sleep talking

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doom-e's girl: (asleep) no - please don't - please go away.

doom-e look over from his writing - you've having a bad dream, wake up.

doom-e girl: (asleep) no i am not it's pricks of fire and teleportational devices and all sorts licorice.

doom-e: alright.

doom-e girl: (asleep) cilla black - i know, doom-e, that you have cilla black posters.

doom-e: oh - where are they kept?

doom-e girl: cilla billa hilla in the drawers of wales.

doom-e turns off aol and goes to bed.

― doom-e, Monday, 14 October 2002 22:07 (twenty-three years ago)

and doom-e's girl has not realised that he's written this down as she will kick his sorry arse if she ever found out!

― doom-e, Monday, 14 October 2002 22:09 (twenty-three years ago)

My Dad used to swear in his sleep. I'd hear him saying 'bastard mumble mumble arsehole'. Very amusing, until you couldn't sleep after his nocturnal tourettes mutated into snoring.

― Dave B (daveb), Monday, 14 October 2002 22:39 (twenty-three years ago)

haha, my ex woke me up one night trying to drive a container truck in bed. he doesnt drive one btw, but he had all the lingo down for the 'truckie-soul-train' and was really having fun.

― donna (donna), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 00:14 (twenty-three years ago)

I heard a guy say "No Mr. Headmaster, not like that..." when he was asleep once. It worried me greatly.

― toraneko (toraneko), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 02:27 (twenty-three years ago)

I talk utter nonsense when I'm asleep (so not much different from when awake, then). Latest = sitting bolt upright in bed and demanding querulously "Do You Sell Deep Frozen Doughnuts??" then insisting I didn't want THOSE ones because they were not blue.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 04:21 (twenty-three years ago)

both last year:

one friend "...i don't think the vice-president would approve..."

another "i am not a machine!"

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 04:27 (twenty-three years ago)

This thread makes me smile.

When I was writing some 3d graphics software earlier this year, I thought about vectors maths all day, every day. My girlfriend kept telling me "When you're alseep you always talk about nerd crap."

I always asked her what exactly I was saying, hoping that maybe I'd solved some of the problems I'd been having in my sleep, but she said she was too disgusted by it to commit it to memory.

― Andrew (enneff), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 05:25 (twenty-three years ago)

My wife insists that I once screamed "I'll show you motherfuckers how Mahler is SUPPOSED to be played!" whilst sleeping.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 07:14 (twenty-three years ago)

My dad plays golf in his sleep. Most disturbing getting up during the night to see your dad in the buff standing in the ironing basket thinking he's going for a hole in one!!!

― Plinky (Plinky), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 07:19 (twenty-three years ago)

My then boyfriend sat bolt upright in bed, yelled out "SNAKES!" and snuggled back down.

― luna.c (luna.c), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 11:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm always having conversations while completely asleep. Sometimes even involving the telephone. Apparently, they make more sense and are more coherant than my waking conversations. Most perplexing sleeptalk - apparently received a call from then-bassist, arranged an entire rehearsal, and then was totally perplexed when the band turned up on my doorstep the next day.

It would be a lot better if I just rambled on about clothespegs and post-thermonuclear plumbing and suchness that my Ex used to ramble on about.

― kate, Tuesday, 15 October 2002 11:20 (twenty-three years ago)

I once turned to my girlfriend and said: "Do you know Mandee? Isn't she nice. I dearly love her". Cue much explaining of who Mandee is the next morning, and how I don't love her in *that* way, I just love her in a friend type way and well, no, she's not exactly ugly, actually she's quite pretty, but... Jesus! It's just a dream!

― Madeleine (Madeleine), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 15:42 (twenty-three years ago)

The boyfriend says that sometimes I bite when I sleep. Not grinding my teeth, but chop chop chop big bites out of the air, noisy enough to wake him up. Our bed's a bit too small so we're very close together and I could see how it could be scary for him...although I think it's funny.

Oh but I can top it with his old habit of playing Dungeons and Dragons for hours and hours fueled by caffeine, then he'd go to bed and continue rolling dice in his sleep. So he'd be swinging his arms and yelling 'roll initiative' all night. He's precious.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 16:14 (twenty-three years ago)

I am alleged to have talked in my sleep, except I am apparently even less comprehensible than when awake. One friend claims I once started singing Onward Christian Soldiers in my sleep, and that I sang a couple of verses, but I find this unlikely since I only know the four lines that I guess are the chorus.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 17:58 (twenty-three years ago)

''My wife insists that I once screamed "I'll show you motherfuckers how Mahler is SUPPOSED to be played!" whilst sleeping.''

HA HA HA HA!!! I'm cracking up colin. that's just great. my brother says that sometimes i scream a lot when i sleep but i think he just wants piss me off.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 18:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Hahahahahahahhaa. This thread is brilliant.

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 14:34 (twenty-three years ago)

I've apparently made some mutterings over the moon. But they've been drowned out by the snores.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 15:28 (twenty-three years ago)

I once shrieked like a scream queen according to the wife and I yelled out "I don't believe in voodoo!!!" And recently with my cold and all I've apparently taken to purring in my sleep.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 15:34 (twenty-three years ago)

my dad once shouted "MIND THAT CORK!!" when he wz snoozing in front of the TV and the entire family

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 18 October 2002 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

on 4th form camp one of my friends yelled out "quick, the cops are coming!"

― di smith (lucylurex), Sunday, 20 October 2002 00:50 (twenty-two years ago)

A college roommate claims I once lectured in my sleep about different types of skirts.

― j.lu (j.lu), Sunday, 20 October 2002 01:14 (twenty-two years ago)

What is it about dads and sleep talking? Mine once shouted "Man from Gibralter!"

― Kim (Kim), Sunday, 20 October 2002 01:59 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

Revive! Last night I went drinking with Jim and had a few too many. WHen I got home and went to bed, I fell heavily asleep. Apparently my boyfriend came to bed at about 1am, turned off the light, and I said "hey! Now I can't see!" and I made him turn it back on. But I was asleep at the time.

I love this thread, I am laughing my arse off.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 29 November 2003 04:03 (twenty-one years ago)

My soph year of college, I'd apparently sit bolt upright in my sleep, excitedly babble organic chem stuff (my roommate, naturally, had no idea whether what I was saying made sense or not) and lay right back down and fall asleep. My roommate was a little worried about my stress level because of this.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Saturday, 29 November 2003 04:13 (twenty-one years ago)

"But there isn't a fish named opakapaka, that's what!" -> me a few years ago, in response to God knows what, and dead wrong.

― Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 29 November 2003 04:34 (twenty-one years ago)

two months pass...

usual quote from me(allegedly):

"mmmph! mmm mrmrmr. mrrrrmm. nf! hmm."

― Kingfish Beatbox (Kingfish), Thursday, 19 February 2004 14:59 (twenty-one years ago)

My son does this. A few nights ago he was all "no Beatsy* don't eat the chocolate you'll get sick...NO BEATSY!".

*Beatsy = my mom's pomeranian

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 19 February 2004 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

six months pass...

http://www.pointsincase.com/quotes/sleep-talking.htm

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

"mmmph! mmm mrmrmr. mrrrrmm. nf! hmm."

What?!

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 23:48 (twenty-one years ago)

one of my best friends at college was a violent sleep talker. she woke me up once by (sleep)walking into my room, saying "PENIS," and then cackling.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 23:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I do that.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 23:55 (twenty-one years ago)

she didn't expect an answer to that, at least. occasionally she would seem to want to have a conversation, which was extremely unsettling.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 9 September 2004 00:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Heh I love this thread.

My other 'alf does what Andrew mentioned upthread - codes in his sleep sometimes. He too wanted to know what he said in case he'd solved something but I didnt understand the maths and stuff enough (he does 3d vector type programming).

More recently, one night he started singing "la la laaa.. la la.. laa lala" in this really cutsey girly way, then went back to his snoring. I still give him shit about this =)

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 9 September 2004 01:57 (twenty-one years ago)

nine months pass...

apparently i was laughing maniacally in my sleep last night, 'like i was awake'. i can't remember a second of it. ow dear.

― N_RQ, Friday, 10 June 2005 10:41 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

Revive! I laughed myself awake this morning and even after I was awake, I couldn't stop. It was just nonstop HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA almost like crying, but I was laughing.

Husband: Are you alright?
Me: HAHAHAHAHA Yeah - I'm laughing!
Husband: Yeah...I know.

The worst part is that I was laughing at something that should not be laughed at: a demented figure skater.

― The Milkmaid (82375538-A) (The Milkmaid), Monday, 23 October 2006 15:17 (eighteen years ago)

I used to hear my dad sleep-talking, but it always sounded like he was on the phone with someone who was dominating the conversation. Sample: "Mmm-hmmm ... okay ... yeah ... uh-huh ... sounds good ... uh-huh."

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 23 October 2006 15:22 (eighteen years ago)

I was awoken by my girlfriend's uncontrollable laughter at the idea of a "Journal of Indescribable Chemistry"... and that it was (admittedly genuinely) amusing because it would be entirely blank.

― you win again, gravity! (tissp), Monday, 23 October 2006 15:24 (eighteen years ago)

me: HEY YOU GUYS BE CAREFUL!
WATCH OUT YOU COULD FALL!
CAREFUL UP THERE!
oh me? don't worry about me... i'm a pirate.

― jhoshea megafauna (scoopsnoodle), Monday, 23 October 2006 15:28 (eighteen years ago)

Dreaming that I am reading some hilarious book (what, I never know), I laugh in my sleep pretty frequently. Worse are the times I'm convinced I've seen a spider crawl under my pillow, 'cause I'll jump up yelling "SPIDER!!!!!". Then it's "oh, never mind I'm asleep" and I'm back snoozing while my husband's heart is pounding away and he's thinking about spiders in the bed. He sings in his sleep, which is funny. Generally I can't puzzle out what melody he's going for.

Once, my first husband crawled into bed after I'd been asleep for awhile and snuggled me. "You sound just like my husband" said I. OOPS! Another time, I woke him up babbling about how he should ride his bike to work (he installed cable TV and therefore drove an enormous truck, but I had this dream of him peddling away with tools and cables strapped like a bandolier).

― Jaq (Jaq), Monday, 23 October 2006 15:35 (eighteen years ago)

pleasant plains has done that spider thing to me a couple of times but its more like i wake up to him leaning over me with his hand poised to strike something on my back

pp: "dont move! stay still!!"

me: "what? what??"

pp: "oh....nothing. zzzzzzzzz"

― sunny successor (katharine), Monday, 23 October 2006 15:41 (eighteen years ago)

one time sleeping @ a girl's house kneeling by the side of the bed defusing a bomb (actually pulling her underwear off a shelf)

her: what are you doing
me: not now
her: no really what are you doing
me: no time to explain, need to concentrate
her: yr throwing my clothes on the floor
me: no i'm... uh oh yeah haha sorry hehe um i tee thought, uh... (uncontrollable giggling as i try to explain what i was up to)

― jhoshea megafauna (scoopsnoodle), Monday, 23 October 2006 15:53 (eighteen years ago)

jaymc's dad =

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 23 October 2006 15:57 (eighteen years ago)

hahaha

― sunny successor (katharine), Monday, 23 October 2006 16:15 (eighteen years ago)

hi sleep talking thread, let me introduce you to noize bored post:

According to my roommate, one night last week (Thursday maybe?) I passed out drunk on our couch and was shouting in my sleep ("WE'VE GOT TO KEEP THEM IN THE WALLS, THAT WAY WE STILL HAVE THE ADVANTAGE") and got up and peed for a minute and a half EYES CLOSED on a beanbag chair in the middle of the tv room. Apparently the ass-indentation provided a proper bowl shape such that none spilled over onto the rug.
-- a naked Kraken annoying Times Square tourists with an acoustic guitar (crucial.bonu...), September 19th, 2006 10:55 AM. (nickalicious)

― polar bear flashback episode (nickalicious), Monday, 23 October 2006 20:35 (eighteen years ago)

The worst part is that I was laughing at something that should not be laughed at: a demented figure skater.

I did this. I was dreaming about too old ladies being decapitated by a rope tied to a van.

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 10:30 (eighteen years ago)

My brother (looking at me): CHARLES! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!!!!!
Me: What? I'm reading. You okay?
My brother: What the HELL ARE YOU DOING!?? THE GOLD! THE BLOODY GOLD!!! It's worth MONEY!!! Uhhhh....

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 10:34 (eighteen years ago)

i'd like to take this opportunity to thank weed for robbing me of my dreams. i can't imagine some of the shit i'd come out with otherwise.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 11:51 (eighteen years ago)

Apparently I woke up last night and said, "Interspecies beetle sex! Change the fucking channel, already," rolled over and went back to sleep. Luckily I don't remember the dream.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 13:09 (eighteen years ago)

"no no it's OK! i can pee here!"

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 13:18 (eighteen years ago)

I woke up the other night laughing about taking the piss out of Pele.

― ONIMO has fallen into changing screen name HELL (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 13:18 (eighteen years ago)

I speak a lot while sleeping, or at least used to. I once told a story while asleep, the story being something I had read just before going to bed. Also my dad did this quite a lot too. My mom told she was woken up cos my dad was singing a song. Another time, he started talking about wines and how you could differentiate them and gave my mon a 10mn course on that topic.

― Jibé (Jibé), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 13:36 (eighteen years ago)

Boyfriend: "It's on the ceiling! Why has it got so many legs?"

― Mark Co (Markco), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 13:44 (eighteen years ago)

My sleep talking releases my inner geek. I once wouldn't let my husband into bed because he 'wasn't an authorised user' and 'didn't have permission to access this database'.

And another time I 'couldn't' respond to him (presumably he was asking what I was mumbling about) because I thought I was posting to ILX and I couldn't find the 'submit' box.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 13:49 (eighteen years ago)

about 6 months ago I sleep talked the name of an ex in my sleep, apparently in rather sexual tones, which my gf heard. was pretty crappy having to apologise for that one, especially cos I don't in any way like the ex.....sleeptalking is DANGEROUS.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 16:34 (eighteen years ago)

two years pass...

"I am bartending tonight."

― kid cruti (roxymuzak), Sunday, 2 August 2009 03:11 (sixteen years ago)

two months pass...

I checked up on my oldest kid. I sort of put my head beside her.
She opens her eyes, lifts her head and says: "FRUIT" and goes back to sleep.

― Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 23 October 2009 21:41 (fifteen years ago)

As a child, I used to sing in my sleep.

― a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Friday, 23 October 2009 21:45 (fifteen years ago)

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