and Mariah Carey. And my terrible non-date last week.

ok well that sounds ideal (sorry for the delay how the hell do three days go by?!)

you know i saw Madonna's Mme X tour
she could still put on a show, i just wonder if it isn't time for her to maybe think about doing something else

we had dinner with Stevie last night!! and then he came back to our place and we plied him with amaro and we talked about sheryl crow and natalie merchant and celine dion and it was just a total delight <3

Amaro! Sheryl Crow! Sounds like my kind of night.

sounds like a blast

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHxbxAQSQMM

uhhhhhh i had no idea wallace shawn was in a chaka khan video lol

he's in everything!
also I'm pretty sure I've had that night before lol so fun xp ❤️

wassup docs
it's eighty goddamn degrees here today
too soon yo

lovely haiku

it's only about 70 here. we've had some random bursts of heat over the past few weeks though.

next week i will be in seattle, where it's gonna be 50 and rainy no doubt. i forget, are any of y'all based there? would love recs on things and places to do/see/eat/drink there!

Wish I had more Recs than go to PONY and the gay Karaoke bar on Cap Hill, and also you simply must visit the main public library, it is everything a public library should be imho

85 degrees already

omg I've always wanted to go to Seattle

i used to love working in the library in college. I would sit in the stacks in the basement, or the art stacks which were the super cool ones. but I had no place there TBH

I miss my college library all the time.

The cops caught the arsonist of the queer bar in Bushwick. Scary story of what happened.

Not gonna lie, my queer friends, but I really am getting a lot more worried about some things, like whether my marriage will be recognized in a few years.

wait i didn't hear about the bar. deets? how did i miss that. was reading an article about a gay couple last night just filed a precedent setting suit RE being denied infertility coverage for IVF. glad for the action.

so just now i'm served an ad on facebook for customized wrestling singlets that's just an image of hairy pecs bulging out of spandex (the co is t4ked0wn sp0rtswe4r, in case you want to google it and have the ads follow you around everywhere). and i notice that it has likes and loves. so i click on the loves because i have a premonition. about ten gentlemen come up, and i open each in a new tab, and am beguiled by ten miniature portraits of gay american men.

wrestling fetishists have surprisingly good taste in memes

sorry busy week! how creepy! honestly the sanitary side of wrestling alone counteracts how hot it can be don't you think? u know how many skin infections those guys get? gross.

so I'm going to fire island in Aug and i have to figure out my look. last year was health goth. I'm kind of feeling club kid this year???

HI
wtf is up

hello gays

hiiii!

we spent nearly four hours trying to put up two bookshelves yesterday. stupid drywall!!

Got laid in New Orleans last week with a Napoleon House waiter.

i'm gay. not much else up tbh. hi kate!

Gay meter low thank christ for this thread

There is one (1) gay bar in town and it is a municipal landmark for being the first local gay watering hole

See? They don't need anymore!

wait hoos i thought you were in dc?

I hope you washed your teeth.

Conversation this morning at Starbucks b/w two bros:

"Listen, the first roommate I ever had? He was gay. A masculine gay. He never disrespected me. But if you're a feminine gay? I have no time for you. Like, okay, a coworker? That's fine. But otherwise? Fuck. That."

I wonder who he voted for.

The not unhandsome beardo delivering this earnest monologue was, I think, persuading his bro to join him at some outdoor event that sounded Peterson-esque.

I wonder if that is textbook homophobia or crypto-misogyny

either way it's learned insecurity

I’m in Germany, in rehearsals for a (first ever) full performance of an entirely orchestral album I made a few years ago. I wasn’t ambitious enough to try and book this gig myself, a conductor friend set it up because he’s such a fan of the album.

The first stage of development with regards to this project was one of me dragging-my-feet, basically just assuming that something would happen and it’d be cancelled

The second stage had me spending a couple weeks chained to the computer making revisions— it’s a lot of fucking music and it took a shit tonne of time rendering all the scores and parts

The current stage finds me sobbing onstage at every rehearsal at how intensely beautiful it is sounding, like I am struggling to express satisfaction at how things are going because of the mixture of “this is devastatingly beautiful music” feeling and a “I have been selling myself short for the past decade and that feels extremely upsetting” feeling

"Listen, the first roommate I ever had? He was gay. A masculine gay. He never disrespected me. But if you're a feminine gay? I have no time for you. Like, okay, a coworker? That's fine. But otherwise? Fuck. That."

― The Luda of Suburbia (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, October 7, 2025 6:32 AM (six hours ago)

straight cis guys insecure about my having been born with a penis, gay cis guys insecure about me not actually being a man, sigh

it's the same kind of insecurity, the same kind of thing with those silly "gold star" lesbians who were like "these lips have never touched dick"

personally, i'm not a lesbian because i hate dick, i'm a lesbian because i _like girls_

mostly though i like people. i am attracted to a wide variety of different human beings, and sometimes, rarely but sometimes, i can even imagine some activities i might like to do with these human beings.

I laughed when Bearded Bro said "Fuck. That." almost like Kendrick on "A.D.H.D."

The current stage finds me sobbing onstage at every rehearsal at how intensely beautiful it is sounding, like I am struggling to express satisfaction at how things are going because of the mixture of “this is devastatingly beautiful music” feeling and a “I have been selling myself short for the past decade and that feels extremely upsetting” feeling

― We're sad to see you. Go! (flamboyant goon tie included)

that's a shitty realization and i'm at the same time, i'm really happy that you're not selling yourself short now :purpleheart:

I am struggling to express satisfaction at how things are going because of the mixture of “this is devastatingly beautiful music” feeling and a “I have been selling myself short for the past decade and that feels extremely upsetting” feeling

as a chronic debilitating procrastinator i have had to learn the feeling of finding satisfaction in finally doing something even if it's happening like... years too late (i.e. cancelling a membership to a gym in a city i hadn't lived in for a long time). i know yours isn't procrastination related but i think there is a way to look at something you think is really ugly -- your own inaction -- and find a small ray of fulfillment in simply having changed the inaction to action. and as far as art goes maybe there are aspects of the music or your own performance or your emotional connection to the music that are present now that wouldn't have been there had you performed it back when it was released. i don't know if it's possible to fully shed the feeling of being upset at yourself but can you turn the emotional knobs in different directions so that the present beauty of the music overshadows the inaction that you can't go back and change?