THE BUSTED WINDOW OF CONTENTION WON'T STAY OPEN: THE NHL 2023-2024 SEASON THRED (INC KNIGHTS HANGOVER & PANIC MOVES. HOCKEY IS THE BEST)

https://theathletic.com/4716841/2023/07/25/patrice-bergeron-retirement-bruins/

Bergeron, done

RIP Perfection

Not to drag you into this cesspool, but there's now a hockey Immaculate Grid:

https://www.immaculategrid.com/hockey

I got 6/9 on today's Original Six-only grid...which was kind of a miracle.

Start flinging Sutters in there and see what happens

wanna see how many days in a row i can use jagr

today's grid really points out the ridiculousness of ~winnipeg jets franchise history~

no one cares about the sanctity of coyotes/thrashers records! give the old jets back to the new jets

seems like a lot of money/term for tom wilson, but when you find a guy who can score some goals *and* injure opponents you need to lock that down

Last week I looked at the 10 worst contracts in hockey.
Tom Wilson's new deal would've ranked fifth.https://t.co/2e7gUHw28i pic.twitter.com/B3qUxsfzr3

— dom 📈 (@domluszczyszyn) August 4, 2023

*points at thread title like Buck Turgidson*

https://thesouloftheplot.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/hellseethebigboard_drstrangelove1.png

I think only a caps fan could love tom wilson so probably all for the better for us lowercase folks

pretty pleased by this trade for the penguins

- brought in a 100-point right-handed defenseman
- dumped two of hextall’s worst acquisitions (granlund, petry)
- gained $3m in cap space?!?!

incredible for the habs too

so i guess that means the sharks lose? :(

Good trade on the books for PIT, but they are still incredibly old and top heavy (as befitting a 3-time champion refusing to tear it down).

oh, absolutely. but if you're gonna go for one last ride there's no point in doing it halfheartedly

btw sid turns 36 today ffs

Rip Rick Jeanneret

https://theathletic.com/4786304/2023/08/17/rick-jeanneret-nhl-obituary/

aww

MAY DAY

Ah, that sucks, always kinda felt like the Sabres were my second team

classic babcock

loooooool babcock out

do kind of hate bissonette being proved right tho

Biz is a major league chode, but this was one helluva scoop by him. CBJ is a super young team, Babs thought he could pull his old stunts with them, and instantly lost their trust. The team will be better off without him, and I don't think he'll ever coach in the NHL again. He's a bully.

Babcock departs with the fourth-best win percentage in Blue Jackets franchise history.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F6Zif8JW4AAO8ph.jpg:small

Sheesh.

TIL modano never busted 100 pts in a season

haha same

it's a great day for hockey

He is so smol

secondary assist for his first point, just like he'd always dreamed

off to a great start

I don't know that I hate ESPN showing a little graphic with the puck carrier's name, but it's very video game-y. Were they doing this last season?

this is not how I expected the first Canucks game to go

guys the sharks are 0-10-1

they have scored 12 goals and allowed 55

Shorks

Back where they belong

20 goals against in the last two games

what if they never win a game

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/second-former-blackhawks-player-makes-210303411.html

Absolute fucking garbage organization. In a just world they'd have their 2010 Cup vacated, Bedard removed from the team and sent to Anaheim and lost their right to playoffs and Top 10 draft picks for the next decade. Hell, even better if the organization was dissolved entirely, right down to their racist ass logo, but I know that's not going to happen.

jvc otm

oilers in disarray

Unhinged

I want them to get desperate and offer their first born for Carter Hart.

appreciate when coaches get fired after a win

https://www.espn.com/nhl/story/_/id/38896995/man-arrested-suspicion-manslaughter-adam-johnson-death

3 Canucks tied for the points lead, and Brock Boeser tied for the lead in goals.

This is not how I expected the first 16 Canucks games to go

went to the game against the Islanders last night, it was a blast

so today is native (american) heritage day, and marc-andré fleury, whose wife is first nations, wanted to wear a goalie mask designed by a native artist

and then the NHL said no
and then MAF was like, okay, i'll just pay the fine
and then the NHL said no, and also we will fine the hell out of the minnesota wild
and then MAF was like, okay, i'll just wear it in warmups
and the NHL still said no

and then it became a news story, and the NHL folded, and MAF is wearing it in the game tonight

i swear this league is run by the dumbest fucking people alive

Sure seems like it

the McD breakaway goal was a beauty. too bad he's allowed to high stick canucks with impunity.

oilers are such a one-line team, but their best line can still dominate half the game. hard to see it working against colorado or dallas.

was having steve nash flashbacks when quinn hughes was sent to the bench for bleeding from the uncalled high stick

From the glory days:

https://toronto.ctvnews.ca/ron-ellis-who-played-over-1-000-games-with-maple-leafs-dead-at-79-1.6883241

well at least the fucking rangers finally lost a game

after multiple slow motion/freeze-frame looks at that hit the other night, a new angle shows sam bennett absolutely sucker-punched brad marchand

🚨 New angle just dropped of Sam Bennett punching Marchand in the face 🚨 pic.twitter.com/fL8dNXWeR7

— Spittin' Chiclets (@spittinchiclets) May 12, 2024

otoh, marchand punches people an awful lot (if mostly after the whistle), so i can't say i feel too bad

at any rate this whole thing barely fired up the bruins for one period before they got completely outclassed

also

BROCK BOESER

― mookieproof, Sunday, April 28, 2024 8:03 PM (two weeks ago)

fuuuuck marchand forevs

this sort of stuff needs to be run out of the game. HOWEVER maybe marchand's nose will be straight after that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2eZiRrqes8

canucks still incapable of playing a normal game

intersting article on goalie positioning (athletic/nyt; sorry, not sure how to make an athletic gift link):

https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/5493020/2024/05/15/nhl-goalies-lundqvist-rvh

actually, maybe try this https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/5493020/2024/05/15/nhl-goalies-lundqvist-rvh/?source=emp_shared_article

disappointing

Canes really got all our hopes up for a second

no one should so badly blow a 3-1 third-period lead (leafs excluded) at home but carolina is a team explicitly built to *not* do that

oh yeah they’ll be thinking about that for awhile during the offseason

omg

picked a pretty good game to go to!

Canucks overcame some truly atrocious reffing

good luck sym

pucks to the net, boys

rip

those last few minutes...

what a fun team. I hope all the Oilers die in a fire

possible cup winners ranked:

preferred: edmonton
manageable: dallas
if we must: florida
never in this life or any other: rangers

agree

no time, no space

let's gooooooo

i'm tired

you can sleep now

i did!

boo

lafreniere's second goal today was a beauty

and then trouba (shocking, i know) threw a flying elbow to the head and only got two for it. that guy is a menace

kreider and zibinejad finally on the scoresheet, but alas, to no avail ;_;

took a while but lafreniere has become a beast

Both series could go either way. Come on Panthers.

dallas has 10 shots through 40 minutes

that's not gonna cut it

https://imokuareok.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/mk3.gif

I cant believe u knobs are rooting for florida over nyc

i have never forgiven adam graves

Points at darius kasparitis like turgidson

- in my division
- hated them for 45 years
- dolan
- deeply enjoy noting that they've won one cup in 84 years
- if only the canucks had hit fewer posts and more twine 30 years ago
- fuck mark messier and his mark messier award for people mark likes, like flying elbow artiste jacob trouba
- also i live here

i do respect the fans for 'potvin sucks' although i wonder how many know the stories

i don't like florida as a concept, or any of the tkachuks, and i have not forgotten the 1996 eastern (prince of wales?) conference finals, but . . . priorities

that's right