Real love -- I'm, like, searchin' for that Queer Love -- LGBTQIA+ Love // A Thread for the Real Ones

yeah seriously

vintage gay porn mags sound amazing of course. i used to collect veeery old pics of college athletes (early-mid 20th c basketball, track, rowing- the ones who are practically nekkid) but it's been years.

btw i really like your suggestion about the sledding pics, and i think i'm gonna do it if it snows again!

the problem with showing myself as an adult child on apps is ppl thinking it's a kink thing. which would be fine except it very much is not in my case. it's a nice way to disclose that i don't have my shit together, tho.

i mean like are you wearing a onesie while you're sledding? why would you look like a child! people sled!

lol no no
i meant like how the guy on the train was wearing a hat like this:
https://nirvannadesigns.com/cdn/shop/products/ch_koala_shot_for_website-square-1000px__10643.1641872588.1280.1280.png

and idk if that's a vibe i should be putting out there but evidently it is a good way to hook yourself a Deflatormouse

i meant that map's suggestion is a good way to get around that tbc

ngl i have a tiger one of those hats but it was a gift and i have not worn it in many* years

*1 or 2

ok what was the best gift you ever got from a SO and what was the best one you ever gave?

(i'm more into the doing something romantic kind of presents than giving stuff, that counts too)

i mean i think a tiger hat would be SUPER hot

but that's just me, like i said i've been leaning into kink

it says, let's go to the "petting zoo"?

I admit that I am mostly attracted to twink types and older guys who work out to some degree— pretty much a “skinny to prison fat” spectrum. (If you don’t know what prison fat is, it’s the sort of chunky guy who obviously can bench press like four times his weight and is built like a barrel).

Best gift SO ever gave me? When my husband re-spooled and refurbished one of my favorite tapes that had become unspooled.

Best gift ever for SO? I got the husband a huge mound of clay a few years ago because he said he was interested in ceramics— now he makes ceramics as one of his main hobbies.

both of mine are poetry-related:

given to me: when my father died my husband wrote a beautiful poem about him and gave it to me.

given to him: i wrote my husband a mesostic using his name for his 40th birthday. he had it framed and it hangs on the wall in his study.

the best gifts i've had from so's have probably been rocks.

i'm not a great gift-giver tbh. not you all though, those are lovely gifts.

young pine carved us a stunning little figurine. that's my real answer. the rocks are wonderful though, i look at them every day.

i love getting gifts where you're just stunned and in awe, maybe even confused and not sure how to respond, and they sink in and make sense over time.

Otm

so i'm about to go through this ridiculous thing
of like shedding a lifetime of codependency and shit, i'm excited
but also like can we just get it over with already
jfc

I gave my love a cherry that had no stone

I actually lost my gift-compass when I started dating my bf, he's such a fastidious and thoughtful gift-giver that it feels aggressive, competitive. After I got him new Blunstones for Valentines he emergency ordered something else for me because he felt outdone or something. Then he took the Blunstones back to exchange them for a different colour. His birthday is coming up. I am terrified

map i do not think i’m a great gift-giver either! i even opted out of my last workplace’s secret santa party the last few years lol. my partner’s 50th is this year and i want to do something big for it but i have no idea what to do and i’m a lil nervous about it tbh

both of you should just give your partners a good birthday spanking and call it good

swen how did it go last night??

dude it's not even last night it's that i'm moving soon - and shedding a lifetime's worth of absolute fuckery. like GET THE MAN WITH THE VAN over here right now i can't take it anymore.

also i am truly awful at gifts. like you might as well ask me to learn brail overnight.

ahhhh i gotcha. excited for you.

i'm selfish in some borderline distasteful ways and one of them is just never thinking about gifts for anyone bcz it stresses me out.

SAME. get your own damn gift.

lol

There are so many things that I’m bad at (hello dyspraxia) that I’ve finally learned to value the things I’m good at - and buying presents is one of them. I LOVE gifting!

<3 <3 <3

hey mike, that's awesome!

the throup has a running joke about this hilarious utah-based company called minky couture. you gotta click through for the vibe. they make these super red state femme cheap-ass throw blankets. utah girl realness on all of their billboards and ads. anyone who says "minky couturure" in the most repellent nasal whine imaginable gets an automatic laugh. anyone who drops the word "minky" at any time gets an automatic laugh. i already know we're gonna have to make a date out of visiting the "flagship store." the other thing we're always joking about is the song "higher" by creed.

omg i love higher

(lol)

if any of you good gift-givers want to buy me a minky, i will post a photo of me and my baes wrapped in it to this very thread.

xp haha! i've never felt so bad about myself for liking a song, it's delicious.

My fella wears his coolness lightly. Last night, he walked past my office, while I was streaming Beyoncé’s Texas, and remarked, accurately, that it sounded like Rhiannon Giddens was playing on it. That flummoxed me. Then this morning, amongst other birthday gifts, he gives me the phenomenal Sofia Kourtesis album (ILM’s #2 of 2023) on CD. Yeah, I’ve been doing some research, he says. Double flummox!

I saw in my Special Day at midnight by dancing to a pre-prepared mix of Gina G, Saint Etienne, Tatjana and Nicki French, in a big circle at the bar up the road, surrounded by friends old and new, and feeling proper hashtag blessed.

I’ve been enjoying all the recent sex chat on this thread, and if this was on 77 then I’d engage further, but given what nearly happened to me in bygone days, via some unmissed ex-members, while I had a more public profile, I’ve stepped away from that degree of sharing. (They were plotting to publish the Gaydar profiles of three gay Guardian writers. It didn’t happen.)

! the bright ones are always gonna bring out same haters

awful

I've met several queer ILXers, we have not hooked up. We needed minky coutour.

We did glance at each other appreciatively

we sure did

i haven’t met many of you, tbh— and many whom I have met are no longer on ILX. I think it’s just Swen, Stevie D, and plax, of the OG ILX gays.

oh and duh, donna rouge

(we have interacted enough outside of ILX that I sometimes forget that DR and I met via ILX)

but back in the day I spent some nice times with Morbz, elmo argonaut, and l0u. still have yet to meet J0rdan or map!

tbh this is making me want to do a roll call

I've met fgti and Stevie D once, l0u twice, and became friends with Kevin, Morbz, and sarge.

My ILX IRL meet-ups are all ancient: Tom Ewing, Lex, Matt DC, mark s, William Swygart, Marcello. Although recently I met Camaraderie At Arms Length on Zoom, when he guested on our podcast.

ran into Sarge a the door of a club once!

also Rob Irwin is single 😓

oh wait -- I met lex twice

tabes i have a fuzzy memory of meeting you briefly at 77 boardrum in l.a. is that totally off?

oh wow, maybe very very briefly— i met Ned that day too, very briefly. was it in the press area?

somewhere around there i think. basically just a 30 second 'hi' so understandably easy to forget. we'll probably be making it out to philly this summer - we should meet up!

I do remember this now! Yes! That weekend is a little hazy in my memory, tbh.

Would love to hang this summer!