Real England

https://www.tiktok.com/@globetrots/video/7362198488857218337

West Yorkshire failing to get to get into the top two again!

hackney moleman klaxon:
https://www.ft.com/content/fe13350f-6522-4892-b67e-301828b10070 (needs registration but it's free)

“tunnelling is something that should be talked about without panicking”

wow, a worthy addition to the lore

related (actually conger hill in toddington):
https://i.imgur.com/w2yb889.png

let her cook imo

the levels of dgaf on display are pretty impressive tbh pic.twitter.com/Eq1rbSMIaG

— Owain (@orhunt) May 16, 2024

Love it when people threaten to report something to the council. Like have you ever tried phoning the council? Yeah, good luck with that, pal

Thanks to the austerity the old woman's beloved Tories put in place!

Someone tell starmer that strict anti-harp legislation is a surefire winner with his target voters

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GOpV1XeXMAAOjni?format=jpg&name=medium

jesus wept

I think you mean "Jezzy w"

50/50 on whether that is intended as savage mockery

Perfect for the Relly Engz thread

wait what is 'salad cream'?

nevermind, I don't wanna know

it's great is what it is

A variant on mayonnaise (no oil, or less oil).

I didn't even know what mayonnaise was when I was a kid, even "egg mayonnaise" sandwiches were made with salad cream.

I thought mayo and salad dressing were the same thing as a kid, and at a shockingly old age I finally googled it and discovered salad dressing is made without egg yolks.

yeah, "kid" in my case was probably well into my late 20's, lol

salad cream is like a runny, more vinegary mayo. best in a (*vegan) fish finger sandwich with a bit of lettuce, its acidity helps it cut through better than mayo

huh, perhaps like our Miracle Whip but it's actually kinda sweet

miracle whip is an abomination, salad cream is ok

You want some real England eh?

2 people going to the Food Bank, who are they voting for?

Conservatives, "They have helped us more than anybody."

"I'd be so gutted if Rishi Sunak lost"pic.twitter.com/MyhYKMCCMx

— BladeoftheSun (@BladeoftheS) May 27, 2024

Yes, I saw that the other day!

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GO0XlfuWcAAx38b?format=jpg&name=900x900

my stepdad sent me this short article about Dewsbury from the Hudds Daily Examiner to cheer me up. It opens with "It's a shithole - that's your headline".

😳🍺 I'm having a pint of Stella what are you Having? pic.twitter.com/hSvTaMJjm4

— Steady (@DeanoGorton) June 14, 2024

I once saw someone open the boot of their car, take out a family size squeezy bottle of heinz ketchup, and do just that. I was in England at the time.

Oh my god I am never using condiments at a restaurant ever again. Although lately in America you get yer "ketchup" in a little metal cup (for portion control I guess).

no it's a shot glass

Single origin ketchup, aged for 18 months in used sherry casks

Son #1 asked today if you could make wine from coca cola, I reckon the preservatives would stop it fermenting no matter how much yeast you get in there, someone's probably had a go though. (a brief look at youtube reveals yes, someone has)

my son drinks Frank's hot sauce/Encona/whatever tabasco/scirocco variant is there, straight from the bottle and frequently drains the whole bottle. It is his wine.

the thing I don't like about that vid is that it is intrusive and sneering, just leave the guy alone.

fair

Princess Anne, 73, suffered concussion and minor injuries, thought to possibly have been caused by being either headbutted or kicked by a horse on her estate at Gatcombe Park in Gloucestershire on Sunday.

from a very old popbitch, technically Real Scotland but Charles & Camilla are Enlish so it counts.

Big Brother's Pete Bennett may be Britain's most famous Tourettes sufferer now, but in 1989 this accolade went to Scottish teenager John Davidson, star of ground-breaking BBC documentary, John's Not Mad.

A few weeks after the film was screened,
John was given an award by Prince Charles, for his bravery about publicising his illness. Before the ceremony John's friends helpfully recited the phrase "Big eared cnut" over and over to him in the hope he would say it.

John was determined he wouldn't show himself up but when he stepped up to receive his award from the Prince nerves got the better of him, and he couldn't stop himself from shouting out

... "Bad Horsey!"

John was talking about that incident in a program called Tourettes De France. He was also calling him "parasite" and yelled "Camilla's a shit ride".

the Jay Slater saga has been the Realest

ppl are portraying him as a machete wielding thug, if that actually was the case he would have got more than community service. His dad looks a wrong un, something unsavory about him. Or maybe his only crime was being in some crap baggy band in the 90's!

The whole gang apparently never had to spend a night behind bars.. weird stuff

I have to admit I'm a little bit hooked on Twitter for this, only thing I use the app for anymore

also the judge reprimanded them for larking about in court and not seeming to take the charges seriously - it was a curious case!

Yeah the victim went to “look for his sister”, and Jay Slater and his mates were all there waiting with fuckin medieval implements and chased him and cut his head open. Would like to understand what actually went on there

I mean apart from that

some phone footage has emerged of him looking absolutely shitfaced and staggering about on the dancefloor and falling over shortly before his disappearance. Which would be fine in England, but you go wandering off the beaten track in that state in a hot humid place, then you could be fucked.

xp

I feel like there must be some context in that case that you don't get from the reportage on it, there must be some reason the judge didn't convict at least some of them to custodial time in a YOI

Possibly because the whole country's so underfunded the borstals YOIs have begged them not to send any more of the little fuckers?

it could have been a Covid thing as well

class snobbery, check. randoms throwing money at a murky crowdfunder, check. aspersions cast on the efficiency of foreign police, check. people who've watched too much true crime shit, that's a big check.

it was bad enough when UK media did the "incompetent johnny foreigner police" thing on behalf of the transparently guilty af inficidal McCann grift project.