Tired Cliches in Police/Military Procedural TV Shows

49. Sleazy informant can always be found at a run down dive bar in Chinatown

50. Jessica Fletcher.

51. An actor that played a completely different character two years ago is back as someone else and you're expected to accept it

52. Sleazy defense attorney points out obvious breach of protocol, suspect smiles across the courtroom at the detective while the bailiff removes his handcuffs and he's free to go

51. An actor that played a completely different character two years ago is back as someone else and you're expected to accept it

Dick Wolf is great for this — that guy who was a child molester in one episode three years ago? Yeah, he's one of the cops now.

53. Assistant DA: "That's too thin to write a warrant on."

54. Thorough strap down, check out, load up of various guns and weaponry in front of a wall of various weapons in an armory before heading out to the big showdown. Be sure to put small pistol and or dagger into boot.

fwiw: in every cop show ever

https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--T4RVXIHp--/f_auto,q_auto/v1648248431/hondo-blue-steel-swat-s5e15

Hondo approves of this thread.

55. bathrooms don't exist

56. Detective actually tastes the dope to confirm it's pure horse (pre-fentanyl, obv)

57. Will-They-Or-Won't-They parts 1-75. Maybe it's the gruff detective and the brainy lab tech. Maybe it's the ambitious supervisor and the smarmy defense attorney. Maybe it's the hot forensic specialist and the slightly unhinged door-kicker. Maybe it's the two smartest women in the room.

We will waste at least a whole season on this.

They will try not to fraternize, because, y'know, complications. Regulations. Protocol.

But then there's that one stressful night on a tense stakeout. A bottle of wine gets opened.

Cut to rumpled sheets, a cell phone ringing. "Ugh, sorry, I have to take this." Dressing hastily.

The two participants have to try to arrive separately and hide their mussed state. Someone is wearing yesterday's outfit and the people in the squad room (or whatever) pretend not to notice.

I am not a cop or a troop or a fan of either, but these shows are total puffin-nip. You can engage with them episodically, or not. You can follow character arcs... or not. You can get exactly as engaged as you want, and exactly as disengaged as you want.

And here's the main thing: You will never run out. You physically cannot watch all of them - because they keep making more. In the time you spend watching all of CSI:NCIS:ICE-T:L&O:SEALS:FBI:BAU:LLCOOLJAG, they will have made more. Whole entire serieses have come and gone without my knowing, and yet the streaming devices can serve me up new copaganda bullshit with a slight caress of the remote. They require zero investment to watch and I can just put one on while doing laundry or crossword puzzles or whatever.

Netflix totally has me pegged with the Euro procedurals - "Look Andy, here's a new show about a missing girl and a slightly unhinged detective who doesn't play by the book.. but this one's in Iceland!!"

Lol

58. Detective needs to interview a convict in prison because they might have information pertinent to the current case. Police chief/partner/everyone expresses doubt about interview's success because the detective "was the one who sent him there"

59. Every cop acts/looks like the weight of the world's sins is grinding them into exhaustion, rather than they mostly process paperwork.

60. Cops regard journalists as bottom-feeding scum, though still toss back shots with one at the end of the day when passing on a tip. Often accompanied by letting their hard-ass mask slip as they reveal how haunted they are by a current or past case.

61. Off-duty cop on a barstool, shooting the breeze with the quirky female bartender he knows all too well. The bartender is clearly attracted to the mixture of heft, presence and existential pain.

i love all 61 of these cliches

cop is shot, police chief comes out of room minutes after the cop is admitted, and tells concerned police "looks like he's gonna pull through", guaranteeing the cop will make a full recovery with no complication and no further worry or visits required.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNCYpAmsySw

63. Police run down and ultimately dismiss one possible suspect after another, each with some plausible motive and/or shady connection to the crime in question. In the end, the guilty party turns out to be someone who was never previously a suspect because the perps reasons for criming are very murky/borderline nonexistent but, hey, they were the last tertiary character left who isn't a child or a dog so whattayagonnado.

Saw a cliché subverted, or at least sidestepped, tonight — two cops are interrogating a collegiate drug dealer when one suddenly collapses. I was sure they were gonna do an "Oh no! Fentanyl!" but it turned out he had a stroke (thus making room for a different cliché, the male and female detectives who misguidedly slept together once being re-partnered).

Addendum to 23: the Feds show up and are incompetent, borderline maliciously inept. Show finishes with lead cop, who has a particular emotional involvement with the case, punching out the lead Fed agent.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dK0Hbf5rEY

Can we talk about the cliched way crime dramas are promoted all over the world? This is a brief selection from the drama site on Channel 4's website - there's dozens of the bastards! The thing is they're from all over Europe (and beyond) but they're so interchangeable it's impossible to tell where they're from (unless you see the title). Miserable people standing around, sometimes at angles to one another, sometimes back to back; arms crossed or hands in pockets etc; usually staring grimly at the camera but, occasionally, in different directions. Also forests seem to be a popular backdrop.

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYWY2NDllZjQtMTA3ZC00NWVmLTk0NGMtMzgxODllZWM0YTZiXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjMyMzI4MzY@._V1_.jpg

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/S/pv-target-images/0631242b79d9b7c471807b35168dfd5cc6e145c9fb21bff8d65b2633fd0e8a24.jpg

https://image.pbs.org/contentchannels/0UDLeVb-show-poster2x3-Gxq9utQ.jpg

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BZDFjZDMxOGQtZjZiYi00ZDhhLWE2Y2MtZWM1Y2NlNGM5MTA5XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyODc5Mjc4Nzg@._V1_.jpg

https://resizing.flixster.com/-XZAfHZM39UwaGJIFWKAE8fS0ak=/v3/t/assets/p15825940_b_v9_ai.jpg

https://vodzilla.co/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/stockholm-requiem.jpg

https://is1-ssl.mzstatic.com/image/thumb/MQKs4fVqbuYFIfgxETpOQw/1200x675.jpg

https://images.aftonbladet-cdn.se/v2/images/8867571b-a005-4c1a-a2f1-c9a040f01847?fit=crop&format=auto&h=990&q=50&w=1500&s=e4ce5c9d0ac04f865e7e2c0d22d5695dcc9a9771

https://ic.c4assets.com/brands/before-we-die/e8b9e45a-b1a0-4f2a-9b26-5f06a3c21ad1.jpg

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYWJiM2YwMmItMDE2OS00MGFkLThjZTItNGY1MjdkOTA0NmYxXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjI1Mjk5MQ@@._V1_.jpg

Some more:

https://static.tvmaze.com/uploads/images/original_untouched/299/748211.jpg

https://ic.c4assets.com/brands/no-offence/68ce54fd-b072-4595-bec5-11e6500f8343.jpg

https://ic.c4assets.com/brands/nordic-murders/ff467e27-78b1-4daf-ae8a-93f9c8e59635.jpg

https://image.pbs.org/contentchannels/syLtHoT-show-mezzanine16x9-rTxODf1.jpg

I remember seeing a tweet with a recent publicity photo of New Order done in that style with a caption about the new Manchester-set cop show "Blue Mondays".

64. “bad cop” in the interrogation room becomes enraged at suspect’s smug self-possession and goes off the rails emotionally, throwing things around; “good cop” says their name to get them to stop; they don’t stop; name is said again but more loudly; finally “good cop” pulls the loose cannon aside and the next scene is the cops conferring on the other side of the one-way mirror, possibly with a superior

LOL the latest L&O: orgainsed crime that aired this week did a ridic "omg fentanyl!" scene. Literally they had Jet the hacker girl lean into the cabin of a truck that transported a fent lab, for like 5 mins tops, and next min she is falling all over the place fainting. Ugh. The propaganda.