rolling “Trump is gonna win” containment thread

Reminds me of the time a coworker microwaved scallops.

I've never tried that. Did they explode?

My sense of smell did.

we had an employee microwave squid on his final day, as a big fuck you to everyone... you could smell it EVERYWHERE

A live squid?

All we had was PB&J, and we liked it that way.

lol the year I lived in the UK as a kid, my sister and I were the weird immigrants bringing weird peanut butter sandwiches to school.

Imagining shoving a whole squid in a small work microwave

Worktopus

Respectowiggle.

lol my sister once hid a (dead, small) squid inside an ice cream sundae as a prank on me

she could not contain her mirth so I probed it suspiciously and discovered the horrible truth, we still joke abt it years later

Is It A Good Idea to Microwave This?

TIL not all squid are huge

i certainly agree with JB that Trump doesn't have anything like a majority of support unfortunately the electoral college makes that somewhat irrelevant

His campaign very cannily focused on the key electoral states in 2016. I don't think the Biden campaign is going to repeat the Clinton campaign's mistakes. They certainly didn't in 2020.

His campaign very cannily focused on the key electoral states in 2016. I don't think the Biden campaign is going to repeat the Clinton campaign's mistakes. They certainly didn't in 2020.

Yeah, this is what gets me about the whole "Trump is guaranteed victory because the Electoral College." You don't think Biden's team knows about the Electoral College? What, you think they're gonna spend all their time, money and energy on New York, California and Delaware? This campaign, which has not begun yet, is gonna be like Sherman's March.

I’d weeded/unsubscribed from all political emails over the past year or two, but was startled just now to scroll through my texts and realize I’ve been receiving (and ignoring) texts from like 15 PACs/orgs. All deleted and blocked now.

Don't get me wrong, I think the Electoral College should go the way of the codpiece, but until it does we have to deal with it and strategize for it.

Also, Trump and his "people" didn't do themselves any favors by working to disenfranchise millions of voters in those states.

I'm actually wearing a codpiece right now, not sure I fully understand

yeah this codpiece slander is not welcome here

Trump Promises Vivek An Administration Position Running The White House 7-Eleven https://t.co/1cYOX4IWUx pic.twitter.com/SojL5OZDAj

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) January 16, 2024

gosh you just hate to see stuff like this

Painfully unfunny

Babylon Bee makes Borowitz look like Richard Pryor

Babylon Bee is a right-wing version of The Onion if any of you didn't know it already

right-wing and racist, it would seem

the people who don't know the Bee is satire are usually conservatives, cos their satire style has no flair or subtlety whatsoever, and these people are really dumb.

there was this unhinged older lady named Li$a who used to do some of the Follies shows at the local community theatre and she had some of the worst brainworms and was often getting in arguments with other theatre people about politics online. one day she pulled out a Babylon Bee article as evidence that she was right, and I pointed out that it was a satire site, and she said "oh bullshit, who are YOU, Neanderthal, to tell me this is satire? who says?". I said "literally the front page of the website says". she kept insisting that it was not satire even after having that pointed out.

didn't elon buy twitter in part bc he was outraged that the babylon bee had been banned?

another brilliant business decision

Babylon Bee is a right-wing version of The Onion if any of you didn't know it already

― Dan S, Tuesday, January 16, 2024 8:09 PM (forty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

right-wing and racist, it would seem

― Andy the Grasshopper, Tuesday, January 16, 2024 8:10 PM (forty-four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I think we all know this. what makes it funny is vivek getting racisted by the racists he tried so hard to court

idk

cc Bobby Jindal

Who, tbf, is a wretched human being

it’s a lot funnier w/ vivek for obvious reasons

what makes it funny is vivek getting racisted by the racists he tried so hard to court

definitely not

Amanda Marcotte on the evangelicals that went big for Trump in Iowa.

"Landslide" is hyperbolic considering low turnout and just breaking 50% which is the bare minimum for the almighty orange Jesus.

Talking of evangelicals I was listening to an interview with Tim Alberta who has wrote a book on evangelical voters in the Trump era from the perspective of someone who was brought up in that community and was the son of a preacher man, ooh yes he was. He's a really neat and considered speaker though, without knowing anything about his politics which may be dreadful idk.

idk what conclusions you can draw from this, I mean for one none of the other candidates are serious people, none of them are willing to attack him for his many many weaknesses, none of them are even willing to acknowledge that he's a criminal, every one of them said unequivocally they would pardon him, the only reason they are still running is in case he dies or actually does go to prison

They're not just unserious, they are profoundly dishonest, toadies and lickspittles feigning the pose of challenger while also feigning the role of Trump supporter. Humiliating for them all, and ridiculous for the GOP. What future does it have, post-Trump?

Who cares? Fuck'em.

Not much of one at all, which may help explain why they are still somehow rallying around this piece of garbage. Pushing all their chips in the space marked, "get Trump to win and let him knock down the remaining pillars of democracy for us".

Chris Christie tried the approach of actually attacking Trump. It didn’t work out for him. Maybe a flawed messenger.

i learned from clicking through that Amanda Marcotte piece about the cravenness of Iowa evangelicals that Adam Kinzinger said _rump literally smells like a butt and frankly, I enjoyed that. There's no way he smells anything but terrible.

idk why i clicked on this thread but part of it was because the press was being extremely hyperbolic about the overwhelmingness of this win. 51% is not a landslide.

Yup. And 31% of Republicans said they wouldn't vote for him in the general if he's convicted.

La Lechera, watch that Hayes clip to which I linked. He agrees with you.

In the 1992 Iowa Democratic caucus Tom Harkin won with 76%. Bill Clinton received 3%. That was a landslide.

Who cares? Fuck'em.

I mean, not even with your dick. But yeah, while I'm happy to see em burn in hell, it's genuinely baffling what they imagine the future holds for them, though their stock-in-trade bigotry is an enduring product, obvs.

Alfred's right. I grew up in a Republican-domianted state (until Blagojevich, Illinois was a reliably Republican state once you got away from Chicago) and I honestly think one of the big reasons it's become solidly Democratic is because the relatively moderate Republican platform that governed Illinois for decades no longer exists for the Republican party anywhere in America. Yes, George Ryan got nailed for corruption, but Blagojevich didn't turn out well either. When Jim Ryan (no relation) lost to Blagojevich in 2002, former governor Jim Edgar was at the newsdesk on one of the major channels to provide commentary, and an anchor asked him if Jim Ryan's staunch pro-life stance ended up hurting his campaign. Without hesitation, Edgar gave a firm yes, adding "if you want to be governor of Illinois, you HAVE to be in the middle, you HAVE to be pro-choice." Two years later, when all the controversy with Jack Ryan's divorce (no relation - too many Ryans in the GOP at the time) caused him to drop out, the national GOP installed Alan Keyes, a batshit insane candidate who now seems par-for-the-course compared to the GOP today. He was so bad, every major Illinois Republican in state office - including former governor Jim Thompson, Judy Baar Topinka, etc. - immediately condemned the shit he spewed on television and without hesitation endorsed Obama, saying they'd vote for him. I remember thinking, maybe the national GOP will take a lesson from this instead of continuing down the same dark path, but they've left a cinder block on the accelerator ever since.

i learned from clicking through that Amanda Marcotte piece about the cravenness of Iowa evangelicals that Adam Kinzinger said _rump literally smells like a butt

So does Iowa, much of the year. Pig butt, specifically

Breaded pig butt, specifically.