Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here

every time Betamax resurfaces on here like some troublesome buoyant turd that won't flush down, this board loses quite a few percent of its vitality and the cunt quotient goes up at least a 100% - that much is for certain

jesssssssssus fuck guys, this is an ugly run of posts.

I mean it's no secret that gyac and I have not gotten along here in the past, but just about every grievance in this odd pile-on against her is unnecessarily hostile and bizarre (I mean, unperson was referred to, so I at least understand why he might have responded, though I thought the response was unnecessarily harsh). not to mention continuing to dredge up a year old post because you're sad that she didn't find it funny, Luna.

i'm a fuckup myself so i ain't saying I get it right often but yeesh, y'all, read back what you wrote in the sober light of day and realize how it looks and comes across. it's ugly. please understand what it looks like when a bunch of men are standing in line teeing off on a woman whose initial complaints were about sexism! i don't dislike anybody here but I dislike where this thread has gone.

Neanderthal

Just to correct a small point: I didn't continue to dredge up a year old post. In fact what happened is that whenever I commented recently on a Gyac post, she would say 'is this because I didn't laugh at your joke?' [Answer: no - you're overthinking it - I just didn't like your post]

You literally referred to it in all three of the posts I mentioned above?

I'd urge you to consider how you'd feel if you found yourself writing "this language was a way of inhabiting the mindset of a casual racist", and what might follow.

n theory I agree with NV, but I dislike the tone of posts that assume a superior attitude/greater moral or virtuous authority. And posts that attempt to thread-police like gyac's (pvic) are anathema to me.

ILM is a smorgasbord and it's better to take the foie gras and the wagyu beef with the pig swill rather than try to police it too tightly imo.

― Luna Schlosser, Wednesday, 1 February 2023 13:03 (three weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

You’re right, nobody should realise ilx is a community and say anything about anyone’s behaviour. Better to silently drop off. Better to hold grudges about jokes that didn’t quite work for a year, that’s obviously completely normal.

― here you go, muttonchops Yaz (gyac), Wednesday, 1 February 2023 13:08 (three weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

0sorry I messed up the quote highlighting there)

I’m going to lay it out nice and clear for you because that’s a take and a half. And by the way, in case you’re like “why so many screenshots?”, well I imagine the various posts in this shitshow of a thread have provided some clarity.

your initial post in my boundaries thread:
https://i.postimg.cc/VkZG6dC8/E53-BBA91-42-D0-433-C-829-F-08-E0918016-EE.jpg

you return to marvel at the fact I was too stupid to grasp your sophisticated joke
https://i.postimg.cc/VkZG6dC8/E53-BBA91-42-D0-433-C-829-F-08-E0918016-EE.jpg

You reference the exact same thing in a post in Left’s Beatles thread:
https://i.postimg.cc/pXx11NHg/F2-A4-F161-0-DFB-4-A1-C-92-AD-7723-CF896-A4-D.jpg

So after this you think you’re being misconstrued over repeatedly bringing this up? Really?

That post, btw, was where I was annoyed people were hijacking what was an interesting thread with barely veiled homophobia. Yeah, I know I said that upthread already, but there seems to be some difficulty with reading comprehension.

Oh sorry, I messed up the second screenshot, should have been:
https://i.postimg.cc/fRRqDxkC/3-B6-FEFED-D2-C7-4639-9337-D0-E333-D5-EF39.jpg

Luna, will you please take a break? Jesus.

But yeah table I’m not interested in doing so either, but after having to read absolute lies and shit about myself last time people decided to cash in their grudges, not letting it slide this time.

Neanderthal, thank you. I have people I’ve disagreed with on here here but not a single one of them deserves to be subjected to any stripe of bigotry, and I think you have to call it out cos otherwise it calcifies and well- you see.

What bit went over gyac's head? Out of interest.

a very stupid post by Luna Schlosser utilizing Northern Ireland as a metaphor. it was a dumb post!

and gyac called it out (rightly so imo) and it has become a whole thing

I don't see much there that would bamboozle anyone tbh.

Oh, you know what those Paddies are like!

Thread policing people's aesthetics or sense of humour yeah I guess it's probly best avoided unless it's heartfelt and/or funny

policing speech that's hateful or bigoted or approaches hate speech and actually drives people off site because of the atmosphere of discrimination it fosters = hell yes police the fuck out of it, if you want to furrow your brows about "what is discrimination really?" take it to one of the many many internet cesspits that tolerate that shit

^ ^ ^

What are the dividends on that project btw? Do we have an increase of women posters in the past two years? If yes, then 100% worth it.

― Van Horn Street, Wednesday, 22 February 2023 bookmarkflaglink

Pathetic.

I think we are now ready to unpack and discuss Ned's NED joke in the WC thread

I'm pretty sure we are all good people trying their best here, it would be easier if we all started with that assumption. There are ways of correcting unlikeable behaviour that doesn't require 'policing' per se.

I definitely don’t think you’re a good person, fwiw

Jesus fucking Christ lol

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/7c/Burn_film_poster.jpg/220px-Burn_film_poster.jpg

What’s funniest is that in many ways I agree with the first part of VHS’s statement— I do think most of us here are fine enough people, and even if we’re bad or wrong or difficult at times, that’s life. But there are some ideological positions that have no truck with me and for which I assume the worst in people, and VHS has shown themselves to support those positions at one time or another. So be it.

Really tho, I do like most of you, if you ever find yourself in Philly I will buy you a drink and introduce you to my cute dogs.

<iframe src="https://giphy.com/embed/11gC4odpiRKuha"; width="480" height="360" frameBorder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/the-simpsons-awkward-bart-simpson-11gC4odpiRKuha";>via GIPHY</a></p>

Really tho, I do like most of you, if you ever find yourself in Philly I will buy you a drink and introduce you to my cute dogs.

― Goose Bigelow, Fowl Gigolo (the table is the table),

at the same time?!

The dogs are bartenders

woof!

it's Philly, the dogs are allowed into the bar

There are ways of correcting unlikeable behaviour that doesn't require 'policing' per se.

― Van Horn Street, Wednesday, 22 February 2023 bookmarkflaglink

This is just nonsense. What are the other ways?

You don't like a post? Say something. It's nowhere near 'policing'.

gyac otm

Yes, I think unperson could have made their point with less transgressive language and no on would have had a problem with it.

Can these dogs mix a proper Negroni

I mean, this is an important question before we proceed much further

There are ways of correcting unlikeable behaviour that doesn't require 'policing' per se.

― Van Horn Street, Wednesday, 22 February 2023 bookmarkflaglink

This is just nonsense. What are the other ways?

You don't like a post? Say something. It's nowhere near 'policing'.

might as say the n word with abandon, we’re just pretending to be somebody who says that word!

and by “called out” I don’t necessarily mean a long winded boring self righteous parenting speech. I mainly just mean like “hey check yourself” kind of thing

xp I wasn’t sure if you were trolling with your truth bombs post & now that I know you weren’t, I just want to say thanks for getting what I was not saying explicitly

tbc when I otm'ed this comment:

just wondering how some people have the mental fortitude to pick fights with people over basically nothing on a daily basis. what do they get out of it? is it fun? I couldn't live my life like that.

― even the birds in the trees seemed to whisper "get fucked" (bovarism),

I had the U.S. politics thread in mind, though even that thread's been quiet.

pick fights with people over basically nothing on a daily basis

Um, isn't that like 17% of the internet?

The rest is porn and cat memes as far as I can tell.

Just take a fucking L dude.

Good advice, often difficult to take.

people struggle with taking L and apologizing (me included) because the other person is essential saying: "what you said wasn't acceptable and upset me - please do better" - perhaps harshly, but that's the essence of what is said.

and the person on the other end hears (even though it wasn't said or implied):

"You're an awful, irredeemable person, and I am done with you, and I am encouraging everybody else to never speak to you again as well - I hope you die alone!"

(which, ok, there are definitely bizarre wings of the internet, even social media, which treats every single conflict as earth-shattering and friendship-ending, but it's unfair to project that where it's not occurring)

obviously a lot plays into that, the stress of every day life having multiplied at a exponential rate in the last decade has many people highly wound and sometimes that hurts with processing this, but we have to do it anyway, and I regret the times I chose to instead blow up at people which is the wrong way to do it

xp I wasn’t sure if you were trolling with your truth bombs post & now that I know you weren’t, I just want to say thanks for getting what I was not saying explicitly

― better than whoever you are (gyac), Thursday, February 23, 2023 11:09 AM (thirty-three minutes ago)

gyac, I've been regretting that post since I made it, and I apologize. I was flustered and confused by the response it got, but I shouldn't have posted it in the first place and obscured the sexist dynamic you were describing. I also regret decontextualizing a post of yours without thinking about the possibility it might send negative attention your way; that was stupid of me (though I do think what you wrote qualified for the thread).

And yes, thank you to brimstead for responding appropriately

It’s ok rob, you are pretty sound and I know it wasn’t intentional. It kind of illustrated that thing I am always complaining about!

<3 thank you for being understanding!

the other person is essential saying: "what you said wasn't acceptable and upset me - please do better" - perhaps harshly, but that's the essence of what is said.

otm ... I know I have a tendency to blow up and lash out, and on ilx, I do think for the most part (in terms of contexts, not individual posters) ilx is good people, and when someone makes an "unacceptable" post, I try to de-escalate the situation and point it out in a way that is potentially less embarrassing to the person who made it ... there is so much garbage and misery outside of ilx, I don't really feel like increasing the garbage and misery on ilx.

But that's me ... and just because I have chosen to be more chill about things like young pussy, doesn't mean that I expect everyone else to handle upsetting posts the way I do. And dudes that emulate the traditional misogyny in our cultures ... should be prepared for responses like gyac's.

as in, I think all ilxors are good people in some contexts, but not all the time.

Otm. I also think hyperfocusing on whether you are a "good" person is counterproductive because it's binary thinking, plus implies a finality to that label when in reality the quality of your character is an always-evolving thing.

I am guilty of this mostly due to my anxiety/OCD symptoms but I feel better when I simply make my goal to help and prevent harm to others and just admit when I fell short.

But...in this social media age we tend to like easy labels sometimes.

I would like to point out that I generally try, with perhaps one exception, to criticise people’s posts, rather than the person themselves.

I don’t understand why some find this such a hard distinction, or whether the person is a good person irl matters. I mean, I’m sure they are, but it’s not relevant to the side of them they’re choosing to show on ilx, which is the only side we know in most cases. I know some of you irl now which is great, but then again the people I tend to gravitate to for that don’t tend to make these kinds of posts. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And finally, I like how my posts are quite calm and tbh even bland and yet several of the responders have characterised them as “shouting”, obtuse or otherwise irrational. I know that just one point has been discussed to death here but the attitudes are the issue - the comment I quoted was a useful example but it certainly wasn’t the only one.