Real England

there's a Carnegie library in Hull, i didn't realise they were a thing

i mean it's probably not functioning as a library any more but there's a building

Ummmmm, I can think of another event…

Mair had already stolen all the Hitler books from Batley Library

last time I signed on I was sent to a *career advice* interview at Dewsbury Library, this was pre UC. Not many books there and it is a way too small a space to host a library, it's an ugly and grim 70's glass and concrete monstrosity of a building that is joined on to the job centre and seemed more to be purposed for shit like the Citizen's Advice Bureau. The og library was a large and attractive, actually quite stunning sandstone building that is a rundown unused banquet suite now. It got damaged and flooded during a fire and whoever owns it probably hasn't got the big bucks required for a renovation. This destruction happened under a Labour council, in the Blair years.

not that it didn't seem weird at the time, but the whole Captain Tom Moore phenomenon feels really incomprehensible three years on with covid lockdowns long over

https://cdn.ecommercedns.uk/files/9/243909/1/13739141/il-fullxfull.jpg

https://c8.alamy.com/comp/2FND49N/bronze-resin-statues-of-the-late-sir-captain-tom-moore-who-raised-over-37-million-for-the-nhs-the-statues-were-created-by-clark-sculptures-2FND49N.jpg

https://l450v.alamy.com/450v/2fnd4ek/bronze-resin-statues-of-the-late-sir-captain-tom-moore-who-raised-over-37-million-for-the-nhs-the-statues-were-created-by-clark-sculptures-2fnd4ek.jpg

https://imgs.heart.co.uk/images/218698?crop=16_9&width=660&relax=1&format=webp&signature=5p3JzkcISAy9d_1ViBL9uzsZjMs=

have they signed on Michael Caine for the biopic?

never before was do much grift committed on so many by so few

xp they haven't announced a lead for this yet, but it's being directed by the guy who did Slade In Flame and the Sting version of Brimstone and Treacle

https://www.standard.co.uk/showbiz/captain-sir-tom-moore-to-begin-filming-autum-2023-director-richard-loncraine-b1082443.html

No-one (apart from on here) wants to admit the whole thing was organised as a grift by the psycho daughter to pay for her house extension! I guess it all spiralled out of control.

the description of the film in that article doesn't make it sound like it will be bad, but a film that focussed specifically on the 'grift that spiralled out of control' angle could have potential as a black comedy

doesn't make it sound like it will be good, rather

slade in flame is great

also i kinda want to read his three (3) books which he wrote in one (1) year

Start your year with the uplifting and heartwarming life lessons from a truly inspirational man, Captain Sir Tom Moore

'Full of the infectious energy that inspired the nation' Daily Mirror
'A dose of wisdom from a British hero . . . A paean to the power of positive thinking' Daily Telegraph
________

'One small soul like me won't make much difference' Captain Tom

If Captain Tom's big heart and generosity of spirit helped see us through difficult days, this was his parting gift.

In Life Lessons, Captain Tom has shared all that he learned from living a full and vibrant life. With cherished anecdotes and his signature humour, these heartening life stories will teach you how to:

· Be comfortable with who you are
· Keep smiling through the tough times
· Walk in someone else's shoes
· Keep an open mind
· Find your purpose

·What happens at genocide club stays at genocide club
·You can't choose your fckin kids

Captain Tom's daughter defends decision to keep book profits

Following from Sir Captain Tom's example I will also be writing three (3) books in one (1) year.

the year he managed to have one and a half shits a week without soiling or wetting himself or making an embarrassing grope at a female carer was the point his daughter realised this old mofo could be MONEY!

i've lived in the UK all my life and am vaguely familiar with its media culture and therefore the Sir Captain Tom story is all too comprehensible

I've only briefly holidayed there and same

I feel like the whole episode should be made into a modern-day Ealing comedy like Kind Hearts and Coronets, directed by Ben Wheatley, maybe?, and with a cgi Alec Guinness playing all the members of the Moore family.

this cinematic masterpiece must include the daughter's brother-in-law's legendary attempt to cheat by strategic coughing on who wants to be a millionaire

daughter's brother-in-law also played by holographic alec guinness obv

(also in the course of hunting these exciting facts down i discovered that CsT was once on blankety blank)

*downs another bottle of softly herbacious capt tom gin*

Do we have a solid lead on Major Charles Ingram being Colin Ingram's brother? Would love it to be true but I haven't actually found anything substative, think it might be a canard that gets repeated because it would be so perfect.

Captain Cum definitely was on Blankety Blank though, a christmas episode no less

facts: good enough for modern-day ealing IMO

(yes i think it's an internet artefact firmed up by AI)

have they signed on Michael Caine for the biopic?

― Andy the Grasshopper, Thursday, 12 October 2023 20:30 (two days ago)

Sir Michael Caine has confirmed he has retired from acting, following the release of his latest film.

retired from acting many years ago amirite?

His final film has just been released.

Just heard him on the radio. He's written a novel. Spare us.

only supposed to blow the bloody dust-jacket off

this is some Real England shit right here

Workers on London’s Millennium Bridge are hanging a bale of straw under the structure after triggering an ancient bylaw.

Repair works to the footbridge mean straw must be dangled to warn oncoming boats of the work going on beneath it.

According to the Port of London Thames Byelaws, clause 36.2: “When the headroom of an arch or span of a bridge is reduced from its usual limits, but that arch or span is not closed to navigation, the person in control of the bridge must suspend from the centre of that arch or span by day a bundle of straw large enough to be conspicuous and by night a white light.

weak sauce! the REAL real england is the yearly paying of the QUIT RENTS = a blunt knife, a sharp knife, six horeshoes and 61 nails, for two parcels of land of uncertain location in shropshire and hertfordshire, rent now paid annually for some eight centuries

https://www.liverycompanies.info/fellowship-of-clerks/sheriff-matters/quit-rents.pdf

https://Twitter.com/mrjacklowe/status/1715788692298608954?s=46&t=zQbxLGLurMqWqcXnRpq5zA

Chiltern Railways apologise for David Bowie pic.twitter.com/YQe2lHUKha

— simon read (@simonnread) October 25, 2023

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23911145.elderly-couple-threaten-go-police-meal-brewers-fayre/

i understand, it’s a lot

brewers fayre

I’ve never heard of a chicken allergy.

look i think we can agree they're deeply irritating people with too much time on their hands who shouldn't be encouraged and indulged by the gutter local press without calling them liars

they both have the allergy it seems

and they are both FURIOUS

if I had a chicken allergy I would simply not order the chicken item

i would order "left* ribs no chicken"

*to include right ribs

s/b "none chicken left* ribs"

*includes right ribs

gimme the surf and turf, double the turf, no surf

so… two steaks then?

NO!!!! i’m allergic to fish!!!!!! *loses mind*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYHFMBAwZho

https://i.imgur.com/cgr8UKg.png

They keep getting Normaler and Normaler. pic.twitter.com/EkvxTlQsjV

— Chłoddy (@OfSymbols) November 13, 2023