How much of a nightmare is it to own a bird?

I don't like dogs and I feel cats are too destructive. I want a bird. Everybody is trying to talk me out of it, which perversely only makes me want a bird more. It seems the arguments against birds boil down to the following:

1. Birds are too emotionally needy
2. They shit everywhere
3. They're too chatty; they won't shut up

Bird-owners, past and present: Which of these factors has been the most significant negative in your experience? Alternatively, if anyone wants to stick up for birds and say you've had a wonderful time owning one (or more), I'd especially like to hear from you

they belong in the sky where they can look down, to them the people must look like miniature toys

if you are quiet, one may come to your window

I guess it depends on the bird...? I had budgies throughout childhood (Birdman in the 80s, Spud in the 90s). The biggest downside is the shitting, but with budgies the poo is small and relatively inoffensive. Their chattiness is cute, especially when they have a bit of a vocabulary, and generally not too loud.

We got our budgies young from breeders and only ever had one at a time. Supposedly they are less friendly/tameable if they have other birds around. But, if you get a solo bird you do need to socialise with it. You'll probably also want to be nice and let it out of its cage whenever you can, and getting a tame bird back in is infinitely easier than getting an unfriendly one back in (unless its wings are clipped but our birds' never were).

A friend of mine as a kid had a lovebird which was also a very friendly bird, although they can be much louder than budgies.

keeping birds in cages is medieval level cruelty imo

how much of a e. allan poe fan are you?

he wrote a top notch simpsons ep, i'll give him that!

i meant the op but fair

that simpsons bit suxcks"!

came here to say what xelab said but maybe more in the style of william blake