Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...

she/they or he/they could indicate some kind of genderfluid or non-binary identity, but I'm not sure... just ask (respectfully). once you get past the idea of a gender binary being essential, it doesn't really matter why people choose what they choose only that you follow their preference (although linguistically speaking there are probably some practical limits... I've heard about people who want to be addressed with alternating pronouns and while I respect the desire to have their identity acknowledged, that's probably too much cognitive load, especially if your group has some non-native speakers in it).

of course if I’m unsure I’ll ask. my question was why anyone chooses to write “he/him” on a bio. I thought there may have been some nuance I was missing.

have we verbed yet

Yeah lol sorry for prolonging this utterly cliched subject

fwiw Tracer my other guess as to why you would use "he/him" instead of just "he" is that when you're saying these things out loud, articulating both makes it easier for your listener to catch what you're saying (spoken out loud, "he" and "she" sound awfully similar) and remember the correct usage. And then the convention simply carried over to written bios from there

and here in Montreal, my pronouns are he/il lol

Looking around, it looks like in the business world, there's a slightly more formal method where "popcorn style" means one person speaks and then designates the next speaker, as sarahell mentioned in the original post. So I guess people took the method name and decided they had to now say "I'm popcorning" lol

― rob, Tuesday, March 12, 2024 8:51 AM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

We have guinea pigs now and apparently when a guinea pig does a little jump to express happiness it is called popcorning.

@ Tracer, he/him in a bio makes obvious sense if the individual is trans, or has a fluid mode of presentation whereby their pronouns might not be immediately obvious. Masc-presenting cis men using he/him in their bio was always, I felt, an act of normalisation regarding stating one's gender preference, while acknowledging the possibility that certain individuals who present decisively masculine might have alternate pronouns; a he/him acknowledges that possibility.

The origin of the subjective/possessive pronoun declaration comes from the era of ze/zir and other modified predecessors to the widely-used they/them. He/they and she/they, to the best of my knowledge, are recent mutations of the form to denote a "gender skew"; that either pronoun is appropriate and welcome, and to define oneself as being on a spectrum. I am all-chips-in on this mutation, mutating language is great.

Lol Stevo … the member in the popcorn container is now going to … stick with me

thanks fgti, interesting

I mean, my bf is cis male he/him but is very enby-presenting, to a point that my friends and family default to they/them usage upon meeting him. He states his pronouns in professional correspondence. I have a gender-neutral friend who used it/its for a decade prior to they/them becoming common usage, and has switched to they/them. My trans friends are funny, if somebody says a they/them (usually by accident) they get funny-mad, "don't you they/them me! these hormones were expensive"

lol yes

My trans friends are the same way when they/themmed— my friend Z gets absolutely furious. He once said to someone at a party, "I am a faggot, if you can't handle that, then stop talking to me!"

I admit that the "she/they" "he/they" thing gets me a little riled up at times for reasons that a lot of queers can probably easily suss out, but that's besides the point.

https://www.eater.com/24022477/why-is-everyone-saying-welcome-in

not sure if this has been covered, but i heard this phrase three times last week, over in-store radio, in ASMR videos... and i found myself turning inside-out, so i searched it up today and found this.

whoa thank you for looking this up, i have been wondering the same thing. like everyone at work started saying that at once i thought i was losing my mind

saying it even when there's no "in" to welcome me to wtf

heh I hear that mostly in mid-quality restaurants lately.

it doesn't bother me so much though because as with "Welcome to Denny's", "Hello, how many?", "sit your ass down, this is Dick's", it's all kinda filler that leaves my head 3 seconds later

When you sick so sad you cry, and in crying cry a whole leopard from your eye (sad mammal). If you angry so mad ye tongue burst and mouth juice run gall bladder bitter. When you sick so sad you place your face in the puddle of a lay-by waiting for lorry to spash it.

And when you are inside the infinite misery jumper pulling it over and over your head with no hope of ending because it's replicating at the waistband and you never get out.

Then ee welcome. Oh then ee arth welcome in

"What can I get started for you today?" is my personal "welcome in" of this past decade

"My name is Earl and I'll be taking care of you tonight."

Oh, thank god, Earl, I can't tell you how long I've waited for someone to take care of me.

Isn’t there a motel chain called the Welcome Inn ?

Pretty sure we stayed in one on a family trip when I was a kid… I have no negative associations

weird, “welcome in” sounds like a normal greeting, though within an enclosed space/room/crowd? to me, it doesn’t feel like a novelty.

Maybe it’s Velkommen, pronounced the American Way.

I haven't heard it but I would guess its implication is "(You are) welcome in(to our restaurant)." With the words in parentheses presumably omitted because the are understood.

Or maybe "(You are) welcome in our restaurant." When you're here, your family.

Hamlet says "Gentlemen! You are welcome to Elsinore." One doubts he meant that they were welcome to take the castle - merely that they were welcome to be there. Or not to be there.

what could possibly be strange or novel about this

are you all insane

Yeah, "welcome in" is an unremarkable, long-standing phrase on this side of the Atlantic, though I wouldn't expect to hear it as a restaurant greeting.

A friend has just arrived at your house with some folk you don't know and they're all shuffling in out of the rain. "Welcome in! Welcome in!"you might say as they filed past.

Am now starting to worry darraghmac has Mandela-effected me.

you are crazy I would never say this, have never heard it, and would kill anyone who said it to me.

if we'd been chatting on the doorstep for five minutes I might say "well, come in!"

Might seem a bit clique.

Does it bypass the welcomed being a drop in til the 3rd generation too.

Like You're one of 'us' now. Just try leaving.

Blow in not drop in.
Like even less agency over where an outsider lives like.

cannot imagine even noticing someone saying “welcome in” much less being enraged by it

if anything “welcome!” just by itself feels weirder to me, slightly formal, like you’re announcing royalty, or you’re translating in your head from willkomen or bienvenue. like you’re going to follow it up with “to our magical world of toys!”

Public Enemy even verbed it - "Would you join me please in welcome-in-ing"

I'm afraid we are at an impasse over this, only solution is to ban restaurants

are you all going to pay me then? why does everyone have so much vitriol for food service workers?! that's a real question. why so much hate?

i welcome people to my class, to my restaurant, occasionally to my home. how is this an issue?! truly do not get it.
the peeving has reached a fever-peeve.

My brother worked as a server for years during after college. He was really good at it, and made a good living. Nothing but respect for people who work in that industry.

I've already noted my dislike of "Are you still working on that?" "I'll be taking care of you" is just another one of those overused and awkward phrases to me.

Not sure about the objection to "welcome in."

"ban restaurants" was just me making a joke about the absurdity of caring so much about being told "welcome in". I honestly don't care what people say to me when I enter a restaurant or while I'm eating, as long as it isn't "fuck off" or "we want hen fap".

but really I've only ever heard "welcome in" in chain restaurants anyway

i want to know why people are so regularly predictably annoyed at restaurant workers when they have chosen to eat in a restaurant. there is no amount of "my sister/brother/younger self worked in restaurants and i have respect" or "i was joking" that will clean the stench of the peeving and hate. why does it bother everyone so much!?

(Also, pronouns discourse on ilx? 💀)

― Roman Anthony gets on his horse (gyac), Tuesday, March 12, 2024 12:30 PM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

qft

i’m “she/they” at work bc it was a huge fucking struggle to get ppl to call me “they” at work when i was non-binary and i’d like to keep some vestige of that. if you’re annoyed by that on any level fuck off

It doesn't bother "everyone." It doesn't bother me. I eat out a lot, and I am rarely annoyed at restaurant workers unless they disappear for long stretches of time while I'm waiting for my meal and/or the check.

xxxpost I mean speaking just in my case, I legitimately was joking, especially when you see my comments further upthread where I said I am not bothered by people saying "welcome in". thought it was fairly obvious that I don't want to literally ban restaurants, particularly when my best friend works in one.

but perhaps it's time for me to bow out of this thread because frankly i feel like deems and wins are often otm, this thread is just bickering over innocuous phrases that really aren't that big of a deal.

it is! and it makes actual people feel hated on, which -- if this is not your intention -- maybe think twice before posting?!

i didn't wake up today feeling like the peeve police but here i am

probably because i have two doubles to work this week and that's hard enough. seeing contempt for my work just set me off. i am not sorry but i do want to burn this thread to the ground.

i welcome people to my class, to my restaurant, occasionally to my home. how is this an issue?! truly do not get it.
the peeving has reached a fever-peeve.

― Piggy Lepton (La Lechera), Thursday, March 14, 2024 9:48 AM (forty-nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I don't think it's the fact that people are welcoming people that is the issue. I welcome people all the time at work and it would be weird not to. It's the weird phrase "welcome in". I have never heard nor used that in my life.

Maybe this exclusively a Scottish thing but does nobody itt welcome in the New Year?

When I hear this I hear “Wilkommen” and I imagine I’m at Oktoberfest

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-64137444