Cameron Crowe's Aloha

Of course it's already been described in the Sony hacked emails by Amy Pascal as "ridiculous" and as having scenes which "make no sense"..

Anyway here's the trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZyEAiQuHss

Disappointing. From the title, I thought for sure this was going to be the long-awaited Mr. Hand sequel from Fast Times.

ha yeah Mr Hand was my first thought on just seeing the title too.

@NickPinkerton
Unbelievable that Aloha is being received as garbage I mean this is Cameron Crowe the director of Singles that we're talking about.

Adios.

When even Peter Travers writes a bad review of your movie...

lol @ Nick Pinkerton

this really does seem like a shitshow

http://variety.com/2015/film/reviews/aloha-review-cameron-crowe-1201506992/

that makes, probably, three commercial and critical flops in a row for crowe. bet he ends up making a "netflix original series" next.

will this be as fun as 50 first dates was to see with a local crowd

probably not

here's Alex Ross Perry with a half-hearted defence

http://thetalkhouse.com/film/talks/alex-ross-perry-listen-up-philip-talks-cameron-crowes-aloha/

which, funnily enough, mentions that Crowe is working on a pilot for Showtime

Despite all these faults, the film isn’t entirely unpleasant.

I am sad for Danny McBride, dude deserves better

this by all means should flop like elizabethtown, but Bradley Cooper's doing crazy good right now - right at the cusp of being a legit superstar. I feel like this is the test of whether he can turn shit to gold. His Cocktail.

Much of that cast probably deserves better.

idg the appeal of Bradley Cooper at all

like, I just don't want to watch him, he evokes "smug jackass" for me, I can't take him seriously or care about whatever hackneyed shit he's trying to put over

i've liked him ok and def don't think he belongs at that leo/cruise/bullock/smith tier where you can expect big hits irrelevant to the film's franchisability, but his track record box office-wise has been pretty great (ignoring Serena, which was buried). And this is his first real crack at it after Americans Sniper and Hustle.

"it" being a movie that could only succeed if america is primed to watch the star do just about anything

it doesn't work that way anymore! stars don't drive movies like they used to. this is gonna flop.

they don't do it like they used to, but they can still do it on a global scale - esp when this movie has a fairly modest budget (reportedly under 40m). it doesn't have to be a blockbuster, just a sleeper alternative to KABOOM PART 4

idg the appeal of Bradley Cooper at all

― Οὖτις, Friday, May 29, 2015 10:24 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

and the ads for the movie makes it seem like the whole plot of the movie is him choosing between two beautiful women.. my reaction to it: fuck that guy

if they can find enough adults willing to watch a love triangle of cooper, mcadams and stone to make like 100-150m around the world, that's a win. and cooper-mcadams-stone has a better crack at managing it than say, orlando bloom and kirsten dunst

not saying it WON'T bomb, esp considering the reviews. Just saying it's not necessarily gonna be mortdecai

even We Bought A Zoo made $120m globally

that's a kids movie

damn don't tell cameron that

I would maybe watch this if there's a scene where Danny McBride punches Bradley Cooper in the face. does that happen?

maybe I would just watch that scene

wait according to a casual aside in that alex ross perry piece emma stone plays a hapa girl in this? come on.

1/4 happa

bradley cooper has the vibe of an unrepentant date rapist

https://vimeo.com/5344409

^ for both said "vibe" and footage of comedians beating him up

The love triangle thing is creepy because Bradley Cooper is starting to look old enough to be Emma Stone's dad.

More like a-blow-ha

xpost

why is that creepy? emma stone's character is an adult.

Because she looks like she's 17 here (and kind of acts like it in the trailer) and Bradley Cooper looks like he's 42.

I would maybe watch this if there's a scene where Danny McBride punches Bradley Cooper in the face dick.

We're talking Danny McBride here.

and the ads for the movie makes it seem like the whole plot of the movie is him choosing between two beautiful women.. my reaction to it: fuck that guy

― panettone for the painfully alone (mayor jingleberries), Friday, May 29, 2015

why is this wrong?

re Coop: I haven't liked one of his Oscar pics and Oscar hopefuls but he's not the problem with them; he brought what conviction he could to American Sniper and was totally game in AH.

Reading descriptions of this, it scans like a sorry H'wood approximation of one of John Sayles more ambitious late period films, like like Sunshine State or Silver City. (Man, it looks like there are a few recent Sayles movies I had no idea existed!)

i was really bored during a long work break near a movie theater and decided i was more curious about how bad this was than i was curious about how good other movies were. it's pretty silly!

Well this did indeed bomb. Bradley Cooper - not a superstar.

the movie went to great lengths to draw attention to his beautiful blue eyes. look viewer, gaze upon the hypnotic cooper peepers!

how many "superstars" in that sense are there, though? even tom cruise/clooney/etc. can't guarantee a movie good office.

Cooper's good in The Place Beyond The Pines.

Bradley Cooper IS big enough to make a nonsensical romcom profitable, but he already used up his turn on Silver Linings Playbook

cruise can guarantee good box office, fyi. Not everything's a smash, but even the underperformers make double their production budget.

assuming he's the lead - the rare movie with the credit "And Tom Cruise" tends to tank.

every movie with Tom Cruise first billed has made at least 200m in the global box office since 2000 (Eyes Wide Shut only made 162m). It's pretty damn impressive.

Clooney is a pretty weak superstar, fo sho tho

and to answer the question - there AREN'T a lot of superstars, in terms of people who can guarantee north of double the budget if its promoted wide as a vehicle for them - most remaining (Cruise, Smith, DiCaprio) are in maturity. Instead you have franchise stars mistaken for superstars (Downey, Depp) and a few dramatic stars who America aren't against seeing but won't necessarily see in just anything (Clooney, apparently Cooper). But Hollywood's still trying to make them for sure - Channing might still become one if he can stay on game keep the damn spock ears off.

wait according to a casual aside in that alex ross perry piece emma stone plays a hapa girl in this? come on.

so not gonna hapa

keep the damn spock ears off

what is this in reference to?

a movie about channing tatum defending mila kunis in space that might have done a little better if channing wasn't doing badass keebler cosplay in it

http://media.salon.com/2015/02/jupiter_ascending3.jpg

haha oh right that thing, totally forgot about it

Hey, he's not an elf, he's a space dog. Or something.

Not a lot of movie-opening charming male tough leads at all these days, in the rakish Bruce Willis/Harrison Ford or even Cruise mold.

Goslin?

by which I mean Ryan Gosling

http://themuse.jezebel.com/emma-stone-playing-a-half-asian-character-in-aloha-lit-1708174302

Gosling's biggest movie to date in terms of global gross was a romantic ensemble comedy with Steve Carell that made less than Jack Reacher. So no.

i think he COULD be one, but he hasn't really give it a shot yet

yeah he's not at that level of success, but he is a "charming tough guy" type imo

the careers of Liam Neeson and Kevin Costner are thankful for this void in action movie superstars so they can get some shine

liam's earned it after taken (though he's run it into the ground) but kevin's renaissance has been kind of baffling. NONE of his new movies has been particularly profitable but he still has another 3 coming each year.

i kinda wonder if the problem is that franchises are so prominent now that it's hard to create a persona outside of them. Sorta like Sean Connery.

xp I just caught Draft Day last week and liked it fairly well. Anything having to do with sports or with the wild west is his element. In any other capacity, he's insufferable.

but even the sports movies haven't done that well since like, tin cup. hollywood's just so desperate for an elder statesmen who hasn't surrendered himself to Expendability they just decided Cos was a big deal again in 2014

I haven't seen Man of Steel, so I don't know how large his role was in it, but it seems to have been the springboard for his return to "relevance."

yeah i hope costner bought his agent a car for getting as much mileage as he did out of "pa kent"

oh man i had totally forgotten about his big "moment" in Man of Steel til just now

jeezus the trailer of Draft Day looked like it was made only for ppl who know nothing about the operation of pro sports.

Then again, same for Jerry Maguire.

that wachowski film was actually kind of charming, in a way. it was obviously personal, it was genuinely strange. unfortunately the wachowskis have no idea how to structure/stage/shoot a movie anymore, so it was also nearly unwatchable.

that also functions as an accurate description of Aloha

this was such a fascinating flop of a film -- you could see all the seams and imagine how weightless and frothy it was supposed to feel as opposed to how plodding and nonsensical it actually came off

haven't seen this but my friend w a masters in hawaiian language described it to me in a thirty-minute "and so then" monologue that was the most fun i've had at the movies in a long time

my understanding is bill murray is a kind of bond villain in this film and the good guys defeat him with the help of bumpy kanahele? but it's a romcom.

i caught this on cable in overlapping segments--and im pretty sure i've seen the whole thing in some order--but now in my memory it's this strange moebius strip type thing with no definite beginning or ending. so for now i kinda like it.

this

will this be as fun as 50 first dates was to see with a local crowd

probably not

― difficult listening hour, Friday, May 29, 2015 2:18 PM (7 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

was probably the wrong call

that alex ross perry piece linked above makes me feel better about being pretty confused about some of the military/satellite/cellphonetower plot.

lol @ the launch sequence over....pearl jam?

this movie was v bad & bizarre

maybe im remembering a different scene but i thought that was The Blue Nile.

the blue nile ft. eddie vedder

For some reason I thought people hated this purely because of the supposed whitewashing, but I was not prepared for how bad it really is. All over the place, non-sensical, constant tone shifts, bond villain, "special effects", something about a "pedestrian gate"? The only good thing in the whole movie involved an essentially mute performance from Krasinski. NB, I have a very high tolerance for bad movies.

^^^ correct, this movie is a complete travesty. from a writer/director whose sentimental bullshit usually works on me at least a LITTLE. i came away satisfied from We Bought A Zoo, for Pete's sake!