This is a thread for ILXORS IN THEIR 50's

if I can avoid this stuff by living on a diet of All-Bran and rabbit food - I will do to spare me this body-horror indignity, at least until I finally manage to drink myself to death!

may I recommen d Metamucil?

I put Benefiber in all water that I drink. I’m not in my 50’s, but I may be one day. I’ll be ready.

I'm not either but I'm observing a colonoscopy in 2 weeks and I'm so excited.

I guess there is a point where you have to overcome the awkwardness of being trapped inside an ape-like body with a point where stuff that goes in takes a route through your body and has to go out for the sake of functional bodily health. I'm not that squeamish these days, but that would be very testing for me.

this is like the platonic ideal of (australian?) sentences i do not understand

Wait, what bit was weird/unclear? My everything - all me joints - are giving me jip! Its not an australian saying btw, I cadged that from Granny on Metal Mickey. Now I think about it, its probably vaguely racist, I dunno.

yeah, 'jip' by any spelling has probably fallen out of favor

My late father used to say 'niggardly' which is a real word that he used correctly, but it always made me feel uncomfortable

wasn't sure what Your Everything was

no idea what Giving Me Jip meant

(i've heard of 'being gypped' -- yes, racist -- but my sense of it is 'being robbed' which doesn't quite match up to Your Everything)

never heard of Metal Mickey

it's cool though! honestly i encourage you to confuse me a la grunge speak!

Yeah gyyped is from gypsy but I take it what T is saying means pain.

Gyp is sometimes spelled jip. 'Gyp pain' or 'jip pain' might be caused by an uncomfortable but not serious ailment, usually described as 'a bit of gyp/jip'. It might also be severe and ongoing, as in 'that hip replacement is giving me gyp/jip'.

In other news, my shoulder hurts for no reason

In other words, welcome to the 50s.

re: T pain, yes "giving me gyp" is oldstyle Aus slang for "acting up", UK derived, apparently not from the derogatory term for Romani / travellers, but from the notion of having "Egyptian tummy" when unused to foreign food, hence pain.
https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/gyp.html

also my shoulder is giving me gyp as well

Metal Mickey was uk kids TV series about a robot. Mickey dolenz from the Monkees was involved. it'll be on YouTube.

(also a suede single iirc)

I'm intrigued by all the colonoscopies in this thread. In the US do you all get regular colonoscopies once you hit 50? Definitely not the case in Australia, unless you have some specific reason. Here they offer you a kit where you have to scrape off some of your poo and stick it in a tube to get tested in a lab

yeah the only way i know the term is from the first suede album and i was mystified by it i wondered if it was some rhyme slang thing xp

oh no they open a tv studio up yer a hole and have a good long look behind the scenes to make sure theres no polyps hanging out in there

aaand i will add for XYs who are 50+ or any age: if you ever need a prostate biopsy— same venue, same prep as colonoscopy, but in addition to a video studio they bring in heavy demolition equipment— you may be longing for the oppty to get high and zonk out that is a colonoscopy. /oldsoversharing

In the US do you all get regular colonoscopies once you hit 50?

Yeah, it’s a standard recommendation. I think they’re maybe even dropping the start age to 45 now. I did my first one in my 40s because of some mild family history on the topic. I’m sure this is all driven to some extent by the gastroenterological industrial complex — it’s a big money maker. The place I go is a big, sleek suburban complex that is basically an assembly-line operation. One of the nurses told me they do up to 50,000 a year between three locations.

Both of my grandfathers had colon cancer, I should have a scope permanently stuck up my ass.

They have dropped the age to 45.

I waited until 50 and found I had 7 polyps, so I have to get another one in two years.

I should have a scope permanently stuck up my ass.

I believe that's called the ColoGoPro

My late father used to say 'niggardly' which is a real word that he used correctly, but it always made me feel uncomfortable

My mom got in trouble for this. She was a 6th grade teacher at a private school, and for a get-to-know-you class exercise she had the kids all turn their names into acronyms with each letter starting a word that described them. She did it too, and because she has an N in her name she used "niggardly." In retrospect not a great choice, but I think it honestly didn't occur to her. One kid mentioned it to their parents and Mom got called in for a meeting with the principal. She had to get out a dictionary and show him it wasn't any kind of slur, but she still apologized to the class for insensitivity. Fortunately this was pre-social-media era so there was no viral uproar.

a lot of friends who turned 50 recently have been invited to shit in a box by the nhs as some kind of colon cancer screening. wasn't a thing 6 years ago so I've missed that fun. might just do it anyway.

i did the cologuard test thing. but that was a while ago.

i was happy to do that instead of a colonoscopy.

I am good now until my early 60s, after two scope sessions plus one surgery to remove a difficult polyp

pro tip for drinking the stuff: aromatherapy! I was taking big sniffs of crushed fresh mint in between gulp sessions

If I'm shitting in a box it's getting mailed to a politician, not a lab.

Xxps lol @ eephus

Pretty much as soon as I turned fifty two years ago I got both my shingles vaccine and first colonoscopy booked. Strictly speaking the latter was a poo test first, being blunt; as some blood was detected the colonoscopy was ordered up on the safe side, and all was well aside from one minimal non-cancerous polyp. (TMI, granted, but these are the practicalities of the situation, and frankly I will always take the opportunity for tests, vaccinations etc. if offered or recommended -- though of course it doesn't hurt at all that I always had solid insurance coverage.)

I'm not sure there can be TMI at this age. Only going to get MI from here on out.

I still gotta do the shingrix. Keep putting it off because of the reports, being sick for two days etc. But if I get shingles I’ll be kicking myself.

do it, way better than shingles

The vaccine was terrible for me, but you gotta do it.

It's €250 here! Astronomical!

I'm intrigued by all the colonoscopies in this thread. In the US do you all get regular colonoscopies once you hit 50? Definitely not the case in Australia, unless you have some specific reason.

Yeah that was my experience. I have a family history of bowel polyps so was urged by my mother to ask for one, which I reluctantly followed up, only to have the hospital gastro dept say to me "why are you asking for this, you're too young?". This'd be when I was about 46 or 47 I guess? I did get it done after mentioning the fam history and in the end I did have polyps that I had to get removed (its been 5 years and they hounded me for a follow up recently but I honestly cant be arsed, too much other health crap going on).

Ha.... can't be "arsed" roffle roffle.

I finally got a colonoscopy at 59 and they found two polyps, both benign. They said come in in 5 years for the next one and here it is 7 years later (but I'm gonna do it, I swear!).

Also have an enlarged prostate (and higher than normal PSA readings) so have had that biopsy too - negative.

Prostate screening is complex and erratic in the UK. The NHS website tells you this:

There's currently no screening programme for prostate cancer in the UK. This is because it has not been proved that the benefits would outweigh the risks.

This thread is rough compared to the last one I was in.

First post by a deceased ilxor. Second post namechecks a deceased ilxor. Third post asks, What if we got lost in the 50's amirite.

I guess I'm not used to being the baby in the room.

welcome little bro <3

wow i was only 40 yrs young then, and i had so much optimism. ooh, and my teeth, i had those, too! ahh, what a time.

See, I'm like What's mookieproof doing in this thread? Weren't we just teasing him about looking like Jason Giambi?

You know... in 2005?

i was never that sweaty

dag

On a good day, like today, I feel so very on top of the world. Life is on cruise control. Nothing to prove, nobody to impress, just being me.

Safely married and housed and gainfully employed. Kids thriving and on their way to something resembling independence.

Then I remember that two weeks ago I was trying to get through a day without having a nervous breakdown, from the sheer pressure to keep up the appearance of being a functional adult.

For me it's really very binary: either everything's great or I'm a complete dumpster fire. Wish I could set a comfy middle.

is lowerbck pain the price we all pay in our 50's from being the upright vertebrates instead of horiozontal like nature seems to have intended

tis why i walk at least 3km a day.
i used to go swimming a few times a week,
but then the pandemic kicked in,
and i realised that a good-n-fast walk helped just as well, and such options were free.
if i don't head out for a few days then yeah, my lower back begins to lock up.

Yup, my morning walks, on top of my walks to work and back, are key things for me.

my family keeps tryna get 50+ me to stop my 10+ hrs/wk of outdoor shit (i mean, i broke my right clavicle for the 4th time this summer).

but i’m like- if i quit i might
1) die
2) drink harder
3) start smoking, it sounds relaxing and pleasurable and i do like a pipe
4) see if i can gain 100 lbs in a year just to piss you off and i like feeling accomplished