"The Talk" ya know with your parents in regards to sex.

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On "Dad" thread this was brought up. Lets discuss. Did you have one, how old. Mine was short. I was twelve on the golfcourse with my father.

Art: "Do you get aroused when you see girls?"
Me: "End it."

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 7 March 2003 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

As said on said thread, no talk. Sex ed films at school plus some useful nonpatronizing/nonmoralistic books on the subject plus my parents' faith in my intelligence = no embarrassing stammering conversations, for which we were all grateful.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 7 March 2003 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

The only thing my dad ever said to me on a golf course was "Hurry up with that bag, son!"

Mom gave me a book, I think when I was 12. The rest I had to figure out on my own, through a diverse mix of late-night softcore on cable, borrowed hardcore porn (ugh I know!) and trial-and-error.

― hstencil, Friday, 7 March 2003 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't really get a talk either; my mum gave me some books about it when I was about 6 or 7, and that was it; apart from school biology lessons in my teens.

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 7 March 2003 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

i was so scared of 'the talk' that for like an entire year (around 5th grade) any time my dad approached me at all, even just to tell me to come to dinner, i became terrified.

finally one day he came into my bedroom, and sat on my bed, and he was just as nervous as me, if not more nervous... and he said, "uh, your mother, uh, your mother wants me to, uh, have, uh, this talk with you, uh" and just shouted "i already know everything!" and he looked up and was like "yeah? okay, if she asks, we had 'the talk', ok?" and i agreed and that was it.

― john fail (cenotaph), Friday, 7 March 2003 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I think Hstencil got the worst version of "The Talk" out of everyone.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 7 March 2003 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah late night Skinemax when I was a kid, ah who am i shittin, late night Skinemax now.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 7 March 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

The only time my parents contributed to my sex education was when I was about 5 years old and my dad pinned up a huge porn poster in my bedroom, he was drunk and arguing with my mum at the time. They're the only details I can remember.

― Fuzzy (Fuzzy), Friday, 7 March 2003 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

You're still learning, Chris V? That must make your family plans hypothetical yet. ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 7 March 2003 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

thats for the haircape comment isn't it. "Hurry people hide behind my haircape, I shall shield you from harm!"

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 7 March 2003 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Fighting fire with fire, m'friend.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 7 March 2003 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

The best sex ed I ever got was when I worked part-time in a newsagent and read all the problem pages in the magazines.

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 7 March 2003 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan what inadequacies I had in education I make up for in, uh, other departments.

(honestly is mine all that much different from most people?)

― hstencil, Friday, 7 March 2003 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

(Um, my post was all about taking "Hurry up with that bag, son!" out of context.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 7 March 2003 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I dont think the talk ever happened at all. i had a lot of sex-ed classes. in fact, there were really no talks at all. i think my parents asked me once if i had tried marijuana and i said yes but that i didnt smoke that often and that was it.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Friday, 7 March 2003 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

All my dad said was "If you go paddling, wear yer wellies".

― SittingPretty (sittingpretty), Friday, 7 March 2003 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

i remember the first time i ever saw hardcore porn (which belonged to my dad). i put the video in and BAM! there was a closeup of a penis ramming a vagina, and i was just sort of shocked by actually seeing it.

― john fail (cenotaph), Friday, 7 March 2003 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

My dad put a bunch of hardcore porn in my bedroom closet when I was 12 (the same year he made me get stoned with him). The first sex-related thing I ever saw was a magazine called "Raunchy," whose cover had a close-up of a woman's crotch with a cucumber in her vagina and a carrot in her asshole. I found it on a Sunday morning before church, and my dad told me later that day that he was "proud" of me for looking at it.

My mom, on the other hand, gave me a book by Dr. James Dobson about adolescence. She highlighted a section of the book where it said Jesus never masturbated, plus she cut out an Ann Landers column and put it on my bedroom door. It said that if you masturbated you were no longer a virgin.

Suffice it so say my parents were divorced.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 7 March 2003 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Never got the sex talk. As far as my parents are concerned, I may not know what it is still.

― Mandee, Friday, 7 March 2003 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh also DESMOND MORRIS TO THREAD. Under the bedclothes reading of The Naked Ape was a bit of a revelation.

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:01 (twenty-two years ago)

One of the most awkward things ever is a short film on the Educational Archives DVD volume 1, Sex & Drugs. It's a film about teaching sex ed to mentally retarded children. One particularly uncomfortable scene depicts a mentally retarded child in the act of self-abuse (mercifully concealed, of course) during which his mother walks in on him, who then says something like, "I know what you were doing, and that's natural, and if you have any questions, then you can talk with me." AWKWARD!! That whole DVD is one big squirm-fest.

― Ernest P. (ernestp), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Does The Naked Ape do what it says on the tin then?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

my mother rented a video for me to watch when i was 12 or 13...i think i had pretty much figured it out by then though...thank you, comics

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha, my mom doesn't really explain such things, she figured it was beneath me to have to hear such a discussion, she was just like, you know what it is, what the hell do I gotta talk about this for? She's also the type of person who seems to think it's fantastic when my dates end the next morning instead of at an appropriate time, so there you go.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

My mother never mentioned one thing at all about sex to me. I once got really drunk though and told her how many people I had sex with once...she wasn't pleased.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:17 (twenty-two years ago)

i got given a book with drawings

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

it was pink and grey

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

My mom came thisclose to asking me how big someone was once! I was shocked and then she said, "Oh, I can't ask you that...maybe Justine will get the dirt", Justine being my close friend who also has discourse with my mom all the time. I was like, what? You are my mom!

One time I seemed shocked that my sister was on birth control (not out of puritan reasons mind you but because my sister was always such a goody-good that I figured that she'd be a "waiter" type), and my mom replied, "HAHAHA, you are such a moron, what do you think they do at the end of the night, curtsey and bow and say 'Good night my lady'?"

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Manwatching was my bible (when I was seven).

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

My friend had it pretty bad, his mother was a sexual dynamo...one day we were snooping through his parents drawers, probably looking for his dads porn stash and came across a huge, fat, cucumber looking dildo, crotchless panties, a vibe, handcuffs, nipple clamps...etc. Needless to say we tormented him with the dildo jokes for years, in fact we still do.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

An epilogue to my post above: In that same conversation my dad and I had after I looked at the mag, he told me, "Now Yancey, I don't want you to feel badly if your penis isn't as big as the ones in the pictures. Those men get paid to have those."

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

My parents, being hippies, started ridiculously early. I can't remember ever being aware of a time when I didn't know how babies were made. We had this cartoon picture book of hippie daddy and hippie mummy making hippie babies with cartoon penises and vulvas. We just used to giggle at them cause all their furniture and even their car (in which they rushed to the local hospital to give birth) had giant pink HIPPIE HEARTS all over them, to show how much in love they were.

― kate, Friday, 7 March 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Yancey and Ally's posts are entertaining me greatly.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not sure I ever had "The Talk" although I do remember my mother telling me where babies came from when I was 3 or so. When I was ten she made me watch some "Babies Having Babies" afterschool special. In ninth grade, my piano teacher was giving me old women's magazines, so between them and that year's health class, I guess she figured I knew. I've never told her I've had sex, though I'd be really disappointed if she thought I hadn't by now.

Oh, and there were occasionally Playboys around the house when my dad was still alive, and there are still the various 'erotic' books on the top shelf of their library.

(Did your parents let you see them naked when you were little?)

― rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

i think my mother came close to admitting to me that she had cheated on my father this xmas...she is losing her mind

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Looking up penis and vagina in the dictionary age 7 started us off. A couple of years later my school showed us this sex ed video, and my parent were on the school board so got to watch it to see what it was about. The nearest I got to a talk from my parents was them saying "We've seen the video" or something. A few years later something on TV maybe prompted my mum to ask "You know all about ..." Me: "YES!".

― Graham (graham), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Wierd, I don't remember not knowing! I think there was Nova on sex and birth that I must have seen at like 9 or 10. Anyway, folks = totally mum.

I wrote a pro-condom editorial in my HS newspaper and it caused qt a bit of controversy, so at the end of the yr I was given a gag-gift of "Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex *but were afraid to ask" (book not movie). I was ASTOUNDED by its wrongness.

― g.cannon (gcannon), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember the first time I busted a nut....

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

i've always wanted to say that.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

And to think that your wife may be with child!

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm sure I busted a nut then.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember my first time too, Chris. Nothing came out.

And on my 13th birthday my father told me that my mother had cheated on him with his best friend (who is now my stepfather) and that's why they had divorced. He was unbelievably drunk. We were out having dinner. I've never been so traumatized.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I may have misunderstood what busting a nut means?

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah me neither Yancey. Air came out...it felt good though.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes. Yes, I have.

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

the first time i busted a nut involved using a "fur" i had gotten at scout camp

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyone else shoot air their first time?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

haha. was it beaver?

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

ha!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

haha i dont even think it was "real" fur

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 7 March 2003 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 27 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

(Did your parents let you see them naked when you were little?)

Ew, dear god yes. Far too often. All the time, in fact, they would be wandering around the house with no clothes on.

*shudder*

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Did I mention the time my mom and her boyfriend wanted my sisters and I to go to a nudist camp with them? (this happened when I was 16)
Oh, I did? Several several times? Sorry. I'm still a bit traumatized by the whole thing.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:20 (twenty-two years ago)

HOT.

― g.cannon (gcannon), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm still back on this "shooting air" thing.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:25 (twenty-two years ago)

shooting air

Not sexy! CENSOR! CENSOR!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I wonder if the fact that I can't remember when I first had the sex talk is connected to the fact that I can't remember how young I was when I first masturbated. Hrmmmmm.

Nudism, yuck. Though I was never told to put my shirt on while sunbathing until I turned 12 and developped "bouncing problems"

― kate (suzy), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't remember how young I was when I first masturbated.
I think I was very very little. I still used my mickey mouse sleeping bag at the time.

Nudism, yuck. It was bad enough that my mom told us about how the sex was going with her bfs.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

those aren't problems, kate.

― hstencil, Friday, 7 March 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Sarah are you telling us you masturbated on Mickey? Oh boy.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, does anyone else have a mental image of a comedy "WOOSH!" with attendant flying papers, books, clothes, etc, ending with the poor lad pinned up against the wall with a dazed expression on his face?

Or worse, filling up a balloon and making a poodle out of it?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

In Mickey.

ha ha

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

No I didn't Dan, but now I do. Thanks for making my day.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks, Dan.

― Sarah MCLusky (coco), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't remember how young I was when I first masturbated.

I was 12 or 13. Probably 12. I'd heard the word 'masturbation', but didn't know what it meant until after I'd tried it.

I was taken to naturist camps for my summer holiday for about ... um 10 years or so. When we first started going I was 4 - too young to care. Ten years later, it was a *major* dud. My parents couldn't understand why I refused to take any clothes off: "but you used to love it here so much!"

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd actually be speachless. If it wasn't for the fact that my Lord of the Rings fulfilled the same function at about the same age. Tee hee. Noodles, do you still want to mug me for it now?

― kate (suzy), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I was 11 the first time I snapped it. Well I think I rubbed it or something. Nope, wrong I remember exactly now I remember checking the filter on the pool, while inside and my 11 yr old penis (as massive as it was) ended up against the thing that shoots water back into the pool. It felt good...

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Thank you and goodnight.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

TMI goddamnit TMI!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

This is the funniest thread ever.

Mine is boring. I had The Talk anxiety mentioned above, where I basically refused to be alone with my dad for about a year because I was afraid he would try to give me the talk. He started to a couple of times, but we were both too nervous. My mom got me a book with cartoons instead. It said something about how womens' breats are all different shapes and sizes, and "Next time you're out, look at different womens' breasts to get an idea of the range." So that was cool.

The creepy thing was when my dad was taking me to college and he basically said that I should to try and sleep with lots of different girls and that he regretted having one girlfriend all through college (not my mom, thankfully). Of course, I had a grand total of 2 college girlfriends, one of which I'm still going out with, so screw you dad!

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

My dad was away in the military and my mom worked nights (not in that sense) so my 2 older brothers (named Larry and Jerry, I shit you not) would babysit me. Anyway I was like 5-7 years old and they would buy me candy so I would not tell on them if they watched rated R movies on cable. So my sex education came from Porky's, Porky's 2 The Next Day, Porky's Revenge, My Chauffeur, Angel and a myriad of other bad 80s rated R movies. My parents never once mentioned the word sex to me. Although, when I was 15 and was going on my first date, my mother kept telling me to switch my shoes ( I was wearing sandals) to sneakers. "Just in case I had to run away".

― Carey (Carey), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Emmanuelle is the king of all softcore Cinemax porn.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Tee hee. Noodles, do you still want to mug me for it now?

More then ever, it will be easier to make my Army of Kate Kloans to terrorize Sloan with and create the SHB Apprciation Arkestra.

Though I do feel sorry for Frodo, always on the giving end.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 7 March 2003 19:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Noodles, I worry about you sometimes.

You *do* know that girls generally don't ejaculate their genetic material when they orgasm, right?

― kate (suzy), Friday, 7 March 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

My dad gave me the same promiscuous pep-talk, Nick, only it was when I was about 13. And he gave me this sage advice: "Grab her tits on the second or third kiss."

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 7 March 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

No but you rubbing up close and personal to Frodo means more cells, more DNA.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 7 March 2003 20:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Nah, I preferred the Black Rider side, actually.

― kate (suzy), Friday, 7 March 2003 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

So my sex education came from Porky's

Fine Canadian cinema, and sadly our top grossing movie at least till the mid 90s.
(We are also responsible for the movie that named MBV.)

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 7 March 2003 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Nah, I preferred the Black Rider side, actually.

Well if it was the Bakshi Frodo can't say I blame you, either way thats TMI.

Yet, sadly I think we had this email exchange before.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 7 March 2003 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I never knew Porky's was Canadian. When I was in college my 2 guy friends and I were discussing how everyone has a seduction movie that they put on whenever they bring over people of the opposite sex. For one guy that movie was "Breakfast at Tiffany's". The other guy's was "Bringing Up Baby". And then they both look at me and go "Carey's seduction movie is Porky's".
Hey, it was the only movie I had that I thought would appeal to people of all different backgrounds, religions, interests...

― Carey (Carey), Friday, 7 March 2003 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

The talk was never going to happen in my family. When I was 19, had been engaged for some months, had been on holiday with her, had been away weekends with her, and was about to move in with her the next week, my dad asked me one morning if we had "tried sex together yet". When I said "Yes, of course," he was shocked and disgusted and angry and it turned into one of the biggest rows ever in the house. Yes, I was 19. I should note that he dealt with this because my mother's attitudes were far more old fashioned.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 7 March 2003 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember very distinctly there was a sex ed video we watched in 7th grade called "Am I Normal?" Like most sex ed videos, it was from about 1981. Anyway, the main character is going through "changes" and is asking lots of people if we was, you guessed it, normal! Lots of bad advice ensue (the cool "Fonzy" type character at school tells him his penis will fall off if he keeps getting erections), until he finally approaches a zookeeper. The dialogue goes as follows:

Kid: Am I normal?
Zookeeper: (pause) I know a lot about penises, animal penises that is.
[Class erupts into laughter]

Anyway, my parents bought me that book with the fat people who have sex. That and stealing all my dad's porn mags, talks with classmates (those were pretty classic), Cinemax, about did it. But when I got my first girlfriend my dad must've had a moment of anxiety since we never officially had "the talk" so he started telling me about condoms and to make sure I "used one with a tip." It was cute but horrible.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 7 March 2003 20:30 (twenty-two years ago)

the cool "Fonzy" type character at school would NEVER say something so dumb!

― hstencil, Friday, 7 March 2003 20:32 (twenty-two years ago)

i have the most boring coming out story:

anthony:i think i might be bisexual or gay or something.
mom: we know.

― anthony easton (anthony), Friday, 7 March 2003 20:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Your mom is so cool.

― Carey (Carey), Friday, 7 March 2003 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

the cool "Fonzy" type character at school would NEVER say something so dumb!

Yeah that movie was flawed for SO many reasons! Oh yeah, there was also a scene when he was running on the track and these girls were running toward him... close up to his face and he suddenly realizes something is amiss (in his pants!).

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 7 March 2003 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Kid: Am I normal?
Zookeeper: (pause) I know a lot about penises, animal penises that is.

So this is how Dan will spend retirement, I see...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 7 March 2003 20:59 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.staberinde.fsnet.co.uk/pics/risk.jpg

― Sarah Hotnights (coco), Friday, 7 March 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Or he could travel the world taking pictures of things that look like a penis. Like rock croppings in New Zealand.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 7 March 2003 21:02 (twenty-two years ago)

OH my god, that looks EXACTLY like an ex boyfriend of mine!

I wish I could get my hair to do what the poor nail-biting girl's hair does... man, I'd risk being pregnant for hair like that!

― kate (suzy), Friday, 7 March 2003 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I like his sideburns.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 7 March 2003 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

No talk for me. My mother would just say " if you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask us" Then she would poke my father's side till he nodded in aggreement.

― brg30 (brg30), Friday, 7 March 2003 23:21 (twenty-two years ago)

once i was reading the Sweet Valley Twins book where the twins first get their period and i was totally confused by everything because i didn't know what a "period" was...so i asked my dad and pointed the word out to him in the book and he said, "it must be the period at the end of a sentence"...so i finished the book and had no clue what it was about

― liz p.., Friday, 7 March 2003 23:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I fear for your dad.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 7 March 2003 23:47 (twenty-two years ago)

i was about 12, in my NWA stage.

dad: "son... about girls...."
me : "well, i find em, fuckum and flee, you know, but before i D-O, yo, i take a ho to a hotel, to a motel, to a holiday iiiiinn.... and if that bitch starts fucking up, yo, i'll just fuck her friend."
dad: "ok, son"

― g-kit (g-kit), Saturday, 8 March 2003 11:45 (twenty-two years ago)

a book that had a list, starting with kissing and ending with intercourse, with a line drawn below 'oral stimulation' denoting that that was where one should stop before one was really sure about the person - seems a bit generous to me now.

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Sunday, 9 March 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

when i was 6 and at school some kids told everyone that thier older brother said that sex was yada yada yada. i thought it was NAUGHTY when i was that young. i had a bit of sex education when i was 11, and high school has some now and again but lately its been about gay acceptance and junk like that. yeah iv look up porn now and again...

― poop, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

twelve years pass...

dad had walked in on me kissing my gf in the living room the day before so he was brewing the talk and i knew it and we were both pretty fuckin jumpy but i was nevertheless taken aback when he snuck up behind me as i made a sandwich, laid a heavy reluctant hand on my shoulder and blurted "you dont have to cum in her to make her pregnant" and ran out the room. i left the sandwich.

― trilby mouth (darraghmac), Monday, 16 January 2017 01:15 (eight years ago)

It's in her genes. Elisabeth has known for quite a while how babies are made. She is never having babies:"You have to push them out of your vagina. Hell no." Also recently admitted being nauseated by sex:"Sex is two naked people twerking against eachother. So gross."

― nathom, Monday, 16 January 2017 16:12 (eight years ago)

In her genes cause I figured it out quite quickly as well.

― nathom, Monday, 16 January 2017 16:12 (eight years ago)

my parents were squeamish about this shit so it never happened. basically my idiot best friend told me sex was sticking your finger inside a girl's cooter and blasting away, and then boom, baby. then after I told my parents he was telling me gross stuff about sex my dad basically said "so did he tell you what goes where?" and I said "yes" and he didn't realize the friend had completely bungled it. Then we started sex ed in 5th grade and they assumed I knew.

I still remember the first day of class, waiting to go home and yell at the friend IT ISN'T YOUR FINGER, ASSHOLE

― Neanderthal, Monday, 16 January 2017 16:43 (eight years ago)

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