Real love -- I'm, like, searchin' for that Queer Love -- LGBTQIA+ Love // A Thread for the Real Ones

that's so funny donna

yeah i mean i dunno what to tell you, i've come to know my proclivities so well i wish i could like draw in police chalk on the bed to demonstrate where i'm going to be happy, yaknow, like let's maximize this impact

basically i grew up on porn but only, like, a _very specific subset_

not force feminization oddly enough. the stuff i am into is however _very_ subtextually linked to my transness. that's not really obvious on a surface level - if anything it tends to get seen as extremely cishet and patriarchal - but when one starts digging into it there's a _ton_ of trans shit in there.

sometimes i worry that the porn ruined my ability to enjoy myself with a partner, that i developed interests so specific i might as well have become a british scholar

my fetishes aren't _practical_, is the thing. i mean not impractical in the same sense that mpreg is, admittedly. still, "gee, i wish i could be thrown in a basement in chains and made to drink from a dog bowl for a week" is pretty impractical. (i actually saw a great meme yesterday where someone was talking about having that fantasy because they didn't want to make a phone call, which i found _very relatable_.) for one thing, none of the houses around here have basements. for another, who the fuck _owns a house_ these days? most damningly, even if i did somehow happen to get tied up in a basement for a week, i'd still probably still have to make that fucking phone call when i got out. part of me suspects that a _lot_ of ND fetishes are based around anything that will let them avoid making phone calls.

i've seen memes blaming the younger generations' inability to cum on these extremely specific fetishes, and it's _probably_ some "avocado toast" bullshit? but i don't know for sure.

the main thing is that i was absolutely never interested in penetrative sex. that was i liked about porn, there was so much porn _without sex_ in it. i feel like i have basically the same, like... physical desires as anybody, and i guess for a lot of people it's natural and intuitive what to do with it. it wasn't ever for me. even masturbation, i had no idea what that was or how to do that. basically i kind of stumbled on it by accident, fairly late into adolescence. i still don't know that i ever did it "right". it wasn't a pleasant discovery. honestly i spent a lot of time "edging", actively trying to avoid orgasm. maybe that's why i have so much difficulty. or maybe it was the antidepressants. i don't know. anyway, now that i don't have genital dysphoria it doesn't feel _wrong_ the way it did before, but it doesn't happen any more easily.

i have had multiples. the weird thing about multiples is that when people talk about them they talk about it as if it happens serially? and i don't experience it like that, for me, i have, like, multiples at the same time. like i'll be in the middle of one and another one will start up. it's pretty disconcerting and awkward and having two orgasms at once isn't really any better than just having one. i'd rather just be able to have them serially.

porn is different, like... i find that i'm interested in different things. the whole thing about "audio porn". when i was on T i reacted a lot more strongly to visual stimuli, and on E i'm way more sensitive to audio stimuli. it's the sense of _time_ that's the challenging thing. again maybe it's the ADHD thing. i'm supposed to follow along with something linearly, use my imagination linearly, and i drift off, i go in different directions. i can't focus on one idea long enough for it to reach a conclusion. same reason i don't like music during sex. i'd just listen to the music and lose interest in the sex. it's not that sex is _boring_ per se, it's just that i get easily distracted.

had an incident recently where i was "hunted"
i just froze, didn't scream for help, didn't try to fight the guy off. smiled and nodded, gave agreeable one word answers. he turned a corner, there were too many people, he freaked and fled. nbd, it might have been, but nbd- the worst thing is i blame myself for being so passive, and so does everyone else. but i think about, like, if i had tried to scream no sound would come out.

― A street taco cart named Des'ree (Deflatormouse)

no the thing is that's literally what i'm into, literally what i _want_. that's kinda why that contrapoints video was interesting... it's dangerous to say something like that, that i _want_ to be hunted, that i'm into the whole skatt bros "walk the night" thing (incidentally i heard somewhere that the skatt bros were marketed as "the straight village people" and i can't understand that, how did _anyone anywhere_ interpret that song as _heterosexual_), because people will think it's open season on me, and it's not. i want more than anything else to be hunted, but i got the right to determine who gets a hunting license. that's what these creeps don't get.

are there analog porn snobs?

xp

― A street taco cart named Des'ree (Deflatormouse)

i am _absolutely_ an analog porn snob. not in a sh.tv sense, but in the sense that porn is about _atmosphere_, and that atmosphere is very dependent on the material conditions under which that porn is produced. i also have kind of an autistic taxonomy thing for vintage porn, and i am greatly disappointed that niche porn doesn't tend to get properly archived. you do have some folks like vinegar syndrome who do a lot of work with some of the vintage stuff, but there's _so much_ out there that the best you'll get is these kind of haphazard, poorly converted _something weird_ digitizations. just as an example you can look at, like, irving and paula klaw's work, movie star news and so forth. pretty well-known, mostly for the couple things they did with bettie page, but they did _way_ more than just that. a whole lot of different things. all the negatives were destroyed in a panic when law enforcement started coming after them, but there's no catalog of what still exists in terms of, like, prints. just random pictures. like the original media isn't so important to me, it's more the artifacts of their production.

one of my favorite things about porn is the non-porn aspects of it. the stuff that kind of reflects the circumstances under which it was made. shag carpeting. a tv in the background playing "all my children". hotel rooms of the early 1980s. it's not just a physical act, it's the _setting_. contemporary porn? shit, i could do that myself. for me there's always been something of _nostalgia_ in porn, or maybe retrofuturism. the relationship of _time_ (or the lack thereof) and _causality_ to porn, that's what interests me. i have had fantasies that are kind of like porn equivalents of "ubik", the way these ideas manifest themselves in different time periods.

like i said. my fantasies aren't always very practical.

i also really love the non-porn aspects of vintage porn. there's something so delicious about seeing evidence of lives that are halfway between mundane and glamorous.

and god those 80s motel rooms, i just want to live in that world sometimes

Jean Dickman, 23 Sierra Hwy, Lancaster Best Western

sorry

love it. i mean the 70s/80s were an EXTREMELY hot time. if for the body hair ALONE (wtf happened there, is there any porn made today with body hair that isn't on daddies?)

the 70s are my comfort zone

yeah i def have a taste for vintage interiors. libraries of the 1970s are really great, there's one in columbus, in that looks amazing- i have an old nat geo with pics

vintage stuff in general- i like imagining who owned it, did they wear this to a party etc

"halfway between mundane and glamorous" is otm.

there's this photo book of demolished paul rudolph homes, i think it's called "when you left, they took it apart" where i feel a real sense of abandonment

"seduct-o-sleaze" otm but lol @ eve 6! that's priceless

i like the idea of having memories of sex associated to certain music (lol @ Ravedeath 1972), you should totes write that book

to get an idea of the vintage smut i am talking about , look up Mel Roberts. classic California scenes

oh yeah, this is what every LVC spring/summer lookbook was trying to be?

i'm into this stuff for sure

but i'm assuming it gets more pornographic than my google image search turned up

sexay

found it, very soft!

Great post

lol

lol.

I have a signed copy of his book California Boys, as well as a few issues of BOYS magazine that a friend sold me for very very cheap.

It is soft, but lord the man knew how to pick models and take a good photograph.

now some of these models seem very much like your type Tay
maybe people only started getting sexy in the 70s, like i can't really imagine 60s porn

haha. yeah i think California Boys is what i was looking at initially when i said "lvc catalog", i like the visual style but had to add "porn" to my search to find anything NSFW
i like the visual style, the boys look good nekkid, very chill, not the usual porn vibes.

I mean a lot of his most iconic photos were taken on the tail end of the 60s.

All the guys go crazy for Sean Patrick, who was Roberts’ lover for a while, but my favorite model of his is Tommy Jameson, featured here. Something about those steely blues and that toothy grin and that…

Anyway, link NSFW obv

If anyone is interested in vintage porn, tho, that blogspot I linked is the place to get an education.

omg. now how old do you think he is?

you like those bedroom eyes!

oh he’s probably 20 or so. he has a tattoo.

very handsome, you know i like brown hair. well what an interesting career that must be. you know modeling is such a skill.

I wish they all could be California boys

i don’t think it was a career for most of them.

he is handsome! i also like clean cut boyish guys (not exclusively).
the blog is cool, i don't really think of this as porn tbh, these are just nudes, many not even nude.

the thing is, and i hesitate to say this b/c i don't wanna ruin it for anyone... I THINK SOME OF THESE BOYS ARE STR8 :(

oh absolutely— but it’s also important to recognize the context for a lot of this stuff.

the physique pictures of the 50s and 60s often captured bodybuilders and such, yes, but Mel Roberts and a few others were attracted to a different type— street toughs, men on leave (or kicked out) from the military service, hippies and dreamer types, etc. The homosociality of these worlds is well-documented, particularly in LA and San Francisco, which as major west coast ports allowed for a blossoming homosexual underground to form. Key word being underground: the world of the homosexual was also the world of the criminal class.

I admit that I have some probably misplaced nostalgia for this time, which informs my preferences. I mean, when my husband and I met, we were both petty crooks and sex workers. He did tattoos out of his room in an anarchist collective. I promoted parties and had regular johns who paid my rent.

Anyway, all that said, some of Roberts’ and Bob Mizer’s models were actually gay, and by the 70s, Roberts was taking many photos of men he had met at gay liberation and early Pride events.

I mean I think you know I was always pretty (petty?) jealous of all the fun you had. also love a good hippie dude, that's definitely a me thing.

I'm hard pressed to come up with someone I think is totally smashable right now which is annoying me. like I would always say Ewan McGregor. Paul Rudd, Andrew Garfield kinda. I hate to say it because he seems like a douche but Adrian Grenier? geez I guess my type is like not that out there

My thing with 70s nostalgia of almost any stripe is that a lot fewer people call me a nigger now than they did then

That said, I did get a bunch of sweaters from Oxknit so it’s not like the allure is 100% foreign, I just would not choose to go back to the time I remember

<3 <3 <3 yes to calling that out

DJP— oh for sure. I mean, the more rampant and overt racism is one of the more important reasons why my nostalgia is misplaced

you know I would probably add like a young (or old TBH) Jake Gyllenhaal and John Krasinski to my hotties list

ugh yeah i think john k is really hot and i feel bad about it. just put the dumbest jackass dadbait out there and i roll my eyes and look again.

um wow we have a wide variety of tastes, i think Krasinski has a repellent face lol

i also don't really know what many Hollywood stars look like (at least nowadays) because i don't follow that stuff, like, at all. Who is Andrew Garfield?

oh, yeah, never seen him in anything...he looks a little too lean and lank for me.

A former twink with a head like a q-tip.

i like puppy dog faces and big ears i can't help it

I'd still let him fuck the shit outta me.

as for Krasinski he went through a phase when he finally hired a decent hair stylist

haha that's the spirit xp

Garfield looks like a good kisser. Sometimes you know these things.

but heathcliff has the whole package

Heathcliff
it's me
Andy
come home

so i had crushes on cartoon characters growing up? huckleberry hound. and later on, in my 20s, way past the point of acceptability for this sort of thing, i had a crush on brian from family guy :[

we just finished true detective s4 and omg the guy who plays qavvik is such a babe

rowr

Nice. I flirted with a guy at the bar with hair like his.