Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...

I don't know what the p-word means on either side of the Atlantic tbh.

... oh hold on, no that is not advisable in the UK.

Hyperbole in the workplace in a positive matter? Absolutely classic. Would love to be called a star for my regular work tbh

― #1 García Fan (H.P), Monday, October 30, 2023 8:53 AM (thirty-six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

It feels demeaning in some way when it's for really simple things. If it were something amazing that would be one thing but for literally everyday tasks I'm responsible for it's weird.

sometimes it can be used as a pretext to shit all over you later.

subtext being 'i said nice stuff to you before so i'm not a monster now that i'm saying really nasty stuff'

Agree with ENBB - saying someone is a star generally comes from above; there’s no way the receptionist is telling eg. a director that they’re a star for some small nice thing but a director handed a cup of tea by the receptionist will absolutely tell them what a star they are.

I called the woman who went out of her way to make me up a bag of donuts a star the other day and I definitely meant it

I mean most words can be used to patronise this is true but sometimes you're just legit elated when somebody does something for you

anyone can call anyone a star ime

Todd Rundgren can

I completely get what ENBB and suzy are talking about, lol it’s pretty much my mother’s mo

context matters I guess. I do often do what NV does and lavish people who take care of me with praise.

in conclusion,

anyone can call anyone a star ime

favorite Sly & The Family Stone song

re British hyperbole and "brilliant", I have heard British people complaining about Americans saying everything is "awesome"

idc about either fwiw

back in mIRC #metal chat in the eons before social media one of my friends used to get tired of my other friend calling every music release "amazing" so he'd type AMAZINGS! mockingly every time he used the word.

Suzy - yes!! I can't explain it really I just really really hate it. I do lots of things that would actually warrant the comment but it's more often said after things like literally sending one email or getting someone a coffee and I almost always cringe and just wish they'd said thanks.

I have also heard British people complain about awesome but lol come on. Hyperbole is their specialty!

I think I probably say "brilliant" more sarcastically than sincerely tbh

In the work setting where you are a worker and the ‘star’ compliment comes from someone up the hierarchy, it’s cringe. In other settings where a person is serving you, and they do something extra, you calling them a star isn’t as bad (but is still a compliment given to someone who is of service to you and not someone who you are serving).

Fuckin' magic, by the way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASGgn8bNQuA

star is bad, but rock star may be even worse

because that's not only cringe, but also it's rockist

no one at work has ever called me a pop star :'(

Cheers for that, amazing stuff, you're a top DJ producer

Great work! You're one of Rolling Stone's Top 250 Best Guitarists!

Being told you're a star is the "that's a lovely dress you're wearing" of work compliments, it's sort out of randomly doled-out unthoughtful praise, because the idea of consistently valuing somebody who works for you is too scary and difficult

the proper response of course being "thanks, now let's talk about my pay"

i just think that you can imagine a phrase used every day in pleasant interactions across the world as fulfilling that function in specific cases and you're well within your rights to do so

id stop you short of "this is therefore what that phrase means" because its really not

I hear 'you're a star' all the time at work. It's phatic speech, innit? - shorthand for 'thanks for helping me out/sorting that thing/generally being amenable and not a dick'.

I'm with ENBB and Suzy here -- it's equivalent to when I am working as a server and I do what someone asked me to do (my job) and they say "you're the best"

The first few times in my life that someone told me that I was "the best" I was sincerely flattered and felt seen. When someone says that after I bring them what they asked me to bring them, it feels hollow and condescending.

YES

It's too much and feels phoney. Thanks really is sufficient.

"Thanks, I really appreciate it."

I think the offensive part is in the “you’re a/the (superlative)” — “thank you” is more than enough and it is nice when someone says they appreciate something I did. Because the focus is on them, not me.

I’d appreciate this minimal probably required interaction not representing my personal worth. I know ppl do it in a tossed-off way and still I think it’s worth noting the alternatives are superior for everyone involved in the interaction.

I’m even a fan of “I appreciate you” because it’s not a referendum am I good y/n it’s an appreciation.

I love “I appreciate you.” This is the worst fucking thread. :-(

I don't think I have ever heard "I appreciate you" outside the southern U.S., but I am a fan.

I have, and it’s a perfectly nice thing to say.

When I drove a school bus many of the kids would give me a card on the last day of school, usually handmade and 9 times out of 10 the inscription (crayon or felt tip marker) said I was "the best school bus driver in the world". Even though roughly half of the other drivers got the same cards with the same inscriptions. I knew the sentiment was sincere and unforced because only half the drivers got them.

Different topic: "What's the best X, and why is it Y?"

E.g., "What's the best Dylan album, and why is it Blood on the Tracks?"

It's like the formula where you ask yourself a question and then answer your own question. Especially if you're pitching yourself a softball that is irrelevant to the discussion at hand.

"Do I deplore this X? Yes. Do I also oppose this Y? Yes."

"Uh, Senator, the question was about Z."

"appreciate you" is nice and uncondescending imo but i usually hear it in the context of getting in trouble for something

once had a "real" "corporate" job for about six months (company was sold) and within a week of being hired was called a "rock star" for returning an email. wow i thought: the big time!

afraid i really like "it is what it is" tho i almost never say it. the inanity is the point-- a momentary humble pause in our frenzy to express-- tho of course there is a cop/gangster usage of it that attempts instead to impose that humility on another.

I thought of one. "tell me you ___ without telling me you ___". hate it

Wrong answers only.

“A very surreal experience” used to refer to literally anything outside the confines of one’s regular life

i was just thinking about how when i was a kid one of the worst things you could be called was "conceited". "She is so conceited!". and how i never hear that word anymore. always seemed like a weird word for kids to use. "stuck up" made more sense.

"I hope this email finds you well."

"He is him" after any athlete makes a fine play in sports

xp "She is so conceited!". usually meant "how DARE she feel good about herself" or "who does she think she is"
if a guy was full of himself it was (ime) usually totally ok, even desirable. i am glad to see all of this fall out of favor. it's so mean and cynical and usually hurled at girls.

"I hope this email finds you well."

Beginning in late 2020 I started including "Hope you're staying safe and doing well." in most emails. I don't always do that still, but sometimes I do.

https://images.fineartamerica.com/images/artworkimages/mediumlarge/3/how-your-email-finds-me-emily-bernstein.jpg

[SITE OF MASSACRE] STRONG

and/or a football game suggesting resilience in the face of mechanized death