Hulk Hogan - Cash Cow or Evil Bitch

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Courtney Love and Elliot Smith sure, but what about the Orange Goblin himself? His astounding ascent to the top of the WWF world heavyweight championship ranks climaxes in his bodyslamming and defeating the hideously evil Andre the Giant at Wrestlemania III, all the while he's encouraging the kids to exercise, say their prayers, and eat their vitamins, Rick Derringer's wailing in the background about this "Real American" hero, but then! _No Holds Barred_ and _Suburban Commando_ and all of a sudden this Real American Hero is playing the Hollywood game?!? His moustache even turns black (because he's just pure evil) and he starts wreaking nWo havoc on the good southern gentlemen of the WCW. What a bitch! Anyway, he must've stolen all his best moves from the Junk Yard Dog, because after JYD died, Hogan was exposed for the fraud he was and hasn't been heard from since.

― Kris S., Monday, 21 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

junk yard dog is...dead?

my childhood is falling away from me.

mean gene oakerlund did a great "good golly, miss molly."

no holds barred is the best movie an athlete has ever made. "i...am...ZEUS." no shit: tiny lister has been playing the same character ever since.

what was the deal with the "stubble" that hulk hogan sported when he was "evil"? it looked he had painted it on with shoe polish. he looked like a sad hobo clown.

like all great americans, like courtney love, he is ultimately both cash cow AND evil bitch.

― fred solinger, Monday, 21 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Fred is on to something. The only thing more evil than stubble is stubble that's painted on with shoe polish. Sad hobo clowns are way more evil even than that though. I think I liked the Hulk, but I was a little tyke then, and I liked Rodney Piper way the fuck better. I probably hated Hogan, actually, but now I think I like him because I like anything from that era out of nostalgia. I just watched the '87 World Series on ESPN Classics. Minnesota vs. St. Louis, how the fuck was that classic?

― Otis Wheeler, Monday, 21 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You should get his album, with the wrestling boot band. Its marvelous.

― Mike Hanley, Monday, 21 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

ESPN needs to be showing the '86 World Series over and over, hello. Scratch that, ESPN just needs to be showing a long series of photos of Derek Jeter and Mike Piazza over and over, hello.

― Ally, Monday, 21 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yeah sure the hulk is mega-sell out; after the schtick we worked up with Andre the princess bride giant, and now all that crap with WCW - cash cow and evil; whore if you ask me. JYD rocked to the max, I still have my lemon-yellow 1986 tshirt of him, boy that guy could dance, and king knog bundy's splash on the midgets in wrestlemania 3, vs hillbilly jim and co, remains one of the greatest things I have ever witnessed on tv.

― Geoff, Tuesday, 22 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If they played the '86 Series over and over, I wouldn't get anything done I'd be offing myself so much. And who wants that.

― Otis Wheeler, Tuesday, 22 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

He was in Gremlins 2 as well, don't forget. :)

― DG, Tuesday, 22 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

As Thunderlips, he threw Rocky Balboa into the crowd during a charity boxing/wrestling match!

― Andy, Tuesday, 22 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why would you off yourself over the '86 series? The good team totally won.

― Ally, Tuesday, 22 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

roddy piper made that classic movie 'they live' and piper's pit was always classic. so he wins. the junk yard dog's schtick grew old fast, but i do remember seeing he and the hulk taking on ken patera and big john stud at cobo hall, golden memories.

― keith, Monday, 28 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I love this thread. It's like Chinese, only in English!!

― mark s, Monday, 28 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yeah, Piper was the man...anyone remember the Piper's Pit where he broke a coconut over poor Jimmy Snuka's head? As for Hogan's appearance in Rocky III, that's sort of like Courtney in Straight to Hell; Hogan wasn't even WWF champion yet (I don't think).

― Kris, Monday, 28 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

jake the snake was fun for a while, as was cyndi lauper's involvement in the whole moolah vs wendy(?) thing, and of course lou albino's girls just wanna video appearence...more midgeets Mcmahon I say.

― Geoff, Tuesday, 29 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why did he become hollywood hogan?

― Mike Hanley, Tuesday, 29 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Argh, Jake the Snake, Jake Plummer, FUCK JAKE PLUMMER. Arizona Cardinals. Pff, fucking idiots. Listen, I know this has nothing to do with the topic at hand and it's really more of tangential rambling, but what a wankerface. I'd gladly kick him in the balls.

― Ally, Tuesday, 29 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

fourteen years pass...

So, uh, well then.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 24 July 2015 15:20 (ten years ago)

five years pass...

he even has bully in his name....kinda

― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 November 2020 05:42 (four years ago)

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