This is a thread for ILXORS IN THEIR 50's

Once you get into any of the NBC Mystery Movie series that aren't Columbo the end is in sight

Yay colonoscopy time again! It was fine, tho the prep pills this time made me throw up in addition to their intended effects, so that wasn't fun. The propofol remains pretty amazing to me, just like "OK you're going to take a nap ..." and then you wake up in a different room with the thing all done.

So many of my friends have gotten divorced in the last five years. I somehow thought if their marriage made it this far, it was for good, but ... no, the 50s (or late 40s) is when it's happening.

See it all around you, good lovin' gone bad

.38 Special tried to warn us.

Among a not-very-large group of friends, I've seen long-term relationships of 23, 18 and 8 years break up over the last few years. The two longest seemed to be solid from the outside.

There was a MAD cartoon when i was a kid in the 70s with an old married pair grumpily adjacent to each other which went like “we only stayed together for the kids, now we have no one but each other,” and well— my generation doesn’t want to settle for that maaaan

Went Outside for a work social lunch (and worked in the office) today and my Everthing is giving me Jip. Owwww.

this is like the platonic ideal of (australian?) sentences i do not understand

Sounds like you're quankers in the kulabaroo, mate!

keep it civil, nick!

I still have hair on my head whilst others of my batch are nake-headed - this is something to gratefully nod

I can take being a hunky, balding sex symbol. Life throws much harsher shit at you than a receding hairline.

I went way too long between colonoscopies, but the prep is now a lot better than it used to be--two cups of an undrinkable fluid as opposed to two whole Gatorade-sized bottles about 15 years ago. But yeah, the anesthetic is amazing. One minute they were telling me to lie on my side, the next they were shaking me awake.

When I had mine I woke up on the table, so could watch my colon being probed live. No discomfort, and the doctor didn't seem alarmed that I was awake.

if I can avoid this stuff by living on a diet of All-Bran and rabbit food - I will do to spare me this body-horror indignity, at least until I finally manage to drink myself to death!

may I recommen d Metamucil?

I put Benefiber in all water that I drink. I’m not in my 50’s, but I may be one day. I’ll be ready.

I'm not either but I'm observing a colonoscopy in 2 weeks and I'm so excited.

I guess there is a point where you have to overcome the awkwardness of being trapped inside an ape-like body with a point where stuff that goes in takes a route through your body and has to go out for the sake of functional bodily health. I'm not that squeamish these days, but that would be very testing for me.

this is like the platonic ideal of (australian?) sentences i do not understand

Wait, what bit was weird/unclear? My everything - all me joints - are giving me jip! Its not an australian saying btw, I cadged that from Granny on Metal Mickey. Now I think about it, its probably vaguely racist, I dunno.

yeah, 'jip' by any spelling has probably fallen out of favor

My late father used to say 'niggardly' which is a real word that he used correctly, but it always made me feel uncomfortable

wasn't sure what Your Everything was

no idea what Giving Me Jip meant

(i've heard of 'being gypped' -- yes, racist -- but my sense of it is 'being robbed' which doesn't quite match up to Your Everything)

never heard of Metal Mickey

it's cool though! honestly i encourage you to confuse me a la grunge speak!

Yeah gyyped is from gypsy but I take it what T is saying means pain.

Gyp is sometimes spelled jip. 'Gyp pain' or 'jip pain' might be caused by an uncomfortable but not serious ailment, usually described as 'a bit of gyp/jip'. It might also be severe and ongoing, as in 'that hip replacement is giving me gyp/jip'.

In other news, my shoulder hurts for no reason

In other words, welcome to the 50s.

re: T pain, yes "giving me gyp" is oldstyle Aus slang for "acting up", UK derived, apparently not from the derogatory term for Romani / travellers, but from the notion of having "Egyptian tummy" when unused to foreign food, hence pain.
https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/gyp.html

also my shoulder is giving me gyp as well

Metal Mickey was uk kids TV series about a robot. Mickey dolenz from the Monkees was involved. it'll be on YouTube.

(also a suede single iirc)

I'm intrigued by all the colonoscopies in this thread. In the US do you all get regular colonoscopies once you hit 50? Definitely not the case in Australia, unless you have some specific reason. Here they offer you a kit where you have to scrape off some of your poo and stick it in a tube to get tested in a lab

yeah the only way i know the term is from the first suede album and i was mystified by it i wondered if it was some rhyme slang thing xp

oh no they open a tv studio up yer a hole and have a good long look behind the scenes to make sure theres no polyps hanging out in there

aaand i will add for XYs who are 50+ or any age: if you ever need a prostate biopsy— same venue, same prep as colonoscopy, but in addition to a video studio they bring in heavy demolition equipment— you may be longing for the oppty to get high and zonk out that is a colonoscopy. /oldsoversharing

In the US do you all get regular colonoscopies once you hit 50?

Yeah, it’s a standard recommendation. I think they’re maybe even dropping the start age to 45 now. I did my first one in my 40s because of some mild family history on the topic. I’m sure this is all driven to some extent by the gastroenterological industrial complex — it’s a big money maker. The place I go is a big, sleek suburban complex that is basically an assembly-line operation. One of the nurses told me they do up to 50,000 a year between three locations.

Both of my grandfathers had colon cancer, I should have a scope permanently stuck up my ass.

They have dropped the age to 45.

I waited until 50 and found I had 7 polyps, so I have to get another one in two years.

I should have a scope permanently stuck up my ass.

I believe that's called the ColoGoPro

My late father used to say 'niggardly' which is a real word that he used correctly, but it always made me feel uncomfortable

My mom got in trouble for this. She was a 6th grade teacher at a private school, and for a get-to-know-you class exercise she had the kids all turn their names into acronyms with each letter starting a word that described them. She did it too, and because she has an N in her name she used "niggardly." In retrospect not a great choice, but I think it honestly didn't occur to her. One kid mentioned it to their parents and Mom got called in for a meeting with the principal. She had to get out a dictionary and show him it wasn't any kind of slur, but she still apologized to the class for insensitivity. Fortunately this was pre-social-media era so there was no viral uproar.

a lot of friends who turned 50 recently have been invited to shit in a box by the nhs as some kind of colon cancer screening. wasn't a thing 6 years ago so I've missed that fun. might just do it anyway.

i did the cologuard test thing. but that was a while ago.

i was happy to do that instead of a colonoscopy.

I am good now until my early 60s, after two scope sessions plus one surgery to remove a difficult polyp

pro tip for drinking the stuff: aromatherapy! I was taking big sniffs of crushed fresh mint in between gulp sessions

If I'm shitting in a box it's getting mailed to a politician, not a lab.

Xxps lol @ eephus

Pretty much as soon as I turned fifty two years ago I got both my shingles vaccine and first colonoscopy booked. Strictly speaking the latter was a poo test first, being blunt; as some blood was detected the colonoscopy was ordered up on the safe side, and all was well aside from one minimal non-cancerous polyp. (TMI, granted, but these are the practicalities of the situation, and frankly I will always take the opportunity for tests, vaccinations etc. if offered or recommended -- though of course it doesn't hurt at all that I always had solid insurance coverage.)

I'm not sure there can be TMI at this age. Only going to get MI from here on out.

I still gotta do the shingrix. Keep putting it off because of the reports, being sick for two days etc. But if I get shingles I’ll be kicking myself.

do it, way better than shingles

The vaccine was terrible for me, but you gotta do it.

It's €250 here! Astronomical!

I'm intrigued by all the colonoscopies in this thread. In the US do you all get regular colonoscopies once you hit 50? Definitely not the case in Australia, unless you have some specific reason.

Yeah that was my experience. I have a family history of bowel polyps so was urged by my mother to ask for one, which I reluctantly followed up, only to have the hospital gastro dept say to me "why are you asking for this, you're too young?". This'd be when I was about 46 or 47 I guess? I did get it done after mentioning the fam history and in the end I did have polyps that I had to get removed (its been 5 years and they hounded me for a follow up recently but I honestly cant be arsed, too much other health crap going on).