Are you Desperate?

Most ridiculous thing I have ever read was s ome woman in G2 who was making a big deal about giving up sex for a while. It was like 'After six weeks it was really really hard and I nearly caved in.' I mean it's not like going down for the shops for cigarettes, is it? Or maybe it is for some people. I dunno - if buying a packet of cigarettes took as much effort as getting laid then I think my attempts to quit might have been somewhat more successful.

a) Desperate for a drink

b) Desperate to not be hanging around with that annoying but strangely attractive short blond guy.

Men, OTOH, have a different kind of desperation. Women I know seem to have relationship desperation, men have shag desperation. That's very easy to sort out - they're the ones that come up to you and tell you these ludicrious things like they know you when they've never spoke to you before and use awful come on lines and won't leave you be and aren't very discriminant anyway. This isn't to say that women don't have shag desperation and men don't get insistant on getting married and having kids, it's just more common the other way around.

The only thing wrong with it is that it IS off putting. I mean, a friend of ours, going back to my formerly sex obsessed friend, would talk to me because she'd glom onto him nonstop and try to monopolize all his time because she was attracted to him, and he'd tell me that it would drive him crazy, he found her to be "too possessive as a friend" and would often talk to me when we were all together as a break from the possessiveness. People can feel when you are being desperate and just trying to get something going with anyone for the sake of doing it. It's like someone else I know who is "into" me - he's only into me because he's desperate for a new relationship, I think, and it got to the point of obsessiveness, he talks to me like he knows me (he knows nothing about me and presumes to tell me all about the people who have "hurt" me in the past and why I'm screwing myself up with my current relationship and what I need to do with my life and what I "act like", blah blah blah), gets all pissy for me "not calling him" (again, I point out I barely know this guy), and he's extremely nasty towards my relationship, telling friends of mine nasty comments and such about me and Ramon. I mean, I barely even want to be friends with the guy based off his desperation for me, much less anything else - it just comes off creepy.

Plus, the people it DOES attract are entirely the wrong people, they're either desperate and needy themselves, or they are going to abuse this need in some way.

Bad bad bad. Don't be desperate! You don't need anyone!

Anyway, I am not desperate but I bet I would be. My head says it would take me 12 months before I descended from reasonable human being to one-track beast, my heart suggests more like 12 weeks.

It's odd. I fancy lots of people. Just none of the people I actually meet.

Or maybe desperation is actually all about wanting/trying to get with people, even if you don't actually fancy them.

Right now I am desperate for a holiday more than anything else.

I dunno, I am 'desperate' in that it's been so long that I suspect it's doing bad things to my brain, but not in the sense that I'd sleep with anyone for the sake of it. Quite the converse: it's as though the lack of sex (or just intimacy generally) has made my specific libido shut down entirely. It's not that I've gone off sex entirely, more that I never meet anyone I'm attracted to.

God, story of my life, Ricky! OK, it hasn't been *that* long since I last had sex... in fact, my sex drive kind of died while I was still actually technically having sex. Thing is, you get to the point where it's kind of a relief not having to deal with it any more. It makes things easier, i.e. you don't end up going home with the first person to actually respond, resulting in a big old mess.

I know that I *can* still fancy people, every time I see whatever new rock boys Rough Trade try to shove down my throat. Perhaps this is like people who get so addicted to porn that they can no longer get it up with normal women. I've been so warped by pop that I can never have a real relationship with an actual man. Oh god, that's even sadder.