The worst of all counties

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What is the worst county in England? I am thinking Lincolnshire.

Maybe Hertfordshire or Bedfordshire.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 14 October 2002 08:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Rutland

― RickyT (RickyT), Monday, 14 October 2002 08:29 (twenty-three years ago)

No! It's called Rutland!

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 14 October 2002 08:29 (twenty-three years ago)

But it's a VERY BAD PLACE indeed (I have no evidence for this, I just know it in my soul).

― RickyT (RickyT), Monday, 14 October 2002 08:30 (twenty-three years ago)

I think Rutland is mainly underneath a big reservoir nowadays. But I'm not sure. Famous for midges.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller), Monday, 14 October 2002 08:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Surrey. Though (and I suspect Graham might agree here) East Sussex has some pretty unappealing qualities. However it has the South Downs which makes up for everything.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 14 October 2002 08:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Lincolnshire is very very flat, but as my Grandad was from there it is by no means the worst county as he was a lovely lovely man.

My vote is for Bedfordshire, as far as I can tell it has no redeeming features. Mmmm, yes, Surrey too, but that has some lovely countryside, unless the Devil's punchbowl is in a different county.

― chris (chris), Monday, 14 October 2002 08:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Yorkshire or Essex. Both vie for being the Texas of England (Y for its bloodyminded superiority complex; Essex for being Thatcherite heartland - and still returning Tory MPs).

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Monday, 14 October 2002 08:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Lincolnshire: has Lincoln cathedral, inspiring(!) piece of architecture

Bedfordshire has a lot of pretty villages, Bedford itself is very nice by the river. My personal experience is that it isn't Nottingham that has the highest % of attractive girls, but Bedford.

Rutland Water is very attractive too & Hambleton Hall is a great restaurant. RickyT why pick on the poor little smallest county? It's probably full of badgers.

I have no reason to defend Hertfordshire.

― Mooro (Mooro), Monday, 14 October 2002 08:59 (twenty-three years ago)

One cathedral and Chris's granddad is not doing it for me.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 14 October 2002 09:01 (twenty-three years ago)

That was in a different county, and besides, the wench is dead. Well, no, but the Devil's Punchbowl is *nearly* in Hampshire, so can't redeem Surrey altogther.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 14 October 2002 09:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Will I tip the balance on Lincolnshire if I argue that my boyfriend was born in Lincoln, and he is a shining example of humanity?

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 14 October 2002 09:05 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.farmhousebedandbreakfast.co.uk/images/teesside.gif

Teeside seems especially grim. I once spent a weekend in Billingham where the stench from a huge local petro-chemical plant seemed a permament fixture and gangs of glue-sniffing neandertals, into bad hair metal, roamed the streets. Someone throw a half-brick one night through the church building where we were sleeping narrowly missing a friend.

Andrew Mueller once described Middlesborough as the most violent place he'd ever visited, and my cousin was regularly hospitalised when working there as a policeman.

Hartlepool elected Peter Mandelson as MP and then Hangus the Monkey as mayor.

― stevo (stevo), Monday, 14 October 2002 09:11 (twenty-three years ago)

jeez, how could I forget Teesside??!?!?!?

yes, by far the worst and even Carsmile and Foxy can't save it.

― chris (chris), Monday, 14 October 2002 09:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I stand corrected. Cleveland is much, much worse than Rutland. In fact it's so bad that I'd blotted it from my mind until now, hence the Rutland confusion above.

― RickyT (RickyT), Monday, 14 October 2002 09:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Surrey Pride! It's nice in an old-maids-cycling-through-the-mist-way. Quiet, green, and pretty, and usefully near London - which is of course also why it has a higher-than-usual proportion of Tory cockfarmers.

I have never found much to enjoy in Kent.

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 14 October 2002 09:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Surrey = an apology of a county

― chris (chris), Monday, 14 October 2002 09:24 (twenty-three years ago)

everywhere has it's nice places.

robin to thread.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 14 October 2002 09:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Jel, it's not as simple as that.

Kent is a beautiful county.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 14 October 2002 09:38 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought the Surrey Hills looked very nice, a bit like where the Tellytubbies live, at least in terms of placid rabbit population.

A shining example of humanity from Lincolnshire is sitting across the room from me. That's 'shining' as in the Jack Nicholson film.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller), Monday, 14 October 2002 09:40 (twenty-three years ago)

No, Jel, everywhere has _its_ nice places. Sorry, am grammar fascist. Ahem. Anyway, having spent my teenage years in Kent (Medway towns), I have mental scarring as evidence that it is indeed the worst county. Bah. Girls with pineapple hairdos and gold clown jewellery. somebody SAVE me.

Although: it's quite good when playing the 'Which Placenames Sound Rudest If You Pronounce Them Funny' game i.e. "You facking Kent".

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Monday, 14 October 2002 09:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Kent North of the Medway = cesspit.
Kent South of the Medway = lovely, mostly.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 14 October 2002 09:46 (twenty-three years ago)

B-b-but no-one *in* Yorkshire 'lives' the superiority complex. It's an evil media facade created by a small handful of professional Yorkshiremen who all live in the south-east now anyway. On their return to God's Own County they are sequestered in underground bunkers got up like Betty's cafe and only let out on carefully supervised day trips to Heartbeat Country, Emmerdaleland, and Harrogate.

― Ellie (Ellie), Monday, 14 October 2002 10:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Cor Ellie, I think there are plenty of Yorkshire types who buy thoroughly into the whole Gods Own County thing. They're as bad as Mancs for unjustifiable local pride.

― Tim (Tim), Monday, 14 October 2002 10:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Tim = OTM, I think a lot of them are ones who've re-located though.

― chris (chris), Monday, 14 October 2002 10:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Well it is a v.beautiful and has at least three good cities. I don't think Yorkshire should feature in this thread. Anyway, it's not even a proper county.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 14 October 2002 10:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Tim: fair cop. Not all of us though (natch) and I wonder like Chris if the leavers are the worst breast beaters. Also, I live with a Mancunian and by comparison I am a positively Humble yorkshireperson.

N.: four for the price of one (so much for my humility).

― Ellie (Ellie), Monday, 14 October 2002 10:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh I'm quite fond of Yorkshire too and don't think it's the worst by a long way (I suspect I've been too vocal about my pick here already and don't want to get into a FITE with Matt DC).

― Tim (Tim), Monday, 14 October 2002 10:28 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm a first-generation Yorkshireman, (Geordie Dad, Cornish Mum), from a part of Huddersfield where most of the locals were of Polish/Italian/Irish/ Ukrainian/West Indian and especially Pakistani descent rather than dyed in the wool Tykes. (Kodanshi, once of this parish, is from the same district). I never felt entirely comfortable in less urban/cosmopolitan areas where the locals were predominantly white and ultra-proud of being from the county. The reputation of the county cricket club for racism seemed a bit symptomatic. Bernard Ingham and Geoffrey Boycott never meant jackshit to me.
Very beautiful part of England though the Dales, the Moors etc.

― stevo (stevo), Monday, 14 October 2002 10:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Yorkshire has some very fine ruins: Rievaulx Abbey, Fountains Abbey, me mam. Etc. Those Cistercian monks went crazy for the dramatic isolation of the moors, don't you know. So it's def. not the worst of counties. Even if you despise the Brontes and everyone they went to school with.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Monday, 14 October 2002 10:36 (twenty-three years ago)

What is there in Lincolnshire except for Lincoln and Skegness?

The seventh hit on Google is about polio for heaven's sake.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 14 October 2002 10:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Kent, w/East Sussex narrowly behind.

― Graham (graham), Monday, 14 October 2002 10:41 (twenty-three years ago)

N., Louth is a really nice town, and I have a feeling Stamford is in Lincs also (though I stand correction on that), and it's pleasant enough in its time-passed us-by-when-we-didn't-get-the-railway sort of way.

― Tim (Tim), Monday, 14 October 2002 10:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Essex = the NEW JERSEY of England, therefore destroy.

Hey, I'll stick up for Hertfordshire any day. I Heart Herts. So fuck off.

― kate, Monday, 14 October 2002 11:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Essex = the NEW JERSEY of England, therefore destroy.

Massive over-generalisation. Rural (esp. coastal) Essex is lovely as I've said many times before.

― David (David), Monday, 14 October 2002 11:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Staffordshire: its main touristic attraction being Robbie W birthplace and naff teacups

― arantxa, Monday, 14 October 2002 11:18 (twenty-three years ago)

essex is shit. fact. i live there.

i recently saw an argument between two americans in a chat room about whether new jersey or detroit was the armpit of the US. it went on for like five minutes before i pointed out that the US probably has two armpits like everyone else.

― g-kit (g-kit), Monday, 14 October 2002 11:19 (twenty-three years ago)

essex is shit. fact. i live there.

whereabouts?

― David (David), Monday, 14 October 2002 11:21 (twenty-three years ago)

The thing about Essex, Kent and East Sussex is that even if you are immune to their beauty (and I don't see how people could be) at least you've got London on your doorstep, and that's an advantage that some other counties lack..

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 14 October 2002 11:23 (twenty-three years ago)

in southend, the yummy part.

― g-kit (g-kit), Monday, 14 October 2002 11:24 (twenty-three years ago)

(heh i cannot believe that RickyT has not gone off in a huff about the Yorkshire discussion above, why only yesterday he was telling me that EVEN THE WATER in Yorkshire is better!)(but he still drank the tea i made him)

― katie (katie), Monday, 14 October 2002 11:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Do you drink Yorkshire Tea now?

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 14 October 2002 11:35 (twenty-three years ago)

UGH do i 'eck!

― katie (katie), Monday, 14 October 2002 11:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry, that's from an old ad.

Yorkshire is the only county arrogant enough to demand its own tea. But I still like it.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 14 October 2002 11:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Yorkshire is the only county arrogant enough to demand its own tea

Nick = my nu-god!

― katie (katie), Monday, 14 October 2002 11:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Can I smite you?

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 14 October 2002 11:43 (twenty-three years ago)

The water in the Vale of York *is* better for making tea than London water!

― RickyT (RickyT), Monday, 14 October 2002 11:45 (twenty-three years ago)

no Nick you may not smite me! smite RickyT and his London water h4t1ng wayZ!

― katie (katie), Monday, 14 October 2002 11:50 (twenty-three years ago)

No, he is right - London water is rub for tea.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 14 October 2002 11:51 (twenty-three years ago)

[tho I refuse to drink from a Vale - it sounds creepy]

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 14 October 2002 11:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Skipping 50 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

I have never had my arse pinched so much, nor been so generally leered over, as at a club in Stevenage. Not impressed.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 28 July 2003 09:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Stevenage and Archel: An unrequited love affair.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 28 July 2003 09:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Stevenage did not love me. If it had done, it would have let me go. Far far away.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 28 July 2003 09:50 (twenty-two years ago)

So you're with Sting?

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 28 July 2003 09:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Chris you would have driven past the two places that shaped me in my youth.

St Neots and Huntingdon (as well as the smaller vilages of Brampton and the Offords).

― james (james), Monday, 28 July 2003 09:54 (twenty-two years ago)

And close to STILTON (where the cheese is not actually made but blah blah)

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 28 July 2003 09:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Huntingdon looked pleasant I must say, nice bridge. I think we went onto the A14 before St Neots though (I could be wrong in this, my eyes were getting a bit droopy at that point)

You may know, what are the Stukeleys and the Alconburys?

― chris (chris), Monday, 28 July 2003 09:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Stevenage is fucking awful. Even though my Nan lives there (I've never had my arse pinched so much as when going to visit her at the old folks home).

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 28 July 2003 10:05 (twenty-two years ago)

both are large housing developments for lowert middle class people, note when you are dewling with lower middle class people you do not say estates but developments)
They are basically expansions of smaller villages (Gt Stukely - where John Major lived and Alconbury where my mate Bev lived) but are quite o way from the villages because the village rersidents don't like it to much.

ah so you hit the A14 then - local danger road and one of the most boring to boot, but you will have gone by the Crematorium that welcomed both my grandad and Myra Hindley.

― james (james), Monday, 28 July 2003 10:31 (twenty-two years ago)

seen in watford today: "The Grove: London's Country House"

WTF???????/ since how does a BarrattHome in Watford conjure up images of a place for Londoners to get away from, in the counrty, large estates etc? how sodding deluded would you have to be to buy in to that shit?

― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 28 July 2003 10:54 (twenty-two years ago)

One question - what the fuck is Cumbria?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Monday, 28 July 2003 10:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Beautiful, mostly.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 28 July 2003 11:06 (twenty-two years ago)

ambrose enough with the country house rockism.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 28 July 2003 11:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Cumbria has all those lake things. And fells.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 28 July 2003 11:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I swear I tried to turn that off...

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 28 July 2003 11:15 (twenty-two years ago)

does someone have to type ?

― Mooro (Mooro), Monday, 28 July 2003 11:19 (twenty-two years ago)

for it to work?

― Mooro (Mooro), Monday, 28 July 2003 11:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh well done sir.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 28 July 2003 11:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I blame Cumbria.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Monday, 28 July 2003 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

all you Hertfordshire hataz obviously havent been to St Albans or Radlett

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 28 July 2003 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't mind the bits of Hertfordshire with no people in.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 28 July 2003 11:33 (twenty-two years ago)

some of us tho stevem have been to london colney and royston

― james (james), Monday, 28 July 2003 11:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahaha! I'm from Letchworth, about two train stops away from Stevenage. Everyone round here hates Steveange but I didn't realise it was so world famously bad!

I went to get the train to Hitchin the other day and an American couple informed me that the trains were delayed because someone had killed themselves on the tracks a couple of stops away. I shruggedand replied "yeah, that happens quite a lot".

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 28 July 2003 12:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I have been to St Albans. it was pleasant. It still doesn't make up for Stevenage.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 28 July 2003 12:14 (twenty-two years ago)

i have been delayed as a result of the hitchin jumpers - they are a very regular occasion

― james (james), Monday, 28 July 2003 12:16 (twenty-two years ago)

try dunstable, leighton buzzard and bletchley for more home counties harshness. and dont forget the inimitable HEMEL HEMPSTEAD! king of toss, and my workplace for tommorrow night!

evidence of lameness: saw the cream of hemels music scene last night: this consists of travis clones confusing themselves with led zep, and celine style power balladry done in a a school hall.

(also my cousin who fucking roXor...)

― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 28 July 2003 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

rockland county also really sucks

― Tad (llamasfur), Monday, 28 July 2003 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

No it doesn't.

― rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 28 July 2003 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

This is not a proper argument.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 28 July 2003 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

so?

― rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 28 July 2003 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

s ur gay

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 28 July 2003 16:18 (twenty-two years ago)

actually rosemarie's right rockland county does not suck ... its surrogate's court sucks, but the county itself does not suck. but it's more fun to say "rockland county sucks" than "rockland county surrogate's court sucks."

― Tad (llamasfur), Monday, 28 July 2003 16:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, ok.

Actually parts of Rockland do suck.

― rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 28 July 2003 16:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Who is s?

― rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 28 July 2003 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

to answer Archel's three-day-old question: Monica Edwards (1912-1998) was a children's writer who lived overlooking the Devil's Punchbowl, which you and Chris mentioned last October. She wrote a series of books set around a fictionalised version of her home, Punchbowl Farm, and a number of non-fiction works about the wildlife and specifically the badgers which flourished in the area. Unfortunately she, like much of the rural life she chronicled, is now *so gone* (hah, did you see what I did there?)

― robin carmody (robin carmody), Thursday, 31 July 2003 07:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Never heard of her I'm afraid Robin, but there are a couple of pubs on the raod that skirts it that aren't too bad, apart from the odd scary local who likes to stare at you.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 31 July 2003 07:45 (twenty-two years ago)

South Essex really is the pits. The 'corridor' along the Thames is grim, full of new towns / housing estates. All that is bad enough, but it is peopled by the worst Thatcher generation of city boys and empty headed girls.

By comparison, the north of the county is beauitful; lovely villages dominated by ancient churches, thatched houses and pretty pargeted stucco.

― Stanley, Thursday, 31 July 2003 08:58 (twenty-two years ago)

How on earth did I miss all the Stevenage hate on this thread? Peel has also been hating on the place on 'Home Truths' recently. The PF and I went on a fieldtrip back to my old haunts a few months ago and the bleakness was almost bracing.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 31 July 2003 09:05 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.norfolkwindmills.com/images/stevenage.jpg

― gareth (gareth), Thursday, 31 July 2003 09:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Slightly crap picture of the horrors of Brighton's old shopping centre:
http://www.mybrightonandhove.org.uk/images/nig1_place.jpg

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 31 July 2003 09:17 (twenty-two years ago)

It was so touching having a bandstand in the middle of the hideous, windswept concrete jungle.

Meanwhile, here's an indispensable item Matt found last night:
http://www.snapsandbytes.co.uk/t-shirt3.gif
The Bucks hate is strong in our house!

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 31 July 2003 09:20 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, that looks odd. Its meant to be a T shirt, obv. Matt's dad works in that building!

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 31 July 2003 09:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Stevenage resembles a gigantic university campus.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 31 July 2003 09:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I wasn't hating on Hitchin - it's quite a nice little town. The suicides all happen in Stevenage. Oh and I'm sure Gareth's pic of Stevo town centre has been doctored to look nicer.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 31 July 2003 12:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I know I keep harping on about it, but Stevenage is the worst place ever, simply put

STEVENAGE WISHES TO EAT YOUR CHILDREN, FOR STEVENAGE HATES YOUR CHILDREN, AND IT WILL LAUGH AS IT EATS THEM, FOR STEVENAGE HAS AN ENORMOUS BHS, AND ALL YOUR CHILDREN ARE LOCATED THERE, BEING IN PAIN. STEVENAGE HATES YOU, HATES YOU, HATES YOU. STEVENAGE IS AWFUL.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 31 July 2003 23:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Bucks also sucks ass, apart from Wing, Wing is nice.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 31 July 2003 23:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I saw lots of the pinefox's photos of Jerry in Stevenage the other week. It was very grey and concrete. Like Milton Keynes without the concrete cows.

Of course, nothing can compare to Cumbernauld or Airdrie in terms of hideous town centres, but that's a whole other ball-game I imagine, as Lanarkshire has some nice bits.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 31 July 2003 23:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Stevenage hatred defined conclusively in the film Boston Kickout

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 31 July 2003 23:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Goodness, I'd forgotten about that.

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 1 August 2003 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

then there's 'Hatfield 1980' by Everything But The Girl

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 1 August 2003 00:14 (twenty-two years ago)

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