Old ILX Posts Which Continue To Haunt Your Thoughts

Tuomas wrote this on thread crush archetypes on board I Love Everything on Sep 25, 2007

"Thass a noice vageen!"

i can't get it out of my head

lock thread

http://media-dominaria.cursecdn.com/attachments/88/299/635032494632214186.jpg

fine go ahead and don't eat your groceries seems pretty wasteful tho
― j., Saturday, April 4, 2015

just keep thinking about how poor kevin's groceries slowly mold and turn to dust

when i see people with different colored hats i think "look at all your different colored hats!"

― schwww im tired (harbl), Saturday, December 6, 2008 2:18 PM (6 years ago)

Coldplay's new album is great btw and I don't know what critics are hearing

not to derail thread just someone mentioned 'em lol so I thought I'd sneak it in there. plus I dunno if a thread for 'em exists

― nova, Tuesday, May 20, 2014 7:23 PM (11 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

those are the magic words to obtain a pazz n jop invitation

this one needs a little context:

So get what together?

― Stevolende, Monday, April 15, 2013 1:56 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

all of *waves hand upward* that

― zero dark (s1ocki), Monday, April 15, 2013 9:31 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark

If people know who you are and you suddenly appear out of the fog in sunglasses and a fright wig, people are going to be curious and they are going to ask questions.

this has haunted thoughts all day and ive no idea why

Can't stop thinking about...

(teaching 4 and 5 year olds about herbi-/carni-/omnivores)

kid: "which ones is a cat?"
me: "let's think about it. what do cats eat?"
kid: "creme de la creme"

― jello my future biafriend (roxymuzak), Friday, 8 May 2015 16:55 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

lol, that's a good one

WHA BLO WIT CHICHI FASSYMON TALKIN BOUT YARDA MAN

NONE U FASS KNO NUFFIN BOUT THE YARDCORE SOUND

U KNO NUFFIN TILL U HEARD EZ SMASHIN IT IN FLESH AND B-LIVE ROLLIN KRIS OVER A 4BEAT LIK WIT X AMOUNT A CRACKMAN YARDIES MASHIN UP INSIDE THE ARENA

ALLOW DIS FORUM

― HUNTA-D, Thursday, 1 August 2002 01:00 (12 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Oh do shut up.

― Tim, Thursday, 1 August 2002 01:00 (12 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

Tuomas (Tuomas) wrote this on thread vadge horror stories on board I Love Everything on Jan 23, 2005

Some time ago someone I used to have casual sex with informed me, in bed, that my, er, "lingam" was actually too big for her "yoni". Yes, those were her exact words. You can imagine that this was a turn-off in more than one way. We haven't had sex ever since.

---

Tuomas (Tuomas) wrote this on thread The funniest thing you've been told during sex on board I Love Everything on Dec 22, 2005

"You know, your lingam is too big for my yoni."

---

Tuomas wrote this on thread things our SOs have said about our sexual ability on board I Love TMI on Feb 1, 2009

"I've been wanting to tell you, your lingam is too big for my yoni."

Yes, a former partner really said that to me after sex. With those exact words.

shame on a lingam

humblebrag

"Rice that is Brown"

took a dump in the shower once, smushed the turds down the drain with my toes - felt like i was stomping grapes

― Princess TamTam, Sunday, 12 December 2010 00:34 (4 years ago) Permalink

my god

UGH

Princess TamTam : Princess TamTam's shower drain :: Princess TamTam's post : my brain

The last time my mum saw me naked was when I was about aged 12/13.
I had a problem with my foreskin, it wouldn't go back, and the doctor thought I might need circumcision.

But I exercised it like mad, and I used to go to my mum and present her with the latest results of my attemps to reveal my real penis to the world. Circumcision was avoided, cos she was impressed.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Wednesday, October 30, 2002 1:45 AM (12 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Is she hot?
― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, October 30, 2002 1:45 AM (12 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Nah, she's a dog. But I was into anything back then.
― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Wednesday, October 30, 2002 2:07 AM (12 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Haha what a clown.

Just want to preserve this because it's gold:

In an argument about the tube strike yesterday, our catering manager told me that a strike couldn't happen in the catering industry because "it just wouldn't work. The company would still need to provide a service, you see, and if the staff aren't there it's very difficult for them to do that."

― sktsh, Thursday, August 6, 2015 9:25 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

/!\ ALERT /!\ gucci mane said ti's balls were brittle /!\ ALERT /!\

-- luriqua, Saturday, July 21, 2007 6:42 PM (1 year ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rfr9bhSmfXc

When I think of Hootie I think of Kevin Sutton(a kid who cried in class because his dad was going to be pissed that he only got a B+in Western History) in the back of a Black F-150 on a neighborhood street in Livonia Michigan in 1995 with a bunch of dorky people from school. They were blasting an album cut from Cracked on the car stereo. I remember looking at a blonde girl under the orange glare of a streetlight who I thought was pretty at the time, not beautiful, but pretty, and thinking to myself I didn't realize this girl was a dork.
I don't know what I did before that moment, or afterwards, but the feeling of that particular moment is crystalized in my mind forever. Those kids in that truck in that weird little suburb were the perfect sociological representation on that album ever.

Kevin Sutton went to Michigan State after school. He probably has a slightly chunky wife and a decent home in the burbs somewhere, they probably planning to have their first child after his promotion next year. He turns 28 next June.

I am completely broke, I don't know how to make friends, and my only ambition is to learn more about western leftist terrorists on the late 60's early 70's (BaaderMeinhof. Weathermen, Red Army Faction...) and Viennese Actionism. I am reading Elementry Particles by Michel Houellebecq and it is rasing serious issues about my body iimage and my own sense of mortality. I often wonder why anyone bothers to live past 30.

Kevin Sutton totally won at life. From this, I draw the conclusion that Hoootie and the blowfish were a better band that Joy Division, who I considered vastly superior at the time.
Inane consensus pop will always superior to weird marginal arty angst music. Throbbing Gristle is for fuckheads, I think the music of Hoobastank is far more profound and meaningful.

― Disco Nihilist (mjt), Thursday, October 21, 2004 11:18 PM (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

magnificent.

magnificent and correct.

that is so good

Tuomas wrote this on thread crush archetypes on board I Love Everything on Sep 25, 2007
"Thass a noice vageen!"

still the king

also belongs in striking imagery thread xp

not sure the divide of "successful people like shit music" is particularly accurate. "he totally won at life" isn't what i think when i see people i went to school with. plus you know it's all entirely disingenuous anyway.

"i'm so underground it ruined my life"

Its emotional honesty is evocative. Haven't we all been there at some point, really.

yeah it's nicely written for sure.

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--klCbgXtu--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/hr9hwtlm0ee9ogho9rgk.jpg

that was the closest thing I could find to hootie and the bf giving the gas face, sorry

Lg otm, "from this, I draw the conclusion" lol no you fucking don't, that is not how logic or anything works

What a stupid conclusion to pretend to draw

Lots of people with or without chunky wives liked lots of different things at school, it's a large world, this means literally nothing, nothing at all, you'd think a disco nihilist would have gleaned this much

are you guys aspies?

Lol no I get that the thing here is supposed to be ether emotional recognition that haven't we all thought stupid thoughts like "why does it always rain on me, is it because I liked throbbing gristle when I was seventeen", mostly just pushing back against the idea that this is "correct" it obv isn't

just cos something makes you feel cool doesn't mean it's right

like smoking xpost

haunting post not backed up by the data, posters object

that vageen was average at best

tuomas eight years ahead on NOOICE tho'
http://i.minus.com/ixCd9wDKPafka.gif

pushing back on the idea that my thinking the post was correct isnt correct is correct, its not

how far along have we gotten now?

the fact you think it's correct on this exact topic is a damning indictment

You shouldn't get into the arts bc you think it will make you happy. Idk why you should get into it but def not to be happy

the fact that you think my thinking its correct is a damning indictment is a mild indictment

how far along have we etc

have you guys seen hootie lately? he looks way better than he did in the 90s. i bet he's vegan

Best Buy 3 wrote this on thread Most despicable character on It's Always Sunny In Philly... on board I Love Everything on Jul 9, 2010

It's an amazing show, and you can pick up both seasons for only $34.99. My name's Jason and I can help you with all your television comedy questions.

So my kid's been sick with diarrhea for a while. Doctors don't really know what's wrong with him. They think he had a virus and his intestines aren't bouncing back quite like they should or something. He's been managing through life but just constantly has the shits. Anyhow, we brought home a collection kit from the doctor's yesterday and we collected a sample. Wife texts me from home just now and somehow they've misplaced it. Just a lonely little diarrhea sample lurking in our house somewhere.

― how's life, Wednesday, April 29, 2015 9:44 AM bookmarkflaglink

sooooo....didja wind up ever finding it? have this image of like, finding it 4 years later and there being rodents and flies everywhere.

I have no idea! oh dear god.

We've discussed the theme song already:

Law and Order show
Law and Order show now
Law and Order show
Okay so first comes the law part,
and then comes the order part
First we'll arrest them and
then we'll indict them and
then ...

There is gonna be a twi - ist
And it'll blow your mind

Law and Order show ...

― nabisco, Friday, October 26, 2007 1:54 PM (twelve years ago) bookmarkflaglink

orrrder show

I have no idea! oh dear god.

irl tee hee

lol nabisco's law and order lyrics

Was Nabisco a script consultant on Netflix's Love?

The post that actually haunts me:

haaaaa
I solved it!

We just got a call in from someone insisting on caint as gaeilge- it was transferred to this guy, and he speaks irish like a warrior poet, and QUIETLY

― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 4:29 AM (six years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Monday, December 10, 2018 9:52 AM (one year ago) bookmarkflaglink

god that fella turned out to have a tragic tale might write it out sometime

do we have a crazy coworkers you were afraid would stab you then you found out their story and you pitied them but were just as sure they would eventually stab you thread

― puppy bash (darraghmac), Monday, December 10, 2018 10:28 AM (one year ago)

ok darragh now this is the post that haunts my thoughts

ok ill get on it

on 77

!!

oh i meant at some stage

also why did you choose the phrase '30 packs'? i'm curious to what wheels turned when that 'fell out of your ass', also what wheels turned when you decided on the phrase 'falling out of your ass', also why you felt the need to deploy sexual imagery 3 times in your 'zinger' - "i need to know!" i'm also curious as to what drives you and morbius to continue posting here - i can't imagine it's 'i like the conversation' and god knows it's not 'i like the folx there and they like me' cuz i'd guess neither of you could find five threads either of you posted on more than four times that didn't eventually feature the majority of the posters on said thread calling you douchebags, i could be wrong i don't know. who do you like here? who likes you? name names - "i need to know!" i'm curious in what drives a man to post on a messageboard filled with people he doesn't like that like him even less. i don't think it's trolling but i can't figure out exactly what it is. not trying to 'zing' you here (i'd've accused you of shooting zesty ones out of your cock or buying 27 packs of stroh's or something - hit em up oops style), sincerely interested (perhaps, yes, if only to answer why do I continue posting here?). i'd ask others why they bother to engage morbius or oops but i've been there so i sorta understand the impulse.
-- j blount (jamesbloun...) (webmail), November 12th, 2005 2:59 AM. (papa la bas) (link)

I regret the purchases that represented some other course my life didn't take. The 5-string bass guitar. The small PA and DJ lights. The ill fitting scuba gear. The coffee-table erotica. The roadside geology guides.

― Sanpaku, Tuesday, March 24, 2020 10:46 PM (twenty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

no. not old, just planning ahead

"there goes max," they say, "the switzerland of blowjobs"

― max,Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:13 (thirteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

u old

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 23 August 2007 23:59 (thirteen years ago) link

u wait

― Pleasant Plains, Friday, 24 August 2007 00:00 (thirteen years ago) link

*clock strikes midnight*

where is jon when we need him

if spurs end up with

lloris
walker kaboul vert bae
dembele sandro paulinho
lamela soldado chadli

plus some cash for the stadium, they should put up a statue of levy and baldini

― mizzell, Thursday, 1 August 2013 15:34 (seven years ago) bookmarkflaglink

Hmm

I'm not sure if it was an ILX post or not, maybe I'm hallucinating it bc I can't find it, but I thought j0rdan had some thoughts on how he couldn't stand to see people's thumbs in photos where they were holding something for the camera, and every time I'm about to post a photo somewhere online in which I'm holding something and my thumb is visible I'm reminded of it and weirded out by my own thumb. So I inevitably post photos where I'm holding something and it looks like it's just sort of floating in the air because I make sure my hand cannot be seen. If I'm holding it at the back and only my arm is visible, I don't even show the arm, because I don't want it to look like the post on a yard sign.

Tipsy Mothra's post immediately after the final episode of Mad Men where he figured out an ending that had been conceived four years earlier exactly.

do we have a crazy coworkers you were afraid would stab you then you found out their story and you pitied them but were just as sure they would eventually stab you thread

― puppy bash (darraghmac),

not to harsh anyone's loogie but it's the impression that I get. Sorry, carry on.

life is like that mannnnnn

Have you ever been “stabbed”

I think "The Edge you're more beast than man!" was quite a bit funnier than the actual punchline.

― The Good Dr. Bill (Andrew Unterberger), Thursday, 30 September 2004 14:55 (nineteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

can greenzo get real here for a second...trite, unoriginal, and too easy. Kind of like the religion it skewers. Chinese Democracy: sprawling, ambitious, and interesting in parts. Suffers from Axl's Id.

― Mr. Jay Batman, Sunday, June 12, 2011 11:06 PM bookmarkflaglink

I'm not sure if it was an ILX post or not, maybe I'm hallucinating it bc I can't find it, but I thought j0rdan had some thoughts on how he couldn't stand to see people's thumbs in photos

Please Stop Showing Your Thumbs on Social Media

(which got referenced in this thread: hey gawker dudes. what the fuck is wrong with you?)

deadmaus's clit is MIDI?

― waddy watchel (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Saturday, December 20, 2014 9:03 AM bookmarkflaglink

There should be one of these for posts of your own that haunt your thoughts because I have several of those.

Maybe a "post here when you need to personally apologise for an old post" thread. I've got a few to post there

I have a few years worth

this topic started before I was even born👍

― Biya Staunton, Wednesday, 23 March 2016 8:46 AM (seven years ago) bookmarkflaglink

He had three other posts

Biya Staunton wrote this on thread discovering a JUG OF PEE in your new bedroom: C or D on board I Love Everything on 22/03/2016

Is this website even used anymore?

Biya Staunton wrote this on thread Jug Bands S/D on board I Love Music on 22/03/2016

Any more information on jugs or jug bands?
Anyone? please?

Biya Staunton wrote this on thread The Band. on board I Love Music on 22/03/2016

Does anyone have any information on jug(instrument) or jug bands?
If you do, Then that's going to save me heaps

As all teenagers, seems Biya was drawn to the internet for information about Jugs

Honestly captivated at this single posters quest for hidden jug knowledge

took a dump in the shower once, smushed the turds down the drain with my toes - felt like i was stomping grapes

― Princess TamTam, Sunday, 12 December 2010 00:34

^^^
indelible post

thanks a lot

blame imago for re-posting on here 5 years ago, and then it haunting my thoughts ever since

I quite often fetishise the idea of a culturally rich dotage, listehning to, watching, and reading all the albums, films, and books I've hoarded over my life, and then I remember this...

In recent years the collector had no interest in his collection. Ailing health, bereavement, and slowly declining hearing had sapped his once immense passion for music and left him with little but crosswords and memories of springer spaniels, tabby cats, and a wife who had all passed on. For a long time, he didn’t even have a record player on which to listen to his collection, and it had sat, unmovable and unplayable, in his living room like a giant hibernating creature gathering dust.

...and I don't want that.

― Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 30 January 2012 15:43 (eleven years ago) bookmark flag link

and if covid isolation didn't teach us all to that, hopefully decades early enough to do what we will with the info.....

Just imagine decades of Lutheran church basement potluck cleanup when some dishes are scraped clean and others have a few servings left uneaten

― underminer of twenty years of excellent contribution to this borad (dan m), Tuesday, 6 August 2024 18:27 (three minutes ago) link

just putting that one here for inevitable future hauntings

this thread will live on long after my death

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, August 2, 2006 4:21 PM (eighteen years ago)

RIP STRONGO YOU WERE THE BEST OF US AND NEVER LESS THEN US STAY RESOLUTE IN HEAVEN ALWAYS!

idk where to put this but it's significant enough that i need to tell you guys about it. thanks for listening.

the recent revive on ilm of the infamously titled thread that refers to bowie's 1978 album as "THE LODGER" combined with my increased viewing of basketball for the nba playoffs reminded me: somewhere along the line, one of the really pleasant voices in my head started to refer to everything in basketball with "THE" in front of it, i.e. "jarrett allen gets the opening tip and does the slam dunk!!", "curry makes the three pointer!", "draymond with the flagrant!", and so on.

this is something that's gone on in my psyche since early childhood; mid 1980s.

ever since the first time i saw that bowie post on ilm, probably a decade or so ago, i've had to question everything. that adding the unnecessary "the" in front of stuff... is that like a thing? like an old school meme or something? i've never really encountered it anywhere else.

(and for clarity: that part of my brain who does that only does it when talking basketball. he knows it's grammatically incorrect and sounds ridiculous, but that's part of the fun of the game, right friend? kind of exactly like how it became a thread-specific meme here on ilx.)

anyway, as much as that weird semi-coincidence makes me giggle, it's also kind of side-eye energy. keep up the good work, everyone.👍🏻

Many years ago, I read the novel Puckoon by Spike Milligan, where, unless I misremember thoroughly, the author often refers to the protagonist Dan Milligan as "the Milligan", and possibly to other characters in a similar way. This gave me a very strange feeling of reading a vaguely unfamiliar vein of an utterly familiar language, so your post resonates with me.

I've wondered, but never bothered to look up, whether this has been transferred from Celtic syntax or something. Or it may be simply be that the Irish are the terrible men for the definite article.

Yeah definitely the case, it’s because there’s no indefinite article in Irish and that transfers to Hiberno English syntax along with other features of the language

🎶Eileen, you are my queen🎶

(xp) See Flann O'Brien's tales of 'the brother'.