chili crisis!!!

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HELP! I cavlierly dumped too much cumin and chili powder in it, and the spice quotient is off the scale --- good for me, but not for my dinner buddy I think!! I've put some sugar and a half cup of Beck's beer into it, but I'm not sure it will be enuf! How to reverse the hotness???

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Is there any way you could add some more tomato?

― Nicolars (Nicole), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:18 (twenty-one years ago)

A bit of wine? Though unless it's quite fruity it could bring out the spiciness some more...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait yes!! I just remembered there are some cherry tomatoes i could add!!

Also I guess when the beef goes in it will suck up some of the hot stuff?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, it usually does.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Lemon juice. And make sure there's plenty of sour cream on the side!

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Lemon juice?!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Must be some UK thing, Tracer.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

At least he didn't say salad cream.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

My tongue, my tongue, the beef does nothing!!!

I just added 4 cherry tomatoes but I fear it is akin to surfing with a toothpick.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Synthpop never sounded better than with all those flutes and horns and shit they use. Definitely classic. Oh wait, I thought you said China Crisis. Chili Crisis, they're one of those math-mariachi bands right?

― sucka (sucka), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

F-F-FUCK YOOOOOOOOO!!!!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Lemon juice!

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

but... I DON"T UNDERSTAND

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

creme fraiche?

― David. (Cozen), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

that's good for "topping it off" at the end and yer right it will definitely kill the burn a bit (sour cream's what i'm got)

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Milk, or sour cream, stirred in. you'll get a richer rounder chilli.

― Ed (dali), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sorry Ed but - ew.

Nick I've put in zee juice, of one half of one lemon.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:55 (twenty-one years ago)

So I might kind of be at odds with any dairy products at this point!!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Have I painted myself into a corner with this lemon juice thing??

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay I'm going to taste it again.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:59 (twenty-one years ago)

*waits patiently* And look, it's the UK, if they're not used to spicy as hell curries over there, then it's their fault.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 25 October 2003 16:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Nick Southall you are MY NU-GOD!!!!!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 October 2003 17:01 (twenty-one years ago)

:-) Hurrah!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 25 October 2003 17:02 (twenty-one years ago)

lemon juice will make it hotter, no?

― Ed (dali), Saturday, 25 October 2003 17:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Ed don't say that! Maybe my scarred taste buds are losing all sensation??

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 October 2003 17:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I can explain scientifically, why this would be so.

― Ed (dali), Saturday, 25 October 2003 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck you toooooo!!!!

Serve it with fruit on the side. Seriously, a good fruit salad- pineapple, mandarin oranges, grapes, grapefruit, apples, bananas, and a little fresh lemon on it.

― sucka (sucka), Saturday, 25 October 2003 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh god Ed there's a TV chef on US television you have to check out. He is your nu-God. At every step in the recipe he goes into this hands-on demonstration of the scientific principles behind tasty food preparation. I always paid attention to his lovely assistants, unfortunately.

Sucka that is excellent advice and luckily I have a classic apple/walnut/blue cheese/lettuce thing goin on, so I am limiting the damage somewhat.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 October 2003 17:10 (twenty-one years ago)

adding a bit of sugar helps too - serve it w/ sour cream or yoghurt on the side if you don't want to add any to the chili itself (which i wouldn't either)

― jones (actual), Saturday, 25 October 2003 17:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Lemon juice always works. I'm a good chilli-chef.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 25 October 2003 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

It's quite funny really, I taught my mate Ben to cook at uni, he could barely do beans on toast before, and now he's second-chef at some restaurant somewhere and I cook about once a month.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 25 October 2003 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

chocolate!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 25 October 2003 18:01 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought i started this thread.

― mohammed abba (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 25 October 2003 18:07 (twenty-one years ago)

how much chocolate did you put in it tracer?

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 25 October 2003 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

This happened with the curry I made for Andrew. It looked like a tiny amount of chilli powder left in the jar so I upended it into the pan. Turns out there was rather a lot more than I thort.I did not know of the lemon juice trick. I am feared of lemons since a certain Lemon Fridge Incident in any case.

― Sarah (starry), Saturday, 25 October 2003 18:17 (twenty-one years ago)

It ended up perfect!!!! blount you are a mentalist. I didn't want a fuckin molé sauce goddammit. It pushed the upper limits of calienté acceptability but JUST got in there SNUGLY. It's such a fine line. Anyway a little beer on the side and nobody's gonna complain w/that shit!!! MMMMMMMMMMMMM.

my recipe btw is:

dump:
two cans red kidney beans (drained)
two cans peeled tomatoes

into a pot and turn on low. add:

salt
a bunch of cumin
a bunch of cayenne pepper
whatever other hotness you want (chopped chilis, tabasco, exotic yuppie sauces, etc)

sautée
a couple cloves of garlic
a couple of bell peppers
an onion or two

and stir those in. from here it gets creative. wine? beer? coriander? beef? (drained of fat)

simmer for like two hours, and keep stirring that shit because even if you've got a creuset the sugar in the tomatoes is going to make it burn and stick to the bottom. of course if you're my old friend mike warren you like the "burned" flava

top w/faves: sour cream, chives, cheese, diced tomatoes, microtendrils

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 October 2003 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

i apologize for putting the words "shit" and "dump" so closely together in a chili recipe

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 October 2003 19:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Glad to have helped! Sounds lishdelish.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 25 October 2003 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

the other secret is: reheating obviously improves the flava, but it always gets a little dried out overnight, but when you add a little water to it, don't add water add COFFEE!! trust me

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 October 2003 19:31 (twenty-one years ago)

WTF?! And thought the lemon juice thing was mentalist?!

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 25 October 2003 19:54 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

REVIVE so you all can witness Tracer Hand's miraculous chili recipe!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 19:31 (twenty years ago)

I would like to read more Tracer recipes, please.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 20:15 (twenty years ago)

microtendrils

Are these from the Space Alien aisle of the grocery?

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 20:26 (twenty years ago)

Tracer's real secret seems to be cooking the beans first.

― LSTD (answer) (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 20:31 (twenty years ago)

I still wonder if Sick Nouthall was fucking with me.

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 22:39 (twenty years ago)

lemon would make the sour cream curdle.

― LSTD (answer) (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 22:42 (twenty years ago)

Ugh! I haven't made a good curry for ages now. I think my curry mojo has disappeared. Perhaps it is because I FORGOT ABOUT THE LEMONG JUICE?!

― Starry in the SW, Wednesday, 22 December 2004 22:43 (twenty years ago)

I add lemon juice to my chickpea veggie curries! But I make a more indian curry with coconut milk, lemon seems to go with that nicely, as does garam masala mmm nom.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 22:49 (twenty years ago)

next time if it gets too hot you can always just dilute the whole thing with water, adding the appropriate amount of the REST of the ingredients, and then pour out the excess (keep it for mixing with ramen noodle the next day or something).

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 22:51 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 101 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

dude are you serious? a 1MB pdf?! that is gonna be good

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 9 December 2008 03:06 (sixteen years ago)

It's 2 pages. I had to include some graphics to make it look all professional and shit.

― ⅅ∊ȴℹҁℹσᴗᔔ Ӎℹȴⱪℹȵʛ (libcrypt), Tuesday, 9 December 2008 03:16 (sixteen years ago)

I am absurdly proud of that recipe, tho. I always get requests to make it from friends & family who've had it before.

― ⅅ∊ȴℹҁℹσᴗᔔ Ӎℹȴⱪℹȵʛ (libcrypt), Tuesday, 9 December 2008 03:17 (sixteen years ago)

five years pass...

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/12/dining/if-its-chili-its-personal.html?_r=0

'overseeing bodies of chili judgment'

― j., Wednesday, 12 February 2014 21:02 (eleven years ago)

i made a pretty good vegan chili the other night, WITH beans. fuck the haters.

― kilt by defrock (get bent), Wednesday, 12 February 2014 21:22 (eleven years ago)

Oh hai, I have a pot of red cooking right now. I'm out of pure chile powder but I had a bag of dried New Mexico chiles so I toasted 'em and ground 'em up, with cayenne and chipotle powder to round it out into a decent blend for chili.

― WilliamC, Wednesday, 12 February 2014 21:58 (eleven years ago)

I had homemade veggie chili for lunch

― sleeve, Wednesday, 12 February 2014 21:59 (eleven years ago)

WITH beans. fuck the haters.

Beans are such an important part of chili, as is fresh lime juice.

― And when you f--- up, you go backwards (snoball), Wednesday, 12 February 2014 22:02 (eleven years ago)

someday i'll make a point of going to the synthesizer chili cook-off:
http://www.chicagoreader.com/Bleader/archives/2014/02/12/watch-the-synth-chili-cook-off-founders-play-a-synth-and-make-chili

― festival culture (Jordan), Wednesday, 12 February 2014 22:11 (eleven years ago)

SH-7 hot chili...

― And when you f--- up, you go backwards (snoball), Wednesday, 12 February 2014 22:15 (eleven years ago)

i guess i should xpost this from the other thread. . .

anyone have any advice re: making chili in the crockpot? i made the best chili i ever made on super bowl sunday (it was coincidental bc i did not watch the super bowl) by adapting this recipe and i want to do it again in the crockpot. i have a 3.3 lb chuck. just brown it first, drain it?

btw my adaptations were to add 2 cans of kidney beans against the recipe writer's advice, used regular ground beef, used paste i made from soaked dried anchos, added a can of beef broth, made tomato puree in the food processor, didn't have any masa harina

― sent from my butt (harbl), Thursday, February 13, 2014 9:48 AM (0 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― sent from my butt (harbl), Thursday, 13 February 2014 14:51 (eleven years ago)

i had never really used a recipe for chili. and i put too many vegetables in it before. i love beef.

― sent from my butt (harbl), Thursday, 13 February 2014 14:52 (eleven years ago)

~~~chili crisis in infinite bowls~~~

― j., Thursday, 13 February 2014 14:58 (eleven years ago)

I keep making variations of this pork chili w/chocolate stout, chipotles (in adobo or just rehydrated dried peppers), black and kidney beans, red onion, and occasionally some diced red pepper

I think chili traditionalists probably would burn me at the stake, though.

― have a nice blood (mh), Thursday, 13 February 2014 15:03 (eleven years ago)

maybe i'll add a chipotle to my paste

― sent from my butt (harbl), Thursday, 13 February 2014 15:16 (eleven years ago)

i've had my share of terrible everything-in-the-kitchen chilis for sure but there are few things more annoying than chili purists going "NO BEANS" eeahhghhhhhh no fuck you

that said i do feel like simplicity in ingredients, apart from your spice base of the chili, is a good thing. spice base + beans is good, spice base + beans and corn and potatoes and peppers and squash etc maybe not so good.

― marcos, Thursday, 13 February 2014 15:20 (eleven years ago)

beans are regional in chili imo, I feel sorry for beany chili advocates being hunted in the streets in texas or wherever

― have a nice blood (mh), Thursday, 13 February 2014 15:27 (eleven years ago)

it's good to stretch it out and make it more of a complete lunch

― sent from my butt (harbl), Thursday, 13 February 2014 15:32 (eleven years ago)

Non-alphanumeric characters: ~!@#$%^&*_-+=`|\()}{[]:;"'<>,.?/

― Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Thursday, 13 February 2014 15:34 (eleven years ago)

chili must include at least one capital letter, at least one number, and at least one non-alphanumeric character

― j., Thursday, 13 February 2014 15:41 (eleven years ago)

Chili must be placed on one's nipples in the event of a "hot nip drill"

― Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Thursday, 13 February 2014 17:53 (eleven years ago)

im making chili today iirc

― socki (s1ocki), Thursday, 13 February 2014 18:19 (eleven years ago)

look around you, is there some meat there, that would be a sign to job yr memory

― j., Thursday, 13 February 2014 18:21 (eleven years ago)

do you have hot nips

― have a nice blood (mh), Thursday, 13 February 2014 19:46 (eleven years ago)

I made this one tonight: http://www.nytimes.com/recipes/1016036/just-good-chili.html. Has anyone else tried it? Usually I ignore directions to add sweet stuff (such as 1/4 cup brown sugar) but I felt like following the recipe religiously to see what it was supposed to be like. It was both sweet and hot at the same time. Not my favorite, but interesting.

― Virginia Plain, Friday, 14 February 2014 03:27 (eleven years ago)

i really really want to make the other chilis from the article

― call all destroyer, Friday, 14 February 2014 03:37 (eleven years ago)

I keep making variations of this pork chili w/chocolate stout, chipotles (in adobo or just rehydrated dried peppers), black and kidney beans, red onion, and occasionally some diced red pepper
I think chili traditionalists probably would burn me at the stake, though

this sounds great. flavor >>> tradition

― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Friday, 14 February 2014 17:34 (eleven years ago)

i really really want to make the other chilis from the article

― call all destroyer, Thursday, February 13, 2014 10:37 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

me too

― socki (s1ocki), Friday, 14 February 2014 17:51 (eleven years ago)

the picture of "just good chili" looks gross tbh

― socki (s1ocki), Friday, 14 February 2014 17:51 (eleven years ago)

my crockpot chili was pretty successful. i'll try those nyt ones too.

― sent from my butt (harbl), Friday, 14 February 2014 17:51 (eleven years ago)

chili purists will blanche at the one i made last night but it was pretty tight

http://www.finecooking.com/recipes/spicy-chicken-white-bean-chili.aspx

― socki (s1ocki), Friday, 14 February 2014 17:52 (eleven years ago)

just good chili sounds a little sad. like "how was the chili" "eh, it was just good, not great"

― sent from my butt (harbl), Friday, 14 February 2014 17:52 (eleven years ago)

good news! add shredded chease to teh chilil for delight of the mowth!

― Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Friday, 14 February 2014 21:20 (eleven years ago)

k got the bowl of red from that nyt piece simmering right now. seemed like an excellent idea for a boring snowstorm night.

― call all destroyer, Saturday, 15 February 2014 23:47 (eleven years ago)

tropicana pure premeiusm owrnamd g e udiej just 3 dolals earch.,.

― maralin mansion (color definition point of "beyond "color, eg a transient that), Sunday, 16 February 2014 22:48 (eleven years ago)

one year passes...

I just did a search for "chili cook-off" in the subject line of my work email account and I got 21 messages

― service desk hardman (El Tomboto), Friday, 29 January 2016 18:24 (nine years ago)

I should do a FOIA request for all official correspondence concerning "chili cook-off"

― service desk hardman (El Tomboto), Friday, 29 January 2016 18:25 (nine years ago)

i only got 3

― ciderpress, Friday, 29 January 2016 18:26 (nine years ago)

eleven months pass...

I went to the trouble of buying gloves for dealing with the hot peppers, and they've worked pretty great.

Today, I skipped 'em, and while there have been some minor regrets, I can get a capsaicin high anytime I want just by licking my thumb, and my hands are just kind of tingly all over now

― The beaver is not the bad guy (El Tomboto), Tuesday, 3 January 2017 00:43 (eight years ago)

I love that moment when one of your eyes itches slightly and you realise too late the burning pain-load has already been delivered and you've totally fucked up the job. Mind you, even gloves wouldn't always prevent that.

― calzino, Tuesday, 3 January 2017 01:04 (eight years ago)

Just learn to deseed without touching (stem, quarter lengthwise, remove seeds). Pretty easy with a sharp chef's knife.

Of course, now I have to buy capsaicin-laced warming lubricant.

― Least-satisfying overall (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 3 January 2017 02:09 (eight years ago)

I can, with patience, cut out the seeds and flesh without much handling, but I'm usually out of patience before I even get to the peppers

― The beaver is not the bad guy (El Tomboto), Tuesday, 3 January 2017 02:23 (eight years ago)

also, you want at least some of those seeds maybe

― Sufjan Grafton, Tuesday, 3 January 2017 05:12 (eight years ago)

If I'm making chili for people who like spicy food, I leave them in.

― o. nate, Tuesday, 3 January 2017 05:15 (eight years ago)

I usually just make chilli bland (sans seeds), then add cayenne (or better, sambal oelek) to bring it up to "warm" for others, and a bunch more in my personal bowl. Hot pepper seeds add rather little flavor.

― Least-satisfying overall (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 3 January 2017 19:50 (eight years ago)

When I toured the Chili Pepper Institute at NMSU a few years ago, the director made sure we knew that the capsaicin sacs are on the inner membrane/placenta, not the seeds.

― aaaaaaaauuuuuuuuu (melting robot) (WilliamC), Tuesday, 3 January 2017 20:59 (eight years ago)

i would like to study at the chili pepper institute, do they offer scholarships?

― ian, Tuesday, 3 January 2017 21:18 (eight years ago)

I recommend cleaning your hands with a dollop of mayo

― mh 😏, Tuesday, 3 January 2017 21:21 (eight years ago)

Ian -- maybe?
http://aces.nmsu.edu/academics/pes/
https://cpi.nmsu.edu/

The teaching garden was f'in cool. https://cpi.nmsu.edu/programs/chile-pepper-institute-garden-tour/

― aaaaaaaauuuuuuuuu (melting robot) (WilliamC), Tuesday, 3 January 2017 21:32 (eight years ago)

WilliamC coming through with the edificational materials!!!

This morning when I had to put my contacts in I made possibly the most pathetic involuntary grunt of pain that I've made in a long time. I think the stuff has finally worn off though. Now my left thumb just smells slightly of onion and that's it.

― The beaver is not the bad guy (El Tomboto), Wednesday, 4 January 2017 02:06 (eight years ago)

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