"They were especially opposed to the lemon flavoured chews, which 'undoubtedly show a green figure having sex with a lemon.'"

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Link stolen from Pumpkin Publog.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:03 (twenty-one years ago)

"The lemon, which from the drawing looks female, is obviously enjoying it with the greatest of pleasure."

That lemon does NOT look female.

― morris pavilion (samjeff), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:06 (twenty-one years ago)

The Vatican have some funny ideas about what women look like...

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

To be fair, that green thing is fucking all kinds of shit out of that lemon.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

whoever said those wrappers depict fellatio has quite an imagination

― amateur!!st, Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

OR an extra mouth in an embarrassing location.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"We're not against Wrap, we're not against Wrappers, but we
are against those thugs"

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.candywrappermuseum.com/cx_cherrychan2.jpg

There are so many other candry wrappers that the Vatican should come out against before the fruity fruit ones...

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I love how the Haribo spokesman didn't actually deny the wrappers depict lemon-fucking.

― Richard C (avoid80), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.retrocrush.com/archive2/offensive/cherryclan.jpg

It's been changed to Cherry "CLAN"... now it's less offensive.

― andy, Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Footsie action:

http://www.haribo.com/planet/uk/info/maoam/Bilder/2002.jpg

― morris pavilion (samjeff), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:18 (twenty-one years ago)

mmm now i'm in the mood for some KKKandy

― amateur!!st, Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I occasionally ride on imported Milanese streetcars with Italian adverts and this one had the little M&M guys swinging by a woman's cleavage with big smiles on their faces, much bigger smiles than those M&Ms were not in the same proximity to the bosom.

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

That "Cherry Clan" is more offensive to me. At least Cherry Chan looks like he could kick your ass. That, and he has pupils.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Spokesman Marco Alfter said: "The new wrapping is certainly fruitier than the old".

vive le double entendre

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Guns don't fuck lemons, wrappers do.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

First hit for a Google image search for "haribo" (ESSENTIALLY NSFW AND ALSO EW EW EW)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

oh good christ

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

How is that NSFW?

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

How is that ew ew ew?

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

This sort of reminds me of that Onion thing about the discontinued Kool-Aid mascot The Grapist, a giant anthropomophic grape who sodomises thirsty children.

― Fergal (Ferg), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

HAHAHA

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Funniest possible things to say during moment of climax.
MAOAM!!!!!

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.retrocrush.com/archive2/offensive/rotsoruck.jpg

The Chinese guy is picking a four clover! How international.

― andy, Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Holy shit.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Could be worse. Could be a rhino.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

BEFORE

http://www.retrocrush.com/archive2/offensive/chinesecherry.jpg

AFTER

http://www.retrocrush.com/archive2/offensive/choochoocherry.jpg

― andy, Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Good fuck America is insane.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2004/US/South/08/27/911.toy.ap/story.toy.ap.jpg

― morris pavilion (samjeff), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.authentichistory.com/diversity/african/images/1950sc_Coon_Chicken_Inn_Menu.jpg

― amateur!!st, Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I am not getting any happier.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:36 (twenty-one years ago)

hard to see, but:
http://www.xtremeinformation.com/str/231936/thumb/0968000/968252.jpg

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

haha, jaX0n and his wife included a bag of those from spain (among other things) as a thank you present for their wedding.

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

best thread everrrrrrr

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.retrocrush.com/archive2/offensive/nips.jpg

I actually like these, kinda.

― andy, Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

http://images.ibsys.com/2004/0830/3691017.jpg

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.taquitos.net/dbimages13/CheeseNips-SalsaCheddar.jpg

― sexyDancer, Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

*insert picture of breasts here*

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:46 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.kurtschlosser.com/seattle/seattle_archive/dicks.jpg

― sexyDancer, Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:46 (twenty-one years ago)

There was one of these in Norfolk, Va., when I was growing up there. Might still be, in fact; I saw it again just a few years ago.

http://www.asianjoke.com/pictures/img/chinkee.jpg

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Still available in Spain:
http://personal.telefonica.terra.es/web/medallonpajares/images/conguitos.jpg

― sexyDancer, Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahaha I hate to side with the VATICAN but those wrappers ARE totally sexed up!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

http://carcino.gen.nz/images/image.php/5e4c70c7/beat_meat.jpg

― morris pavilion (samjeff), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

sexyDancer refreshed my memory, they were in fact Conguitos.

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

This is the thread where English people are made into crazed xenophobes, right?

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.cardhouse.com/travel/az/foodcity35.jpg

― Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes. Yes it is.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

there's a chicken place in mtl called "mini-coq"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

and some sort of factory off the freeway called "multidik"!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 11 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

The ad campaign used to be 'It's so hard to have a Gaytime on your own'.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 04:41 (twenty-one years ago)

it certainly is

― purple patch (electricsound), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 04:44 (twenty-one years ago)

http://herveybay.mygroceryshop.com.au/images/coon_tasty_block.jpg

One of Australia's top selling cheeses.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 05:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Every day on the way to USC I drive past this place

http://www.kumhousa.com/images/template/logo_header.gif

and every day I giggle.

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 05:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Why?

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 06:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Because I want to K on her Ts

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 06:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, I can only assume it's because Haribo have different marketing strategies in the UK and US, but no one pointed out the fact that their advertising slogan in the UK is "KIDS & GROWN-UPS LOVE IT SO / THE HAPPY WORLD OF HARIBO" which is now TOTALLY SINISTER.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 06:47 (twenty-one years ago)

j e r e m y you are a bad man.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 06:48 (twenty-one years ago)

MAOAM?

worst palindrome ever.

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 06:59 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a sweet and delicious Willy Wonka acronym:

My
Asshole
Only
Accepts
Marshmallows

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 07:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a box of sweets from Denmark called Spunk. They're licorice sweets. Scared to search for a link at work though.

Quite a few of the sweets there have unsavoury names which when translated into English are called the likes of 'Dog Farts' and 'Bird Shit' etc. I'm sure they're made by Haribo too.

― mms (mms), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 07:04 (twenty-one years ago)

http://user.icx.net/~richmond/rsr/pataphysique/pschitt3.jpg

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 07:18 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.jakehowlett.com/tuckshop/wrappers/chocolate/filled/plopp.jpg

Marca 3 Cuochi seems to be unGoogleable but has red-lipped equal opportunity for a 1930s black man, Oriental man and white man. As Ed says, 'it's equally offensive to everyone!'

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 07:22 (twenty-one years ago)

hmm, tasteful....

http://www.petermoore.net/nsitt/suspicious/darkie.jpg

― zappi (joni), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 07:42 (twenty-one years ago)

man i could sure go for some Krazy Kotton Kandy right now...

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 08:57 (twenty-one years ago)

You all have taken my lovely thread about pictures of green jellybeanesque figures sexually pleasuring fruit and ruined it with racism.

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:36 (twenty-one years ago)

i think lemons should stick to their own kind

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:39 (twenty-one years ago)

How is the lemon female? This was never addressed. If you print it out in black&white, say to show to colleagues, it looks as though it has fucking stubble!

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:39 (twenty-one years ago)

What did one lemon say to the other lemon?

"Hello lemon."

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:40 (twenty-one years ago)

zing!

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:43 (twenty-one years ago)

"fucking stubble"

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:45 (twenty-one years ago)

anyway what's all the fuss? it's nowhere near as bad as what i was brought up on:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/jel2004/chaz.jpg

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Well it is having sex, allegedly.

X-post

HE IS FUCKING TEH CAKE!

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Lemon#1: I'm leaving you, I've found new love with a strange bulbous jellybeanesque green figure

Lemon#2: fucking bitch!

Lemon#1: don't be bitter

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Spokesman Marco Alfter said: "The new wrapping is certainly fruitier than the old."

― Rockist_Scientist (rockist_scientist), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Lemon#2: first they drop me from the Hooch label, now this!

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:47 (twenty-one years ago)

(Tico Tico already beat you to that observation on Pumpkin Publog)

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I should bloody well hope so to! (Didn't have mind to read the Publog last night when thread started.)

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:51 (twenty-one years ago)

http://freespace.virgin.net/daz.bert/mirror/rudefood/food/cockpage/morecock.jpg

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:59 (twenty-one years ago)

ihttp://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2002/20020211l.gif

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"It's fucking nutritious."

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

The tragedy of Interweb humor -- great idea, can't come up with a punch line, geeks out in the last panel and I'm left feeling dirty.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:05 (twenty-one years ago)

now we know what the jug o' Cranjuice really means...

― the neurotic awakening of OHHH YEEEAAAAAHHH! (blueski), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

a man walks into a fancy dress party with his knob in a trifle...

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:08 (twenty-one years ago)

(I cannot look at the sentence "HE IS FUCKING TEH CAKE!" without dissolving into laughter)

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

yeh it's been tickling me for the last fortnight, unlike Chas and his cake-smeared plasticine gnob

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.allfunpix.com/humor/pics2/kumngo.jpg

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 17:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually been to this one:
http://tularecounty.com/humor/images/signs/bunghole.jpg

― sexyDancer, Wednesday, 1 September 2004 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.geocities.com/acewhiskey/st/dstyle.jpg

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

http://image.presidentschoice.ca/presidentschoice/PI168636038373632BI.jpg?wid=192&hei=192&cvt=jpeg

― La Monte (La Monte), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.numbertwopencil.net/graphics/cat.jpg

― Jesse Fuchs (Jesse Fuchs), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Proving once again that the artist, no matter how maligned by the establishment, merely reflects the reality around them. Well, except for Eazy-E; he just plain sucked.

― Jesse Fuchs (Jesse Fuchs), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 18:59 (twenty-one years ago)

And I'm still hoping that that's not a condom on the floor by the rabbit under the kitten's paw.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

HE IS BLOWING TEH KITTEN!

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 2 September 2004 08:11 (twenty-one years ago)

i only just noticed amateurist did my joke way before i did - how pathetic

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 2 September 2004 08:12 (twenty-one years ago)

(oh, silly me, I just thought the green blob was a LIME)

MAOAM adverts are fucking insidious.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 2 September 2004 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.pacult.com/imgs/wall/ffremix2_sm.jpg

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Thursday, 2 September 2004 11:15 (twenty-one years ago)

twelve years pass...

https://web.archive.org/web/20040901043822/http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1086492.html

never forget

― ¶ (DJP), Thursday, 8 December 2016 18:51 (nine years ago)

Missed this first time around, 12 years ago predates my time on ILX. Thanks, I am obviously enjoying it with the greatest of pleasure!

― Snorting and all (Dan Peterson), Thursday, 8 December 2016 19:01 (nine years ago)

it's great to remember that ilx really hit the ground running in those early days

It's a sweet and delicious Willy Wonka acronym:
My
Asshole
Only
Accepts
Marshmallows
― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Wednesday, September 1, 2004 2:00 AM (twelve years ago)

― though she denies it to the press, (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Thursday, 8 December 2016 19:06 (nine years ago)

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