Self-perception and how others see us

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It would be interesting if we could actually see ourselves as other people do. That could be very eye-opening.

We may think we know how others see us. But in reality we only have our own biased self-perception and generally have to guess how others see us simply by how they act toward us.

Do you believe that other people see us as we see ourselves? Or do we (poss deliberately) hold too much information back (for whatever reason) for people to make accurate assessments of us?

― C J (C J), Thursday, 10 October 2002 20:21 (twenty-three years ago)

i don't really know how people truly see me, i only have delusions based on how i see myself. for example, when i'm feeling great, i imagine everyone else sees me as the epitome of cool. but when i'm feeling lousey, i figure everyone else thinks i'm a dick too. i never lose sleep about it, cos as long as my friends love me (cue backstreet boys) i'm quite content. i don't really know how to hold information back but i don't think that my friends know everything about me. i don't even know everything about me, so how could they?

― di smith (lucylurex), Thursday, 10 October 2002 20:34 (twenty-three years ago)

when self-esteem's at it's lowest (thankfully not for a good few months now), i get this insatiable, painful desire to see myself through someone else's eyes.

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Thursday, 10 October 2002 20:38 (twenty-three years ago)

i think im stupid. well not stupid but not smart either.

― anthony easton (anthony), Friday, 11 October 2002 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

i *know* i'm stupid. which at least makes me more bearable than the thousands of morons that don't.

but yes, i'd love to know how others see me. hopefully in a better light than i see myself...

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 11 October 2002 13:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I often think about that, but in a more vain sort of way. As in, how do I appear physically to other people? I mean, yes, there are mirrors, but you can't really see yourself in 3-D. Whenever I've seen myself on videotape, I've freaked out. I'm always like, "THAT's what I look like??" Weird. Or in a 3-way mirror in a mall or something when you see yourself from the side...

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 11 October 2002 13:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us! "

Sorry if that's pretentious but my mum always said that if we said something mean about someone, it sprang to mind when I read this thread. I think you never know how other people see you and nobody will ever properly know you, there's always a little bit you hold back, just for yourself that even your closest friends/lovers/family never see. I believe it doesn't hurt to try and see yourself through others eyes occasionally though.

― Plinky (Plinky), Friday, 11 October 2002 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

it doesn't sound pretentious it sounds 'auld scots'.

― michael wells (michael w.), Friday, 11 October 2002 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, it is kinda twee quoting Rabbie Burns - or am I just being paranoid?

― Plinky (Plinky), Friday, 11 October 2002 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

i really don't give a shit!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Friday, 11 October 2002 16:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I am better off not knowing how others see me, I firmly suspect.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 11 October 2002 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

i *know* i'm stupid. which at least makes me more bearable than the thousands of morons that don't.

I like to think this about myself but fear that they're actually thinking, "Well, don't just be so damn irritatingly apologetic and self-effacing, if you KNOW you're that shit then why don't you either improve, become a complete recluse and stop bothering other people, or kill yourself?"

(Option 2 would be going quite well if I left ILX alone. Er, sorry.)

― Rebecca (reb), Friday, 11 October 2002 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

REbecca what's up with you? YOu're a genius if anyone is, it's obvious to me. You write in beautiful sentences and tell the truth. I hate to see you feeling so painful.

― romola wright, Saturday, 12 October 2002 04:46 (twenty-two years ago)

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