SOUTHAMPTON ARE STILL A BIG CLUB! The Premier League, 2014/15

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc_PyZRXFlg

So here we are, then.

If Liverpool win the Premiership this season then this is all your fault.

39th thread

Swygart deserves this for the gaffers thread tbrr

Lyall Thomas ‏@LyallThomas 1h
Info is that Sherwood is a major contender for Palace job and will speak to Parish. So will Mackay. #cpfc may well get to choose outright.

I do want to know who's ready

http://i.smimg.net/12/45/640x480_pearsonfall_20121110.jpg

HE'S READY

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ooImmrP0khw/UaIo_PjkqXI/AAAAAAAAACc/wXgNzv3HP7Q/s1600/sanchez-au-barca-une-image-bientot-revolue_101364.jpg

HE'S READY

http://i2.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article3940734.ece/alternates/s615/Ravel-Morrison.jpg

HE SHOULD PROBABLY GET READY

http://static2.demotix.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/a_scale_large/4500-6/photos/1398178101-burnley-fans-celebrate-winning-promotion-to-barclays-premier-league_4531736.jpg

THEY'RE READY

http://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/images/localworld/ugc-images/276308/Article/images/21078560/6094135-large.jpg
GTF IS READY (hold on he is turning, give him a week)

at this point I'm looking forward to the van gaal press conferences more than the actual football. but yeah, bring it on, it's been too long.

http://i.imgur.com/fJnwbB7.png

NONE OF US ARE READY

surely Pellegrini can read Garth's incisive deconstruction and use it to win the title now?

idk about this

Pel starting the mindgames b4 Mour, impressive

I've heard more words from Paul Scholes in the last 15 minutes than in his entire playing career.

Feels weird hearing people try to talk up 3-5-2 again.

Ashley Young gets bird shit in his mouth

remy starts

richard dunne in a back 3

looks like as good an opportunity as any to pick up the points so i'm fairly sure we'll get pwned by some functional competence

naughton kaboul dier rose with capoue bentaleb in front... dunno about that. and bobby soldiers benched

12 Vaz Te 16 Noble 24 Cole 04 Nolan 11 Downing

Substitutes: 10 Zárate 20 Demel 21 Diamé 22 Jääskeläinen 23 Poyet 31 E Valencia 32 Burke

lol what a cunt

v much fancy leicester to win today

Naughton off for handball, Wham miss resultant pen

gahh... functional competence just as predicted. rio weak

looked p okay up to that point, certainly the better side

https://vine.co/v/M3mMh7dKTa2

decent effort to be fair he's made the keeper work there

yes penno

lol completely unjust too

terrifying flashback to remy v fulham pen

ok it's charlie

he's fucking missed

football can fuck back off

Chris Wood definitely not going Wolves, then.

Looking at the fantasy football, could really do with Jordon Mutch doing something in the next five minutes...

galling but not undeserved

much like the whole team mutch had his moments but fairly ragged at the crunch moments. should have been subbed instead of the lovely as ever and criminally mistrusted faurlin

remy remains fine satin negligee in a world of safety overalls. p much like playing with 10 most of the time tbf but still

think Aly Cissokho just pretty much got man of the match in an ultra solid Senderos-Vlaar-Hutton backline ¯\(°_o)/¯

I listened to the today fm commentary for second half of that and have no idea still about anything that happened, only afterwards in the roundup did u realise we were ten vs ten and got a late goal. bizarre.

Pleased with LCFC's fight there, Ulloa looked worth his place too.

Capoue key to the Spuds 3pts too. Solid.

http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.com/time-zone/south-america/chile/images-chile/flag-of-chile.jpg

LOL

Oh.

i didn't realize the games would start airing at FOUR in effing morning

so i'm just watching the last bit of Arsenal & calling it good

https://vine.co/v/M3mMh7dKTa2

decent effort to be fair he's made the keeper work there

reaction of the spurs player top right is the icing on the cake. "oh no, how are we going to re-spot the ball in the exact same place now mummy?`'

richard dunne in a back 3

looks like as good an opportunity as any to pick up the points so i'm fairly sure we'll get pwned by some functional competence

Pretty sure that the instant the first 3-5-2 appeared at the World Cup, Hoddle was all "I knew my time would come again!". The QPR gig is the throwing off of the metaphorical tracksuit that's been coming since that moment.

red card for naughton is a fucking appalling decision Foy is and always was a cunt

Driving down to Loftus Road, blasting The Boys Are Back In Town.

reaction of the spurs player top right is the icing on the cake

Oh, Chrissy Ek. Will you ever win?

van GGGaal interview a good taster of things to come i think, looking forward to mcnulty's take on the aforementioned dutch master.

I'm given to believe that pitch invader had more shots on target than Kevin Nolan and Carlton Cole put together.

it's a possibility that you might be right there matt

For real though that United back three was clearly going to be bullshit.

Masterful bit of getting in the way by Bony for the Swansea opener.

Gullit's a regular this season on motm?

It's weird how on English telly he always seems to make at least some sense, whereas on Dutch telly he's like the David Icke of footy pundits.

I didn't actually see the game but it's strange that LVG didn't play Reece James at left wing-back. He's been excellent there in pre-season. The back three should look a bit healthier when Shaw and Rafael come back and we add a central defender (Benatia maybe?)

hahaha my god steve parish is essex as fuck

watched the Spurs game for some reason

they're really bad

yep

and its genuinely still mainly avbs fault imo

Welp West Brom was making it competitive for a little while...

Terry sent off!

game just got very interesting indeed

terry ageing with dignity

yeah really pulling for Brom here

fuuuuck. so close.

West Brom's usually nickname is the Baggies, and their fans are pretty adept at pulling themselves

boing

usually? anyway it wasn't a correction, just a chance to lol at WBA

o i know I just like to poke fun at their whole boing boing thing.

oh well. Chelsea fans still can't be too excited about this.

aw dammit. right call tho, way offside

i need city to win every game this season until chelsea are mathematically unable to catch them. preferably with sterling being merely okay.

Lukaku just fucking up right and left

has the first touch of an elephant

there's the dagger. yowch Man City is gonna be tough to score on this year

Lukaku is so inconsistent

pretty sick no look pass

http://streamable.com/ua7t

co-commentator otm

Benitez out

oh and Allegri too I guess

clattenburg is just a cunt these are shit calls

which ones? i just watched a bit and Terry was a red, albeit a shade soft

Terry's second yellow was definitely a little soft and benefited from the speed in real time, though I felt like it could have gone either way

ref can't call it, clattenburg is a bluffing guesser and loves attention. awful traits in a ref

first one looked cheap too

Why are you all still using last season's thread? Is it really options paralysis over choosing a hilarious enough title?

it's not our fault dad u abandoned us

do we even have any candidates? i suggest "Premier League season 2015/2016: thread"

Premier League 2015/2016 thread is gonna be tough to score on this year

some ref to Liverpool using collective pronoun in deference to our us cousins

"Liverpool fc: this year is its year" etc etc

arsenal have definitely become the "this year is our year" club.

liverpool are now "this year is our year" for finishing fourth.

we are the new Newcastle winning the title this year is our year club of finishing fourth I think

JERMAIN DEFOE & FAMILY/ DEFOE ENTERPRISE PERSONAL ASSISTANT

We are looking for a highly experienced Executive Personal Assistant who will be working closely with senior manager of Defoe Enterprise Ltd.

You will be working for a high profile individual within the sports industry so the candidate must therefore, by nature, be very flexible, hands-on and be capable of multitasking, most importantly you must maintain the highest level of confidentiality in order to assist the manager.

On a day to day basis you will be involved in scheduling and highly organizing the managers and the families private, social and business calendars, arranging all public appearances, arranging and securing travel arrangements, working on selected business projects and maintaining daily itineraries.

Must be able to supervise a multi-portfolio of houses managing all household staff and contractors, dealing with all incoming bills and more.

Candidates who will be considered for an interview will:

Have the highest level of office duties including managing emails and dealing with all incoming telephone enquires
Marketing knowledge and business development
Demonstrate a high level of social media experience
Have ability and experience in executive summaries of documents and debriefing to senior management
Meet deadlines and demands of the managers extensive and hectic work schedules
Demonstrating a high level of discretion and confidentiality
Have impeccable correspondence skills and be confident in communicating with high profile individuals and senior directors
Flexible to travel abroad and across country throughout the year at a short notice
Suit a small office environment
Media experience and commercial pr will be of advantage
RESPONSIBILITIES

Diary management for Sandra and Jermain
Data management and administration duties
Dealing with incoming email, faxes and post
Drafting emails on director/managers behalf
Answering Calls and handling enquiries
Create database of all business contacts
Produce daily/Weekly briefs via email
Writing minutes and taking dictations
Prepare Presentations
Arrange travelling and accommodation for Jermain
Working on certain projects and carrying out research
Liaison with sponsors i.e. adidas etc.
Briefing directors/managers before meetings and appearances
Travelling with Jermain/ Sandra on business meetings UK (international when required)
Occasional travel alone for business meetings setting up business opportunities for Jermain.
Organising manager on a daily basis: lunch etc.
Working alongside Chonte Marketing director on specific projects
ERRANDS

Organise all Jermain’s personal needs i.e. drycleaners, gardeners, house refurbishments, Sourcing interior designers and everyday tasks etc.
Regularly checking the home when Jermain is away, making sure all is in place for his return i.e. fridge is stocked and plants watered and house is clean.
Select and organise wardrobe with specific designers for special events/appearances i.e. Oswald boateng, Harrods, ZAP etc
PROPERTIES

Organising all the Defoe family’s households and needs
Organising Cleaners and food shopping when necessary
Overseeing Gardeners
Domestic Cleaners
Security
SOCIAL EVENTS

Book all social events i.e.
Theatre, Concerts, Cinema, Musicals
Restaurant bookings and recommendations
Spa Days
Family outings
FAMILY

Planning Yearly events including family birthdays and other celebrations
Organising yearly family holidays and individual holidays.
Managing and organising individual family members (Sandra, Andre, Chonte and Chase. Family pets)
Dealing with the domestic running of all Defoe family properties including international.
Creating an inventory for holiday Villas.
Help to plan and organising special yearly calendar events i.e. (Mother’s day, Fathers Day, Easter, Black history month, Bonfire Night, Christmas, New years etc.)

BRANDING

To create a global brand for the Jermain Defoe name
Growing his online database on his website, Twitter, Facebook and other social networking platforms.
Gaining further recognition within the media
Producing his own iphone apps
Identify source of sponsorship opportunities
POTENTIAL PROJECTS

Growing The Jermain Defoe foundation charity i.e. yearly fundraising and events
Create his own clothing line/Fragrance for e-commerce on his website
Starting up his own Sports Mentoring and Management company
Football Grass roots soccer academy
JOB ROLE

WORKING FROM THE JERMAIN DEFOE OFFICE MONDAY – FRIDAY 9.30am-5.30pm

There will be out of hours and weekend work depending on manager’s event diary or projects.

Must be on call 24/7

jol in

NBS started one, noone liked it.
No swears & don't 'sit' on the floor (The Premier League 2015/16)

Mertesacker AND Koscielny out for Arsenal...

i suppose gomez fluked that performance too

tbrr skrtel was enormous there, rarely seen him play so well. liverpool look seriously hard to score against

eleven men in a line across the box will do that tbf but yeah looked solid

deems my dear fella if spurs defended like that for one game you'd be a changed man

clyne and gomez both looked v good tonight. quite an encouraging start for liverpool this year. prob should have won that game.

absolute state of thierry henry on sky btw - he's got even worse. he makes alan shearer look like terry wogan..

clyne is nifty

idk what gomez's add-ons are but i reckon we stand to make several million one way or another from this continued level of performance. lol i guess that makes liverpool my 'premiership team' haha. pandemic all is forgiven

emre can is blossoming as well. really like that midfield with him and milner.

the only bum note was jordon ibe basically being completely and i mean completely useless, like almost frighteningly so

benteke prob should have scored. he does look generally good though.

prob but unreal save

Decent start to the season

OK use this thread, this is getting embarrassing.

No swears & don't 'sit' on the floor (The Premier League 2015/16)