Real love -- I'm, like, searchin' for that Queer Love -- LGBTQIA+ Love // A Thread for the Real Ones

map i do not think i’m a great gift-giver either! i even opted out of my last workplace’s secret santa party the last few years lol. my partner’s 50th is this year and i want to do something big for it but i have no idea what to do and i’m a lil nervous about it tbh

both of you should just give your partners a good birthday spanking and call it good

swen how did it go last night??

dude it's not even last night it's that i'm moving soon - and shedding a lifetime's worth of absolute fuckery. like GET THE MAN WITH THE VAN over here right now i can't take it anymore.

also i am truly awful at gifts. like you might as well ask me to learn brail overnight.

ahhhh i gotcha. excited for you.

i'm selfish in some borderline distasteful ways and one of them is just never thinking about gifts for anyone bcz it stresses me out.

SAME. get your own damn gift.

lol

There are so many things that I’m bad at (hello dyspraxia) that I’ve finally learned to value the things I’m good at - and buying presents is one of them. I LOVE gifting!

<3 <3 <3

hey mike, that's awesome!

the throup has a running joke about this hilarious utah-based company called minky couture. you gotta click through for the vibe. they make these super red state femme cheap-ass throw blankets. utah girl realness on all of their billboards and ads. anyone who says "minky couturure" in the most repellent nasal whine imaginable gets an automatic laugh. anyone who drops the word "minky" at any time gets an automatic laugh. i already know we're gonna have to make a date out of visiting the "flagship store." the other thing we're always joking about is the song "higher" by creed.

omg i love higher

(lol)

if any of you good gift-givers want to buy me a minky, i will post a photo of me and my baes wrapped in it to this very thread.

xp haha! i've never felt so bad about myself for liking a song, it's delicious.

My fella wears his coolness lightly. Last night, he walked past my office, while I was streaming Beyoncé’s Texas, and remarked, accurately, that it sounded like Rhiannon Giddens was playing on it. That flummoxed me. Then this morning, amongst other birthday gifts, he gives me the phenomenal Sofia Kourtesis album (ILM’s #2 of 2023) on CD. Yeah, I’ve been doing some research, he says. Double flummox!

I saw in my Special Day at midnight by dancing to a pre-prepared mix of Gina G, Saint Etienne, Tatjana and Nicki French, in a big circle at the bar up the road, surrounded by friends old and new, and feeling proper hashtag blessed.

I’ve been enjoying all the recent sex chat on this thread, and if this was on 77 then I’d engage further, but given what nearly happened to me in bygone days, via some unmissed ex-members, while I had a more public profile, I’ve stepped away from that degree of sharing. (They were plotting to publish the Gaydar profiles of three gay Guardian writers. It didn’t happen.)

! the bright ones are always gonna bring out same haters

awful

I've met several queer ILXers, we have not hooked up. We needed minky coutour.

We did glance at each other appreciatively

we sure did

i haven’t met many of you, tbh— and many whom I have met are no longer on ILX. I think it’s just Swen, Stevie D, and plax, of the OG ILX gays.

oh and duh, donna rouge

(we have interacted enough outside of ILX that I sometimes forget that DR and I met via ILX)

but back in the day I spent some nice times with Morbz, elmo argonaut, and l0u. still have yet to meet J0rdan or map!

tbh this is making me want to do a roll call

I've met fgti and Stevie D once, l0u twice, and became friends with Kevin, Morbz, and sarge.

My ILX IRL meet-ups are all ancient: Tom Ewing, Lex, Matt DC, mark s, William Swygart, Marcello. Although recently I met Camaraderie At Arms Length on Zoom, when he guested on our podcast.

ran into Sarge a the door of a club once!

also Rob Irwin is single 😓

oh wait -- I met lex twice

tabes i have a fuzzy memory of meeting you briefly at 77 boardrum in l.a. is that totally off?

oh wow, maybe very very briefly— i met Ned that day too, very briefly. was it in the press area?

somewhere around there i think. basically just a 30 second 'hi' so understandably easy to forget. we'll probably be making it out to philly this summer - we should meet up!

I do remember this now! Yes! That weekend is a little hazy in my memory, tbh.

Would love to hang this summer!

I am also pondering a trip for my 40th in October, and part of me really wants to go bouldering in Joe’s Valley for a few days— so if that happens, maybe we can hang twice in a year!

oh awesome! yay to hanging out. i had no idea joe's valley was a bouldering hot spot, that's cool. there's an incredible rock art panel not too far from there called the rochester panel, we stopped by there last fall. if you fly into slc, definitely let us know.

listen to this it's practically sleepless in Seattle in here

lol

aw i hope you guys make it happen! Love the thought of 2 of my favorite ilxors hangin out

As far as i know i have only met a couple of ancients like D0ugla5 W0lk but NYC is a small world

I keep to myself a lot these days but feel free to say hi if you're in town, queers.

For sure. I've been lax about keeping up with the ILX queers. I hit NYC at least twice a year.

the rocks are wonderful though, i look at them every day.

Penguins give each other fancy rocks as a courtship ritual, so that's a good instinct.

xp Alfred I'd love to meet ya

my ex had his engagement party last night! it was a surprise. isn't that cute? I was invited but circumstantially couldn't go. so so happy for him though. I have a date on Monday and I guess I'm looking forward to it but the sexual attraction could be greater. does that ever increase in the early days

no

i'm so not the kind of person who would or could ever go to an ex's engagement party. hope you're treating yourself well this weekend.

ugh so you're saying the date will be a bust

my hot take is that if there isn't something special grabbing you up front it's better to cut and run, but maybe give it a few more dates / hangouts, like 3 or less.

just my style ymmv

i just don't understand why the hot guys always have to be such putzes

my chill has literally left the building with the dumbasses, like i used to be able to tolerate it

we def had a special conversation spark, this guy, and this would be the first date so i guess i'll give it a go for practice and then figure it out.

my chill has literally left the building with the dumbasses, like i used to be able to tolerate it

oh for sure. did he putz out over messages or something?

there's this guy we were texting a lot last summer. he's hot but kind of a putz. he desperately wants love but needs to give a lot more to himself. not to get all oprah about it but it's true.

omg i love that you're getting all Oprah about it. i so know those guys. no no just to be clear - the "hot guy" thing wasn't referring to this guy. more just wishing there were a blend lol.

these people with the calling card faces. like did they ever have to work for anything. i know it's so reductive but like, some things are. i dunno ugh i'm being a b****.

haha yeah i feel you. "calling card faces" is good. i ignore em. i've got a uhhm body now so i get looks from those types sometimes. it feels kinda great to pretend like they aren't there lmao.