Tory konference -- WTF?

Although he can't quite bring himself to say so, IDS's address is actually a straightforward repudiation of the social consequences of Thatcherism.

The Tory's achilles heel, as Paddy Ashdown once pointed out, is its aged, reactionary membership. They still don't quite get it, applauding heartily at the wrong moments, prefering to get stuck into anti-Euro and Labour bashing themes, but this was an interesting conference. I wouldn't write them off yet.

Oliver Letwin gave a
speech that was far and away the most thoughtful of any Tory on crime I've ever heard. Less 'hang 'em, flogg 'em' and probably more liberal than anything David Blunkett would ever give. They are close to formulating a semi-coherent response to nu-lab (or lifting it from the Lib Dems) ie Blair/Brown's over-centralising tendency works agains improving public services even with lots amount of cash thrown in. They hope with time people will forget that the Tories themselves severely damaged the same services whilst in power, and severly eroded local government.

They're still a long way from power, thank god, and IDS's total lack of charisma will probably ensure his chances of ever becoming PM are remote in the extreme but then again isn't 'charisma' an overrated virtue?

last year: the Tories are defeated by Labour in my home constituency(Dorset South), which less than 20 years ago was won by a quintessential Tory peer (Viscount Cranborne) with a 15,000 majority.

this week: the Tories associate themselves strongly with the current campaign for widespread broadband internet access in rural areas (see yesterday's Guardian Online supplement). They make noises about broadband access for rural businesses, not a priority of theirs two years ago, and they do not officially endorse what is effectively a glorified hunting rally at the conference.

It's an obvious cycle. But I still don't think it will return them to power for a *long* time.

Bump for the imminent arrival of Nu-Tory Week in the UK. I have absolutely no idea how the Tories are going to play this one.

Labour have finally cottoned onto the fact that putting their heads down and going "we are concentrating on running the country" is potentially disastrous and they've finally gone on the attack. The 'novice' jab is the first point I can remember Brown scoring on Cameron in over a year and it's a very good one. It'll stick if Cameron and Osbourne come over as flaky and insubstantial at the conference, and given they've been used to an easy ride and zero scrutiny of their policies, I'm not sure they were planning to be particularly high on substance until a week or so ago.

Not to mention the fact that public faith in both the City and in free-market liberalism has completely evaporated and seven days isn't really long enough to completely rework the central tenet of their party. Cameron might get a proper grilling for the first time in months. Interesting times.

The alternative scenario is that Cameron plays an absolute blinder, of course. I'm not sure he can do that on the economy, because the more American banks crash and burn the less it looks like Brown's fault, regardless of the part his policies actually played.

As his Shadow Home Secretary has already taken the easy way out, expect a lot more of that kind of desperation.

Cameron is playing the zing card, if I hear "Brown has had his boom now he is bust" from one more of this b'stards I swear I'll have to have a lie down. They've obviously all been told to repeat this whenever possible. And Nick Robinson could not get further up Cameron's arse if he tried incidentally.

Their just-announced rail scheme is certainly interesting.

Tories are going to announce plans to bring back school voucher schemes this week, just in case you thought they were good people.

xp
Haven't they just nicked that from the LibDems? From like years ago?

Yes, they have.
Lib Dem plan for fast rail link.

No doubt the Tories will be much cheered by the Far Nutter Right now holding the balance of power in Austria.

The caring sharing Nazis

Ha, I saw this this morning. The headline was something like "Austrians shocked by rise of far right". That's what happens when you vote for them you stoopids.

When you put it that way, it's all so easy!

I don't know tho, whenever I've felt disillusioned with the stasis and sameyness of the mainstream political parites I've never had the urge to run out and vote for the Nazi Party

Austria has two far right parties? What do they not agree on?

Almost everything I think. Except that they both hate foreigners.

One of them is keen on organic farming.

And each other, apparently (xp)

oh well at least they're splitting the vote.

keep reading this as Tron konference

What, is Peter Powell due to speak?

For younger readers, Peter Powell once declared Tron "the greatest film ever made, apart from other ones."

But is he on your "And He's A Tory Too, By The Way" list?

No, he's never declared.

Unlike fucking Paul "Another Scouse Traitor" O'Grady.

Some amusement already to be had watching various Tories having to criticise the City bosses

They thrashed Portsmouth 6-0 last week, why are they criticising them?

"Tories say taxpayers shouldn't be picking up the B&B bill"

Quite right - let those so-called asylum seekers sweep the streets and pay for their own board and lodgings.

Our flat in Oxford was rented from Bradford & Bingley and they were total cunts to me after Laura died so ha ha and fuck them, frankly.

Karma to Savour.

i read this as "Tony Kornheiser - WTF?"

still applicable

We are not yet addressing the issues that matter.

classic minorities in the middle action

There must be a bigger jpg of that Tatler spread somewhere.

Oh my god this is so bad for our country as he can not think for himself what is going on will he ever win I don't think so and who should we vote for well again there is no one with common sense or help for this poor country we are not rich as we have sold off assets that belonged to the people not governments like what Mrs Thatcher started and the labour party are still doing as we are now paying more than any European country on gas electric and water. I think everyone should spoil their electoral voting card to give the country a no vote on our politics as no political party are good. We have to change the way our politics is done as all of the political parties have misused money plus every one of them are in debt and should not be allowed to exist as the labour party is in debt over four hundred million and the conservative party debts three hundred and fifty million pounds in debt so how can they exist unless fraud is being committed. We have to be British again England Wales Scotland and Northern Ireland has to end devolution has to stop we need one parliament and people allowed to vote for a person not a whole load of idiots in a political party that cannot do the jobs they are trying for. We took note and big mistakes of trying to run our own businesses under the conservatives and now labour parties as in small companies are better than large ones. Now look at what is happening no one looked into the future when destroying the Unions the health and safety the rights of all workers and even worse the Hospitals children and older people. We all looked for now and fun well it is ending and the rich can run abroad away from their debts then we have to pay. We must get rid of all political parties and start over but must keep the King or queen in some way as the person to stop a misuse of power by any future prim minister. For more read my sun blog.

The pacing of that is perfect.

That's a pretty awesome punchline.

That Trevor Kavanagh really's gone to pot recently.

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Oh and David Bailey can go fuck himself and all.

Coming up: TV's Bradley Walsh given baked bean bath by Tory babes.

You don't think DBail was being "oooh-oo, Tory blokes! come out and get your PICTURE TAKENNNN!!! In nice clothesey wothsey! That'll impress the working CLASSES for youuuuuu..."

Nope. He took the thirty pieces of silver and must pay the price of hang.

Fair enough.

I knew someone who once worked for him, assistant focus puller or somesuch. Apparently, temper wise, make GRamsay seem like placid pete.

Verified. But if you're Amazing and Legendary the masochists of the fashion world tolerate all.

I've heard similar things about Cameron, when he's not in the vicinity of a camera.

Think Blair is unique among high-ranking modern politicians not to have had a raging temper.

Meanwhile over in Newport:

http://bp2.blogger.com/_h7CJteTPowo/RzXOLWwyXcI/AAAAAAAACq4/vNG1p3QiCIc/s1600-h/1937315518_095022b1ed_m.jpg

Ch4 news interviewed 5 or 6 floating voters in Reading after the conference and they all said they'd vote Tory after seeing Cameron's speech. Mind you they all seemed fairly anti-Labour anyway.

The Times and the Sun are probably the most accurate barometer of how this speech has really gone down. God, I don't believe I just said that. Still, I think the Pinefox is right and we are being too optimistic. What's that old trope about "oppositions don't win elections, governments lose them"? The last couple of weeks has obscured the fact that a lot of the country now really fucking hate Brown and Labour and it will take more than the impending collapse of the entire global financial system to change that.

Think the day of reckoning thing is a combination of "we don't want anyone thinking these bankers are our best mates even though they are", "we secretly would prefer to just let the banks go bust" with maybe a smattering of "this will play well with Xtians".

It felt to me like it had a lot more in it than Brown's.

What did it have in it? I haven't seen what the Times and Sun have said about it, but it didn't seem like too many people outwith the Tory Party conference were that impressed by it.

Like I said, as the leader of the biggest Anyone But Gordon Brown Party, Cameron could have advocated invading France tomorrow and the public would still consider him the Prime Minister in waiting.

Cameron's party political broadcast last night was also heavy on "this is what we're not" and light on the rather more crucial issue of "this is what we are."

how does it compare with an equivalent Blair speech from 12 years ago?

when Camron was talking about the Health & Safety Epidemic or whatever he said "students can't even take part in a student exchange program without their families being subject to a criminal record inspection" or similar - wait, whaaaa? what a weird thing to pick out as evidence of bureaucracy gone mad (it's weird either way tho)

Then again Gordon turned up at ITV's heartwarming Pride Of Britain ceremony last night and Cameron did not HAS DODGY DAVE SHOT HIMSELF IN CHARITY FOOT?

Like I said, as the leader of the biggest Anyone But Gordon Brown Party, Cameron could have advocated invading France tomorrow and the public would still consider him the Prime Minister in waiting.

Absolutely. The actual speech was shoddy stuff - and that's by his own standards.

Our children can't even go and stay with a complete stranger in another country without Brown's state leviathan checking up on whether they're a paedophile or a murderer.

quite.

Yes, that was another odd one, it was full of thrown-together-at-the-last-minute nonsense like that

I disliked a lot of Cameron's attacks on health & safety - I think health and safety are great things. I enjoyed his comment on spelling etc, though, culminating in '... You're fired'. That was his best moment.

That was a not a bad gag

No nanny state treating its citizens like children under the Tories, no sir.

The constant harping on about "marriage" as if it is a good thing in and of itself is frankly worrying.

Thatcher's "return to Victorian values" stuff all over again, innit.

Especially if you're married to Michael Gove (xp).

He's an odd fellow, that Michael Gove

He's basically Rick Moranis with a Telegraph column, isn't he?

Anyone remember that terrible C4 show he did with David Baddiel and Tracey Macleod back in the early nineties?

Is he Scottish?

Anyone remember that terrible C4 show he did with David Baddiel and Tracey Macleod back in the early nineties?

― It's 10.00 and I'm Huw Edwards. I don't write this stuff. (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 2 October 2008 11:59 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"A Stab In The Dark", the first TV writing Lee and Herring ever did.

It was all downhill from there.

The Sun has Dave as Bob The Builder - can he fix it? etc but seems more concerned with Gary Glitter.

What everyone says is right, he could have just about read out a list of Dave's Top Things He Hates About NuLabour and it would have been well received, but it really wasn't a great speech, as Tom says 'unfocused' seems pretty accurate. But then that wasn't what it was about, hit those targets (Europe, the police, Our Boys, scroungers, difficult times), make a joke, kiss the wife, get off the stage, job done.

Ch4 news interviewed 5 or 6 floating voters in Reading after the conference and they all said they'd vote Tory after seeing Cameron's speech. Mind you they all seemed fairly anti-Labour anyway.

― I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO (Colonel Poo), Thursday, 2 October 2008 10:16 (1 hour ago) Bookmark

Are you sure this wasn't just The Cooper Temple Clause?

The Sun really hasn't worked out which horse it wants to back yet, has it? Possibly this is due to Rebekah Wade being mates with Brown but still.

Rupert Murdoch: "Rebekah who?"

Don't think Murdoch knows which horse to back either.

That must tell you something about Cameron and the Tories

Murdoch is pretty much senile at this point so not really

terrible photo of Geldof talking to Thatcher in yesterday's london paper

The Sun's editorial was pretty unequivical.
This speech could have been lifted straight from a Sun editorial — from backing Our Boys on the front-line to mending Britain’s broken society.

But still they want more...
And he’s right. The Tory Party has come a long way under his leadership. There is much still to be done.

But with this nail-hammering performance, he showed he is more than qualified to give it a try.

But with this nail-hammering performance

Uh, wha'?

Ned please tell me they really did capitalise Our Boys

Of course they did.

Anyway back to the serious issues. Is it wrong that I have kept thinking "would smash Samantha Cameron" over the course of this week?

But with this nail-hammering performance

Uh, wha'?

― Tom D says "...get them fuckin' up here, ya fuckin' walloper!" (Tom D.), Thursday, 2 October 2008 12:03 (14 minutes ago) Bookmark

Whilst delivering his speech, Cameron knocked together a set of shelves.

You're just mirroring David Cameron now.

xpost TIMING!

xp
Oh, they did.
I think the nail-hammering is a reference to this...
http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00603/01-BOB-280_603808a.jpg

Hammering nails into the coffins of Gordon Brown, New Labour and Health & Safety officials everywhere

Whilst delivering his speech, Cameron knocked together a set of shelves.

That's the kind of private sector efficiency so lacking in Brown's Britain.

That's actually the only bit of Harry And Paul I find funny, the builders routine.

(i.e. the ones building a mansion/prison/hospital in 20 seconds and not taking any payment)

Maybe I missed the full context of Cameron's spelling society hilarity, but the way I heard it last night it was some irrelevant ignorant playing-to-the-Hyacinth-Bucket-fanclub misquoted booshit. Or was there a funny bit I missed?

At one point he was telling people in the balcony not to jump off at the thought of Gordon Brown being Prime Minister forever.

(i.e. the ones building a mansion/prison/hospital in 20 seconds and not taking any payment)

Certainly not the OTHER builders sketch. Two in one show, that's VFM!

x-post lol suicide

Where was So Called So Brave David Cameron in Derby city centre on Saturday then?

Kicking some bloke to death in Norwich?

In bed with Samantha, who he also wakes up with in the morning <------ this was another of his funnies

Of course the Tory way would be to kick you to death whilst explaining how your skull just wasn't competitive enough and you needed to lose the excess fat round your ribcage.