Can you fake it?

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I lack the inability to affect a mood or emotion that I don't have. When I was a kid, I of course would sneak around the house until I found where my parents hid my Christmas presents and I would take a look and see what they were. On Christmas morning, my sister could always fake like she was really surprised by what was in her present, but I couldn't. Nowadays it comes up more in social and work situations. I can't act like I'm interested in what people have to say if it's boring, I can't pretend to like people I hate. When coworkers tell me stories when I'm trying to work, I just say "uh huh...uh huh" until they shut up. Other people can act really excited, gasp, laugh, etc., even when the story is really boring. I have the feeling this puts me at a disadvantage, especially at work, because I think it's kind of obvious that I'm not interested and some people probably think I'm a jerk. But I think the reason that I can't pretend to be interested is that when I try, it feels really fake to me and it seems like everyone else MUST be able to tell that I'm faking it. But then it seems obvious to me when other people do it too (though I guess if they were good at it, I wouldn't know about it).
Can you pretend that you're happy/interested/amused when you're not? How do you do it? Does it bother you?

― Nick A., Wednesday, 16 October 2002 18:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I can and do, and it bothers me greatly because I don't like not being true to myself, but usually I do it because I don't want the person I find dull and uninteresting to know that I find them dull and uninteresting. It seems that I've been stricken with a horrible need to make people feel good all the time, even when I feel like crap.

― luna.c (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 18:31 (twenty-three years ago)

I can't fake it. I can't be around someone who's all boring stories and unfunny jokes, and when I am, my eyes are always off in search of the exit sign. I can't feign enthusiasm, or concern, or interest -- because I feel stupid doing it, and because I feel like the other party can see right through me.

― Jody Beth Rosen, Wednesday, 16 October 2002 18:46 (twenty-three years ago)

If you're talking about faking orgasms so as not to hurt His Feelings, then I am brilliant. I can even do this fake 'fainting from sheer pleasure' and can feign unconsciousness for up to half an hour.

This is not required all the time, obv, but I feel there's little merit in making people feel disappointed after they've put in all that effort etc. It's just being polite, really.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 18:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Replying to the title of the thread instead of the question contained within: classic or dud?

― Nick A., Wednesday, 16 October 2002 18:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Classic.

― david h (david h), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 19:00 (twenty-three years ago)

But Nick: You always pretended to hate me when you really loved me, right?

― Yancey (ystrickler), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 19:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Perfectly incapable of faking any emotion, but a lot of people think I'm distant and/or glum and/or pissed when I'm truly approachable and in a good mood.

― Andy K (Andy K), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 19:11 (twenty-three years ago)

i can never tell if people can tell i'm faking my emotions. some people can almost always tell (like my oldest friend), some people can never.

― Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 19:44 (twenty-three years ago)

This is fascinating. Do tell me more.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 20:04 (twenty-three years ago)

if I were unable to fake it I wouldn't have been able to hold any of my jobs for more than a day or so

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 21:50 (twenty-three years ago)

i can fake it i think sometimes, mainly i do it to avoid hurting someones feelings or to not bring my mood crashing down on them too, but i hate it when someone is doing it to me ie: pretending to be interested when they are not, and i can tell. nothing worse than really fake people. there is a difference between a 'good fake' and a bad one. bad ones are the ones where people pretend to like someone they obviously loathe, or they are fakely over-friendly and it is just irritating.

― donna (donna), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 21:55 (twenty-three years ago)

I prefer to think of it as not bothering other people with my worries.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 21:56 (twenty-three years ago)

i don't fake anything for other people.
what you see is what you get, end of story.

― simon (simon), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 22:06 (twenty-three years ago)

No, I really am interested. I'm just yawning because I'm really tired, it's no reflection on what you're saying.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 17 October 2002 10:24 (twenty-three years ago)

That sarky post may have been a mistake: I have been unwell and not sleeping at all well, but am coming to the FAP tonight and may easily yawn without being at all bored.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 17 October 2002 10:25 (twenty-three years ago)

I suck at faking too. Both my sisters have this "put-on" tone of voice they use around the relatives that makes me cringe. Or maybe they're just being genuine... I try to smile when someone is talking non-stop and I'm totally uninterested. But I'm always kind of scared they are gonna find me out.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 17 October 2002 13:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, yes. And I totally feel like I HAVE to be fake at any job. If I were myself, I'd be totally unprofessional. I mean, even mentioning I have a band seems to be a major faux pas in the world of business. But I do it anyway.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 17 October 2002 14:02 (twenty-three years ago)

I have to fake it at work too, or else everyone would know that they all pretty much annoy me intensely. I don't know how great I am at it, though.

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 17 October 2002 14:07 (twenty-three years ago)

I also feel kind of fake around lots of people for political reasons. Wouldn't want to set anyone off. It's not worth it. So, instead, I go back to smiling.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 17 October 2002 14:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Speaking of faking it, I have to go in to this Business Networking meeting as a sub. for my boss in a few minutes. The agenda always calls for us to go around the room and each say something positive about the group. No!!!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 17 October 2002 14:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Sarah, you could rework 'something positive' from a reference from a sixth form college to a university for a prospective student. It said he "sometimes turns up to lectures and is often sober". Just change "lectures" to "work" and it's perfect.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 18 October 2002 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

i thought this was gonna be about something else...

― g (graysonlane), Friday, 18 October 2002 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

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