32. Cops enter through the front door of a residence.
Suspect flees out the back. Fire escape, bathroom window, or a back door that leads to a convenient alley.
Cops are somehow unprepared for this possibility, perhaps because it has only happened EVERY FUCKING TIME THE DO THIS.
And then they chase after the suspect while wearing suits and dress shoes.
― Cirque de Soleil Moon Frye (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 10 December 2022 23:36 (one year ago) link
33. someone is shot; partner yells ‘stay with me’
― mookieproof, Saturday, 10 December 2022 23:49 (one year ago) link
34. The maverick agent has no time or patience for legal niceties when thousands of lives are on the line and proceeds to extract the information from the suspect through use of threats/intimidation/electric shock to the nuts.
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Sunday, 11 December 2022 01:07 (one year ago) link
35. Cop fucks the DA
― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Sunday, 11 December 2022 01:37 (one year ago) link
36. Scared hostage, usually stuck-up Alan Ruck type, pees down trousers for laffs
― Chuck_Tatum, Sunday, 11 December 2022 11:07 (one year ago) link
in every cop show ever, my friends
― Pierre Delecto, Sunday, 11 December 2022 15:41 (one year ago) link
37. Captain has some dark secrets related to where they served 10-20 years prior that lead others to question/argue about Captain's integrity
― sarahell, Sunday, 11 December 2022 16:50 (one year ago) link
38. a perp draws on a cop, there is a moment of tension, and then BLAM! the cop is shot stone dead the cop's partner has in fact arrived on the scene and shot the perp stone dead at the last possible moment
― rick semper moranis (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 11 December 2022 16:53 (one year ago) link
39. richard belzer appears, essaying the role of john munch
― rick semper moranis (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 11 December 2022 16:54 (one year ago) link
40. A cop that is distraught over the death of his partner actually was behind their death
― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Sunday, 11 December 2022 17:12 (one year ago) link
41. You don't have jurisdiction here.
― Cirque de Soleil Moon Frye (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 11 December 2022 20:32 (one year ago) link
42. OOOOOOOBJECTION!OVERRULED!
― maf you one two (maffew12), Sunday, 11 December 2022 20:35 (one year ago) link
43. "Why isn't he here? He's our star witness!"
― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Sunday, 11 December 2022 20:36 (one year ago) link
...the cop's partner has in fact arrived on the scene and shot the perp stone dead at the last possible moment
Perp drops out a frame, revealing partner with gun drawn. Bonus points if there's a focus pull.
― Hideous Lump, Sunday, 11 December 2022 22:07 (one year ago) link
44. Endearingly nerdy computer expert in a parked van
― Cirque de Soleil Moon Frye (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 11 December 2022 22:30 (one year ago) link
45. Once main characters have just finished stopping the "bad guy" they relax and exchange final remarks - cue sound of approaching police sirens in the distance.
― Evan, Sunday, 11 December 2022 23:19 (one year ago) link
46. This is a relatively new one, but man, it's fucking EVERYWHERE: "Look out! Fentanyl! Don't let it out into the air or everyone in a five-block radius will overdose and die!"
fucken lmaooooo https://t.co/COHu4V9jUg pic.twitter.com/4Zc9AgzIUs— Siobhán Casey 🐀 (@PolygonalShivs) December 11, 2022
― but also fuck you (unperson), Monday, 12 December 2022 19:17 (one year ago) link
― Cirque de Soleil Moon Frye (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, December 11, 2022 5:30 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink
44a. Endearingly nerdy computer expert explains something to grizzled old veteran cop who says, "Give it to me in English!"
― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, 12 December 2022 21:02 (one year ago) link
753. Complex computer system hacked in three minutes with what looks like Microsoft Windows applications
― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Monday, 12 December 2022 21:18 (one year ago) link
46. Creepy outsider guy that everybody initially thinks is the girl's killer is not actually her killer
― Andy the Grasshopper, Monday, 12 December 2022 21:31 (one year ago) link
Fentanyl one is a nu-classic, I saw it awhile back in a Bosch episode when a cop opened up a box that had fentanyl and she dropped unconscious and Paul Calderon was like “everyone run!”
― omar little, Monday, 12 December 2022 21:41 (one year ago) link
47. Weary-sounding cop is woken at 4:00 AM by the phone. "Yeah. Aw shit. OK, be right there." Partner barely stirs in bed as cop lifts themselves out of bed and pulls on a pair of pants that have been sitting on the floor.
― henry s, Monday, 12 December 2022 21:41 (one year ago) link
47. Vicious killer winds up having info on a bigger fish and the DA cuts a deal behind the cops’ backs. “We’re cutting him loose.” “What? He killed those twelve women!” “He’s giving us Sanchez!”
Episode will end with grief stricken relative of victim gunning the killer down. Or maybe killing himself/herself.
― omar little, Monday, 12 December 2022 21:44 (one year ago) link
(48)
49. Sleazy informant can always be found at a run down dive bar in Chinatown
― Andy the Grasshopper, Monday, 12 December 2022 21:49 (one year ago) link
50. Jessica Fletcher.
― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 12 December 2022 21:52 (one year ago) link
51. An actor that played a completely different character two years ago is back as someone else and you're expected to accept it
― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Monday, 12 December 2022 22:16 (one year ago) link
52. Sleazy defense attorney points out obvious breach of protocol, suspect smiles across the courtroom at the detective while the bailiff removes his handcuffs and he's free to go
― Andy the Grasshopper, Monday, 12 December 2022 22:22 (one year ago) link
Dick Wolf is great for this — that guy who was a child molester in one episode three years ago? Yeah, he's one of the cops now.
― but also fuck you (unperson), Monday, 12 December 2022 22:23 (one year ago) link
53. Assistant DA: "That's too thin to write a warrant on."
― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Monday, 12 December 2022 22:44 (one year ago) link
54. Thorough strap down, check out, load up of various guns and weaponry in front of a wall of various weapons in an armory before heading out to the big showdown. Be sure to put small pistol and or dagger into boot.
― earlnash, Monday, 12 December 2022 22:54 (one year ago) link
fwiw: in every cop show ever
― pplains, Monday, 12 December 2022 22:55 (one year ago) link
https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--T4RVXIHp--/f_auto,q_auto/v1648248431/hondo-blue-steel-swat-s5e15
Hondo approves of this thread.
― earlnash, Monday, 12 December 2022 22:56 (one year ago) link
55. bathrooms don't exist
― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Monday, 12 December 2022 22:59 (one year ago) link
56. Detective actually tastes the dope to confirm it's pure horse (pre-fentanyl, obv)
― Andy the Grasshopper, Monday, 12 December 2022 23:01 (one year ago) link
57. Will-They-Or-Won't-They parts 1-75. Maybe it's the gruff detective and the brainy lab tech. Maybe it's the ambitious supervisor and the smarmy defense attorney. Maybe it's the hot forensic specialist and the slightly unhinged door-kicker. Maybe it's the two smartest women in the room.
We will waste at least a whole season on this.
They will try not to fraternize, because, y'know, complications. Regulations. Protocol.
But then there's that one stressful night on a tense stakeout. A bottle of wine gets opened.
Cut to rumpled sheets, a cell phone ringing. "Ugh, sorry, I have to take this." Dressing hastily.
The two participants have to try to arrive separately and hide their mussed state. Someone is wearing yesterday's outfit and the people in the squad room (or whatever) pretend not to notice.
I am not a cop or a troop or a fan of either, but these shows are total puffin-nip. You can engage with them episodically, or not. You can follow character arcs... or not. You can get exactly as engaged as you want, and exactly as disengaged as you want.
And here's the main thing: You will never run out. You physically cannot watch all of them - because they keep making more. In the time you spend watching all of CSI:NCIS:ICE-T:L&O:SEALS:FBI:BAU:LLCOOLJAG, they will have made more. Whole entire serieses have come and gone without my knowing, and yet the streaming devices can serve me up new copaganda bullshit with a slight caress of the remote. They require zero investment to watch and I can just put one on while doing laundry or crossword puzzles or whatever.
― Cirque de Soleil Moon Frye (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 12 December 2022 23:02 (one year ago) link
Netflix totally has me pegged with the Euro procedurals - "Look Andy, here's a new show about a missing girl and a slightly unhinged detective who doesn't play by the book.. but this one's in Iceland!!"
― Andy the Grasshopper, Monday, 12 December 2022 23:16 (one year ago) link
Lol
― Soda Stereo Total (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 12 December 2022 23:27 (one year ago) link
58. Detective needs to interview a convict in prison because they might have information pertinent to the current case. Police chief/partner/everyone expresses doubt about interview's success because the detective "was the one who sent him there"
― Elvis Telecom, Monday, 12 December 2022 23:47 (one year ago) link
59. Every cop acts/looks like the weight of the world's sins is grinding them into exhaustion, rather than they mostly process paperwork.
― blatherskite, Thursday, 15 December 2022 19:40 (one year ago) link
60. Cops regard journalists as bottom-feeding scum, though still toss back shots with one at the end of the day when passing on a tip. Often accompanied by letting their hard-ass mask slip as they reveal how haunted they are by a current or past case.
― blatherskite, Thursday, 15 December 2022 19:53 (one year ago) link
61. Off-duty cop on a barstool, shooting the breeze with the quirky female bartender he knows all too well. The bartender is clearly attracted to the mixture of heft, presence and existential pain.
― Shard-borne Beatles with their drowsy hums (Chinaski), Thursday, 15 December 2022 20:05 (one year ago) link
i love all 61 of these cliches
― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 15 December 2022 21:10 (one year ago) link
cop is shot, police chief comes out of room minutes after the cop is admitted, and tells concerned police "looks like he's gonna pull through", guaranteeing the cop will make a full recovery with no complication and no further worry or visits required.
― paranormal bully romance (Neanderthal), Thursday, 5 January 2023 19:08 (one year ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNCYpAmsySw
― earlnash, Thursday, 5 January 2023 22:59 (one year ago) link
63. Police run down and ultimately dismiss one possible suspect after another, each with some plausible motive and/or shady connection to the crime in question. In the end, the guilty party turns out to be someone who was never previously a suspect because the perps reasons for criming are very murky/borderline nonexistent but, hey, they were the last tertiary character left who isn't a child or a dog so whattayagonnado.
― Beautiful Bean Footage Fetishist (Old Lunch), Friday, 6 January 2023 00:13 (one year ago) link
Saw a cliché subverted, or at least sidestepped, tonight — two cops are interrogating a collegiate drug dealer when one suddenly collapses. I was sure they were gonna do an "Oh no! Fentanyl!" but it turned out he had a stroke (thus making room for a different cliché, the male and female detectives who misguidedly slept together once being re-partnered).
― but also fuck you (unperson), Friday, 6 January 2023 01:08 (one year ago) link
Addendum to 23: the Feds show up and are incompetent, borderline maliciously inept. Show finishes with lead cop, who has a particular emotional involvement with the case, punching out the lead Fed agent.
― Shard-borne Beatles with their drowsy hums (Chinaski), Friday, 6 January 2023 08:08 (one year ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dK0Hbf5rEY
― Elvis Telecom, Saturday, 7 January 2023 09:58 (one year ago) link
Can we talk about the cliched way crime dramas are promoted all over the world? This is a brief selection from the drama site on Channel 4's website - there's dozens of the bastards! The thing is they're from all over Europe (and beyond) but they're so interchangeable it's impossible to tell where they're from (unless you see the title). Miserable people standing around, sometimes at angles to one another, sometimes back to back; arms crossed or hands in pockets etc; usually staring grimly at the camera but, occasionally, in different directions. Also forests seem to be a popular backdrop.
https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYWY2NDllZjQtMTA3ZC00NWVmLTk0NGMtMzgxODllZWM0YTZiXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjMyMzI4MzY@._V1_.jpg
https://m.media-amazon.com/images/S/pv-target-images/0631242b79d9b7c471807b35168dfd5cc6e145c9fb21bff8d65b2633fd0e8a24.jpg
https://image.pbs.org/contentchannels/0UDLeVb-show-poster2x3-Gxq9utQ.jpg
https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BZDFjZDMxOGQtZjZiYi00ZDhhLWE2Y2MtZWM1Y2NlNGM5MTA5XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyODc5Mjc4Nzg@._V1_.jpg
https://resizing.flixster.com/-XZAfHZM39UwaGJIFWKAE8fS0ak=/v3/t/assets/p15825940_b_v9_ai.jpg
https://vodzilla.co/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/stockholm-requiem.jpg
https://is1-ssl.mzstatic.com/image/thumb/MQKs4fVqbuYFIfgxETpOQw/1200x675.jpg
https://images.aftonbladet-cdn.se/v2/images/8867571b-a005-4c1a-a2f1-c9a040f01847?fit=crop&format=auto&h=990&q=50&w=1500&s=e4ce5c9d0ac04f865e7e2c0d22d5695dcc9a9771
https://ic.c4assets.com/brands/before-we-die/e8b9e45a-b1a0-4f2a-9b26-5f06a3c21ad1.jpg
https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYWJiM2YwMmItMDE2OS00MGFkLThjZTItNGY1MjdkOTA0NmYxXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjI1Mjk5MQ@@._V1_.jpg
― Bulky Pee Pants (Tom D.), Friday, 19 January 2024 19:15 (eight months ago) link
Some more:
https://static.tvmaze.com/uploads/images/original_untouched/299/748211.jpg
https://ic.c4assets.com/brands/no-offence/68ce54fd-b072-4595-bec5-11e6500f8343.jpg
https://ic.c4assets.com/brands/nordic-murders/ff467e27-78b1-4daf-ae8a-93f9c8e59635.jpg
https://image.pbs.org/contentchannels/syLtHoT-show-mezzanine16x9-rTxODf1.jpg
― Bulky Pee Pants (Tom D.), Friday, 19 January 2024 19:20 (eight months ago) link
I remember seeing a tweet with a recent publicity photo of New Order done in that style with a caption about the new Manchester-set cop show "Blue Mondays".
― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 19 January 2024 19:25 (eight months ago) link
64. “bad cop” in the interrogation room becomes enraged at suspect’s smug self-possession and goes off the rails emotionally, throwing things around; “good cop” says their name to get them to stop; they don’t stop; name is said again but more loudly; finally “good cop” pulls the loose cannon aside and the next scene is the cops conferring on the other side of the one-way mirror, possibly with a superior
― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 20 January 2024 01:15 (eight months ago) link
LOL the latest L&O: orgainsed crime that aired this week did a ridic "omg fentanyl!" scene. Literally they had Jet the hacker girl lean into the cabin of a truck that transported a fent lab, for like 5 mins tops, and next min she is falling all over the place fainting. Ugh. The propaganda.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Saturday, 20 January 2024 07:51 (eight months ago) link