Real love -- I'm, like, searchin' for that Queer Love -- LGBTQIA+ Love // A Thread for the Real Ones

So! My Saturday night date sold me out. I suspected trouble when I had to text him 15 mins before meeting: he was running late thanks to a "minor emergency" at his parents', whatever that means (what's a "minor" emergency?). Luckily a friend kept me company at the bar.

An hour later, date texts: "On my way, send location address plz?" That's the last I heard of him. For a while I thought he died -- until I saw a an Instagram post Sunday morning.

He's 24, a former student who emailed me four years after class to ask about getting a beer or coffee. On determining he was queer he gushed: he praised my self-assurance, brains, looks, etc. We might've met that night had I not plans already. It's worth noting I barely remember this kid in summer 2018.

I wonder if simply not showing up is a phenomenon of the young?

Anusii are a cliche?

that sucks. definitely hit next. it's been a phenomenon of the young and old as long as i've been dating tbh. xp

Yeah, I wanted to avoid generational generalization, but a few viejos noted The Vanishing has been more prevalent in the last four years.

I've ghosted more than my share, I should note.

I have never done this, to my knowledge?

me eiths it's dumb
I'm too polite though

wassup homieslice

good morning!

Mornin' sunshine!
What's on the platter?

I'm vegetarian tonight.

sexually or culinarily?

Lady Bracknell : Well, both, if necessary, I presume!

So, I’m in one of the only two gay bars in Marbella (southern coast of Spain) right now, and the thing here is that high heeled shoes are passed around, everyone tries them on, and then they take their turn swishing down what passes for a catwalk. Pleased to report that my boy got the loudest applause of the night. We make our own entertainment.

The bar is filling up because at 4am they close the doors, bring out the ashtrays, and everyone can smoke indoors.

We will be back tomorrow for drag queen bingo.

omgggggg jealous

Oh I forgot to mention the seventy something naked woman who did her catwalk turn clutching a large stuffed teddy bear.

stop

jealz to the max

Just ended a fabulous evening with j0rdan.

yesss. what did y'all do?

we went to a sports bar so i could watch basketball while we talked about madonna

...and Mariah Carey. And my terrible non-date last week.

ok well that sounds ideal (sorry for the delay how the hell do three days go by?!)

you know i saw Madonna's Mme X tour
she could still put on a show, i just wonder if it isn't time for her to maybe think about doing something else

we had dinner with Stevie last night!! and then he came back to our place and we plied him with amaro and we talked about sheryl crow and natalie merchant and celine dion and it was just a total delight <3

Amaro! Sheryl Crow! Sounds like my kind of night.

sounds like a blast

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHxbxAQSQMM

uhhhhhh i had no idea wallace shawn was in a chaka khan video lol

he's in everything!
also I'm pretty sure I've had that night before lol so fun xp ❤️

wassup docs
it's eighty goddamn degrees here today
too soon yo

lovely haiku

it's only about 70 here. we've had some random bursts of heat over the past few weeks though.

next week i will be in seattle, where it's gonna be 50 and rainy no doubt. i forget, are any of y'all based there? would love recs on things and places to do/see/eat/drink there!

Wish I had more Recs than go to PONY and the gay Karaoke bar on Cap Hill, and also you simply must visit the main public library, it is everything a public library should be imho

85 degrees already

omg I've always wanted to go to Seattle

i used to love working in the library in college. I would sit in the stacks in the basement, or the art stacks which were the super cool ones. but I had no place there TBH

I miss my college library all the time.

The cops caught the arsonist of the queer bar in Bushwick. Scary story of what happened.

Not gonna lie, my queer friends, but I really am getting a lot more worried about some things, like whether my marriage will be recognized in a few years.

wait i didn't hear about the bar. deets? how did i miss that. was reading an article about a gay couple last night just filed a precedent setting suit RE being denied infertility coverage for IVF. glad for the action.

so just now i'm served an ad on facebook for customized wrestling singlets that's just an image of hairy pecs bulging out of spandex (the co is t4ked0wn sp0rtswe4r, in case you want to google it and have the ads follow you around everywhere). and i notice that it has likes and loves. so i click on the loves because i have a premonition. about ten gentlemen come up, and i open each in a new tab, and am beguiled by ten miniature portraits of gay american men.

wrestling fetishists have surprisingly good taste in memes

sorry busy week! how creepy! honestly the sanitary side of wrestling alone counteracts how hot it can be don't you think? u know how many skin infections those guys get? gross.

so I'm going to fire island in Aug and i have to figure out my look. last year was health goth. I'm kind of feeling club kid this year???

HI
wtf is up

hello gays

hiiii!

we spent nearly four hours trying to put up two bookshelves yesterday. stupid drywall!!

Got laid in New Orleans last week with a Napoleon House waiter.

i'm gay. not much else up tbh. hi kate!

Gay meter low thank christ for this thread

There is one (1) gay bar in town and it is a municipal landmark for being the first local gay watering hole

See? They don't need anymore!

wait hoos i thought you were in dc?

i will say that i'm really grateful for our monthly sex party. it's awesome. you just show up, start flirting and get down. a quick natural way through all of the time consuming potentially misleading stuff you have to do on an app. (not to mention the logistics of the actual hook-up). i've learned that my chemistry with someone is only distantly related to their body type and age. it's how i've been meeting people and having fun for the past several months now. scruff doesn't even work on my phone because it's too old lol.

i have the opposite problem that you do j0rdan in that i have to be intentional about putting myself into "meet new people" type situations more often. i've been pushing myself in that direction and happy with the progress. i used to show up at the party and get so fucking overwhelmed with social anxiety. one time i actually left and then came back haha. but the last few times i've gone, last time especially, something has switched to where i'm "doing it". relaxed. smiling. eye contact. small talk. which meant that i was basically devoured all night and met like 3 new guys. it was great!

ok another thing that has been happening to me lately is that i've been fantasizing about women?? i used to just totally tune women out at the gym but lately i've been noticing them especially when they notice me. and anyway there's like a whole weird shelf or closet of my psyche that feels kinda newly potent related to that and i feel like i might have to do more with a woman at some point, or a trans woman. i'm guessing there are apps for that. but lord i'm not sure how much i want to start exploring that in my current city, i might have to save that for when we move somewhere a little less patriarchal overall.

Go for it!!

ok another thing that has been happening to me lately is that i've been fantasizing about women??

welcome to the club

Kinsey fluctuation is real

I still identify as bi but I’ve been very guy-centric over the past 6-7 years

i definitely have to put myself out there more— the period when i was really going for it last spring, before emergency surgery and the summer being mooted, was yielding interesting results.

also tho, husband has been more sexual recently, but that tends to come in waves and i clearly still need another outlet. case in point: he works from home, and on his lunch break today he came up and gave me a big close hug and grabbed my ass. i could feel him through his pants. but when i asked whether he wanted something more, because i was certainly turned on, he said “maybe later.” that’s fine, but i definitely could have used a little something myself!!

it's nice to hear that you two still have that spark.

it is nice! 15 years together this April :)

it's taken a few years of trial and error but i've landed on a regular kind of trip i like to do - basically trail running vacations. my next one came together pretty quickly this morning. it's gonna be gayer than usual so i thought i'd blab about it here haha. mainly because it looks like i'm staying with an old hookup for two nights. we were fuckbuds when i lived in moab. he was an arches park ranger at the time. now he's with red rock conservation area outside of las vegas. so i'm looking at quiet resorts off the strip on the west side of town closer to red rocks, where i'll stay for the first two nights. there will be a strip-adjacent bathhouse visitation but that's all i plan to do downtown. and for once i can eat out and eat well -- usually these trips are to small towns with terrible restaurant food. and i'll be able to lift at a real gym. i'm kinda surprised by the apparent quality of desert and mountain trails west of vegas. a lot of options and they look beautiful. can't wait to do something a little different. love the idea of mixing nature and hopefully solitude and real-deal wilderness with social at the end of the day.

Calling map (and Eric if he still lives here?), I’m in SLC for the next few days let’s hang out (Sun Mon Tues nights, Wed day)

hey cool, yes! i sent you a message on fb.