Real love -- I'm, like, searchin' for that Queer Love -- LGBTQIA+ Love // A Thread for the Real Ones

So! My Saturday night date sold me out. I suspected trouble when I had to text him 15 mins before meeting: he was running late thanks to a "minor emergency" at his parents', whatever that means (what's a "minor" emergency?). Luckily a friend kept me company at the bar.

An hour later, date texts: "On my way, send location address plz?" That's the last I heard of him. For a while I thought he died -- until I saw a an Instagram post Sunday morning.

He's 24, a former student who emailed me four years after class to ask about getting a beer or coffee. On determining he was queer he gushed: he praised my self-assurance, brains, looks, etc. We might've met that night had I not plans already. It's worth noting I barely remember this kid in summer 2018.

I wonder if simply not showing up is a phenomenon of the young?

Anusii are a cliche?

that sucks. definitely hit next. it's been a phenomenon of the young and old as long as i've been dating tbh. xp

Yeah, I wanted to avoid generational generalization, but a few viejos noted The Vanishing has been more prevalent in the last four years.

I've ghosted more than my share, I should note.

I have never done this, to my knowledge?

me eiths it's dumb
I'm too polite though

wassup homieslice

good morning!

Mornin' sunshine!
What's on the platter?

I'm vegetarian tonight.

sexually or culinarily?

Lady Bracknell : Well, both, if necessary, I presume!

So, I’m in one of the only two gay bars in Marbella (southern coast of Spain) right now, and the thing here is that high heeled shoes are passed around, everyone tries them on, and then they take their turn swishing down what passes for a catwalk. Pleased to report that my boy got the loudest applause of the night. We make our own entertainment.

The bar is filling up because at 4am they close the doors, bring out the ashtrays, and everyone can smoke indoors.

We will be back tomorrow for drag queen bingo.

omgggggg jealous

Oh I forgot to mention the seventy something naked woman who did her catwalk turn clutching a large stuffed teddy bear.

stop

jealz to the max

Just ended a fabulous evening with j0rdan.

yesss. what did y'all do?

we went to a sports bar so i could watch basketball while we talked about madonna

...and Mariah Carey. And my terrible non-date last week.

ok well that sounds ideal (sorry for the delay how the hell do three days go by?!)

you know i saw Madonna's Mme X tour
she could still put on a show, i just wonder if it isn't time for her to maybe think about doing something else

we had dinner with Stevie last night!! and then he came back to our place and we plied him with amaro and we talked about sheryl crow and natalie merchant and celine dion and it was just a total delight <3

Amaro! Sheryl Crow! Sounds like my kind of night.

sounds like a blast

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHxbxAQSQMM

uhhhhhh i had no idea wallace shawn was in a chaka khan video lol

he's in everything!
also I'm pretty sure I've had that night before lol so fun xp ❤️

wassup docs
it's eighty goddamn degrees here today
too soon yo

lovely haiku

it's only about 70 here. we've had some random bursts of heat over the past few weeks though.

next week i will be in seattle, where it's gonna be 50 and rainy no doubt. i forget, are any of y'all based there? would love recs on things and places to do/see/eat/drink there!

Wish I had more Recs than go to PONY and the gay Karaoke bar on Cap Hill, and also you simply must visit the main public library, it is everything a public library should be imho

85 degrees already

omg I've always wanted to go to Seattle

i used to love working in the library in college. I would sit in the stacks in the basement, or the art stacks which were the super cool ones. but I had no place there TBH

I miss my college library all the time.

The cops caught the arsonist of the queer bar in Bushwick. Scary story of what happened.

Not gonna lie, my queer friends, but I really am getting a lot more worried about some things, like whether my marriage will be recognized in a few years.

wait i didn't hear about the bar. deets? how did i miss that. was reading an article about a gay couple last night just filed a precedent setting suit RE being denied infertility coverage for IVF. glad for the action.

so just now i'm served an ad on facebook for customized wrestling singlets that's just an image of hairy pecs bulging out of spandex (the co is t4ked0wn sp0rtswe4r, in case you want to google it and have the ads follow you around everywhere). and i notice that it has likes and loves. so i click on the loves because i have a premonition. about ten gentlemen come up, and i open each in a new tab, and am beguiled by ten miniature portraits of gay american men.

wrestling fetishists have surprisingly good taste in memes

sorry busy week! how creepy! honestly the sanitary side of wrestling alone counteracts how hot it can be don't you think? u know how many skin infections those guys get? gross.

so I'm going to fire island in Aug and i have to figure out my look. last year was health goth. I'm kind of feeling club kid this year???

HI
wtf is up

hello gays

hiiii!

we spent nearly four hours trying to put up two bookshelves yesterday. stupid drywall!!

Got laid in New Orleans last week with a Napoleon House waiter.

i'm gay. not much else up tbh. hi kate!

Gay meter low thank christ for this thread

There is one (1) gay bar in town and it is a municipal landmark for being the first local gay watering hole

See? They don't need anymore!

wait hoos i thought you were in dc?

(i think alfred will dislike this film)

idk I love tonal shifts.

I loved Pillon (the novel's even better).

i'll have to keep an eye out for _departures_. i've still yet to see pillion... i get really backlogged, hate watching films by myself and don't always get out as much as i'd like. and i think that, in film, a lot of stuff that would be abuse in real life can be portrayed as kink... the cinematic lens complicates the idea of consent.

just for me, a lot of submission is the _fantasy_ of being taken without my consent... that's categorically different from the reality, which unfortunately i know firsthand. the thing for me about portraying consensual kink in film is that showing that process can be kind of, i mean, boring. negotiating boundaries and stuff. it's like doing a film about poly, to do it realistically, a lot of that _is_ scheduling. my opinion has really evolved about that over the last few years.

i get so caught up in the last conversation and forget to talk about what i mean to!

idk, intimacy, the depression has been pretty bad for a few months now and that means that i haven't felt very, idk, in that headspace. part of it is that my sexuality is, i guess what they say, "responsive", it's normal for me, as someone on estrogen, to feel that way based on how into me someone else is. and things being the way they are, people i know don't necessarily have energy for it.

one of the things that's interesting is thinking about my bestie, how much we've both grown, and how we've grown closer since i broke up with her. we were always good for each other in some ways... it just, when we first got together, was that we were bad for each other in other ways. and we've both grown so that... we each know when we're doing something that's not working, know how to take space for ourselves while making space for the other. that's not something i've really had before to that degree, that sense of trust, that sense of independence. we spent a lot of time with very strong limitations on how we interacted, and i think that's really let us become close the way we have.

anyway a lot of stuff coming up, things being complicated... my bestie right now has physical problems that keep her from being too sexual, and she's got an operation coming up (if you're thinking of one, it's not that one) that should make a pretty big difference.

i'm also thinking about it in terms of... her roommate, who's another one of her exes, has a new partner and is feeling that new relationship energy. and it's been really positive for my bestie... her roommate's last relationship was with this dude who had, like, a lot of problems, a lot lot of problems. and seeing her roommate in that relationship, being around that guy who did fucked up shit on the reg, caused her some issues. anyway around this new person, she's got what they call "compersion". she's learning to trust her gut. she didn't trust her gut about her roommate's last partner, rightly so, and she trusts her gut on this person, and it's helping her to open up.

she's been really socially isolated... what happened in 2023, with us and our social circles, both being rejected like we were, really fucked up both of us. and we both had to really work to not make it a "you and me against the world" thing. i'm less socially isolated but professionally... i want to get it together professionally before i get into relationship stuff. idk. i'm probably stable enough for a relationship, if i can get out there.

we've been taking a break from the sex parties, mainly because we're seeing a. in july and we just wanted testing windows to line up. i have little going on socially right now and i guess i'm ok with it. i've been pressing forward in my own little world. j. seems content to do the same, although i think he's a bit more social than i am, with texting and stuff. i hate texting and refuse to do it unless i can type on a large keyboard.

i see flashes of old faces online. i train a friend on saturdays. my gym is basically a gay bar lol but i ignore everyone. so that's the extent of my gay life right now. j and i have a nightly toad and frog routine - recliners, blankets, the screen.

it's the solstice. somehow the daylight felt like it was going on too long anyway. i noticed it last week while camping. too many golden hours. false golden hours before real golden hours. it's time to move back the other way i guess.

darkness ain't so bad.

it's the balance i think. light in darkness. darkness in light. but that's just how i do.

👍👍 or should i say 👍👎

i have little going on socially right now and i guess i'm ok with it

meanwhile i'm staring down pride weekend in new york like i'm about to be shipped off to normandy

getting ready for d day?

thank you for your service j0rd 🫡

You're not a good proud soldier unless you've gotten crabs at least twice.

doxypep sure helps to improve worker safety on deck