101 Uses for a paperclip

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At my directorate away day, we did this as a sort of leart hearted exercise.

I'll start with the obvious ones:

1. Brain Surgery
2. Melting them down and making fake coins.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:19 (twenty-three years ago)

3. Time travel

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:24 (twenty-three years ago)

4. Ant wanking.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:25 (twenty-three years ago)

5. Cock ring

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:25 (twenty-three years ago)

6. ear wax cleaner

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:29 (twenty-three years ago)

7. Keeping unbound multi-page documents together.

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:30 (twenty-three years ago)

8. roach clip

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:36 (twenty-three years ago)

9. soldering synthesizer inards

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:37 (twenty-three years ago)

10. Soup starter.

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:41 (twenty-three years ago)

6. ear wax cleaner

???

― gygax!, Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:42 (twenty-three years ago)

10. Interrogation tool

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:43 (twenty-three years ago)

??? I guess "ear wax remover" would've made more sense?

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:45 (twenty-three years ago)

11. Constant MS Word intervention.

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:49 (twenty-three years ago)

12. weapon of mass destruction

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:50 (twenty-three years ago)

12. bracelet

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:50 (twenty-three years ago)

argh I will be "13"

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:51 (twenty-three years ago)

you stick a paperclip in your ear?

― gygax!, Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:51 (twenty-three years ago)

13. To give Aaron Grossman breathing space

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:59 (twenty-three years ago)

14. kidney stone remover.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:23 (twenty-three years ago)

15. ohidon'tknowhowaboutforclippingpapersoristhisnotanappropriatetimeforoverstatingtheobvious

― gygax!, Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:27 (twenty-three years ago)

16. In high school, they used to bend them so that the two ends stuck striaght out and, using rubberbands, shot them at people. I would imagine that this hurts quite a lot.

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:30 (twenty-three years ago)

17. You can bend them back and forth and generate heat

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:34 (twenty-three years ago)

18. Trombone impersonator

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:35 (twenty-three years ago)

19. I think Carl Craig makes people out of them?

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:36 (twenty-three years ago)

coat hangers for Pixies.

― gazza, Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:44 (twenty-three years ago)

20. Macintosh CD remover

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:51 (twenty-three years ago)

21. Pixie's macintosh remover.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:52 (twenty-three years ago)

22. to get splinters out from under your finger nails (note this is extremely painful and the splinter has to have made you crazy to attempt it)

― isadora (isadora), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:56 (twenty-three years ago)

23. opening doors if you've forgotten the key, sometimes (other useful objects for this include cards and hairpins)

― geeta (geeta), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:58 (twenty-three years ago)

24. modern-art installation

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 20:00 (twenty-three years ago)

geeta have you ever got that to actually work? are you a spy?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 20:01 (twenty-three years ago)

25. Replacement weaponary for Transformers - "haha Sunstreaker your paperclip gun is rub"

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 20:02 (twenty-three years ago)

26. Magnet tester

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 20:03 (twenty-three years ago)

27. Ladybird walking-stick.

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 20:57 (twenty-three years ago)

28. Very crappy shiv

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 20:59 (twenty-three years ago)

29. IUD.

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 21:56 (twenty-three years ago)

30.kebab skewer

― brg30 (brg30), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:02 (twenty-three years ago)

To abort baby mice

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Make that 31.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:05 (twenty-three years ago)

32. To represent the 'Stiletto in the Ghetto' on a small scale model of Dublin.

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Unbent - scraping the plaque from between one's teeth when one forgets to brush some morning.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:27 (twenty-three years ago)

hey I did this exercise with my kids as a brainstorming/prewriting lesson!

You all get A's.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:34 (twenty-three years ago)

What grade are they in?

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Woo-hoo! My GPA has risen astronomically!

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:42 (twenty-three years ago)

7th graders. hell's own grade level.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:44 (twenty-three years ago)

33. Weight training device for novice ants.

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:54 (twenty-three years ago)

34. For "sounding". (And if you don't know what that means, you probably don't want to know.)

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:55 (twenty-three years ago)

35. To navigate in a very small gondola.

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:57 (twenty-three years ago)

36. spontaneous sculpture

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 01:27 (twenty-three years ago)

37. To hijack an aeroplane full of ants

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 01:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Skipping 67 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Mark is not saving his site.

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 30 January 2003 09:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Ouch, Lara!!!!

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 30 January 2003 10:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, what Arcehl said, I have my legs crossed

― smee (smee), Thursday, 30 January 2003 10:06 (twenty-three years ago)

76. For scraping the gunk out of my rubber razor handle.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 30 January 2003 10:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Mark uses it to scrape the cheese off his penis hole after his foreskin has been hiding it for over 4 weeks.

― becky lucas (becky_lucas), Thursday, 30 January 2003 10:55 (twenty-three years ago)

**********************self-explanatory**************************

― becky lucas (becky_lucas), Friday, 31 January 2003 21:06 (twenty-three years ago)

77. One-way boomerang.

― Chris P (Chris P), Saturday, 1 February 2003 04:08 (twenty-three years ago)

78. Emergency crutch/cane for wounded cockroach

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Saturday, 1 February 2003 04:26 (twenty-three years ago)

79. A substitute nib for a fountain pen

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Saturday, 1 February 2003 04:27 (twenty-three years ago)

80. A substitute screw to hold glass lens frames to glass ear pieces

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Saturday, 1 February 2003 04:28 (twenty-three years ago)

81. Destructive Palm Pilot stylus.

― Chris P (Chris P), Saturday, 1 February 2003 04:30 (twenty-three years ago)

82. A conductor's baton for a grasshopper and circada orchestra

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Saturday, 1 February 2003 04:32 (twenty-three years ago)

83. At the next office party, play "Spin the Paperclip".

― Chris P (Chris P), Saturday, 1 February 2003 04:37 (twenty-three years ago)

84. Poor Man's Fork

― Aaron A., Saturday, 1 February 2003 05:02 (twenty-three years ago)

85. Unbend, rebend around your ring finger, and voila! Your arthritis is cured.

― Chris P (Chris P), Saturday, 1 February 2003 05:12 (twenty-three years ago)

86. Last Resort Dinner

― Aaron A., Saturday, 1 February 2003 05:16 (twenty-three years ago)

87. Link enough together and you can make a mesh shirt.

― Chris P (Chris P), Saturday, 1 February 2003 05:19 (twenty-three years ago)

88. If worn properly and for sufficiently long: Corrective orthodontic device.

― Paul in Santa Cruz (Paul in Santa Cruz), Saturday, 1 February 2003 05:22 (twenty-three years ago)

89. Use to adjust time on digital watches from the '80s

― Aaron A., Saturday, 1 February 2003 05:26 (twenty-three years ago)

90. Birthday/Xmas present to someone you don't especially like

― Aaron A., Saturday, 1 February 2003 05:31 (twenty-three years ago)

91. Source of superpowers.

― Chris P (Chris P), Saturday, 1 February 2003 06:31 (twenty-three years ago)

92. DIY body-modification tool.

― phil-two, Saturday, 1 February 2003 08:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Freddy Kruegers substitute nail (until he gets to the manicurist,Monday morning)

― becky lucas (becky_lucas), Saturday, 1 February 2003 08:49 (twenty-three years ago)

93. To keep the INKlings at bay when your underground with the girl in the pink suit. (requires more than one paperclip)

― rainy (rainy), Saturday, 1 February 2003 10:36 (twenty-three years ago)

94. To keep the INKlings at bay when you're underground with the girl in the pink suit. (requires more than one paperclip)

― rainy (rainy), Saturday, 1 February 2003 10:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Re 91: I like Paperclip Man. Able to hold documents together! Can um... actually that's it.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 1 February 2003 12:35 (twenty-three years ago)

95. Along with carrot and wad of chewing gum, can be used to make highly explosive bomb.

― macgyver (Mark P), Saturday, 1 February 2003 15:10 (twenty-three years ago)

I got rainy's reference! I also dreamt about rainy last night - we were simply having a conversation. She had a wide, open face, smooth skin, shortish, slightly curly brown hair which framed her face and she was very friendly.

― Mark C (Mark C), Saturday, 1 February 2003 15:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Just how wide was her face, to the nearest foot?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 1 February 2003 15:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Martin, have you even been reading this thread? There's like 101 things Paperclip Man can do!

― Chris P (Chris P), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:07 (twenty-three years ago)

95. Obstacle in a dust mite obstacle course.

― Chris P (Chris P), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:10 (twenty-three years ago)

That was 96.

97. Tool for combing through small particles of wreckage.

― Lara (Lara), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:11 (twenty-three years ago)

98. Next to useless lightning conductor

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:13 (twenty-three years ago)

99. Party favor.

― Chris P (Chris P), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:15 (twenty-three years ago)

100. Next to useless dildo.

― Lara (Lara), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:15 (twenty-three years ago)

100. Conversation prop. ["Ask me why I am holding a paperclip," or ask me for a paperclip.]

― Rockist Scientist, Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:15 (twenty-three years ago)

101 Alexander McQueen distressed tie pin.

― Lara (Lara), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:16 (twenty-three years ago)

102. Subject of ILE thread topic.

― mark p (Mark P), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:16 (twenty-three years ago)

101. Chicken waxer

OH NO YOU WON

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Can we stop this madness now?

― Lara (Lara), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:17 (twenty-three years ago)

I think in this game, we all win...

― Chris P (Chris P), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:18 (twenty-three years ago)

...a paperclip!

― Chris P (Chris P), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:18 (twenty-three years ago)

STOP IT.

― Lara (Lara), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:19 (twenty-three years ago)

You're just mad because you can't think of what to do with your paperclip.

― Chris P (Chris P), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Someone should start a thread.

― mark p (Mark P), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Come here, I think there's something in your eye, I'll just get it out with my.... *prod* *prod* *prod*

― Lara (Lara), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Just did.

― Lara (Lara), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:24 (twenty-three years ago)

mark c, your desription of me makes me think of hobbits. Thanks for dreaming about me, I have been quite lonely recently.

― rainy (rainy), Saturday, 1 February 2003 22:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Any time rainy! It was pleasant to have a non-sinister (small S) dream, and you were a delight. I'm sorry you've been lonely - I have too, in a way which perhaps only I can quite see, if not understand.

(but you're blonde in real life, a little voice in my memory has just reminded me. Still, brown hair suits you. As do hairy feet, probably.)

Chris Piuma is my ilxor-du-semain.

― Mark C (Mark C), Sunday, 2 February 2003 00:25 (twenty-three years ago)

A death threat and poster of the week on the same day -- sweet!

― Chris P (Chris P), Sunday, 2 February 2003 03:58 (twenty-three years ago)

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