Real England

This is a ridiculous story…

Former Port Vale player Ryan Burge hates the club so much, he flew a plane over their ground on Saturday with a banner MOCKING their relegation from League One.

He got a pilot’s license, JUST so he could do it.

All new levels of pettiness 🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/Da6IhMIozg

— Ryan Dilks (@RyanDilks1) April 29, 2024

might actually be fake england fml

Looks like there's a shortage of police sketch artists in Tunbridge Wells.

Investigators have released a computer generated image of a man they would like to identify in connection with a burglary in Tunbridge Wells. https://t.co/hPrbjaLeyU pic.twitter.com/D35VA8TfQd

— Kent Police TWells (@KentPoliceTWell) April 29, 2024

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pete_Buttigieg

Can’t believe this app is free pic.twitter.com/CpuRlny2Mo

— Ant (@M0kujin) April 30, 2024

Hope somebody can stop Brian Cox's crime spree in Tunbridge Wells soon

https://www.tiktok.com/@globetrots/video/7362198488857218337

West Yorkshire failing to get to get into the top two again!

hackney moleman klaxon:
https://www.ft.com/content/fe13350f-6522-4892-b67e-301828b10070 (needs registration but it's free)

“tunnelling is something that should be talked about without panicking”

wow, a worthy addition to the lore

related (actually conger hill in toddington):
https://i.imgur.com/w2yb889.png

let her cook imo

the levels of dgaf on display are pretty impressive tbh pic.twitter.com/Eq1rbSMIaG

— Owain (@orhunt) May 16, 2024

Love it when people threaten to report something to the council. Like have you ever tried phoning the council? Yeah, good luck with that, pal

Thanks to the austerity the old woman's beloved Tories put in place!

Someone tell starmer that strict anti-harp legislation is a surefire winner with his target voters

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GOpV1XeXMAAOjni?format=jpg&name=medium

jesus wept

I think you mean "Jezzy w"

50/50 on whether that is intended as savage mockery

Perfect for the Relly Engz thread

wait what is 'salad cream'?

nevermind, I don't wanna know

it's great is what it is

A variant on mayonnaise (no oil, or less oil).

I didn't even know what mayonnaise was when I was a kid, even "egg mayonnaise" sandwiches were made with salad cream.

I thought mayo and salad dressing were the same thing as a kid, and at a shockingly old age I finally googled it and discovered salad dressing is made without egg yolks.

yeah, "kid" in my case was probably well into my late 20's, lol

salad cream is like a runny, more vinegary mayo. best in a (*vegan) fish finger sandwich with a bit of lettuce, its acidity helps it cut through better than mayo

huh, perhaps like our Miracle Whip but it's actually kinda sweet

miracle whip is an abomination, salad cream is ok

You want some real England eh?

2 people going to the Food Bank, who are they voting for?

Conservatives, "They have helped us more than anybody."

"I'd be so gutted if Rishi Sunak lost"pic.twitter.com/MyhYKMCCMx

— BladeoftheSun (@BladeoftheS) May 27, 2024

Yes, I saw that the other day!

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GO0XlfuWcAAx38b?format=jpg&name=900x900

my stepdad sent me this short article about Dewsbury from the Hudds Daily Examiner to cheer me up. It opens with "It's a shithole - that's your headline".