Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here

No, you're thinking of the 1975

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qB7O6c5Uycw

#8th…wonder
#onethread

godd, i used to write like that all the fucking time, anybody remember that? i mean it's fun to just fucking go off like that but i kinda think of that writing style as kind of annoying. it makes me look "wackier" than i actually am.

I’d like to think that people would remember that Milo Y was en masse blackballed by both institutions and the people previously hate-sharing his bullshit and, as a result, the only time we ever hear about him now is when someone says “hey remember when people cared about Milo Y, lol why did we let that happen” but I’m old enough to know better

I'm sorry but you'd be making really exceptional time to leave SF in the morning and get to Milpitas in 49 minutes. ... Granted, if it were to take more than 2 hours, there'd have to have been some accident or something.

insert obligatory ilx bill nelson joke here

I already deleted one

still waiting on a "Running Up That Hill"/"Runnin' Down A Dream" mashup

Good lord, I never even posted on this thread.

I didn't return to another thread because of having posts wildly misread or misrepresented and vast unfounded assumptions being made about me and where I'm coming from. Even if not a misunderstanding but really a disagreement** then still a completely nasty way of sermonising about "me" to the room (oh see how simply perfect thee cis male is and hees need to defend thee actions of thee comedy willy man because that's what all cis men want to see most and want license to do and that's the joke and hee doesn't get it) oh fuck off. I don't blame that person for being so confused and nasty, but are people actually rallying around that shit?

I didn't read it all to be honest and I didn't want to return to see if my no doubt wildly innadequate and possibly innacurate attempt to clarify with as little hostility as I could manage (yes, I had a reaction to being demonised and dehumanised, what hypocrite I have feelings!) was taken in good faith. I AM sensitive to what I think is clear and direct being misread or things being read into / projected on, partly because as an autistic person (undiagnosed except by myself) this is something I've lived with all my life. I can end up second guessing whether I've expressed something properly or wonder if it's fair that it was misread. This is also typically used against us and has been in abusive ways and maybe if I bring up PTSD I know what I'm talking about from personal experience. Or rather, CPTSD. But CPTSD typically doesn't have a single identificable incident, it's a million maddening cuts and tripple binds imposed by people that should be nurturing you. To a very large extent I worked my way out of the "mad" part with pechedlics and what have you (certainly no "professional" help), but trauma lives in the body and that still takes work.

But I don't think I'm that shit at context and there it was being switched on me dishonestly, and I was being told I was talking about things and people I (clearly, obviously as far as I was concerned) wasn't or wouldn't have been. But yes context has layers and can shift and can be approached differently by autistic people and neurotypical people and among people generally to some extent. This feels gaslighty and abusive, and when doubled down on I really have to question it. There is that one poster who does make me thing of narcissitic abuse. Maybe they get away with it by claiming certain marginalised or protected status; we're supposed to be interested in and sensitive to trans exeprience (and I am and try to be), but then maybe when they (singular) say something like "we are a quantum leap in the dick joke" it's not a curious insight or a funny but simply grandiosity. 'I'm really great because of my relationship with my penis. These pathetic cis men wouldn't have the balls to think about having them removed.' Go on tell me that's transphobia. It's not, it's abusive bullying fragile narcissist phobia maybe.

There is possibly quite a lot to say, and maybe I will, maybe it's necessary, but I don't have or want to devote the energy and time necessary to put it into words. Most of you don't know much about me because I don't like to discuss personal stuff much here. And it doesn't exactly feel like there is much regard for my experience, undertandably I'm not close to many posters here, I keep it farily superficial, and also I don't have status as a protected category. Hey, I'm tring to push the autistic thing. C'mon, that must afford me a little bit of consideration as a human being who doesn't have a perfectly easy life and might even be worth trying to hear?

* for some reason I expect better here at least in terms of reasoning ability and generosity in trying to see what people are not talking about, and generally there isn't too much craziness. But I'm not well equipped to deal with people suddenly turning. Then again I'm reminded that a similar "miscommunicatoin" happened before which also resulted in the person bizarrely assuing something was about them and saying it didn't apply to them (so yeah.. then maybe that's a clue that it wasn't?) and some passive aggressive weirdness when I explained it clearly wasn't.

** You really believe that "feeling unsafe" is identical with "being at risk of physical harm" and to say otherwise is heresy. And yes they can be correlated, I'm not a fucking idiot, but that doesn't mean they are the same. And a performance crossing a line into something that is unnaceptable in other contexts (or even in that context for the sake of argument) is also not identical with a present physical risk. And yes there was more to what I was sayng as well but apparently people lose the ability to follow a few very simple steps when they're so incensed by what they imagine they've read. And all situations are "potentialy dangerous". The room I'm sitting in (i.e. my home) is potentially dangerous and would be even if it wasn't for the mold and the possible asbestos and the complete lack of fire exits. This is facile of course, but apprently here we are.

Mainly (or entirely really) I was question the invoking of the notion of "felt unsafety" and the implications of that in relation to art. I wasn't saying ooh they shouldn't have cancelled free speech censorship etc. In a statment by the venue. They used that, do they think this in itself justifies license being withdrawn? They could have said "patrons had reason to believe it was not safe to remain", but that would be to imply or conceded that their venue was unsafe, rather than putting the onus on people's feelings. Maybe it's nothing but I'm sensitive to the language used and that's what it was for me. It's an autistic thing. I wasn't saying that people didn't feel what they felt. Come on for fuck's sake. People haven't demonstrated much will to engage in good faith and respectfully, to say the least.

I hope at least some people could see that and that in some way this drivel lands with them. That's all I hope for. I know expressing anger in this incoherent post isn't likely to achieve much else. I've probably failed to edit out something truly indefensible and beyond the pale in my desire to do something else, and I've definttley not taken the time to make sure everything is qualified to the hilt so it'll be easy for the people who've made up their minds to convince others that I'm invalid and you can FP me off the board. Oh and i mentioned someone who talks about their experience being trans all the time being trans so that's a proper hate crime. Call the cops, rad lefts.

This whole list is like

https://i.redd.it/t7odowf3bgl31.jpg

lol

whatever that mess of self pity and passive aggression was intended to achieve is beyond me but as an autist with a sometimes fractious relationship to these boards I'd really appreciate not being implicated by association tyvm

the return of the paperbag waist -- #neveragain

whatever that mess of self pity and passive aggression was intended to achieve is beyond me but as an autist with a sometimes fractious relationship to these boards I'd really appreciate not being implicated by association tyvm

― Left

i did actually killfile thread reviver so i have no idea what it is he said but for the record i'm neurodiverse (autistic/adhd) myself

my least favorite thing about using an old message board is that half the stuff i want to post these days is just memes, but i'm too old and stupid to find links to my favorite memes on the web

https://external-preview.redd.it/09qpDbX_-R4Q2wTHH8QO49jJ4iKo7bPWNK348lUdfOU.jpg?auto=webp&s=7f9b65cc946f2e1b5a6f8c60215e818391256775

anyway here's one i saw recently and appreciated, hope some of you get a kick out of it

the shitty thing about guys who release records with names like "public castration is a good idea" is that, in light of his past behavior, i am legit... let's say _not opposed_ to m. gira being castrated ("public" is taking a bit far, i don't see what the benefit of that is) but do you think that's ever going to actually happen? the hell it is.

Getting pulled off the P4k end of decade list is our generation's public castration

i stopped reading P4k about 12 years ago ... who got forked?

ftr Left I think Whiney was just having a go at us for liking different music from the 2010s

sure I do not have a specific beef with whiney (he can be a borderline edgelord at times but he hasn't really offended me yet) it was the other thing which set me off (my abrasive manner isn't necessarily unrelated to autism but I'd hate for my contributions to be dismissed or excused on those grounds rather than for their content or contextual appropriateness which is always fair game for criticism) (and that wasn't the worst thing but I'm trying to avoid white knighting for people who probably don't want or need it)

oh, if we're talking about whiney's pic, the nerds whiney tends to have a go at are the alt-right 4chan types. he's been pretty clear and explicit that he's not going after folks like us when he does stuff like that. a lot of my taste in music genuinely is /mu/-core, as filtered through rym, so it sometimes feels a bit too close to the bone, but we are legit not the targets.

I wasn't talking about that except as like a tossed off aside (levels of irony can be hard to parse sometimes on the internet but I've been on both sides of that many times myself)

sorry for any confusion I can see I wasn't very clear about anything

no worries it just happens, historically this board is really irony-heavy and i've sort of moved to this space where i mean nearly everything i say, not as an autistic thing specifically but the autism doesn't exactly hurt, plus i can't actually see the person whose post revived the thread because i killfiled him three days ago.

I mean, ILX is most definitely the target lol

xp
Also: this thread is confusing by design! Like, I think Whiney's post was a response to the 2010s poll on ILM, but I'm not 100% sure

Also: this thread is confusing by design!

^ gets it.

I have nothing to add except: that is a genuinely awesome meme.

I have nothing to add except: that is a genuinely awesome meme.

― Andrew Farrell

seriously i've built up this fucking amazing meme collection over the past couple years

"killfile" = block?

basically, yes

https://www.ilxor.com/ILX/SiteNewAnswersControllerServlet

oops

KILLFILE 2.0

french fries served out of a butthole

About 20 years ago, when I worked in the adult magazine industry, one of my co-workers had a rubber...crotch, I guess you'd have to call it. It was just a solid pink rubber slab in the shape of a vulva, a rectum, and half an ass/thighs. It didn't even look like you'd be able to get a comfortable grip on it to "use" it, unless you were supposed to lay it flat on the floor and thrust into it from above/behind. Anyway, he used it as a pen holder.

he says all the right things at exactly the right time

semi-relevant nsfw but really i just like posting this

https://i.imgur.com/RUhqMW8.jpg

About 20 years ago, when I worked in the adult magazine industry, one of my co-workers had a rubber...crotch, I guess you'd have to call it. It was just a solid pink rubber slab in the shape of a vulva, a rectum, and half an ass/thighs. It didn't even look like you'd be able to get a comfortable grip on it to "use" it, unless you were supposed to lay it flat on the floor and thrust into it from above/behind. Anyway, he used it as a pen holder.

― but also fuck you (unperson)

true "a bit small for me but my bird loves it" territory

https://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-reviews/R1OVNWQ4897JUO?ASIN=B01M703QA1

I mean, ILX is most definitely the target lol

― marcel the shell with swag on (Whiney G. Weingarten)

you and your vagueposting, you just can't tell dji to fuck off like the rest of us

seriously you post shade and my neurodiverse ass is going to assume you're directly attacking me with it, my only possible recourse is to assume that you're _not_ directly attacking me unless you directly are like "i think kate is a bad person and i do not like her", and even then you do the irony thing so much i'll still probably give you the benefit of the doubt

sucks to be you if you don't like me, so you might as well just think i'm awesome, it'll make things easier for both of us

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4k1EhYj7YEk

Kate, after this post, you have my assurance I’m not going to be directing any barbs at you — subliminal or otherwise — if only because I don’t want to have to respond to a wall of text

ok see if i didn't know any better that _almost sounded like a barb there_ whiney :)

just want to make it clear, nobody is ever under any obligation to _respond_ to any of my walls of text or even, quite honestly, _read_ any of them! i'm gonna keep writing walls of text though because, well, that's how i write!

oh wait "after this post", nevermind my reading comprehension is... not always great

Xpost that’s why I said “after this post” ;)

keep writing how you want to write. <3

oh god donald trump Did Something again i guess

AI is really coming on in leaps and bounds-uh

on threads like this i start to feel like the only man with a smartphone who has never photographed —or indeed, ever had the urge to photograph— my genitals.

like for real ... i'm really not sure how else to put this, but sometimes I don't even want to see it. WHY WOULD ANYONE ELSE?

I hear you.

i think most guys don't photograph or send people pictures of their dicks, but the people who do it _really_ get into it.

i find i appreciate cocks more now that i don't have one myself, particularly if the photos are _consensually_ shared. i don't really get turned _on_ by genital photography and never have, but sometimes someone will post a picture of their dick and i'll just be like, gee, that's a really good-looking dick. i'm particularly appreciative of meta dicks. i think metas are super underrated. i understand _why_ metas get stigmatized, but honestly i think they look really damn good.

guys who send unsolicited dick pics, though... even if they're nice dicks, they generally just don't take the time and effort to make the pictures look good. like come on, at least take some pride in your appearance. clean the damn mirror first.

There's a lot about what is supposedly common hetero male behavior that I don't get. Dick pics is one, going to strip clubs is another, hell, cheating on one's SO. I've been married for almost 30 years. For five of those years I worked in the porn industry. In other jobs, I have supervised young female interns and employees. I've never hit on any of them; I've never been to a strip club; I've never had the urge to make any kind of move in the direction of someone I'm not married to. It's not like I learned by example, either; my dad left my mom when I was 11. It's just...not how I'm wired.

There's a lot about what is supposedly common hetero male behavior that I don't get. Dick pics is one, going to strip clubs is another, hell, cheating on one's SO. I've been married for almost 30 years. For five of those years I worked in the porn industry. In other jobs, I have supervised young female interns and employees. I've never hit on any of them; I've never been to a strip club; I've never had the urge to make any kind of move in the direction of someone I'm not married to. It's not like I learned by example, either; my dad left my mom when I was 11. It's just...not how I'm wired.

― but also fuck you (unperson)

idk, did you want to be like your dad? sometimes parents can be reverse role models.

the idea of being "wired" a certain way is a challenging one for me... i've changed a lot in a lot of different ways. hopefully mostly for the better!

i never meta dick i didn't like