Elon Musk

luv 2 relax in my stainless steel claustrophobia generator

If you ever get kicked out of the house by your significant other for buying the Cybertruck, you know where you can still sleep in style pic.twitter.com/bAPBa2rpsT

— Teslaconomics (@Teslaconomics) February 2, 2024

I would not trust that thing to allow me back out of the trunk once I had crawled in.

they've lost the mommybloggers https://www.threads.net/@i_am_random_sarah/post/C8IsAQ2yeS7

You hate to see it

https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/tesla-autopilot-crashes-police-patrol-car-fullerton/3436547/

Teslas are cool now

tesla autopilot is praxis

tend not to look at tesla truck content cos frankly the whole thing is completely embarrassing but it is objectively hilarious looking at this guy having to make it go by *pulling a piece of string*.

lmao this fuckin piece of shit costs $100k and is less than 6 months old

the "fix" for when it breaks is to peel back a plastic panel and pull a string to break it in a different way pic.twitter.com/eULv6SHIQM

— 𝕏eͤ✞ꌚe͎n̆̈♨𝕏⊍תּḋᥑy҉҉ (@JetsenSunday) June 14, 2024

NEW:

Elon Musk’s Neuralink has been sued by a staffer who says she got scratched on the face by a herpes-carrying monkey-- then was fired a day after she said she was pregnant. https://t.co/cIRPv2q2Nh

— Gabe Hoffman (@GabeHoff) June 15, 2024

The headlines are just going to be Mad Libs from here on in...

He got his $56b tho

this shit is wild, nasa boss who approved this boondoggle works at spacex now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxG0WAwwrGk

lol

https://www.bnnbloomberg.ca/polopoly_fs/1.2078062.1716912319!/fileimage/httpImage/image.png_gen/derivatives/landscape_620/image.png

yikes

seems like word of mouth works both ways. now show us tesla's drop in sales just in China.

there it is

🚨 BREAKING WSJ:

SEC likely to seek enforcement action barring Elon Musk as public company officer / director, former SEC officials say

Musk deliberately violated securities laws requiring 13-D filing when he crossed 5% ownership of Twitter stock, disclosed 11 days late at 9% pic.twitter.com/GrYqLanHO1

— Gabe Hoffman (@GabeHoff) June 17, 2024

wow

does he still get his $50b

it goes to me now

Coincidentally mark I was wondering if I could get $35 million from you

i also could use $35m if its not too much trouble

wow shows you who your fake friends are when they come clamoring for your paper when you make it, i (a real friend) on the other hand will settle for $100,000

I don't want a handout. I want a hand up.

speak for yourself, i would very much like a handout

upon reflection i actually need $50m thanks in advance

$35 mil works for me thanks ahead of time, will also take the $34.9 bise is leaving on the table if that makes things a little easier on everyone ta ta

https://www.theonion.com/americas-homeless-want-a-hand-up-not-a-handout-vs-i-w-1819594266

Elon Musk had a sexual relationship with a former SpaceX intern, who he later hired onto his executive team, according to The Wall Street Journal. He also had a sexual relationship with a second employee. And a third woman alleged that Musk asked her several times to have his children; she refused. He then denied her a raise and complained about her performance.

https://www.theverge.com/2024/6/12/24176705/spacex-elon-musk-gwynne-shotwell-sexual-relationships

Just an absolute shitstain, on every level. Second only to Trump in the list of people I hope to never ever have to think about again.

all these are malicious and evil but the horse story really puts a pin in how pathetic it all is

That is not what expected when I heard “the horse story”

I may have been intentionally vague there

https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cfy5rgqvohpdqxgu2geb5u2b/bafkreidl3wskzlirb2ze553nq5oszzikrri3qur5hqdzblnxptc4cusygu@jpeg

https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cfy5rgqvohpdqxgu2geb5u2b/bafkreig4ameitq7ozc6gv4hte5a5adu2gw25j3ilyku6romqjbexj6agzu@jpeg

old enough to remember the major scandal when a tiny percentage of toyotas might have been defective

Old enough to remember when it was Audis before that.

??? pic.twitter.com/MjAay9kgFz

— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) June 26, 2024

Personally intervening to give an update on restoring the account of someone who was banned for posting a picture of a child being horribly abused is definitely a choice

and its not even the first time

You know Elon has terabytes of CSA on a hard drive labeled “epic wow”.

Hey y'all. Just wondering if anyone knows of a good article that maps out Elon's interactions with the bigot community. I've seen enough of this over the years, but I'd love to find a strong explainer from a reputable source that could make sense to an audience that doesn't know who Ian Miles Cheong or people like that are.

robotaxi delayed... shocking

also: https://archive.ph/hf9zv

Mr. Musk, 53, has directed SpaceX employees to drill into the design and details of a Martian city, according to five people with knowledge of the efforts and documents viewed by The New York Times. One team is drawing up plans for small dome habitats, including the materials that could be used to build them. Another is working on spacesuits to combat Mars’s hostile environment, while a medical team is researching whether humans can have children there. Mr. Musk has volunteered his sperm to help seed a colony, two people familiar with his comments said.

this may be an unpopular opinion around here, but i think you have to respect elon musk for being willing to jerk off into a cup in order to save the future of humanity

MUSK/TRUMP MARS COLONY FOR ALL TRUE PATRIOTS

With this final missing piece, it is clear that assembling all of his many companies is aligned towards this one goal - to help him volunteer his sperm wherever he feels it is needed.

Mars Needs Jism

going to be real fun when they have LIFE ON MARS week and show live footage from first attempt to colonize Mars and cut away Owen Hart style when the first suit fails and a head explodes

SUCCESS

"Another is working on spacesuits to combat Musk’s hostile environment"

Don’t blame me, I wouldn’t buy a fucking Tesla

Uh-oh, the final straw

Tech billionaire Elon Musk on Tuesday said he will move the headquarters for his aerospace company, SpaceX, and social media company, X, out of California, after Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) signed a bill banning school districts from requiring parents to be notified if their child decides to change their gender identity.

“This is the final straw. Because of this law and the many others that preceded it, attacking both families and companies, SpaceX will now move its HQ from Hawthorne, California, to Starbase, Texas,” Musk wrote on X Tuesday.

GTFO

he was probably moving anyway due to some sweetheart tax deal that TX offered, but might as well fire a culture war salvo on your way out