Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

this one's more 'lols' than aggravation or anything, but

there's a blog written by one of our leaders and it says

"What are you doing to prevent another 9/11 attack?"

oh shit, that's MY job now? I thought Matthew was the anti-terrorist coordinator.

(it's actually more talking about the need to follow data privacy rules and be careful about phishing, all things I agree with, but wow, what a hilariously bad title).

Boss wants to "treat" (his word) us to a "nice lunch and warehouse tour" from one of our vendors in a few weeks, although this is clearly mandatory.

The warehouse is 2.5 hours from my house, I will need to leave earlier and arrive home later than I would for a normal workday and spend 5 hours of my Friday sitting in traffic.

Some treat.

you're....billing this, right?

cos fuck, that should be 5 hours plus any other hours you work that day.

I mean, with the travel time it'll end up literally all I do that day, so hard to argue that I'll spend *extra* time that day (unless traffic is really bad). But really annoyed that I have to spend that much time in traffic for mandatory "fun".

expense your gas and any wear and tear

and ofc it's completely inaccessible by public transportation

will be doing exactly that for sure, Moodles

idk just annoyed because my old jobs always told these vendors that they could feed us and pitch us all they want, but they had to come to us.

62.5 cents/mile, just sayin

yeah, there was one year I was required to take a business trip to Ocala, FL (which is maybe 90 mins from my home) and I basically made back my gas plus a lil profit.

kinda curious how a "warehouse tour" constitutes a treat? ...

and here we have some pallets stored on industrial shelving anchored to the ground. And this is a pallet jack and our new forklift. This forklift has volume control for the beeping sound it makes when you put it in reverse. Over here is where we store the kitty litter to pour around the forklift in case it leaks. ... And over here, we have new shelving, note on this shelving we have plywood laid down so things don't fall through the slats of the pallets ...

this isn't a coworker really (thank god), it's a "dynamic" lizard person sociopath nightmare from an outside agency who is hellbent on wresting our agency's responsibilities from our admittedly dysfunctional management in order to buff her resume. if i have to hear one more work person refer to another work person as a "rock star" again i will commit seppuku in front of them.

i didn't go to library school to take orders from repulsively greasy d-list politicians.

Yesterday on a team call, my manager asked me to pull together some data from salesforce.com to help count up the number of sales opportunities that came through our different lines of business over the last year. This is a very normal and straightforward request for me as I am the data and analytics guy on the team. However, one of my teammates who is constantly on my shit about my reports and data for god-knows-what reason, immediately piped in and said he could help me with finding the data in salesforce and then I could put it together in excel since he doesn't know as much about pivot tables and such. Seeing as I was a salesforce.com admin for many years, ran countless reports out of salesforce, and have pulled similar data to this request many times, I said thanks but I have it under control.

So I very quickly pull down the data needed, pop it all in a spreadsheet, create a couple large pivot tables, and send it off to the team. Now here's where I probably made some bad choices, that I could have thought through more. As the tables were large enough that they couldn't fully fit on an average sized computer screen at 100% resolution, I decided to freeze the header rows so that they would be visible as you scroll down the table and you could tell what each column represents. I maybe should have thought through how this could look confusing.

So this morning, said co-worker fires off an urgent email to the team asking why the totals on my pivot table don't add up, the numbers in each column were far below the total values, he included a screen shot of my tables with his own totals underneath in red that were many thousands lower than the totals I presented. He then goes into a very lengthy and detailed analysis of the numbers based entirely off of the totals he added in red.

Now of course, anyone on here with a passing knowledge of excel can probably spot what the issue was: he was only looking at the bottom half of my tables and didn't know to scroll up to see the rest of them. It is actually impossible in excel to have a pivot table where the subtotals do not add up to the totals. So now there's a whole mess of analysis out there based on faulty numbers. A simple IM or phone call could've cleared this up very quickly, but instead the approach was to publicly call into question my data, when I am presumably the expert on this stuff.

If he's a peer and tried to undercut you, would reply with an e-mail screencap tip showing the r/h scroll bar, indicating how much content the file had and where in the range the current view is. Not sure how he added a row of his totals without noticing the header row staying static while underlying data shifted. Freezing header rows is standard in my job. Maybe a helpful URL to your work's Excel training files for extra "ummm..." subtext.

he seems to have it figured out now. the bigger issue for me is why not first ask me directly about it rather than doing all this work based on faulty assumptions about my job competence that just makes it all more confusing and makes us both look bad.

Yeah that's fucking ridiculous, nefarious behavior on their part

Frustrating but occasionally sending a “you gotta scroll up there, bro” message is the kind of workplace thing you have to convince yourself is entertaining

every time I'm in a chat with the AA who runs the new hire orientation meetings and see her bad-mouthing at 20% of the new hires in the chat behind their backs, I'm tempted to collect them all, and send them to HR as a first edition 300 page novel.

xp - that reminds me of a guy I work with who always, ALWAYS assumes bad intent and isn't afraid to blast his baseless conspiracy thinking all over the place and it drives me insane.

Most recent example was a coworker in another department who sent an email with several numbered attachments, one of which was missing. This guy immediately forwards the email to a list of around 25 people, including some fairly senior leaders, to the effect of, "why aren't they sharing all the information? it seems like they have something to hide", of course not copying the original sender.

Not even five minutes after that, the original coworker sends the missing attachment with a, "whoops, just saw I forgot one of the attachments, here you go" email. Of course the guy who sent the accusatory email is now completely silent, no apology, no thank you, just leaving his weird accusation hanging out there.

I know the majority of people I encounter are used to him pulling this shit and kind of roll their eyes, but I'm so annoyed that no one ever calls him out to his face about it (unfortunately I'm well below him on the chain, so I can't really do anything about it either).

they're definitely a 'missing stair', it sounds like. we had one of those, who was toxic, accused everyone of malfeasance and claimed she was the hardest worker on the team and being mistreated, not to mention she said not very veiled racist shit loudly on the floor once. they wanted to let her go for years, yet it took two years before someone finally took the steps. and she was rich, married to a well-off husband, and she routinely bragged about how she didn't need the money, that she did the job for the 'love of customer service' (???), so it wasn't a bit of mercy.

idk if it's because it's just easier to pretend someone annoying doesn't exist, or if people actually are fearful of those who are insistent on creating their own reality/stoking fires, but it seems people like the one you described always seem to do what they do without repercussion.

I had one colleague always trying to get me in trouble for shit, like one time she forwarded an email that I deliberately left the director off of because I needed to understand the whole picture before I looped them in, and as a result, I got humiliated on a call by the director who said he "didn't wanna ever see anybody leave him off of important emails again". also tried to rat on me because she didn't like something my direct report did, and then, the final straw was during our Debrief meeting w/ our client, she went into the slide I was responsible for editing and snuck in an edit to my slide without telling me, adding a criticism of my dept in the "areas of opportunity".

i actually blew up and called her out via email and CCed the director about how I was tired of her undercutting me and secretly updating something she wasn't even authorized to touch, and she gave me a phony-baloney apology but I felt a lot better afterwards.

(this was 8 years ago)

Slowly being driven up the wall by a coworker who insists that she be the main character of our work lives every day. She used to be really friendly and generally easy to get along with, someone with whom others of us could vent shared frustrations. But slowly, over the last year or so, it's become her show and there just isn't room for anyone else.

Every slight, frustration, irritant, whatever she puts right out on us. If we aren't in the same room with her, it will be a wall of texts to our three person group chat about how irritated and upset she is. If we are near, she'll come over to our desks and unload it all. And I'm not judging, I absolutely 100% get the need to vent to the coworkers suffering similar annoyances and irritants. But it's a one-way street with her, once she unloads it, she shuts off and ignores anything we share that doesn't include her.

I've kind of been sensing this for a few months now, but over the last few weeks it has really been crystallized for me and the one other coworker (I'll call C) that used to really like her.

Last week, Tuesday, she sent both C and I dozens of frustrated texts about how she was left out of a meeting, about how she feels disrespected, about being ignored, etc. I get it, both myself and C did our best to commiserate and be a sounding board. Thursday C got a really nasty email about something that wasn't even her job and texted us to vent. I responded, but nothing from the other coworker. Not a single response all day. The next morning C talked to her in person and asked if she had offended her in some way since she didn't respond. All she said was, "I have no time for your negativity right now, I have a lot on my plate". Which, okay, sometimes we all need boundaries, at least she was clear. But two hours later our boss forgot to include her in a meeting invite, which triggered another avalanche of texts to C and I about how frustrated she was. Given her earlier comments, I wasn't sure how to even respond so I just let it go (as did C, apparently). Half an hour later she texts us, "did you guys not read my texts? I'm really frustrated and I feel like you aren't supporting me".

So, yeah, all judgments aside, clearly not someone I can count on to be a good work friend and, to be perfectly honest, it's worth all the work and minefield navigating that would require. So I've really scaled back on interacting with her about anything that isn't directly work related, but she still came up to me this morning again to vent about something else. I kind of brushed her off about a deadline I have (which had the added benefit of being true!), but I'm trying to figure out how to extricate myself further without being a total dick about it. It's still a small group in our office pod and like it or not, I'm stuck with her 15 feet away from me 30-40 hours a week.

I'm here for you if you want/need to vent about this crazy-making place, but if you are going to shut off when I need the same, sorry, I'm not going to absorb that all for you.

(sorry if that didn't make much sense, been slowly composing it between other tasks hence the disjointed nature)

No, that makes perfect sense.

I’ve had the unfortunate issue of similar experience in friendships— a friend who only contacts me when they need something from me, but who completely ignores any communications from me, sometimes even when I give them what they need!! It’s a food thing we’re not in the same city or coast anymore, otherwise a messy friend breakup would have happened years ago.

It's weird. I really don't need to be her friend and I wouldn't really care if it changed to a cordial work relationship, but I'm trying not to back away in a matter that might backfire. I don't know, work is stressful enough without another minefield I have to try and maneuver everyday.

I had a colleague somewhat like that not long ago. I gradually discovered that if I just didn't respond, she would drop it, or more likely move on to someone else.

as exhibit a for why I'm leaving (as mentioned in the Working from Home thread yesterday), these are grown adults I am referring to
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every time we have a new class, I have to basically Sherlock Holmes who the managers are, because the list is always inaccurate. they're also supposed to tell the new hires upon hire who their manager is (not me).

so this last bunch of classes, we were given a list, and we invited their managers to their touchbases with their learners, only to be told "wtf, I'm not this person's manager". and all of the new hires said they had no clue who their manager was, so I had to figure it out, even though that's not my job.

I was told the alignments were changed due to a crazy amount of people who didn't show, and given a final list. I shared it, only to be told five minutes later that one of the new hires reached out to their manager and was told that person wasn't their manager and didn't know who was. so I reached out to my contact who said "oh yeah, we made another change, here you go".

This roster was missing 15 people from it altogether, and she deleted all records of the old ones. so I asked, exasperatedly, can someone give me a goddamn accurate roster. I'm given one, and I send out AGAIN to my trainers, and within FIVE MINUTES of having sent it, am told one of the listings is wrong again.

At this point I flipped out, brought everybody into a chat room, and said "I'm leading a goddamn training right now, and every time I send a list of managers that I am assured is correct, five minutes later I'm told it is wrong by someone else. Can you all get together and figure this out?", and I disappeared for an hour and made them fix it.

2 hours later, they are again arguing that the new list they spent hours coming up with is wrong.

I then told my boss that I am leaving this job and posting for another position in another dept tomorrow, promptly after.

on a staff call and dying inside as a co-worker reminds us for the millionth time of how he once accidentally pronounced Deutsche Bank as douche bank. It was embarrassing enough when it actually happened, but why tf do we need to be reminded over and over.

the "funny story" that wasn't funny the first time.

at least he didn't accidentally transfer a customer to a sex line, like I did in my first three months at this company back in 04

*co-worker walks in the door with a wet, hacking cough, continues to cough for the next six hours*

me: "Do you need a mask? I have a few extra here."

co-worker: "It's not COVID, I've been testing. What the hell do I need a mask for?"

*endless internal screaming*

I rarely do--complain about co-workers...For the 20 years I was full-time, virtually ever T.A./E.A. I ever worked with was fantastic. I loved having an E.A. in the room; above and beyond their help with whatever student they were responsible for, it was just great having another adult around. These classes were always calmer than classes without an E.A.

Now that I'm back to supply, most E.A.s are still great, but occasionally you run into one who's weirdly territorial. It's like they resent you being there--like with the classroom teacher away, the class should have been handed to them.

Had two in the same room a few days ago. All day long, it was like they were watching my every move, looking for something to pounce on. First they seemed alarmed that I was using the class computer for a personal e-mail. "You're on lunch right now...there are computers in the staff room." Using the classroom computer is perfectly OK in every class I've ever been in; it's just taken for granted you will use that computer. Later, after I opened a gate at another teacher's request and her student started to walk towards the open gate: "That's why we keep the gate closed." (Me: "But she asked me to open it...") At the end of the day, when the other one took the walkers and left me with the bus students, she suddenly popped back and noticed this one boy--a bit of a challenge--was walking a few feet behind me but accompanied by another student (these are kindergarten kids): "Mr. D--be careful of Joey!!!" I knew exactly where he was.

Today I took a half-day job for the same class, then 15 minutes later I get an automated call saying the job's been cancelled. Could be some other reason--I am susceptible to paranoia at times--but I swear that one or both complained to the homeroom teacher, and that led to the cancellation. God, those two need to lighten up.

stuff's better, haven't found anything I'm qualified for yet internally but still looking. until then, I am amused by this bit of cluelessness from our leaders.
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apparently a representative fucked up really badly and it lead to legal issues. leaders, looking for a fall guy, went to my boss's boss demanding to know what we teach in our compliance courses (so I'm guessing it had to do with data privacy issues).

Compliance courses are online courses everybody is required to take upon hire, then annually after that. Everybody gets the same courses. They're not designed by us, THEY'RE DESIGNED BY LEGAL!!!! Our only role is that we give new hires time to work on them.

like idk why don't you look at your own modules, dummies.

(literally any time a newb does anything wrong, they always try to blame us)

specifically glaring daggers at the coworker who has been sitting six feet away from me in a three hour meeting today who has been chomping gum, open mouthed, to the point that i'm having trouble hearing the presenter

You know what they did in Chicago

someone shared one of their co-workers got in trouble for basically disappearing today, and when asked why they didn't finish assignments, she claimed her laptop was 'losing power'. no, not that the laptop was suddenly powering off, but that it was losing power (as it does when you don't plug it into the ac adapter) and as a result, it was performing much more slowly, so she couldn't complete the assignments.

o....k.

We have one empty office and one small workroom that were set up specifically for people to use for Zoom calls/meetings to keep as many as possible out of the open office area. Of course the loudest voice in the office refuses to use either one and stays at her desk bellowing into her camera all day long.

For the record, she self identifies as a "very loud talker". When reminded about the private rooms available her response was, "eh, it's just too much to move my computer in there".

Dear readers, her computer is a Microsoft Surface.

now that we're back in the office for at least several days per week there was a form created to request computer hardware things you might be missing

many people requested noise cancelling headsets

We were told we were all being supplied with noise cancelling headphones in September of 2021, apparently to "ease the transition back to in person work". We're still waiting.

over the past week, I totally busted my ass and did a ridiculously huge amount of work, really well, for a former client that still owes my org money. while this client sucks, I was really proud of my work, and it was something no one else had managed to do for years. So, I tell my co-worker about it. And he complains that I went out of my way to help this sucky client, and that I shouldn't have helped them. I explained that part of why I did it was to get them to pay some of what they owe us, part of it is so I can make connections for our org with the attorney representing this client, who could refer us to other good clients, and part of it is to prove that I could do this work. I was bummed out that my coworker didn't at least acknowledge the quality/impressiveness of my work.

I feel like I've gotten better with the work/life balance thing in the past few months though -- in the past, this reaction from my co-worker would have made me furious and/or super depressed, and now I'm just like "kinda bummed out" ...

"Neanderthal, since you didn't complete the assignment by today, I am closing the task. You can re-open if you choose to do later."

"I've literally never seen this assignment until today, and I don't see any instructions."

"You were sent an email with these details on 9/1", ~CCs my managers to try and make me look bad~

~address field clearly shows I was not included on the email~

nice try!

When I send you an email to set up a meeting for tomorrow or the day after to discuss a specific topic, that does not mean I want you to call me immediately to dive into said topic. There's a reason I was setting up a specific time to talk about it!!!

your co-workers are indeed stupid and annoying!

yesterday my co-worker had planned to come over to my house to work on a thing that was supposed to go out by the end of day. It has helped before, and this isn't the annoying part.

He was going to arrive around 11am. Between 11 and 1pm he not only did not arrive, but didn't respond to calls or texts. It turns out he was putting a tarp on his roof because it had started raining and he was concerned about leaks. Then, he spent another hour doing household chores, including installing plastic shelf guards in his fridge. Then he takes calls and sets up a meeting about a different project. Then he spends about 30 minutes looking at pictures of houses for sale that his wife sent because his parents are moving up here to spend more time with the grandchild. ... Then he works on the thing for about 30 minutes. Then he goes to the store and gets snacks ... and now I have a much better understanding of why he regularly is doing time sensitive work at 2am.

Legal nixed a long-standing web cam requirement in training because "without allowing exceptions and rigidly requiring this, we could get into trouble", so the requirement became a 'suggestion'.

which annoyed me because we never enforced it rigidly, if someone came to us and said "I went to the dentist and my face looks like a BlowPop, can I turn the camera off", we always said "yes", and it stands to reason that , like other processes, if you add governance to it/exceptions allowing people to opt out, it could perhaps work.

maybe not - I'm not a lawyer, but they didn't even TRY to have the discussion. the web cams are often helpful to the training as it creates more of a connection between the trainer and trainees. and people dont' turn them on if they aren't required to.