following hot on the heels of one of the most highly regarded government shutdown polls of our generation - Government Shutdown / Debt Ceiling poll - September/October 2013 edition - this 2015 version will surely rank in the 200 threads of Tuesday morning. where the previous shutdown hinged on sequestration, defunding obamacare, and the debt ceiling, this time it's all about demonic flesh harvesters, i mean planned parenthood.
http://i.imgur.com/ZqmSyVY.jpg
the satanic lords of planned parenthood were videotaped discussing the donation of aborted fetal tissue to medical researchers. the arbiters of morality determined that the goateed beast officials didn't speak with enough somberness. teaming up with a crew of local altar boys, they decided to take the nearest, most convenient hostage: THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT. defund planned parenthood, or they won't agree to a budget.
luckily the citizens of the united states indicated that they wouldn't stand for such tomfoolery again. 'enough is enough - stop taking the federal government hostage for political purposes, or you'll pay a clear, heavy price at the polls' began one petition which quickly accumulated 4 million signatures meanwhile, no one in the united states actually gives a shit.
And though you might expect party leaders to put down an insurgency like this at all costs, so that a government shutdown doesn’t become a central theme of the presidential election, there are mounting reasons to doubt that they can avoid it. Republican victories in the 2014 midterm election, one year after they shut down the government in an unthinking showcase of resistance to Obamacare, convinced party activists that maximalist confrontation carries little political risk. And with little to lose, most Republican presidential candidates will advocate precisely that strategy.
brian beutler sums things up nicely here: http://www.newrepublic.com/article/122445/campaign-against-planned-parenthood-causing-headache-republicans
some guy at forbes, which is never wrong, ran some deep FORTRAN analysis to make some data hot dogs with little "60% chance of government shutdown" stickers on the inside: http://www.forbes.com/sites/stancollender/2015/08/03/chance-of-a-government-shutdown-rises-to-60/2/
everything about this is ridiculous.
Poll Results
Option | Votes |
there will be a government shutdown in fall 2015, with planned parenthood as the hostage | 5 |
there will not be a government shutdown in fall 2015 | 4 |
data hot dogs | 3 |
there will be a government shutdown in fall 2015, with some other hostage | 2 |
― 1992 ball boy (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 4 August 2015 14:47 (ten years ago)