(*this may be a lie)

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I taught Dick Dale everything he knows.

― Miss Laura, Monday, 14 October 2002 06:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I also own a saloon.

― Miss Laura, Monday, 14 October 2002 06:49 (twenty-two years ago)

this is non, non-non, non-heinous.

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Monday, 14 October 2002 06:50 (twenty-two years ago)

i love you all.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 14 October 2002 06:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I invented pants!

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 14 October 2002 08:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I was the first milky bar kid.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Monday, 14 October 2002 09:21 (twenty-two years ago)

my brain has been replaced with electronic circuitry.

― angela (angela), Monday, 14 October 2002 09:24 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm right clever, me

― g-kit (g-kit), Monday, 14 October 2002 10:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm Nick Dastoor. See my beard.

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 14 October 2002 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

The Shreddie was designed by Charles Rennie Mackintosh.

― Alfie (Alfie), Monday, 14 October 2002 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

simon hearts el-p

― zebedee, Monday, 14 October 2002 16:43 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm not really the king of the world

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 14 October 2002 17:01 (twenty-two years ago)

"no, i didn't notice"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 14 October 2002 17:01 (twenty-two years ago)

don't worry.

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Monday, 14 October 2002 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Pete must stay away from this thread, as he is a rubbish liar.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 14 October 2002 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I secretly married Robbie Williams this morning

― C J (C J), Monday, 14 October 2002 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I have the world's largest collection of novelty pencil sharpeners

― C J (C J), Monday, 14 October 2002 18:54 (twenty-two years ago)

i wholeheartedly back the career of kelly clarkson.

― amy (amy), Monday, 14 October 2002 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

i think "the darkness" are fab.

― doom-e, Monday, 14 October 2002 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I wrote 'Barbie Girl'. On a bet.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 14 October 2002 22:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I think Bangbus is real.

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 14 October 2002 22:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Bright Eyes makes the most insightful records ever!

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 14 October 2002 23:13 (twenty-two years ago)

People have mistaken me for Kate Moss.

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 00:06 (twenty-two years ago)

people have mistaken me for dom deluise.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 00:07 (twenty-two years ago)

My pen name is "Christopher Brookmyre".

― Poppy (poppy), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 01:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm REALLY looking forward to tomorrow morning! I LOVE my alarm clock soooo much!

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 03:32 (twenty-two years ago)

i slept with pam grier, and it was fuckin' ineffable.

funny what jess said...i have a professor who could pass for dom. or a more portly umberto eco.

― mike (ro)bott, Tuesday, 15 October 2002 03:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Barry Bonds - nice guy!

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 04:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Tony LaRussa is a brilliant manager. Simply impeccible. I bask in the intellectual glory emitted by his ever-growing forehead.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 04:27 (twenty-two years ago)

One thing's for sure - he doesn't overmanage!

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 04:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I invented emo.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 07:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I have an perfect 1:8 scale replica of the "cheers" bar, given to me by tony danza's sister-in-law.

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

It's this thing.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

b-b-but Colin, that's the truth!!

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

man actually landed on the moon...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

i have an airplane in a bottle.

― mike (ro)bott, Wednesday, 16 October 2002 03:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Andrew is a Mason and wh3rd.net is his Masonic tool

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 06:08 (twenty-two years ago)

The truth is I had help.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 08:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I am shocked and appalled that, in the middle of this large economic crisis, the teachers at my school are selfish enough to go on strike just because they want better salaries.

― Daniel_Rf, Wednesday, 16 October 2002 12:48 (twenty-two years ago)

i came on as a sub for paul walsh in 1985. my dad knew the liverpool chairman. nobody saw it because it was away to rotor volgograd and they didn't have satellite in those days. i hit the post in injury time.

― michael wells (michael w.), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

this thread is sooo funny

― charleston charge (chaki), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 08:54 (twenty years ago)

mmm dick

― Mr. Harvey Weinstein (mr harvey weinstein), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 09:17 (twenty years ago)

A giraffe's neck weighs as much as a hippo.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 10:38 (twenty years ago)

The bit in Get Ur Freak On where Missy Elliott seems to shout "Holler!" is actually Mel B from the Spice Girls shouting "Hello!".

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 11:14 (twenty years ago)

Every year, in your sleep, you swallow sixteen horses.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 11:30 (twenty years ago)

A striking Black Mamba exerts the same force as a claw swipe from a Grizzly Bear.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 11:35 (twenty years ago)

Every year, at around this time, I throw a lavish dinner party in a five-star restaurant. My friends and I always stiff on the bill, which is normally in the thousands of dollars. I am running out of places in which to do this, having been banned from most of the better establishments in the city.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 16:53 (twenty years ago)

I can stop posting to ILX whenever I want to.

― Ken L (Ken L), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 16:59 (twenty years ago)

you look great today!

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 17:00 (twenty years ago)

Sting was my milkman.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 21:40 (twenty years ago)

The University of Arizona at Phoenix conducted studies in 2004 to determine which well-known faces are most frightening to children. Surprisingly, Michael Jackson was found very pleasing to children, nearly as much as an image of Ronald McDonald. The most frightening photo was an unshaven Axl Rose.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 21:45 (twenty years ago)

I invented internet pr0n, but I've been too bashful to take credit for it. Until now.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 21:49 (twenty years ago)

i'll do it tomorrow

― Sven Bastard (blueski), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 21:59 (twenty years ago)

You guys, check it out. OMG. I was searching for stuff for this thread, and I found the BEST WEB PAGE EVER. The stuff on here is TOTALLY AMAZING.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 22:02 (twenty years ago)

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