i have the apartment to myself for the next 36 hours...

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...what should i do?

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

The obvious answers are so obvious that I shall let them pass by unremarked.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

YES, NED, I'M ALREADY NAKED.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Rearrange the whole room! Redesign it on a nautical theme. Now get to work.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I usually end up playing antisocial sad computer games. And the obvious.

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

YES, NED, I'M ALREADY NAKED.

Then set up the webcam already, dammit!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:31 (twenty-two years ago)

the obvious = house cricket! (or is that just me?)

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Are there drawers you can go through? Or underneath furniture, that's wort a look.

― Graham McCreepyWeepy (graham), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

right now i'm eating ice cream in my underpants @ 10 am and somehow this little bachelor's sojourn is proving to be a let down.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

there are no drawers to go through (mostly because our clothes are in a large pile in the middle of the bedroom.)

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Are the clothes clean? You could spend some time rolling in them and pretending they're $100 bills.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

turn the living room into a (roller)disco. find multiple cats, grease their paws with butter and make them battle for yr amusement.

― Ess Kay (esskay), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Are the clothes clean?

ahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha
hahahahahah
hahah
hah

sigh

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Go down the stairs headfirst in a sleeping bag, on your front. That's what I do when Sarah and Tom aren't there. Sometimes Sarah is there. I'm shameless.

― alix (alix), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually boringly enough what I mostly do when Sarah and Alix aren't there is real actual work, and surfing ILX and feeling a kind of niggling self-dissatisfaction over the state of my room.

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:45 (twenty-two years ago)

unfortunately this (excellent) idea is impeded by a. lack of a sleeping bag and b. the fact that i have about 6 steps before i hit a landing.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh. I am sorry. Perhaps you could pretend you are a snake and slither *up* the stairs, or just round the house, hissing at table legs.

― alix (alix), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha BANGFLAT!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

you'll be sorry when nancy gets back from her class trip, dan perry.

(haha that makes me sound like a pedo. "class trip.")

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I am not afraid! (eep)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

update: i am now watching "the view" and shooting at the tv with a bubble gun. this is quite normal, actually.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:56 (twenty-two years ago)

shooting at the tv with a bubble gun

Ow. Worst Euphemism Ever.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

ARGH.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

i walked right into that.

i really should aim better.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

But to THE VIEW of all things!

― Kim (Kim), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

mmm, star jones.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

further update: now listening to destiny's child this is the remix. it's not very good.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

further update: now listening to destiny's child this is the remix. it's not very good.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

time had come to a standstill in jess's apartment

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

this may very well be the best thing i've read today.

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

further update: now listening to destiny's child this is the remix. it's not very good.
-- jess (dubplatestyle@hotmail.com), October 7th, 2002
further update: now listening to destiny's child this is the remix. it's not very good.
-- jess (dubplatestyle@hotmail.com), October 7th, 2002
further update: now listening to destiny's child this is the remix. it's not very good.
-- jess (dubplatestyle@hotmail.com), October 7th, 2002
further update: now listening to destiny's child this is the remix. it's not very good.
-- jess (dubplatestyle@hotmail.com), October 7th, 2002
further update: now listening to destiny's child this is the remix. it's not very good.
-- jess (dubplatestyle@hotmail.com), October 7th, 2002
further update: now listening to destiny's child this is the remix. it's not very good.
-- jess (dubplatestyle@hotmail.com), October 7th, 2002
further update: now listening to destiny's child this is the remix. it's not very good.
-- jess (dubplatestyle@hotmail.com), October 7th, 2002
further update: now listening to destiny's child this is the remix. it's not very good.
-- jess (dubplatestyle@hotmail.com), October 7th, 2002
further update: now listening to destiny's child this is the remix. it's not very good.
-- jess (dubplatestyle@hotmail.com), October 7th, 2002

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

call up a friend you rarely see and tell them to come over tomorrow - this way you have to clean your room and ting and there's that seeing other people bonus, too

― Ol' Mother Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't know anyone out here! i'm thinking about maybe going to evergeeen and stalking some indie kids for a while as a sort of anthropological study, but that would require putting on pants = a bridge too far.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

since when did stalking require pants?

― a giveaway question too far (mark s), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha mark my next msg was: "so stalk them pantslessly"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

pant pant

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

and thus are the cultural differences between the states and the motherland most clearly rendered.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

jess thinks he's so advanced / with his destiny's child and his modern pants / go buck wild, jess, get buck nekkid!! / stalk some co-eds and steal new rekkids!!

(p.s. i am so sorry)

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

tracer i would kiss you right now if i could.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

update: just ate a tortilla. tried dunking it in my coffee. didn't die.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

dance the night away!

― eddie (jel), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

making discoveries: my face seems to smell more when i don't shave for a couple days.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Face-sniffing is several miles down the road to mentalism.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 October 2002 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

the fact that i even figured out how is sure sign of that.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

obviously you just cup your face

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Monday, 7 October 2002 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

shhhh!

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

don't you just smell your hand then though?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 7 October 2002 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

i KNOW what my hands smell like.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Ew, this is after you were "shooting your bubble gun" at the ladies on "The View", right? EW.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 October 2002 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe this will give you some ideas on how to spend your time, jess

http://www.celebriducks.com/ducks4.jpg

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Monday, 7 October 2002 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

THERE IS NO GOD

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 October 2002 18:15 (twenty-two years ago)

i can see why they keep the betty boop duck locked up

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Monday, 7 October 2002 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Walk over to Lacey and give up your soul.

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 7 October 2002 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

It's like the voices in Jess's head are in fact ILX.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 7 October 2002 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

EVERYONE needs to go to brian's link RIGHT NOW.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

the headline is hardly borne out by the story

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 7 October 2002 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

It's like the voices in Jess's head are in fact ILX.

Isn't that why we all hang out here?

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 7 October 2002 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

my head is roomy.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

My whole existence has been dedicated to being a voice in Jess's head. And that story is amusing enough, it reminds me of the Jack Chick parody Saturnalia come to life.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 7 October 2002 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

jess try masturbating!

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Monday, 7 October 2002 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

oh wait.

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Monday, 7 October 2002 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

mitch, you cad!

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

anyway, i'm off to find the lacey penis!! report back later.

entertain me in my absence.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 7 October 2002 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Cad, n. [Abbrev. fr. cadet.] 1. A person who stands at the door of an omnibus to open and shut it, and to receive fares; an idle hanger-on about innyards. [Eng.] --Dickens.

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Monday, 7 October 2002 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

all aboard!

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Monday, 7 October 2002 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

oh hes gone i had the perfect passtime: download and then learn to sing + dance entirely to The Ketchup Song

― vic (vicc13), Monday, 7 October 2002 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

In the meantime, the Michael Jackson duck looks more realistically human than MJ does these days.

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 7 October 2002 23:25 (twenty-two years ago)

okay, so i didn't find the penis. however, i did meet a fish which was made out of what used to previously hold other fish:

http://members.aol.com/nessdearvell/fish1.jpg
http://members.aol.com/nessdearvell/fish2.jpg
http://members.aol.com/nessdearvell/fish3.jpg
http://members.aol.com/nessdearvell/fish4.jpg
http://members.aol.com/nessdearvell/fish5.jpg
http://members.aol.com/nessdearvell/fish6.jpg

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 8 October 2002 00:08 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread i s greatha to readh at 2.51 in the morning when drinking bitter beer!!!@

― dave k, Tuesday, 8 October 2002 00:51 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

hmmm.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 5 March 2004 03:47 (twenty-one years ago)

how long do you have the apartment to yourself for?

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 5 March 2004 03:48 (twenty-one years ago)

shake it like a polaroid picture

― omg, Friday, 5 March 2004 03:48 (twenty-one years ago)

three months pass...

i never did find that damn penis

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 01:28 (twenty years ago)

I'm up to my hump in crunk

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 01:32 (twenty years ago)

i don't have time to read it right now, but is this the thread where you smelt your face?

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 01:37 (twenty years ago)

yes!!

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 01:50 (twenty years ago)

haha i am going to die alone

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 01:51 (twenty years ago)

smelling my face

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 01:51 (twenty years ago)

searching for "penis topiary"

http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/archive/2002/May/08/local/images/05local.gif

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 01:52 (twenty years ago)

(ILX could use some restrictive covenants)

I have jam on my bees

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 01:54 (twenty years ago)

CUTIES!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 02:11 (twenty years ago)

So this is what "classic ILE" was all about....

Curious.

*skips off*

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 08:33 (twenty years ago)

fuck off "dee"

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 09:21 (twenty years ago)

*grins*

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 09:21 (twenty years ago)

*stabs self 37 times in arm for typing *grins**

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 09:22 (twenty years ago)

we should have face smelling parities ala wine tastings

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 09:27 (twenty years ago)

"nutty, with a hint of citrus and autumn"

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 09:27 (twenty years ago)

Jess, you shouldn't have cussed to Dee, she's the one person here who doesn't deserve it.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 09:34 (twenty years ago)

haha

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 09:50 (twenty years ago)

jess may i just compliment you on the new name - it made me laugh out loud yesterday

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 10:08 (twenty years ago)

haha

Jess cruelly OTM.

― adam (adam), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 12:57 (twenty years ago)

http://www.newcomicreviews.com/temp/spidey/spidey12.jpg

― Player Piano Gamelan (ex machina), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 13:03 (twenty years ago)

two years pass...

update: just ate a tortilla. tried dunking it in my coffee. didn't die.

-- jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, October 7, 2002 6:54 PM (4 years ago)

proto nuevo cuisine!

― ^@^, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:47 (eighteen years ago)

ugh, god, i can still remember the taste

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:48 (eighteen years ago)

I salute you, sir.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:57 (eighteen years ago)

This thread makes me wish I had stairs in my house.

― Pleasant Plains, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:06 (eighteen years ago)

i love how even when i'm dating someone i'm still doing the same dumb stuff i do when single

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:07 (eighteen years ago)

"let's drink a bottle of tequila and run around in the snow in our underwear!"

"uh, no."

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:07 (eighteen years ago)

sounds hot

― lfam, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:11 (eighteen years ago)

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