vadge horror stories

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a friend of a friend of mine has three lips, ew. any advances?

― lukey (Lukey G), Thursday, 10 June 2004 10:52 (twenty-one years ago)

when i've stopped losing my shit over the thread title i'll let you know

― the surface noise is so overwhelming that it renders the contents of the re (ele, Thursday, 10 June 2004 10:55 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG WHERE IS DAN

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 10 June 2004 10:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Ugh, I read that as "vague horror stories", expecting kinda "and then, y'know, there was some... wailing, yeah, wailing, and I forget what happened next, but it involved zombies I think, or was it an escaped lunatic, ah, shit, doesn't matter anyway".

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 10 June 2004 10:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Dan is currently losing his shit.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 10:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it's a legitimate question. But surely 'vag' is the abreviation.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:01 (twenty-one years ago)

The Dreadful Cunnilingus Incident to thread.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:13 (twenty-one years ago)

(Haha also Markelby, that difference from a vadge horror story how?)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I was convinced this was c_l_m thread. :-(

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:18 (twenty-one years ago)

If this was a C thread, it would be called something like "When you're walking down the street and Miranda Richards suddenly walks by with an incontinent elephant hanging out off her quim, would you be alarmed would you whip your trouseres off and go at it like you were at a Steve Guttenberg convention?"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:20 (twenty-one years ago)

http://216.127.78.103/~dutch-starwars.com/database/locaties/pics/sarlacc_pit.jpg

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I blame Return of The Jedi for all of my sexual hangups. My knob looks like Jabba The Hut too.

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:40 (twenty-one years ago)

too much information! (haha sez he, having clicked on a thread entitled "vadge horror stories")

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:41 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.base58.com/ilx/vag.gif

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:00 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.somethingisburning.com/images/vag.jpg

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:03 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.poster.net/lord-of-the-rings-ii/lord-of-the-rings-ii-teaser-two-towers-4900237.jpg

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Middle-earth hermaphrodites!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd just like to point out that Dan's posited C-man version of this thread is the funniest thing ever in the whole history of the world

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

one of them, sure.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:34 (twenty-one years ago)

it seemed a bit inaccurate in it's eloquence

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Someone I know....and I truely mean that, I am not talking about myself, was using a vibrator one time not realising the batteries had leaked inside it and got burning battery acid all over her ahem flaps. Apparently when she flung the vibrator away from herself it hit the wall and took the paint off. One can only imagine what it did to her skin.

Now if that isn't a vag/vadge horror story i don't know what is.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:39 (twenty-one years ago)

"...and when they looked down, all they saw attached to the vagina was A HOOK!"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"'Ma'am," said the police operator, "'The calls are coming from INSIDE YOUR VAGINA!'"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

vag is surely the correct spelling.

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

"... and written all over the uterine walls in blood were the words, "AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU DIDN'T TURN ON THE LIGHTS?"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

ew ew ew ew, I know someone who got a vibrator lost inside her, wrong!

― lukey (Lukey G), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

"She placed the chihuahua in her vagina to dry it out"

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

"the killer was on top of the car, banging her boyfriend's severed vagina on the roof"

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

"All he could hear was the 'THUMP THUMP THUMP' of the telltale vagina."

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

....i'm thinking of the joke where the punchline is: "good shot, right in the cunt"

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

"If you feed pop rocks to a vagina..."

(I realise I've drifted off topic a little)

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

There are already enough vadge (I LOVE THIS SPELLING btw) urban myths that I don't know that we need to make up anymore. Not that this should stop you, Andrew, because the pop rocks one made me snort coffee.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:21 (twenty-one years ago)

(hee hee THE RED VADGE OF COURAGE)
("We don't need no steenking vadges!")

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:21 (twenty-one years ago)

"Get out of the house right now, YOUR VAGINA IS CHOKING ON FINGERS!!!"

― nickn (nickn), Thursday, 10 June 2004 19:04 (twenty-one years ago)

"And then the veterenarian said, "Oh my god lady, that's not a hairless mexican chihuahua, THAT'S A VAGINA WITH RABIES!!!!!!!!!"

― Sengai, Thursday, 10 June 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

It turns out that the maniac had already killed the dog, and the girl awoke to find "Vagina's can lick too" scrawled on the wall in blood.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 10 June 2004 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Never flash your headlights at an approaching vagina.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 10 June 2004 22:43 (twenty-one years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/04/uk_big_brother_housemates/img/9.jpg

i'm really, really sorry

― don (don), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:00 (twenty-one years ago)

(not *that* sorry though)

― don (don), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:00 (twenty-one years ago)

"... and when I woke up I was in a bathtub full of ice and MY VADGE WAS MISSING"

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

oh no can't breathe laughing too hard

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Q: What do you eat in Australia if you're some sort of pussy?

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Um, vadgemite?

― martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

quiche

― the surface noise is so overwhelming that it renders the contents of the re (ele, Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:08 (twenty-one years ago)

thank you, martin.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

The Pit And The Pudendum

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

STOP IT I'M TRYING TO WORK

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Dan on top form :)

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I believe it is more commonly known as vaginamite, often referred to at the same time as penis paste (Peanut paste) by primary school age children....and the man I live with.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:17 (twenty-one years ago)

penis butter and vaginamite

― the surface noise is another unwelcome bonus resulting from a preamp's inab (ele, Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 464 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F2UWMEUU

― الله basedأكبر (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 12 February 2011 16:47 (fourteen years ago)

six months pass...

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1180/952589017_ada5b6da70_o.jpg

― remy bean, Sunday, 4 September 2011 22:28 (fourteen years ago)

one year passes...

Just remembered this thread. I'll always love you, Lysol Douche.

― Madchen, Friday, 8 March 2013 20:38 (twelve years ago)

"...and when they looked down, all they saw attached to the vagina was A HOOK!"
― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, June 10, 2004 7:09 AM (8 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"'Ma'am," said the police operator, "'The calls are coming from INSIDE YOUR VAGINA!'"
― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, June 10, 2004 7:10 AM (8 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― sleepingbag, Friday, 8 March 2013 21:10 (twelve years ago)

this is amazing

― sleepingbag, Friday, 8 March 2013 21:10 (twelve years ago)

Memories, corners of mind, etc.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 8 March 2013 21:17 (twelve years ago)

oh man, that ridiculous AIM chat

― "Bellini." (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 21:20 (twelve years ago)

LYSOL?????????????????
― luna (luna.c), Friday, June 18, 2004 10:08 AM (8 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 8 March 2013 21:23 (twelve years ago)

leaving stains
all round his forehead?
izzy stradlin
something horrid?
LYSOL DOUCHE
― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, June 18, 2004 9:33 PM (8 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

all-time.

― c sharp major, Friday, 8 March 2013 21:40 (twelve years ago)

yes

― "Bellini." (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 21:40 (twelve years ago)

genius

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 8 March 2013 21:42 (twelve years ago)

Just remembered it's International Women's Day :-/

― Madchen, Friday, 8 March 2013 21:44 (twelve years ago)

haha I thought that's why you revived this!

― "Bellini." (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 21:50 (twelve years ago)

it's like the vagina monologues, in a way

― 凸凹凸凹凸凹凸 (c sharp major), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:07 (twelve years ago)

I was worried about vaginas.
I was worried about what we think about vaginas
And I was even more worried
that we don't think about them.
I was worried about my own vagina.
LYSOL DOUCHE

― 凸凹凸凹凸凹凸 (c sharp major), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:24 (twelve years ago)

― Darth Icky (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:25 (twelve years ago)

uh oh

― ≪江南Style≫ (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:26 (twelve years ago)

never forget

― mookieproof, Friday, 8 March 2013 22:32 (twelve years ago)

wow

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:34 (twelve years ago)

: O

― christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:38 (twelve years ago)

some things are best forgotten, forever

― ≪江南Style≫ (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:40 (twelve years ago)

and then there is the Dreadful Cunnilingus Incident

― Darth Icky (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:41 (twelve years ago)

no way ilx should have a town square with a statue of DJP in honor of such stories

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:41 (twelve years ago)

that should absolutely happen

― ≪江南Style≫ (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 9 March 2013 00:17 (twelve years ago)

with a rim that can be rolled up to win

― ≪江南Style≫ (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 9 March 2013 00:17 (twelve years ago)

Buyer Beware: The case of Lysol disinfectant

― Let's talk more my bunny! (doo dah), Tuesday, 19 March 2013 01:26 (twelve years ago)

two months pass...

a friend of a friend of mine has three lips, ew. any advances?
― lukey (Lukey G), Thursday, June 10, 2004 6:52 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― they are either militarists (ugh) or kangaroos (?) (DJP), Tuesday, 4 June 2013 20:31 (twelve years ago)

This, the BNL album cover thread, AND thread for pictures of Drake looking ridiculous all revived today!

― emilys., Tuesday, 4 June 2013 23:05 (twelve years ago)

http://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_m83spjEDsk1rpbpum.jpg

― mookieproof, Wednesday, 5 June 2013 00:58 (twelve years ago)

what the

― johnny crunch, Wednesday, 5 June 2013 00:59 (twelve years ago)

loool i would kinda maybe buy those if they were real

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 00:59 (twelve years ago)

http://weknowmemes.com/2012/05/spongebob-is-a-tampon/

― Sir Lord Baltimora (Myonga Vön Bontee), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 01:51 (twelve years ago)

Most unfortunate author name?

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/P/B0051HEJ86.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

― ornamental cabbage (James Morrison), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 02:14 (twelve years ago)

no relation

― the Quim of Bendigo (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 02:14 (twelve years ago)

lol adam

― ¬╡▫ ▫╞⌠ (sic), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 03:44 (twelve years ago)

six years pass...

Actually Lysol was advertised as a contraceptive. Let's dig in. https://t.co/I0gx92kCUA
— Gillian Frank (@1gillianfrank1) June 10, 2019

― Arugula Raccoon (DJP), Monday, 10 June 2019 21:45 (six years ago)

ten months pass...

“We must be clear that under no circumstance should our disinfectant products be administered into the human body (through injection, ingestion or any other route),”

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/apr/24/trump-lysol-injection-claim-maker-hits-back

― Madchen, Friday, 24 April 2020 15:25 (five years ago)

loooool I was hoping this is why this thread was revived

― DJP, Friday, 24 April 2020 16:00 (five years ago)

The Pit And The Pudendum

I peaked early on this site

― DJP, Friday, 24 April 2020 18:52 (five years ago)

Alice in her party dress
would-be suitors skulk away
needs to freshen up a bit
before she starts attracting strays
Lysol douche will do the trick
brisk as cool spring rains that fall she'll
spray it where the sun don't shine per-
-haps she ought to use it all to-dayayayayayay
― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, January 24, 2005 4:44 PM (fifteen years ago)

is this on the Goths album?

― sarahell, Friday, 24 April 2020 19:02 (five years ago)

Love this thread so much.

― Madchen, Friday, 24 April 2020 19:42 (five years ago)

oh no the dreadful incident link is broken

― mookieproof, Friday, 24 April 2020 20:05 (five years ago)

little did we know then that one day the lysol douche would be president

― He is married to Brogmus, Linda. (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 24 April 2020 20:10 (five years ago)

did you leave town? or did you stay?

― "...And the Gods Socially Distanced" (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 24 April 2020 20:33 (five years ago)

tyvm

― mookieproof, Friday, 24 April 2020 20:54 (five years ago)

two years pass...

https://i.imgur.com/PEM9wq6.jpg

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 19 June 2022 00:19 (three years ago)

look this is the relevant thread okay just roll with it

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 19 June 2022 00:19 (three years ago)

Bravo!

― Madchen, Sunday, 19 June 2022 08:07 (three years ago)

I like to think the advert has a subtly codified subtext:
https://i.imgur.com/Advf1wJ.jpg

― Ashley Pomeroy, Sunday, 19 June 2022 16:36 (three years ago)

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