Yankee Tickets: August 18th!!

What is a bleacher. Not someone who works with peroxide is it?

Normally I'd be the first to sign up but I'm going to be in Amherst this coming weekend - sorry mate.

Yes, but what is a bleacher?

The bleachers are the stands at the edge of the outfield with a bad view. It's where the drinking is probably more important than the game itself. And at Yankee stadium I reckon you get to see / be involved in at least a few fights... I once saw someone pushed down one of the really steep stands during a fight at Yankee stadium. He rolled down 20 or more rows of seats before somoeone caught him. I bet he had a saw back in the morning.

I'm off to South Carolina this weekend, sorry. The Brooklyn Cyclones games are fun, I'm sure you can get tickets at the gate and avoid Ticket*****r next time.

Actually, you can still see from the bleachers. Not as well as you can see from my normal seats behind first base, lower level (CORPORATE TICKETS YEAH BOY), but you actually can see decently.

I just don't know if it's worth going up to that part of the Bronx to go sit there, that's all ;)

Christ, Ally, brag about your silly corporate perks AGAIN, why don'tcha. :)

Supposedly, the bleacher seats are quite good for watching the game. Which is sorta what I hope to be doing, in between dodging beer bottles and racial epithets and the like.

And as *ahem* GREAT as minor-league baseball is, Leslie, it certainly doesn't match witness the overpaid grandeur of turds like Luis Sojo and half of the Yankees roster grounding into double plays. Plus, I just so happen to live next to a minor league park of my own - home of the New Britain Rock Cats (AA affiliate of the Minnesota Twins). I'd go there more, but the one time I did go, I was scared off by their "let's ENTERTAIN the fans" attitude. Stupid inter-inning promotions...

Ally - c'mon down to the Bronx. Derek'll be there. I've tickets for Ramon and Otis. And make Otis wear lots of Red Sox paraphenalia - that'll be entertainment enough for three weekends, let alone one measly 3-hour block.

And can I be serious for a second? The only outstanding offer I have for at least two of these tickets come from my ex-girlfriend, whom I'd rather not see for quite a while, if humanly possible. If someone can just feign interest, and say "yes" (thereby cancelling the ex-GF mojo), I'll be indebted to you forever and a day or so. If you can actually GO, bonus.

And what the hell are those seats in soccer stadiums called? Stands? I didn't think "bleachers" was a cultural thing...

And how about that fucking Derek Lowe, huh?

"bleachers" = out inna sun, instead of under the grandstand, so you get "bleached". the right-field bleachers in the Bronx are the notorious home of the "bleacher creatures" who will squirt mustard on you for wearing incorrect gear.

(p.s. Urbina is CLEARLY the closer the Bosox need, but apparently we must wait until Jimy's frickin tarot cards line up correctly)

Thank you, Tracer. That's EXACTLY why I want someone in my entourage wearing something like, say, a Mo Vaughn BoSox jersey. Verboten in Yankee Stadium, AND about 5 years past its prime. Classic.

Don't get me started on Jimy, Tracer. The man's a baseball idiot savant. Though I'd be fine with Duquette chucking his ass, as long as Joe Kerrigan sticks around as pitching coach. And I'd be fine with Duquette if he could get over this stupid "veteran = GOOD" thing he's obsessed with. Does a team REALLY need Craig "Frozen Caveman" Grebeck? I mean, c'mon.

Dude, Otis already had a drink thrown in his face last time he came down here, last weekend. He don't need to have mustard squirted on him too, as amusing as it would be to watch those two fight with Yankees creatures. And while they're busy, I can cop off with Derek.

Ally, you're stating my case better that I ever could. Fun for the whole fuckin' family.

Ally is going to make out w/Derek Lowe?? Lord knows the man needs some good news.

Dave I wd LOVE to go (Ichiro!) but I am moving house that day. Anyone who passes up the chance to sit less than 100 feet from the Japanese Brad Pitt is a natchrl born fule.

The last time I went to a Yankees game, I was robbed.

That's not as good as getting mustarded, sorry.

Last call...last call for tickets...

If Ichiro even comes close to making a play like the one he nearly made on Offerman last night (snagging a sure homerun, only to drop the ball into the right-field bullpen @ Fenway after colliding with the wall), it'll be worth the mustard and drink-spills.

And if Paul O'Neill grounds into a double-play or two, that's a bonus.

Dude, we're all gonna be in Mass.

Dude, I know. I'm just seeing if there are other dudes around. Dude?

No. You misunderstand. We're all going to be in Mass. It's a huge exodus.

En masse.

That was a terrible pun, I avoided it for a reason.

Massachusetts = the new New York.

Stands are not seats. They are terracing in which you - as the name suggests - stand. A name which is a darn sight more intuative than Bleacher. (I mean, do they squirt you with Domestos or something?)

But you don't stand in the bleachers! You sit!

Wow - you guys got to see a very exciting game. How was it?

Pretty damn good, actually. Had to sit through the Dave Winfield Gift Extravaganza, with fucking John Sterling turning from bathetic MC to whoring shill. (Winfield got a car, Sony laptop, a pen, some golf clubs, and some other stuff. His wife rec'd 31 long-stemmed roses, hand-delivered by Derek Jeter.)

The game itself was great, except for my idiot Yankee-fan friend whining in the 9th inning about the many mound conferences the Mariners were having. "They're upsetting the hitter's rhythm." Duh. "They have no class." Shut up.

Ichiro update - two routine grounders almost became infield hits, and yet another laser-beam throw from right field on one hop to the catcher, holding a runner @ third. Jeter update - hit a homer to DEAD CENTER in the 1st inning, leading off the game. Impressive stuff. And he's still dead sexy (though not as sexy as Ichiro - 10 Asian women showed up in colored wigs in support; THAT'S pull for ya). They all looked so small from the left-field bleachers, tho.

By the way, I dumped the 3 extra tickets for $10 to a probable scalper that might've made a pretty penny off them (even if they were only bleacher seats). It was nice to see the Yanks lose (despite the M's attempts to give them the game).

Jeter's way sexier.

Ah, but Jeter's sex appeal is straight-forward. Ichiro has the mystery man sex appeal - much more coveted.

Plus, I'd think any association with Mariah Carey would send Jeter's sex appeal straight into the crapper. Unless you're willing to forgive such slights (which I bet you are).

Quite frankly, I don't trust the taste of anyone who finds Mira Sorvino "easy on the eyes" and "smart". Jeter = way better, and dumping Mariah's ass definitely helped him regain his cred.

Choobs!

By the way, I said Mira was "not stupid". A slight difference. I find it hard to call someone "smart" after they willfully involve themselves with a movie as pheff as _At First Sight_. (Actually, she's been involved w/ a lot of crappy movies, hasn't she? Damn her.)

And I feel for Derek, because I don't think Mariah's the type of gal that dumps easily. She seems clingy. Plus, whenever he goes out to dinner w/ Nomah & A-Rod, he has to pick up the tab. It's a hard knock life for pretty-boy multi-millionaires, let me tell ya.

Derek Jeter looks silly and vain !

Ooh, bitterness, always an attractive trait.

Really. Piss on the man for his crap defensive play, but everything else is untouchable.

Though he's no Ichiro.

The comment wasn't directed at our Anthony.

Whose Anthony was it directed at? Okay, there's my unforgivably crap joke for the day.

Oh, the "pretty-boy millionaire" thing. Riiiiight.

Yes, I am horribly bitter, because my little league coaches exploited my natural gifts without thought of my well being, and now I'm a bitter shell of a man with a crap fastball and a flat curve. And don't even ask about my hitting.

And somewhere, Bruce Springsteen sings "Glory Days".